Quote from: Jocephalopod on October 13, 2014, 10:15:46 PMQuote from: Sandtrap on October 13, 2014, 10:12:03 PMQuote from: Jocephalopod on October 13, 2014, 10:05:58 PMQuote from: Sandtrap on October 13, 2014, 10:03:54 PMSo..... I come back to pages and pages of, well, whatever happened in here. And then I look and see Strongman Sandtrap? The frack guys. Physically, I'm not in the best of shape. I go round and round in circles physically with like two months of summer work and then 8 months of couch potato winter. My head's in no better shape either. And I almost got nailed into a coffin from the flu.If anything, should just call me stubborn. If you want to give the physical thing to somebody, give it to wolvers, if he's here. But not little old me.SHUT THE FUK UP AND ACCEPT OUR PRAISENein. Nothing to praise me for. Praise means something to look up to. I'm just little old me. I get sick, I have doubts, I feel sad, and most of all, I falter.you're doing it again....most of this forum looks up to you, even if you've had a shitty life you set a standard most people can't live up to.I am serious though. Praise leaves you open to disappointment when your object of said praise falters and fails. I don't want to set standards or gold bars for others to follow, because it would make it that much harder for me when one day I inevitably failed, and the people who praised or "looked up to me" where there for it.I'm going to be level with you here, right now. Because in my time in the hospital, I spent a lot of time looking at myself. I asked a lot of questions, and found a lot of answers. And I know where I need to go now. But I'll tell you here and now anyway.I didn't nearly die because I was sick. I nearly died because of what drives me, deep down inside. It's kept me going all these years. It pulled me out of my depression, when I needed a reason to fight. And it's been the reason I've made so much progress over the years. But now, if I let it, it will kill me.Deep down in me, my sole reason for doing what I do, everything I've ever done, was my family. But not just that. My reason for all of it, is that I believe I'm a failure. And I will take back every year, every month, every week, day, minute, down to the very last second of time that I've wasted with my life, and the pain I inflicted and caused others due to my selfishness and laziness, and I will give it all back to them.I will destroy myself physically for this. If I can stand, then I will stand, and I will move, regardless of what that means for me. And that's what I did. I should have gone to the hospital earlier. But I worked. I stood up, and I went out there, and I worked. I added money onto my personal savings, of 10,000 dollars, and I gave it all away to make sure that my mother's home and workplace was stabilized.But I understand it now. I know that I have to break it. I have to start looking at myself as a person, with something to lose, and something to gain. I have to create value, and give a life to myself outside of this. I will continue to help them, always. But I need to do more than that. I need to give value to the one thing that I never cared about, and that was me.And that's what I'm going to try to do now. But, like I said, praise leaves you open. Looking up to someone, leaves you open. And one day, I will stumble. I will make a mistake. And the backlash that will come of that, is something I don't want to see happen to anybody who does look up to me.Your praise of me, the flawed person that I am, is the very thing I stand against. Because in my life, people loved me. They cared about me. Cared for me. And I let them down. I did more than that. And it's the reason why I push myself beyond injuries and debilitating things. Because I owe them that. The world owes them that.
Quote from: Sandtrap on October 13, 2014, 10:12:03 PMQuote from: Jocephalopod on October 13, 2014, 10:05:58 PMQuote from: Sandtrap on October 13, 2014, 10:03:54 PMSo..... I come back to pages and pages of, well, whatever happened in here. And then I look and see Strongman Sandtrap? The frack guys. Physically, I'm not in the best of shape. I go round and round in circles physically with like two months of summer work and then 8 months of couch potato winter. My head's in no better shape either. And I almost got nailed into a coffin from the flu.If anything, should just call me stubborn. If you want to give the physical thing to somebody, give it to wolvers, if he's here. But not little old me.SHUT THE FUK UP AND ACCEPT OUR PRAISENein. Nothing to praise me for. Praise means something to look up to. I'm just little old me. I get sick, I have doubts, I feel sad, and most of all, I falter.you're doing it again....most of this forum looks up to you, even if you've had a shitty life you set a standard most people can't live up to.
Quote from: Jocephalopod on October 13, 2014, 10:05:58 PMQuote from: Sandtrap on October 13, 2014, 10:03:54 PMSo..... I come back to pages and pages of, well, whatever happened in here. And then I look and see Strongman Sandtrap? The frack guys. Physically, I'm not in the best of shape. I go round and round in circles physically with like two months of summer work and then 8 months of couch potato winter. My head's in no better shape either. And I almost got nailed into a coffin from the flu.If anything, should just call me stubborn. If you want to give the physical thing to somebody, give it to wolvers, if he's here. But not little old me.SHUT THE FUK UP AND ACCEPT OUR PRAISENein. Nothing to praise me for. Praise means something to look up to. I'm just little old me. I get sick, I have doubts, I feel sad, and most of all, I falter.
Quote from: Sandtrap on October 13, 2014, 10:03:54 PMSo..... I come back to pages and pages of, well, whatever happened in here. And then I look and see Strongman Sandtrap? The frack guys. Physically, I'm not in the best of shape. I go round and round in circles physically with like two months of summer work and then 8 months of couch potato winter. My head's in no better shape either. And I almost got nailed into a coffin from the flu.If anything, should just call me stubborn. If you want to give the physical thing to somebody, give it to wolvers, if he's here. But not little old me.SHUT THE FUK UP AND ACCEPT OUR PRAISE
So..... I come back to pages and pages of, well, whatever happened in here. And then I look and see Strongman Sandtrap? The frack guys. Physically, I'm not in the best of shape. I go round and round in circles physically with like two months of summer work and then 8 months of couch potato winter. My head's in no better shape either. And I almost got nailed into a coffin from the flu.If anything, should just call me stubborn. If you want to give the physical thing to somebody, give it to wolvers, if he's here. But not little old me.
Quote from: Wonder Korra on October 13, 2014, 08:37:15 PM"None of these awards apply to me" Award: KinderW-wonderwomen senpai noticed me ;~;
"None of these awards apply to me" Award: Kinder
Quote from: Kinder Swageington on October 13, 2014, 10:17:33 PMQuote from: Wonder Korra on October 13, 2014, 08:37:15 PM"None of these awards apply to me" Award: KinderW-wonderwomen senpai noticed me ;~;
Funniest: Jocephalapod
what the fracking frack is going on in hereand why am i not the most MLG?!?!
Quote from: Officer Nasty on October 13, 2014, 10:50:28 PMwhat the fracking frack is going on in hereand why am i not the most MLG?!?!You have to pound the tuna first.
Quote from: Wonder Korra on October 13, 2014, 10:51:17 PMQuote from: Officer Nasty on October 13, 2014, 10:50:28 PMwhat the fracking frack is going on in hereand why am i not the most MLG?!?!You have to pound the tuna first.w-what tuna? i don't like fish ;~;
Quote from: Officer Nasty on October 13, 2014, 10:52:08 PMQuote from: Wonder Korra on October 13, 2014, 10:51:17 PMQuote from: Officer Nasty on October 13, 2014, 10:50:28 PMwhat the fracking frack is going on in hereand why am i not the most MLG?!?!You have to pound the tuna first.w-what tuna? i don't like fish ;~;Oh its not a fish.
Quote from: Decimator Omega on October 13, 2014, 09:02:30 PMQuote from: Brociopath on October 13, 2014, 09:01:08 PMDeci is proving he is the most cringey user right now.*is about to post a really threatening and lethal response that will get him IP banned*frack it. This thread isn't worth it.
Quote from: Brociopath on October 13, 2014, 09:01:08 PMDeci is proving he is the most cringey user right now.*is about to post a really threatening and lethal response that will get him IP banned*frack it. This thread isn't worth it.
Deci is proving he is the most cringey user right now.
Quote from: Wonder Korra on October 13, 2014, 10:53:38 PMQuote from: Officer Nasty on October 13, 2014, 10:52:08 PMQuote from: Wonder Korra on October 13, 2014, 10:51:17 PMQuote from: Officer Nasty on October 13, 2014, 10:50:28 PMwhat the fracking frack is going on in hereand why am i not the most MLG?!?!You have to pound the tuna first.w-what tuna? i don't like fish ;~;Oh its not a fish.*facepalms*
Quote from: Wonder Korra on October 13, 2014, 10:43:37 PMQuote from: Kinder Swageington on October 13, 2014, 10:17:33 PMQuote from: Wonder Korra on October 13, 2014, 08:37:15 PM"None of these awards apply to me" Award: KinderW-wonderwomen senpai noticed me ;~;You just had to post a gif of an extremely pretty girl, huh? :p
Quote from: Kinder Swageington on October 13, 2014, 10:53:46 PMQuote from: Wonder Korra on October 13, 2014, 10:43:37 PMQuote from: Kinder Swageington on October 13, 2014, 10:17:33 PMQuote from: Wonder Korra on October 13, 2014, 08:37:15 PM"None of these awards apply to me" Award: KinderW-wonderwomen senpai noticed me ;~;You just had to post a gif of an extremely pretty girl, huh? :pYes.
I'm not seeing enough Comms Officer, Mr. Rocket Man. I think it's gonna be a long, long time before touchdown brings them round to find your dead body.
Quote from: Rocketman287 on October 13, 2014, 10:54:07 PMQuote from: Wonder Korra on October 13, 2014, 10:53:38 PMQuote from: Officer Nasty on October 13, 2014, 10:52:08 PMQuote from: Wonder Korra on October 13, 2014, 10:51:17 PMQuote from: Officer Nasty on October 13, 2014, 10:50:28 PMwhat the fracking frack is going on in hereand why am i not the most MLG?!?!You have to pound the tuna first.w-what tuna? i don't like fish ;~;Oh its not a fish.*facepalms**Burns you with flamethrower*
Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on October 13, 2014, 10:53:53 PMI'm not seeing enough Comms Officer, Mr. Rocket Man. I think it's gonna be a long, long time before touchdown brings them round to find your dead body.fite meh bruh
Quote from: Prototype on October 13, 2014, 11:35:36 PMGuys, i'm here... Just saying.Award for user that was here: Proto
Guys, i'm here... Just saying.
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