story time

Solonoid | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Knees go weak, and I swoon, underneath the pallid moon.
Praise the night, and praise the night!
The only time I feel alright.
>be 2015
>be me, 21
>living in hot, dusty ass Arizona
>no job or desire to be raped by the sun, so  spend all day inside on computer, or playing vidya
>posting on 4chan
>tell everyone han solo dies in new star wars movie
>some kid says he traced my IP and is going to have me swatted
>call him a faggot and remind him that snape killed dumbledore
>maybe twenty or thirty minutes later, see black clad government gimps sneaking up to my front door
>sneaklevel0.jpg
this little shit actually swatted me
>get the fuck out of there
>wandering around town for hours trying to avoid the cops
>remember friend from high school's parents leave their car keys in the visor
>steal their car and leave town
>blood is pumping so hard, I've never done anything like this before

>one year later
>be me, 22
>hiding in shitty little town in Mexico
>somehow its actually a downgrade from my crappy NEET life before
>local thugs always try to mug me because I'm white
>at first just give them my shit
>buy a gun
>one day stand up to them
>kill one
>holyfuckwhathaveIdone.bsa
>run home and throw up
>his "esses" want revenge
>there three of them
>somehow end up killing them too
>in the fight, we all missed a bunch of times so it seemed bigger than it was
>guess I'm a badass now
>locals start saying I must have killed fifteen men
>roll with it
>get mad respect
>get mad Latina pussy

>two more years later
>be me, 24
>life has been sweet for a while now
>everyone thinks I'm an insane  gunfighter
>legend grows so big people come from other towns to challenge me
>I've actually gotten pretty decent, and shot five people this way
>none of them actually died, but the locals don't know that
>they still worship me out of fear
>someone comes to town looking for me
>he's got a huge hand cannon
>tells everyone he's a cop with a warrant for my extradition for stealing my friend's parents' car
>someone tells me he's looking for me
>like hell I'm going back now that I'm outlaw king of the desert
>have the locals tell him I'll meet him in the middle of main street at 11:20
>the madman shows
>alright let's do this
>before I can even pull my gun out he's already shot me
>fall to the ground in agony

I might have went on livin' but I made one fatal slip, when I tried to match the ranger with the big iron on his hip
Last Edit: September 14, 2018, 10:33:54 AM by Solonoid


 
DAS B00T x2
| Cultural Appropriator
 
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37,084 posts
This is not the greatest sig in the world, no. This is just a tribute.
Saw it comming halfway through