I'm actually still functioning. My life's been a clusterfuck this year, with lots of vodka and wrong time-wrong place situations.

After breaking up with this one person, I lost all sense of everything. My insomnia was really bad, so my mind didn't work at all. I went ten fucking days without sleep, not counting microsleeps, which came during the seventh day (lol7).

I smoked a shit tonne of cigs within that period, and my alcohol consumption went through the roof. It was a bad time, though not as bad as before. I went to parties, got wasted, and basically acted like a drunk 24/7 even when not intoxicated.

Those of you who don't know; I've had problems regarding emotions ever since birth. The concept of happiness and excitement was foreign to me. I guess you could compare it all to a grayscale or depression, except you've never tasted emotion. I never felt any surprise, fear, joy, excitement or anything. You know that lovely feeling of drinking a sweet beverage on a warm summer day? I don't feel that. I never have. I used to think people acted, and that no one really "felt" anything, like me. So that's my emotional problems in a compact form; I couldn't feel shit. Made me want to kill myself and blah blah blah.

My first experience with feelings was that relationship. It sparked some of my emotions, like joy and jealousy. And now, after the breakup, I've fallen for someone else; that has helped things in a way. I was rather entitled before. I expected people to love me. This individual I've fallen for now has no intent of being with me, and straight out ignores me. I'm a pest. But that has made me more aware of myself and who I aspire to be. So now I lift yet again, fgts. I've quit smoking and drinking, along with "snus"(tobacco you put under your upper lip). And now I'm more social and likeable and shit (I hope). She's so purrfect (in my eyes), and I absolutely love most of her traits. Yes, most, not all. I'm being realistic.

So yeah, just felt like updating some of you.

I've quit smoking

You were doing so well.

go away

Whose hand are you holding

It's great to hear you're on a more positive note. Fucking shame you got a ps4 you fucking faggot

Should've have let the girl do that to you. But its good to hear you're getting better.

ayy you're back, I missed you

ayy you're back, I missed you

Missed this place too. I think.

Still miss having Kiyo here tho

Why

Quote from: True Turquoise on July 06, 2015, 08:59:39 PM

go away

Shut up faggot, I want to strangle you with your own guts and hear your gurgling screams. I'll skin your parents in front of you and kick your balls in. I'll shove my foot sooooo far up your ass, your dentist will have to remove my toenails from your mouth. And that's not even the start. I'll crack your skull open with my thumb, and proceed to rip your head off and shit down your neck. Then I'll gouge your eyes with a spoon and turn you into an organ briefcase.

( <3 )

Too bad you'd break if you move.