i've been thinking a bit about friendship lately.

🂿 · September 18, 2016, 11:16:17 PM

If one of my friends cheats on their girlfriend, they're girlfriend will know about it because I'll talk to them in private. By that point I won't care if they're mad at me or not.

Cheating is fucking dishonest, and I don't tolerate dishonesty.

And I'm not sorry if that rustles anyone's jimmies here but that's who I am. Get fucking used to it and don't cheat.

Fucking clowns.

🍁 Aria 🔮 · September 18, 2016, 11:33:51 PM

Loyalty also means being brutally honest from time to time, and telling them what a knuckle-dragger they're being. And loyalty should come alongside respect; if you hold no reverence for someone, what is loyalty but a hollow ideal?

Zonda · September 18, 2016, 11:39:19 PM

If your friend is being self-destructive and you're not doing everything in your power to make them pull their fucking head in then you're not a friend at all tbh. It sounds like you're just too afraid of upsetting them in the short term to bother with giving them a better quality of relationship with their partner in the future.

If I found out my best friend was cheating on his partner I'd do my best to make him stop and come clean, because I fucking care about him, and I care about their relationship. If I supported him cheating because I was too afraid of offending him, I may as well just turn my back on everything we've been through in the 12 years we've known each other. There's no moral dilemma here; you either go through hell to get them back in a healthy frame of mind or you basically turn a blind eye to the fact they obviously need help.

Sαndtrap · September 18, 2016, 11:57:49 PM

Never saw friendship as being a set of rules set in stone. Friendship comes and goes and can change so quickly. Why apply an absolute constant to what could be a quickly changing dynamic at any given time?

I remember a discussion like this held some time back. My answer is still the same. I view being a friend in the manner that I'd wish myself to be treated. If I'm doing something that's overly harmful to myself or others around me, I'd expect a friend to step in and knock some sense into me based on their discretion and judgement.

There are some things you overlook in friendships, because you can't change people no matter how hard you try on that particular subject. And for other things, you put your foot down.

It's important to be flexible, not rigid.