Saucy sexy stories

Dopameme · November 26, 2014, 10:28:50 PM

That's right Flood, I'm feeling rather saucy tonight and I figured I'd make this thread so we can share any sexual stories we have, interesting or not. Guess I'll go first...

>be me
>second week of college
>friend invites me over one night
>made some dank 420 kush brownies
>"sure i'll have one why the fuck not"
>friend tells me that his younger sister came to visit
>sister brought a friend
>my friend has crush on sister's friend
>says how he's gonna have sex with her tonight
>"how can you be so sure of that, anon?"
>"dude trust me"
>girl comes over
>hot as fuck, had pretty big tits and ass
>mfw
>"oh it's on, bitch"
>few hours later me, friend, and 7/10 qt3.14 watching Insidious in friend's room
>friend too bamboozled from dank 420 kush brownies that he fell asleep
>start to snuggle up next to qt3.14 because I'm "scared"
>cuddling intensifies
>go in for the kiss
>making out intensifies
>qt3.14 whispers in ear "do you have a condom?"
>mfw
>clothes come off
>begin having hot sex on air mattress next to sleeping friend
>didn't wake him up multiple time throughout the night
>friend wakes up next morning
>"dude what happened last night?"
>

and he still doesn't know to this day.

Jive Turkey · November 26, 2014, 10:29:51 PM

OP is the worst wingman on planet earth

Dopameme · November 26, 2014, 10:31:29 PM

Quote from: Jive Turkey on November 26, 2014, 10:29:51 PM

OP is the worst wingman on planet earth

when it comes to women I abide by one mantra: Survival of the fittest

Hahahaha very funny Zonda · November 26, 2014, 10:39:26 PM

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Korra · November 26, 2014, 10:41:08 PM

Greentexting required?

Dopameme · November 26, 2014, 10:42:24 PM

Quote from: Korra on November 26, 2014, 10:41:08 PM

Greentexting required?

greentexting is optional, i just chose to do mine that way

Azumarill · November 26, 2014, 10:42:29 PM

one time i was at a pal's house and his gf was also there. we were chillin, watching a movie, then they disappear and i accidentally find them fucking when i get up to go to the bathroom

moral of the story is that im an awkward third wheel

Dopameme · November 26, 2014, 10:44:30 PM

Quote from: Azumarill on November 26, 2014, 10:42:29 PM

one time i was at a pal's house and his gf was also there. we were chillin, watching a movie, then they disappear and i accidentally find them fucking when i get up to go to the bathroom

moral of the story is that im an awkward third wheel

they were fucking in the bathroom?

Dopameme · November 26, 2014, 10:44:46 PM

Quote from: ねこ on November 26, 2014, 10:39:26 PM

Pix of girl?

sorry m80, not gonna post them here

Azumarill · November 26, 2014, 10:45:33 PM

Quote from: Officer Nasty on November 26, 2014, 10:44:30 PM

Quote from: Azumarill on November 26, 2014, 10:42:29 PM
one time i was at a pal's house and his gf was also there. we were chillin, watching a movie, then they disappear and i accidentally find them fucking when i get up to go to the bathroom

moral of the story is that im an awkward third wheel
they were fucking in the bathroom?

no, we were upstairs in a big hangout room and i had to go through my buddy's bedroom to get to the bathroom

i dont know why i didnt think they were banging. i was a pretty dumb kid

Dopameme · November 26, 2014, 10:47:00 PM

Quote from: Azumarill on November 26, 2014, 10:45:33 PM

Quote from: Officer Nasty on November 26, 2014, 10:44:30 PM
Quote from: Azumarill on November 26, 2014, 10:42:29 PM
one time i was at a pal's house and his gf was also there. we were chillin, watching a movie, then they disappear and i accidentally find them fucking when i get up to go to the bathroom

moral of the story is that im an awkward third wheel
they were fucking in the bathroom?
no, we were upstairs in a big hangout room and i had to go through my buddy's bedroom to get to the bathroom

i dont know why i didnt think they were banging. i was a pretty dumb kid

did you at least watch them finish or...?

Azumarill · November 26, 2014, 10:47:34 PM

Quote from: Officer Nasty on November 26, 2014, 10:47:00 PM

Quote from: Azumarill on November 26, 2014, 10:45:33 PM
Quote from: Officer Nasty on November 26, 2014, 10:44:30 PM
Quote from: Azumarill on November 26, 2014, 10:42:29 PM
one time i was at a pal's house and his gf was also there. we were chillin, watching a movie, then they disappear and i accidentally find them fucking when i get up to go to the bathroom

moral of the story is that im an awkward third wheel
they were fucking in the bathroom?
no, we were upstairs in a big hangout room and i had to go through my buddy's bedroom to get to the bathroom

i dont know why i didnt think they were banging. i was a pretty dumb kid
did you at least watch them finish or...?

no i went and did my business. i dont remember what happened when i walked back through the bedroom. i think they were still in the bed..

RomanGladiator · November 26, 2014, 10:48:13 PM

I have never had an intimate encounter.

Dopameme · November 26, 2014, 10:49:04 PM

Quote from: Azumarill on November 26, 2014, 10:47:34 PM

Quote from: Officer Nasty on November 26, 2014, 10:47:00 PM
Quote from: Azumarill on November 26, 2014, 10:45:33 PM
Quote from: Officer Nasty on November 26, 2014, 10:44:30 PM
Quote from: Azumarill on November 26, 2014, 10:42:29 PM
one time i was at a pal's house and his gf was also there. we were chillin, watching a movie, then they disappear and i accidentally find them fucking when i get up to go to the bathroom

moral of the story is that im an awkward third wheel
they were fucking in the bathroom?
no, we were upstairs in a big hangout room and i had to go through my buddy's bedroom to get to the bathroom

i dont know why i didnt think they were banging. i was a pretty dumb kid
did you at least watch them finish or...?
no i went and did my business. i dont remember what happened when i walked back through the bedroom. i think they were still in the bed..

LOL

not sure what i would do in that situation...probably turn right around, slam the door, and walk home or something

A Cheese Potato · November 26, 2014, 10:51:40 PM

One time the cashier's hand touched mine when she gave me my change. Needless to say I had to go home and change

Girl of Mystery · November 26, 2014, 10:52:30 PM

Quote from: Jive Turkey on November 26, 2014, 10:29:51 PM

OP is the worst wingman on planet earth

Hoes before bros

Dopameme · November 26, 2014, 10:52:37 PM

Quote from: A Cheese Potato on November 26, 2014, 10:51:40 PM

One time the cashier's hand touched mine when she gave me my change. Needless to say I had to go home and change

YouTube

Girl of Mystery · November 26, 2014, 10:53:41 PM

I got friendzoned this one time...

Dopameme · November 26, 2014, 10:56:09 PM

Quote from: BritishLemön on November 26, 2014, 10:53:41 PM

I got friendzoned this one time...

sauce pls

Ásgeirr · November 26, 2014, 10:57:14 PM

What are those

Girl of Mystery · November 26, 2014, 10:58:23 PM

Quote from: Officer Nasty on November 26, 2014, 10:56:09 PM

Quote from: BritishLemön on November 26, 2014, 10:53:41 PM
I got friendzoned this one time...
sauce pls

how do?

Anonymous (User Deleted) · November 26, 2014, 10:59:37 PM

Pasta dinners are pretty saucy, I suppose.

Dopameme · November 26, 2014, 11:00:29 PM

Quote from: BritishLemön on November 26, 2014, 10:58:23 PM

Quote from: Officer Nasty on November 26, 2014, 10:56:09 PM
Quote from: BritishLemön on November 26, 2014, 10:53:41 PM
I got friendzoned this one time...
sauce pls
how do?

idk m8 you give me a beginning, middle, and end with vivid sensory details and thought-provoking imagery

Girl of Mystery · November 26, 2014, 11:04:31 PM

Quote from: Officer Nasty on November 26, 2014, 11:00:29 PM

Quote from: BritishLemön on November 26, 2014, 10:58:23 PM
Quote from: Officer Nasty on November 26, 2014, 10:56:09 PM
Quote from: BritishLemön on November 26, 2014, 10:53:41 PM
I got friendzoned this one time...
sauce pls
how do?
idk m8 you give me a beginning, middle, and end with vivid sensory details and thought-provoking imagery

>very pretty girl
>me like
>we friends
>she know i like
>we be flirty
>she get boyfriend
>me be annoyed i miss chance
>we keep being friend
>we no see each other for a long time now

Will that do?

Dopameme · November 26, 2014, 11:06:38 PM

Quote from: BritishLemön on November 26, 2014, 11:04:31 PM

Quote from: Officer Nasty on November 26, 2014, 11:00:29 PM
Quote from: BritishLemön on November 26, 2014, 10:58:23 PM
Quote from: Officer Nasty on November 26, 2014, 10:56:09 PM
Quote from: BritishLemön on November 26, 2014, 10:53:41 PM
I got friendzoned this one time...
sauce pls
how do?
idk m8 you give me a beginning, middle, and end with vivid sensory details and thought-provoking imagery
very pretty girl
me like
we friends
she know i like
we be flirty
she get boyfriend
me be annoyed i miss chance
we keep being friend
we no see each other for a long time now

Will that do?

adequate.

A Cheese Potato · November 26, 2014, 11:09:53 PM

Quote from: Officer Nasty on November 26, 2014, 11:06:38 PM

Quote from: BritishLemön on November 26, 2014, 11:04:31 PM
Quote from: Officer Nasty on November 26, 2014, 11:00:29 PM
Quote from: BritishLemön on November 26, 2014, 10:58:23 PM
Quote from: Officer Nasty on November 26, 2014, 10:56:09 PM
Quote from: BritishLemön on November 26, 2014, 10:53:41 PM
I got friendzoned this one time...
sauce pls
how do?
idk m8 you give me a beginning, middle, and end with vivid sensory details and thought-provoking imagery
very pretty girl
me like
we friends
she know i like
we be flirty
she get boyfriend
me be annoyed i miss chance
we keep being friend
we no see each other for a long time now

Will that do?
adequate.

I think not, there was a distinct lack of epic mayo arrows

Dopameme · November 26, 2014, 11:11:30 PM

Quote from: A Cheese Potato on November 26, 2014, 11:09:53 PM

Quote from: Officer Nasty on November 26, 2014, 11:06:38 PM
Quote from: BritishLemön on November 26, 2014, 11:04:31 PM
Quote from: Officer Nasty on November 26, 2014, 11:00:29 PM
Quote from: BritishLemön on November 26, 2014, 10:58:23 PM
Quote from: Officer Nasty on November 26, 2014, 10:56:09 PM
Quote from: BritishLemön on November 26, 2014, 10:53:41 PM
I got friendzoned this one time...
sauce pls
how do?
idk m8 you give me a beginning, middle, and end with vivid sensory details and thought-provoking imagery
very pretty girl
me like
we friends
she know i like
we be flirty
she get boyfriend
me be annoyed i miss chance
we keep being friend
we no see each other for a long time now

Will that do?
adequate.
I think not, there was a distinct lack of epic mayo arrows

nonsense mate the ebin maymay arrows were optional

Girl of Mystery · November 26, 2014, 11:11:49 PM

Quote from: A Cheese Potato on November 26, 2014, 11:09:53 PM

Quote from: Officer Nasty on November 26, 2014, 11:06:38 PM
Quote from: BritishLemön on November 26, 2014, 11:04:31 PM
Quote from: Officer Nasty on November 26, 2014, 11:00:29 PM
Quote from: BritishLemön on November 26, 2014, 10:58:23 PM
Quote from: Officer Nasty on November 26, 2014, 10:56:09 PM
Quote from: BritishLemön on November 26, 2014, 10:53:41 PM
I got friendzoned this one time...
sauce pls
how do?
idk m8 you give me a beginning, middle, and end with vivid sensory details and thought-provoking imagery
very pretty girl
me like
we friends
she know i like
we be flirty
she get boyfriend
me be annoyed i miss chance
we keep being friend
we no see each other for a long time now

Will that do?
adequate.
I think not, there was a distinct lack of epic mayo arrows

Happy, nigger?

A Cheese Potato · November 26, 2014, 11:17:25 PM

Quote from: BritishLemön on November 26, 2014, 11:11:49 PM

Quote from: A Cheese Potato on November 26, 2014, 11:09:53 PM
Quote from: Officer Nasty on November 26, 2014, 11:06:38 PM
Quote from: BritishLemön on November 26, 2014, 11:04:31 PM
Quote from: Officer Nasty on November 26, 2014, 11:00:29 PM
Quote from: BritishLemön on November 26, 2014, 10:58:23 PM
Quote from: Officer Nasty on November 26, 2014, 10:56:09 PM
Quote from: BritishLemön on November 26, 2014, 10:53:41 PM
I got friendzoned this one time...
sauce pls
how do?
idk m8 you give me a beginning, middle, and end with vivid sensory details and thought-provoking imagery
very pretty girl
me like
we friends
she know i like
we be flirty
she get boyfriend
me be annoyed i miss chance
we keep being friend
we no see each other for a long time now

Will that do?
adequate.
I think not, there was a distinct lack of epic mayo arrows
Happy, nigger?

sensational stuff, much clearer to read now

Jim · November 26, 2014, 11:32:49 PM

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