Quote from: bastard man on April 04, 2017, 10:21:06 PM

wait, was sandtrap's last post really one year ago? what the fuck? i could've sworn i've seen him around sorta recently

http://sep7agon.net/profile/1951/

He had lost the password to his original account.

oh yeah

Sleep tight

Damn 
Rest in peace. I was hoping that he was doing fine after he stopped posting, now I'm sad. I've never met anyone here irl but It sucks hearing something like this, especially about someone as friendly and interesting as Sandtrap.

I didn't know him well, didn't really have much of a desire to, didn't feel we'd mesh well personality wise. But I liked the way he spoke, and his dark sense of humour tickled my funny bone on a few occasions, and I liked his method of speaking, which made his his walls of text bearable to read.

I can't really imagine how scary it must be to go through such an illness, to feel your body failing on you when you should be in your prime.

I hope sep7agon's shenanigans entertained him some.

What the fuck

We talked over PMs a lot, but it started getting pretty sparse this past year especially with me not visiting so often anymore. Our last conversation was in December. It's probably going to take me a few days to properly process this since I'm still trying to figure out how to react.

All I know right now is that I feel like I took for granted the time he still had, and I feel like absolute shit now.

I really don't know where to start with this. Quin originally gave me a list of names of people to contact and some details about them several weeks ago and I feel like I should clarify some things. I also want to shed light on who this guy was because I knew him in person.

So for starters, I got the call yesterday from his mother. He passed away in his sleep on April 2nd. His liver began showing signs of failure several weeks prior and it only became noticeable when his skin showed signs of jaundice. His liver shut down completely long before he passed away and it was the toxin buildup that got him. I'm grateful that at the very least, he passed during his sleep.

I'm waiting on further information from his family about what happens next. Quin was never big on funerals but I wouldn't write off some kind of memorial service for him. If it happens, I'm going to go. If its at all possible, I'll see if I can get something for you guys.

And I guess that just leaves who Quin was. I didn't know him as well as my buddy whom I shared this account with, but he was a seriously good dude. The first time I met him, he helped my buddy move into my place. He drove all the way out to Saskatoon from where he lived, packed everything into his truck, and helped unload all of it at my house.

He spent most of the day travelling back and forth, never complained once, and never asked for so much as a dime or even a glass of water for all the work he did. Like, no joke, you could stake your life on this guy. Anytime my buddy called him he was just right there.

I got to know him a little better when he was originally dealing his chemo treatment for the tumor in his head. I'm ashamed to say that over the past year I didn't visit him or call as often as I should have, and the few times that I did, they really hit me.

The first thing he did when he went into hospitalized care was start getting to know everybody in the cancer ward. Early on he told me he was bored and irritated being stuck there but he started passing the time by writing stories for some of the kids there. Even when they moved him to isolation he was still trying to write for them.

The second time I came to visit really hit me. This was a big dude. He was like six foot something and strong like you wouldn't believe. He'd lost so much weight that he looked almost anorexic. He could barely speak, he could barely stand, and the first thing he did was force himself up out of a wheelchair just to give me a hug.

I really, really thought he was going to make it. My friend told me stories about Quin and I saw him in person enough to know that this guy never quit. The doctors gave him until June last year to live and he fought it every single day. When his liver shut down he told me the doctors didn't give him until the end of the march and even then he still beat them. April 2nd. The dude was laughing after waking up from surgery to remove part of his arm.

My friend died late last year and as soon as he heard about it he called me. He called me every day for something like three weeks just to make sure I was okay. I legit don't have any words to describe how fucking selfless and unbelievably strong this guy was and I'm ashamed that I didn't get to know him better. I owe him. If I get any news from his family I'll post it.

Hoping he's getting on with building that log house up there, now that he's got time.

Had a chat with him about this time last month, after a little altercation in Sapphire that got me banned there for a week. After I got back for my ban, I found out he'd been defending what I'd said that got me into trouble. He didn't have to, didn't need to, and I'm not sure that it helped, but it was the thought that counted, certainly more than I could've expected.

I didn't know him well at the time other than what I'd read and I guess I won't be able to now, but he always had that air of being friendly and approachable. It seemed easy for him to start a conversation, be an ear to listen to, a shoulder to lean on, and all the other clichès.

I and many of us are thankful for it, some more than others, for the conversations we had with him.

Probably the only person who I genuinely felt like they could relate to my inner self. Cried for the first time in many years earlier, and perhaps now I know why.

Two things to start with. I know that I don't have the health or the time to become heavily invested in trying to help. And I know that your problems won't dissappear with the words I can give. If I could transfer memories directly to you, and show you all that I know on this subject, I would.

There's too much to talk about. Too many angles to cover and discuss. Your problems are your own. But I am going to try.

You can change who you are. You can change your purpose. Wasted potential means nothing. Every person who's ever lived has wasted potential.

I can't help your family issues. But I've lived through my own. I don't have all the answers but I have some.

10 years ago I was in your shoes. I'd wager money on it that the circumstances were similiar down to a few details. I made it to where I am now. Pulled myself out of that black pit and back from the brink. It's not impossible for you to do either.

My health is in rough shape right now. I'm not going to expend energy without warrant. But if you'd like, I can talk you through things and try to share what I know. If you accept that offer, I'll do all that I'm able to.

It's not the black hole that you think it is. And you're aware enough to know that you're off course. You have a chance to pull yourself out of it.

What a fucking guy. I sincerely wish I had taken him up upon his offer.

I didn't know Sandtrap as well as I would have liked, but the time I got to spend with him showed how great of a person he was. It was a shit situation he was placed in, arguably the shittiest hand he could have been dealt and nobody deserves what he had to go through.

I'll remember him well, and at the end of the day I suppose that's all we can hope our friends and family do once we're gone.
Rest well friend... I gotta believe that wherever you are now has to be better than this.

Rest in peace, Sand. You deserved better.

Well I'm not going to lie and pretend that I loved reading his posts because that would be disrespectful, I always just skim read them but it sucks that he died. I guess it goes to show that we like to act like assholes and jokers online but in the end we're all still human and we all die in the end.

There goes the realest fucking G to grace bungie.net/sep7agon. I won't pretend to have known him well, but even so I can't help but feel his personality has left a lasting impression on us all.

I think all of the regulars are willing to lend an ear and a shoulder to lean on when called upon, but he would always go out of his way to make sure you're all good, or at least get your worries off your chest in as much detail as possible. I'm glad he put such strong values to use while he had the chance.

This has been a solid week of hard pills to swallow. I'll never forget what an amazing person you are, man. The world's a darker place for what happened. Peace.

Rest in peace