Psychiatric Help 5¢ [The Regressioning]

 
 
Mr. Psychologist
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<.<


A while ago I made a joke thread on B.notquitesoshityet where I offered bullshit psychiatric advice and diagnosis for free <.<

Welp, I'm bored so here is Mark II. The Regressioning.

Making the same thread again would be boring so I'm adding some options for what type and dose of bullshittery you'd like.

So let's get this started.
Here is a short questionnaire/options list for you to chose from <.<

Quote
Type of diagnosis
Select one
[Freudian] [Super Serious] [Horseshit/Psychobabble] [Random]

List your MBTI typing - (Don't know it, then select a random one from here)

Second option
You can either list some symptoms or I can pull a diagnosis out of my mental shrektum based on your posts/online personality. Select one.

[Symptoms] [Shrektum]

List your symptoms here if you selected #1.

The 'doctor'™ will be with you shortly.


 
challengerX
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
—Judge Aaron Satie
——Carmen
I tend to get irritated very easily when people disagree with me, even when I know my opinions are right. Don't know if that's like a specific thing, but it's the only thing wrong with me that I can think of.
Last Edit: August 24, 2014, 07:15:52 PM by SecondClass


nͫiͤcͫeͤ | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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the dj spins and cuts me
           hardcore will never die
: ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ )               https://youtu.be/uDF4cwAghAc
: ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ )
: ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ ) : ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ )
) : ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ ) : ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ )
: ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ ) : ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ ) : ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ )
: ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็: ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ ) : ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ ) : ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็
I keep dying.

What do?


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Noelle discussed safe sex with me. Should I consider wearing my armour when we commence the mating ritual?


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uhhh...

- korrie
Noelle discussed safe sex with me. Should I consider wearing my armour when we commence the mating ritual?
Don't forget the energy shields, and give thanks to the Gods.


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Don't forget the energy shields, and give thanks to the Gods.

Imagine using my cloak amidst the acts! Any visitor would see her nude form flailing about on the bed.


ΚΑΤΑΝΑΛΩΤΗΣ | Mythic Invincible!
 
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"A time is coming when men will go mad, and when they see someone who is not mad, they will attack him saying, 'You are mad, you are not like us'."
-Saint Anthony the Great
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Korra | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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uhhh...

- korrie
Imagine using my cloak amidst the acts! Any visitor would see her nude form flailing about on the bed.
You know that Superman joke?


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You know that Superman joke?

I think.

My arse hurts?


 
ಠ_ಠ
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We knew the world would not be the same.
A few people laughed, a few people cried, most people were silent.
I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad-Gita.
Vishnu is trying to persuade the Prince that he should do his duty
and to impress him takes on his multi-armed form and says,
"Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.."
I suppose we all thought that one way or another.
Noelle discussed safe sex with me. Should I consider wearing my armour when we commence the mating ritual?
Here, take this suit of armor:


 
 
Mr. Psychologist
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<.<
I'll have the double cheese burger WITH bacon please.


Enjoy your lowres meal.


Korra | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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uhhh...

- korrie
I think.

My arse hurts?
Poor poor invisible man.


 
 
Mr. Psychologist
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<.<
I tend to get irritated easily when people disagree with me, even when I know my opinions are right. Don't know if that's like a specific thing, but it's the only thing wrong with me that I can think of.

What kind of answer would you like?
I can possibly even do a half serious one <.<


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Here, take this suit of armor:


Did humanity specifically design that for me?


 
 
Mr. Psychologist
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<.<
I keep dying.

What do?

Have you tried turning it off and on again?


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Poor poor invisible man.

And this is why I would have visitors!


 
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
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uhhh...

- korrie
Do I try xbox.com?


 
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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
—Judge Aaron Satie
——Carmen
What kind of answer would you like?
I can possibly even do a half serious one <.<
The most accurate one you can possibly think of.


 
 
Mr. Psychologist
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<.<
Noelle discussed safe sex with me. Should I consider wearing my armour when we commence the mating ritual?

...

;_;

I need a shrink now.


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Comms Officer is a freaking retard.
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...

;_;

I need a shrink now.

Just close your eyes, and my lustrous acts will elicit any mind scarring thought out of your smaller form.


nͫiͤcͫeͤ | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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the dj spins and cuts me
           hardcore will never die
: ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ )               https://youtu.be/uDF4cwAghAc
: ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ )
: ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ ) : ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ )
) : ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ ) : ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ )
: ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ ) : ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ ) : ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ )
: ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็: ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ ) : ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ ) : ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็
Have you tried turning it off and on again?
Oh. I'll try that. Also, what's "dog food lid", spelled backwards?


 
 
Mr. Psychologist
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<.<
The most accurate one you can possibly think of.

Hmm alright <.<

Let's give this a shot. I'll need a few questions answered before I can give a decent attempt >.>

Are you an only child? How would you describe your relationship with your best friend IRL? (briefly) and also with your parents. (Father in particular)


 
 
Mr. Psychologist
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<.<
Oh. I'll try that. Also, what's "dog food lid", spelled backwards?

No™


 
 
Mr. Psychologist
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<.<
Things with my girlfriend are improving, and I'm adjusting well to my new workout routine, but right now things seem utterly bleak and all I want is to escape.

A serious answer? <.<
Or a joke one? >.>


 
 
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<.<


nͫiͤcͫeͤ | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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the dj spins and cuts me
           hardcore will never die
: ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ )               https://youtu.be/uDF4cwAghAc
: ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ )
: ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ ) : ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ )
) : ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ ) : ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ )
: ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ ) : ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ ) : ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ )
: ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็: ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ ) : ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ ) : ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็
No™
Is it true that aliens invaded the Moon on July 20th, 1969?


 
SecondClass
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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
—Judge Aaron Satie
——Carmen
Hmm alright <.<

Let's give this a shot. I'll need a few questions answered before I can give a decent attempt >.>

Are you an only child? How would you describe your relationship with your best friend IRL? (briefly) and also with your parents. (Father in particular)
1.) Nope, two siblings (though I am the oldest)
2.) We're blood brothers, I love him more than any member of my family. We'd legit die for each other.
3.) My mom can be a total bitch, but she's thankfully pretty chill, not uptight at all. My dad is more reasonable, but he's a total prude. They're divorced, but I'm probably closer to my mom.