Pornhub sends new PC to man who broke laptop to stop mum catching him fapping

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Raw Sugar | Heroic Unstoppable!
 
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Ummmm why not remove the power cord and battery? I could literally take the lock and safety lock off and pull out battery in 3 seconds.


Girl of Mystery | Mythic Unfrigginbelievable!
 
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>Buy cheap broken laptop
>Break even more
>Tweet picture to Pornhub
>Receive new laptop


Raw Sugar | Heroic Unstoppable!
 
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Also pornhub. Kek. Who even uses that site?


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Your love gets me so high
Also pornhub. Kek. Who even uses that site?
hey what do you have against pornhub?


Girl of Mystery | Mythic Unfrigginbelievable!
 
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A flower which blooms on the battlefield
Also pornhub. Kek. Who even uses that site?
hey what do you have against pornhub?
shit quality videos

ePorner for dat 1080p 60fps porn


Assassin 11D7 | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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"flaming nipple chops"-Your host, the man they call Ghost.

To say, 'nothing is true', is to realize that the foundations of society are fragile, and that we must be the shepherds of our own civilization. To say, 'everything is permitted', is to understand that we are the architects of our actions, and that we must live with their consequences, whether glorious or tragic.
Pornhub seems like a real nice guy


Coomer | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Because he couldn't just close the lid lol


Mattie G Indahouse | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Did he say glass of juice or gas the Jews?
👶🏽:h..

👨🏽:honey, he's gonna say his first words

👩🏽:!!

👶🏽:hhh...

👶🏽:here come dat boi 🐸!

👨🏽:o shit waddup 😂💯

👩🏽:💔
Now he has to explain how he got a computer and why the shipping sticker says "Pornhub" on it. 


FatherlyNick - fuck putin | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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If you know, you know.
lol what?!


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I bet his mom knows now.


🂿 | Mythic Unfrigginbelievable!
 
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Free laptop eh? I should try that sometime. XD


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Quote
Pornhub is sending a brand new computer to a man who smashed his laptop to stop his mum catching him watching porn.

The teen, identified only as Denzel, made headlines when he tweeted a picture of a smashed laptop screen under the words ‘Mum was walking up the stairs and Pornhub decided to freeze, I had no other choice’ followed by three crying emojis.

But Denzel can dry his eyes after Pornhub announced that they would sending him a brand new computer for being a loyal fan.

According to Pornhub, situations like Denzel’s are commonplace with users.

‘We got wind of what happened to Denzel and his laptop over the last few days, and realize that this is a common, yet tragic modern day mis-FAP of the average Pornhub fan,’ said Vice President Corey Price.

‘It’s also a serious blow to everyone who enjoys the privacy of a good w*** within the security of their rooms.

‘We appreciate Denzel’s loyalty, as well as his clear sense of judgment in picking our site as a digital destination for some adult oriented R&R. As a result, we would like to send him a brand new laptop alongside some awesome Pornhub swag to use for his continued pleasure.’

Lel.


Wait... He's a teen and they're sending him a new laptop and "pornhub swag"... Isn't that like soliciting adult content to a minor?


 
True Turquoise
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fuck you
porn


Kitsune 狐 | Mythic Invincible!
 
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Ummmm why not remove the power cord and battery? I could literally take the lock and safety lock off and pull out battery in 3 seconds.

It seems as though you've had to do this before.
Or extremely prepared.


 
𝑺𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒅𝑪𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒔
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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
—Judge Aaron Satie
——Carmen
>using actual porn sites and not Google Images for pics and Youtube for videos


 
Jono
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Goodness gracious, great balls of lightning!
No offer to be in a porno? Lame


 
challengerX
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
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Onion | Elite Four Invincible!
 
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ePorner for dat 1080p 60fps porn
Nigga that's my main too.

I don't want it to look like I'm sucking your dick, but could you be any more based?


Girl of Mystery | Mythic Unfrigginbelievable!
 
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A flower which blooms on the battlefield
ePorner for dat 1080p 60fps porn
Nigga that's my main too.

I don't want it to look like I'm sucking your dick, but could you be any more based?
stroke my ego more please


Raw Sugar | Heroic Unstoppable!
 
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Sick humour, no respect.

Also pornhub. Kek. Who even uses that site?
hey what do you have against pornhub?
its just really not my thing. I can't find anything actually exciting on that site anymore. At least with tumblr or a few other sites you can like get lucky and stumble across something incredible.


Yu | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Almost always, with moderation
There is a function called sleep mode, its there for a reason.


 
TB
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lol what a duster.


Raw Sugar | Heroic Unstoppable!
 
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Ummmm why not remove the power cord and battery? I could literally take the lock and safety lock off and pull out battery in 3 seconds.

It seems as though you've had to do this before.
Or extremely prepared.
yeah I'm a crafty bitch. I take my privacy seriously. It's not my parents business to know what their 19 year old daughter does. Prying or straight out violating my privacy is srsly just going to destroy our trust and our relationship. I know they don't respect my privacy anyway so I'll just make sure it doesn't get to that point.


Kitsune 狐 | Mythic Invincible!
 
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Ummmm why not remove the power cord and battery? I could literally take the lock and safety lock off and pull out battery in 3 seconds.

It seems as though you've had to do this before.
Or extremely prepared.
yeah I'm a crafty bitch. I take my privacy seriously. It's not my parents business to know what their 19 year old daughter does. Prying or straight out violating my privacy is srsly just going to destroy our trust and our relationship. I know they don't respect my privacy anyway so I'll just make sure it doesn't get to that point.
I know that feeling.
I'm an only child and they were on top of me constantly (don't be a prude)

Trying to keep my web identity hidden from them was a chore. They couldn't monitor from another computer because they were pretty much internet illiterate, but they would access my computer when I wasn't home and made me give my passwords up "or else no internet".

Obviously I didn't want them to read my 13 year old fagfanfiction. So I managed to break my laptop to where everything was only accessible through the task manager.

Problem solved.


Raw Sugar | Heroic Unstoppable!
 
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Ummmm why not remove the power cord and battery? I could literally take the lock and safety lock off and pull out battery in 3 seconds.

It seems as though you've had to do this before.
Or extremely prepared.
yeah I'm a crafty bitch. I take my privacy seriously. It's not my parents business to know what their 19 year old daughter does. Prying or straight out violating my privacy is srsly just going to destroy our trust and our relationship. I know they don't respect my privacy anyway so I'll just make sure it doesn't get to that point.
I know that feeling.
I'm an only child and they were on top of me constantly (don't be a prude)

Trying to keep my web identity hidden from them was a chore. They couldn't monitor from another computer because they were pretty much internet illiterate, but they would access my computer when I wasn't home and made me give my passwords up "or else no internet".

Obviously I didn't want them to read my 13 year old fagfanfiction. So I managed to break my laptop to where everything was only accessible through the task manager.

Problem solved.
lol. Sounds like my parents. Except my dad know how to use computers a bit more. There's some friction between us about the whole internet thing. But fuck I'm 19 and I'll be damned before another adult comes along and tells me what I can or can't do online. I'm so done with them.


Kitsune 狐 | Mythic Invincible!
 
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Ummmm why not remove the power cord and battery? I could literally take the lock and safety lock off and pull out battery in 3 seconds.

It seems as though you've had to do this before.
Or extremely prepared.
yeah I'm a crafty bitch. I take my privacy seriously. It's not my parents business to know what their 19 year old daughter does. Prying or straight out violating my privacy is srsly just going to destroy our trust and our relationship. I know they don't respect my privacy anyway so I'll just make sure it doesn't get to that point.
I know that feeling.
I'm an only child and they were on top of me constantly (don't be a prude)

Trying to keep my web identity hidden from them was a chore. They couldn't monitor from another computer because they were pretty much internet illiterate, but they would access my computer when I wasn't home and made me give my passwords up "or else no internet".

Obviously I didn't want them to read my 13 year old fagfanfiction. So I managed to break my laptop to where everything was only accessible through the task manager.

Problem solved.
lol. Sounds like my parents. Except my dad know how to use computers a bit more. There's some friction between us about the whole internet thing. But fuck I'm 19 and I'll be damned before another adult comes along and tells me what I can or can't do online. I'm so done with them.
Well that's never fun that's why I moved out lol


Raw Sugar | Heroic Unstoppable!
 
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Ummmm why not remove the power cord and battery? I could literally take the lock and safety lock off and pull out battery in 3 seconds.

It seems as though you've had to do this before.
Or extremely prepared.
yeah I'm a crafty bitch. I take my privacy seriously. It's not my parents business to know what their 19 year old daughter does. Prying or straight out violating my privacy is srsly just going to destroy our trust and our relationship. I know they don't respect my privacy anyway so I'll just make sure it doesn't get to that point.
I know that feeling.
I'm an only child and they were on top of me constantly (don't be a prude)

Trying to keep my web identity hidden from them was a chore. They couldn't monitor from another computer because they were pretty much internet illiterate, but they would access my computer when I wasn't home and made me give my passwords up "or else no internet".

Obviously I didn't want them to read my 13 year old fagfanfiction. So I managed to break my laptop to where everything was only accessible through the task manager.

Problem solved.
lol. Sounds like my parents. Except my dad know how to use computers a bit more. There's some friction between us about the whole internet thing. But fuck I'm 19 and I'll be damned before another adult comes along and tells me what I can or can't do online. I'm so done with them.
Well that's never fun that's why I moved out lol
lucky you


Kitsune 狐 | Mythic Invincible!
 
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Ummmm why not remove the power cord and battery? I could literally take the lock and safety lock off and pull out battery in 3 seconds.

It seems as though you've had to do this before.
Or extremely prepared.
yeah I'm a crafty bitch. I take my privacy seriously. It's not my parents business to know what their 19 year old daughter does. Prying or straight out violating my privacy is srsly just going to destroy our trust and our relationship. I know they don't respect my privacy anyway so I'll just make sure it doesn't get to that point.
I know that feeling.
I'm an only child and they were on top of me constantly (don't be a prude)

Trying to keep my web identity hidden from them was a chore. They couldn't monitor from another computer because they were pretty much internet illiterate, but they would access my computer when I wasn't home and made me give my passwords up "or else no internet".

Obviously I didn't want them to read my 13 year old fagfanfiction. So I managed to break my laptop to where everything was only accessible through the task manager.

Problem solved.
lol. Sounds like my parents. Except my dad know how to use computers a bit more. There's some friction between us about the whole internet thing. But fuck I'm 19 and I'll be damned before another adult comes along and tells me what I can or can't do online. I'm so done with them.
Well that's never fun that's why I moved out lol
lucky you

You'll get there too. I'm also 23 lol


Raw Sugar | Heroic Unstoppable!
 
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Ummmm why not remove the power cord and battery? I could literally take the lock and safety lock off and pull out battery in 3 seconds.

It seems as though you've had to do this before.
Or extremely prepared.
yeah I'm a crafty bitch. I take my privacy seriously. It's not my parents business to know what their 19 year old daughter does. Prying or straight out violating my privacy is srsly just going to destroy our trust and our relationship. I know they don't respect my privacy anyway so I'll just make sure it doesn't get to that point.
I know that feeling.
I'm an only child and they were on top of me constantly (don't be a prude)

Trying to keep my web identity hidden from them was a chore. They couldn't monitor from another computer because they were pretty much internet illiterate, but they would access my computer when I wasn't home and made me give my passwords up "or else no internet".

Obviously I didn't want them to read my 13 year old fagfanfiction. So I managed to break my laptop to where everything was only accessible through the task manager.

Problem solved.
lol. Sounds like my parents. Except my dad know how to use computers a bit more. There's some friction between us about the whole internet thing. But fuck I'm 19 and I'll be damned before another adult comes along and tells me what I can or can't do online. I'm so done with them.
Well that's never fun that's why I moved out lol
lucky you

You'll get there too. I'm also 23 lol
19 here