Perfect Grammar Thread

Hur många kukar har du i din röv?

I don't know how Swedish grammar works.

It just makes you look gay[1] LOL

[1] Punctuation.

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[1] Comma.

This is pretty ironic[1] considering you use some of the worst grammar of all the users here.

[1] Comma.

if by "worst grammar", you mean i sometimes type like this, then you obviously don't know what bad grammar is

it's not just capitalization and punctuation--it's also subject/verb agreement, sentence structure, irregularities, and various other technicalities

looking past capitalization and punctuation, yeah, i actually have some of the best grammar on the forum

You used to be a stickler for it; why'd you give it up?

ignoring for the moment that i haven't, and that i've explained this a number of times already, but the reason i type like this sometimes is because i think it makes my posts sound more relaxed and informal

The comma's not necessary, and it disrupts the flow of the sentence. Your spelling is fine, but you can't deny that formatting and punctuation are important for grammar. It's not a big deal, I was just wondering why you stopped. I agree it sounds more formal to use proper punctuation (though I don't see a problem with formality), but your posts tend to feel bland and lifeless because of their absence, at least to me. Seeing you use punctuation and capitalization in this thread immediately makes your posts feel more personal, enthusiastic, and conversational, like you're actually interested in what's being discussed.

Have you ever read the book Eats, Shoots & Leaves? I think you'd enjoy it.

h,i,the,tee

I'm not sure if you just hit random keys, or if there's actually some kind of hidden message in here somewhere.

At first, it was. But it's just random crap.

Note to self: consult Verbatim when in need of grammar critique on papers.

Have you rəad Slaughterhouse 5?

The comma's not necessary, and it disrupts the flow of the sentence.[1] Your spelling is fine, but you can't deny that formatting and punctuation are important for grammar. It's not a big deal,[2] I was just wondering why you stopped. I agree it sounds more formal to use proper punctuation (though I don't see a problem with formality), but your posts tend to feel bland and lifeless because of their[3] absence, at least to me. Seeing you use punctuation and capitalization in this thread immediately makes your posts feel more personal, enthusiastic, and conversational, like you're actually interested in what's being discussed.[4]

Have you ever read the book Eats, Shoots, and Leaves? I think you'd enjoy it.

[1] Eh, I disagree. If anything, I think it flows better with the comma, because the second part of the sentence is making this big, bold declaration. So the short pause adds a bit more flair to it, in my opinion. That may not be what you intend, of course, but most of these corrections are based both on my knowledge of standard English, as well as my own personal style, so I can respect that you stand your ground on that one.
[2] Comma splice.
[3] "Because of its absence".

I haven't read that book, but judging by its description, yeah, I might have to pick it up sometime.

Have you rəad[1] Slaughterhouse 5[2]?

[1] Random schwa.
[2] You gotta italicize that shit.

I have not read it, but funnily enough, I have a copy sitting adjacent to me.

Have you rəad[1] Slaughterhouse 5[2]?

[1] Random schwa.
[2] You gotta Italicize that shit.

I have not read it, but funnily enough, I have a copy sitting adjacent to me.

perfect

can you grade this essay I wrote back in 8th grade?

Spoiler

Slaughterhouse-five is widely regarded as one of the most compelling anti war novels in American literature. Presented in an unorthodox style, Vonnegut displays the illusion of free will and the futile quest to alter human nature to present the illogical reasoning behind war and humanity itself through the character Billy Pilgrim and the events in his life.
 
When browsing through Slaughterhouse-five, one of the first things the reader may notice is Vonnegut’s lax use of the concept of time. Instead of creating a linear path for the story's main character to travel through, the author fabricates jumps through Billie’s life from time of his birth to his demise and everything in between. Although never stated whether these jumps in time are simply illusions suffered from an injury sustained by Billy in the war or actual occurrences, the flexibility and seamless nullification of past, present, and future decrease the importance it holds when telling the story compared to most pieces of literature. This concept of time being irrelevant is perfectly described in chapter four when Billy watches time move forward and backwards in a world war two film. He describes the bombs being dropped traveling back up into the planes, the bullets are entering the muzzle of a gun and all the weapons used in war being taken back to the assembly line for disassembly into their base minerals which are then hid underground so no one can use them to hurt each other, while humanity strives to create two perfect people named Adam and Eve. This obscure and paralleling look of events in time aids itself in Vonnegut’s message of fate and hopeless effort to change the course of action in one’s life to reduce conflict by showing time in a different perspective, detailing a war turning into an effort of peace while still displaying the same events. This same concept of a futile stance against fate and human nature can be observed in the behavior of Paul Lazzaro, who promises to kill Billy Pilgrim for causing the death of Roland Weary. The irony of this circumstance is that Billy miraculously survives many near death experiences through the course of his life. The plane crash, the prisoner of war camp, and even the bombing of Dresden all seem to overshadow his actual demise of being assassinated by Paul’s hand. Due to the nature of time in the story Billy knows exactly when and where he will meet his end and so he can analyze how pointless his death was, dictated by a man whose actions were dictated by feelings of vengeance and pride both of which cannot justify needless killing under Billy’s perspective of the world. Billy’s death, when scaled to the size of a global conflict truly shows how pointless war is and how it can never be stopped due to human nature itself, as war is in many cases a product of human emotion.
 
Vonnegut’s use of the Tralfamadorian aliens is yet another tool used by Billy to understand the foolish outlook people have on life and the effects of this perspective. Through the teachings of the Tralfamadorians, Billy realizes that there is no possible way to change the course of history, including the tragedies and joy that are sure to come in the future. Events such as war are just as inescapable as they are unnecessary and with Billy’s newfound outlook of his life under a Tralfamadorian lens, he realizes that since violent and peaceful actions can’t be stopped, the tranquil moments should receive the most attention when recalling history. Whether or not the Tralfamadorians are just a figment of Billy’s imagination is up to the reader to decide, as Vonnegut plays between the notion of dreams and reality, sometimes mixing the two together in an effort to better understand Billy’s viewpoint of the world. Vonnegut utilizes this limelight between fantasy and reality to further his argument against free will and human nature by mixing the Tralfamadorian “teachings” with real world examples or hints of their view of the world. One such example of a Tralfamadorian message is perfectly displayed on a serenity prayer plaque in Billy’s optometry office that reads “god grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom always to tell the difference.” this prayer, although seemingly hopeful and optimistic, in reality highlights the notion that neither god nor man can change the course of history and because of this, free will is simply an illusion.


Vonnegut argument against war and the fruitless efforts in stopping it is masterfully masked within fantasy and reality in Slaughterhouse-five as we explore the life and death of Billy Pilgrim over and over again. The author successfully conjures the point that we can only see how foolish our actions as human beings are if viewed through an alien perspective. By doing away with staple factors of life such as time, Vonnegut encourages the reader to question Billy’s sanity, as his unique outlook on the world may be a result of war itself

I haven't read that book, but judging by its description, yeah, I might have to pick it up sometime.

It's hilarious. The author somehow merges a legitimate grammar guidebook with a commentary on modern language and why it's important to write properly. I haven't practiced formal writing in years, but it's largely due to that book, and the class I read it in, that I still take the time to write punctuation online.

Alright.

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But I'm not a rapper.

Spoiler

Slaughterhouse-five[1] is widely regarded as one of the most compelling anti war[2] novels in American literature. Presented in an unorthodox style[3], Vonnegut displays the illusion of free will and the futile quest to alter human nature to present the illogical reasoning behind war and humanity itself through the character Billy Pilgrim and the events in his life[4].

When browsing through Slaughterhouse-five[5], one of the first things the reader may notice is Vonnegut’s lax use of the concept of time. Instead of creating a linear path for the story's main character to travel through, the author fabricates jumps[6] through Billie’s[7] life from time[8] of his birth[9] to[10] his demise[11] and everything in between. Although never stated whether these jumps in time are simply illusions suffered from an injury sustained by Billy in the war or actual occurrences[12], the flexibility and seamless nullification of past, present, and future decrease the importance it holds when telling the story compared to most pieces of literature. This concept of time being irrelevant is perfectly described in chapter four[13] when Billy watches time move forward and backwards in a world war two[14] film. He describes the bombs being dropped traveling back up into the planes, the bullets are entering the muzzle of a gun and all the weapons used in war being taken back to the assembly line for disassembly into their base minerals which are then hid underground so no one can use them to hurt each other, while humanity strives to create two perfect people named Adam and Eve[15]. This obscure and paralleling look of events in time aids itself in Vonnegut’s message of fate and hopeless effort to change the course of action in one’s life to reduce conflict by showing time in a different perspective, detailing a war turning into an effort of peace while still displaying the same events. This same concept of a futile stance against fate and human nature can be observed in the behavior of Paul Lazzaro, who promises to kill Billy Pilgrim for causing the death of Roland Weary. The irony[16] of this circumstance is that Billy miraculously survives many near death[17] experiences through[18] the course of his life. The plane crash, the prisoner of war camp[19], and even the bombing of Dresden all seem to overshadow his actual demise of being assassinated by Paul’s hand. Due to the nature of time in the story Billy knows exactly when and where he will meet his end and so he can analyze how pointless his death was, dictated by a man whose actions were dictated by feelings of vengeance and pride both of which cannot justify needless killing under Billy’s perspective of the world[20]. Billy’s death, when scaled to the size of a global conflict truly shows how pointless war is and how it can never be stopped due to human nature itself, as war is in many cases a product of human emotion.
 
Vonnegut’s use of the Tralfamadorian aliens is yet another tool used by Billy to understand the foolish outlook people have on life and the effects of this perspective. Through the teachings of the Tralfamadorians, Billy realizes that there is no possible way to change the course of history, including the tragedies and joy that are sure to come in the future. Events such as war are just as inescapable as they are unnecessary and with Billy’s newfound outlook of his life under a Tralfamadorian lens, he realizes that since violent and peaceful actions can’t be stopped, the tranquil moments should receive the most attention when recalling history. Whether or not the Tralfamadorians are just a figment of Billy’s imagination is up to the reader to decide, as Vonnegut plays between the notion of dreams and reality, sometimes mixing the two together in an effort to better understand Billy’s viewpoint of the world. Vonnegut utilizes this limelight between fantasy and reality to further his argument against free will and human nature by mixing the Tralfamadorian “teachings” with real world examples or hints of their view of the world. One such example of a Tralfamadorian message is perfectly displayed on a serenity prayer plaque in Billy’s optometry office that reads “god grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom always to tell the difference.” this prayer, although seemingly hopeful and optimistic, in reality highlights the notion that neither god nor man can change the course of history and because of this, free will is simply an illusion.

Vonnegut[21] argument against war and the fruitless efforts in stopping it is masterfully masked within fantasy and reality in Slaughterhouse-five as we explore the life and death of Billy Pilgrim over and over again. The author successfully conjures the point that we can only see how foolish our actions as human beings are if viewed through an alien perspective. By doing away with staple factors of life such as time, Vonnegut encourages the reader to question Billy’s sanity, as his unique outlook on the world may be a result of war itself

Corrections

I won't go too hard, considering this is your eighth-grade self.

[1] I'll assume this was actually italicized in your Word document. "Five" should be capitalized, though.
[2] "Anti-war" is hyphenated, as are most terms with "anti-" at the beginning.
[3] I would add "for its time" here.
[4] I would've just ended it at "Billy Pilgrim." I also would've identified him as the protagonist.
[5] "Browsing" is a strange word choice. Makes it sound like you're reading the pages out of sequential order.
[6] "Fabricates jumps"? I know that you're using "jumps" as a noun there, but at first glance, it looks like you're committing a double verb. If you cut out "fabricates", it would sound less awkward.
[7] Misspelled "Billy" there.
[8] "From the time of his birth".
[9] Comma.
[10] Take out "to".
[11] Comma. Now, it says "the author jumps through Billy's life from the time of his birth, his demise, and everything in between."
[12] It would be better if you flipped these two items around, I think.
[13] Personally, I prefer saying "the fourth chapter".
[14] WWII should be spelled like "World War II".
[15] Kind of a long, awkward sentence.
[16] Your instructor told you to "find at least one example of irony", didn't s/he?
[17] "Near-death" is hyphenated.
[18] "Throughout".
[19] "Prisoner-of-war camp".
[20] Another run-on.
[21] "Vonnegut's".

For an essay written in the 8th grade, this wasn't half-bad. There were only four paragraphs, two or three of which were very large, making it a little bit of a slog to read through, but you supported your synopsis with extensive examples from the text, and your analysis of Vonnegut's writing style was reasonably cogent. Structurally, your biggest issue involved your sentences being a little too loquacious, but nonetheless, I can tell that a somewhat honest effort was made here to convey all your points and make the grade.

B+

Alright.[1]

[1] "All right".

Isn't grammar basically a no brainer[1], unless English isn't your first language??[2]

[1] "No-brainer".
[2] Only one question mark is necessary.

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I actually did both of those on purpose[1] cos[2] OCD[3][4] so jokes[5] on you[6]

[1] Comma.
[2] "Because". If you must shorten it, say "'cause".
[3] I presume you mean, "because of your OCD".
[4] Comma.
[5] "The joke is on you", or "the joke's on you".
[6] Full-stop.

nfa a fmif isdfgn aifnaf infwi bons iafnid ianfnka

nfa a fmif isdfgn aifnaf infwi bons iafnid ianfnka

I am not impressed by random letters.

Spoiler

Slaughterhouse-five[1] is widely regarded as one of the most compelling anti war[2] novels in American literature. Presented in an unorthodox style[3], Vonnegut displays the illusion of free will and the futile quest to alter human nature to present the illogical reasoning behind war and humanity itself through the character Billy Pilgrim and the events in his life[4].

When browsing through Slaughterhouse-five[5], one of the first things the reader may notice is Vonnegut’s lax use of the concept of time. Instead of creating a linear path for the story's main character to travel through, the author fabricates jumps[6] through Billie’s[7] life from time[8] of his birth[9] to[10] his demise[11] and everything in between. Although never stated whether these jumps in time are simply illusions suffered from an injury sustained by Billy in the war or actual occurrences[12], the flexibility and seamless nullification of past, present, and future decrease the importance it holds when telling the story compared to most pieces of literature. This concept of time being irrelevant is perfectly described in chapter four[13] when Billy watches time move forward and backwards in a world war two[14] film. He describes the bombs being dropped traveling back up into the planes, the bullets are entering the muzzle of a gun and all the weapons used in war being taken back to the assembly line for disassembly into their base minerals which are then hid underground so no one can use them to hurt each other, while humanity strives to create two perfect people named Adam and Eve[15]. This obscure and paralleling look of events in time aids itself in Vonnegut’s message of fate and hopeless effort to change the course of action in one’s life to reduce conflict by showing time in a different perspective, detailing a war turning into an effort of peace while still displaying the same events. This same concept of a futile stance against fate and human nature can be observed in the behavior of Paul Lazzaro, who promises to kill Billy Pilgrim for causing the death of Roland Weary. The irony[16] of this circumstance is that Billy miraculously survives many near death[17] experiences through[18] the course of his life. The plane crash, the prisoner of war camp[19], and even the bombing of Dresden all seem to overshadow his actual demise of being assassinated by Paul’s hand. Due to the nature of time in the story Billy knows exactly when and where he will meet his end and so he can analyze how pointless his death was, dictated by a man whose actions were dictated by feelings of vengeance and pride both of which cannot justify needless killing under Billy’s perspective of the world[20]. Billy’s death, when scaled to the size of a global conflict truly shows how pointless war is and how it can never be stopped due to human nature itself, as war is in many cases a product of human emotion.
 
Vonnegut’s use of the Tralfamadorian aliens is yet another tool used by Billy to understand the foolish outlook people have on life and the effects of this perspective. Through the teachings of the Tralfamadorians, Billy realizes that there is no possible way to change the course of history, including the tragedies and joy that are sure to come in the future. Events such as war are just as inescapable as they are unnecessary and with Billy’s newfound outlook of his life under a Tralfamadorian lens, he realizes that since violent and peaceful actions can’t be stopped, the tranquil moments should receive the most attention when recalling history. Whether or not the Tralfamadorians are just a figment of Billy’s imagination is up to the reader to decide, as Vonnegut plays between the notion of dreams and reality, sometimes mixing the two together in an effort to better understand Billy’s viewpoint of the world. Vonnegut utilizes this limelight between fantasy and reality to further his argument against free will and human nature by mixing the Tralfamadorian “teachings” with real world examples or hints of their view of the world. One such example of a Tralfamadorian message is perfectly displayed on a serenity prayer plaque in Billy’s optometry office that reads “god grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom always to tell the difference.” this prayer, although seemingly hopeful and optimistic, in reality highlights the notion that neither god nor man can change the course of history and because of this, free will is simply an illusion.

Vonnegut[21] argument against war and the fruitless efforts in stopping it is masterfully masked within fantasy and reality in Slaughterhouse-five as we explore the life and death of Billy Pilgrim over and over again. The author successfully conjures the point that we can only see how foolish our actions as human beings are if viewed through an alien perspective. By doing away with staple factors of life such as time, Vonnegut encourages the reader to question Billy’s sanity, as his unique outlook on the world may be a result of war itself

Corrections

I won't go too hard, considering this is your eighth-grade self.

[1] I'll assume this was actually italicized in your Word document. "Five" should be capitalized, though.
[2] "Anti-war" is hyphenated, as are most terms with "anti-" at the beginning.
[3] I would add "for its time" here.
[4] I would've just ended it at "Billy Pilgrim." I also would've identified him as the protagonist.
[5] "Browsing" is a strange word choice. Makes it sound like you're reading the pages out of sequential order.
[6] "Fabricates jumps"? I know that you're using "jumps" as a noun there, but at first glance, it looks like you're committing a double verb. If you cut out "fabricates", it would sound less awkward.
[7] Misspelled "Billy" there.
[8] "From the time of his birth".
[9] Comma.
[10] Take out "to".
[11] Comma. Now, it says "the author jumps through Billy's life from the time of his birth, his demise, and everything in between."
[12] It would be better if you flipped these two items around, I think.
[13] Personally, I prefer saying "the fourth chapter".
[14] WWII should be spelled like "World War II".
[15] Kind of a long, awkward sentence.
[16] Your instructor told you to "find at least one example of irony", didn't s/he?
[17] "Near-death" is hyphenated.
[18] "Throughout".
[19] "Prisoner-of-war camp".
[20] Another run-on.
[21] "Vonnegut's".

For an essay written in the 8th grade, this wasn't half-bad. There were only four paragraphs, two or three of which were very large, making it a little bit of a slog to read through, but you supported your synopsis with extensive examples from the text, and your analysis of Vonnegut's writing style was reasonably cogent. Structurally, your biggest issue involved your sentences being a little too loquacious, but nonetheless, I can tell that a somewhat honest effort was made here to convey all your points and make the grade.

B+

holy fuck verby.. you actually did it. To be truthful, I never actually read my copy of the book when this was assigned. I guess my lack of textual knowledge had been masquerading as loquacious sentences.

if I remember correctly, My teacher gave me a low 90 for this one. I think your analysis is much more accurate.. and it didn't take a week to grade.

I just remember this essay as being the assignment that sparked my procrastination spree.. I just love/hate working under pressure.     

nfa a fmif isdfgn aifnaf infwi bons iafnid ianfnka

I am not impressed by random letters.

This gives your power over me?

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this iws the worst thead every amde

Am I doing it right?

I agree with your statement.

Well there goes that.

Okay.