Perfect Grammar Thread

No[1] dad,[2] I hate being perfect.

[1] Comma after "no".
[2] Comma splice. Replace this comma with a period.

nUTTING iz rong wif mai GRAMER u NAYZI

no[1][2]

[1] Capitalization.
[2] Punctuation.

It's in the dictionary, though.

Perhaps, but I do not consider dictionaries to be the gospel. They're simply a reflection of our collective cultural vernacular. If someone wanted to be grammatically correct, "lol" would always have to be typed like "L.O.L."

This is fucking easy, are you trying to make this into a challenge?

ahahaha[1][2][3] i[4] am defying the purpose of your thread by using improper capitalization and punctuation conventions[5]

[2] If you're going to type laughter, it's generally better to begin it with "ha" instead of "ah".

it's not supposed to be regular laughter, which is spontaneous and begins with "hah"

it's more like that prideful, planned kind of laughter, y'know

nUTTING[1][2] iz[3] rong[4] wif[5] mai[6] GRAMER[7][8][9] u[10] NAYZI[11][12]

[1] "NUTTING" should be spelled "nothing".
[2] The upper/lowercase of this word should be inverted.
[3] "Iz" should be spelled "is".
[4] "Rong" should be spelled "wrong".
[5] "Wif" should be spelled "with".
[6] "Mai" should be spelled "my".
[7] "GRAMER" should be spelled "grammar".
[8] Do not randomly type in all caps.
[9] Comma after "GRAMER".
[10] "U" should be spelled "you".
[11] "NAYZI" should be spelled "Nazi".
[12] Given the tone of this sentence, perhaps an exclamation mark would be an appropriate punctuation.

You're not wrong, by the way. Your grammar here isn't bad. It's the spelling that's fucked.

This is fucking easy,[1] are you trying to make this into a challenge?

[1] Comma splice.

it's[1] not supposed to be regular laughter, which is spontaneous and begins with "hah"[2]

it's[1] more like that prideful, planned kind of laughter, y'know[2]

[1] Capitalization.
[2] Punctuation.

That is a fair point.

Lol[1]...[2]I'm surprised Verb liked this, considering it's a sentence fragment.

[1] "Lol" is not a word.
[2] Botched ellipsis.

In my opinion, the only fragments that are worth pointing out are isolated predicates. Isolated subjects are fine.

First off, acronyms aren't grammatically incorrect. And secondly, I'm actually kind of curious as to how my ellipsis was wrong there. Enlighten me?

I was forced to come here against my will, please help me.

First off, acronyms aren't grammatically incorrect. And secondly, I'm actually kind of curious as to how my ellipsis was wrong there. Enlighten me?[1]

[1] This is an imperative statement, and thus does not need a question mark.

They are when you type them like you did ("Lol"), as though it were a regular word. Ask any English professor if it's okay to say "lol" in any essay ever. It ain't gonna fly.

Ellipses are weird. Technically, they're not for emphatic pauses, as they are so often used for on the Internet.
They're for stuff like. . . uh. . . you know. . . .

Like that. It's when something (like radio static, or a mental block) is breaking up your thought, causing you to trail off. They're not for your dramatic pauses or whatever (not that I don't use them for that).

Structurally, there's supposed to be spaces in between each dot, and a fourth dot should be added if it's the end of the sentence. Really, this rule only applies to novels, where you actually have dialogue between characters and shit, so it's not like it's a terrible error or anything.

In terms of common Internet usage, the only thing you did wrong, I guess, was not put a space after it (like you're supposed to with all punctuation). So, instead of "Lol...I'm surprised", it should've been "Lol... I'm surprised".

I was forced to come here against my will,[1] please help me.

[1] Comma splice.

I find it amusing how so few people seem to know how to use commas.

I don't think my grammar is that bad, but it could use some work.

May I receive life advice with my grammar lesson?

Should I try to bang this really cute E-4 who works with the battalion S1 during AT next month? It's not fraternization since we're both lower enlisted and neither of us are in a position where one may end up in charge of the other. 

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Kill yourself.

I was forced to come here against my will,[1] please help me.

[1] Comma splice.

I find it amusing how so few people seem to know how to use commas.

Yeah, people use commas like semicolons for the most part.

May I receive life advice with my grammar lesson?

Should I try to bang this really cute E-4 who works with the battalion S1 during AT next month? It's not fraternization since we're both lower enlisted and neither of us are in a position where one may end up in charge of the other.

Please be talking about a girl.

For once I am.
I've run out of potentially bi-curious males to drink at the barracks with and create awkward situations for the remainder of their enlistment.

First off, acronyms aren't grammatically incorrect. And secondly, I'm actually kind of curious as to how my ellipsis was wrong there. Enlighten me?[1]

[1] This is an imperative statement, and thus does not need a question mark.

They are when you type them like you did ("Lol"), as though it were a regular word. Ask any English professor if it's okay to say "lol" in any essay ever. It ain't gonna fly.

Ellipses are weird. Technically, they're not for emphatic pauses, as they are so often used for on the Internet.
They're for stuff like. . . uh. . . you know. . . .

Like that. It's when something (like radio static, or a mental block) is breaking up your thought, causing you to trail off. They're not for your dramatic pauses or whatever (not that I don't use them for that).

Structurally, there's supposed to be spaces in between each dot, and a fourth dot should be added if it's the end of the sentence. Really, this rule only applies to novels, where you actually have dialogue between characters and shit, so it's not like it's a terrible error or anything.

In terms of common Internet usage, the only thing you did wrong, I guess, was not put a space after it (like you're supposed to with all punctuation). So, instead of "Lol...I'm surprised", it should've been "Lol... I'm surprised".

I came into this thread with smugness, but I actually ended up legitimately learning something. I wouldn't call this a shit-post thread, Verby.

May I receive life advice with my grammar lesson?

Should I try to bang this really cute E-4 who works with the battalion S1 during AT next month? It's not fraternization since we're both lower enlisted[1][2] and neither of us are in a position where one may end up in charge of the other.

[1] I'd put a comma there.
[2] Um... I'm not hip with military jargon, but I would assume "lower-enlisted" is hyphenated.

I don't know, man. If you think this person is into you, I say go for it, but don't let him/her distract you too much.

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo[1]

[1] Punctuation.

Hello, Verbatim.

Hello, Verbatim.

Playin' it safe, I see.

Hello, Verbatim.

Playin' it safe, I see.

Well, I couldn't think of a big, long sentence to write.

This is pretty ironic considering you use some of the worst grammar of all the users here. You used to be a stickler for it; why'd you give it up?

h,i,the,tee

This is pretty ironic[1] considering you use some of the worst grammar of all the users here.

[1] Comma.

if by "worst grammar", you mean i sometimes type like this, then you obviously don't know what bad grammar is

it's not just capitalization and punctuation--it's also subject/verb agreement, sentence structure, irregularities, and various other technicalities

looking past capitalization and punctuation, yeah, i actually have some of the best grammar on the forum

You used to be a stickler for it; why'd you give it up?

ignoring for the moment that i haven't, and that i've explained this a number of times already, but the reason i type like this sometimes is because i think it makes my posts sound more relaxed and informal

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h,i,the,tee

I'm not sure if you just hit random keys, or if there's actually some kind of hidden message in here somewhere.

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