So this happened:

> Walking down street, stop at light, wait to cross
> Notice what appears to be a pile of clothes on the other side of street
> Notice that there are two massive calves jutting out of it, crammed into tiny running shoes
> Notice the pile is jiggling, is actually not a pile of clothes, but a shitty patchwork quilt
> Light turns green
> Get closer, stomach turning over without realization
> Jiggling cause quilt to fall. Underneath is a massive wobbling testament to the power of mcdonalds
> The beast is shirtless
> Its eating a 3-4lb block of cheese, using the quilt to cover its bulk while doing so
> can't help but stare
> Its beady eyes lock with mine
> I can't look away
> It starts cursing and yelling at me
> I stare even longer
> the scent finally wafts over me as I pass by, staring. Smells like pizza, mixed with piss-stained, damp rotting carpet.
> It lumbers to its feet as I walk by
> Still yelling at me for being rude
> I walk by swiftly, narrowly avoiding its flailing arms as it tries to grab me
> the quilt falls off entirely now; its female
> Attempts to shuffle after me, stops after 10 feet, sort of crumbles to one knee
> pukes onto the sidewalk in front of me
> I still can't stop staring
> It won't stop cursing at me, spewing chunks of vomit-coated cheese
> I can't get the image out of my head
> Can't eat cheese anymore
> can't sleep. Keep thinking the thing has my scent and is slowly making its way to my house to puke cheese on my face while I sleep.

lol