no, I actually don't hate humanity. it's like, a fluctuating feeling to be honest. I always feel like I have too much of an adverse way of looking at the world on too many things to really fit into it. Like, it's so annoying how it's hard for me to not annoy everyone, you know what I mean? It's hard for other people to not annoy me. I dunno what I'm even talking about or if I'm even making sense, maybe nothing I'm thinking right now is even logical. Should I even have to be stopping to think about what I'm saying? I guess not because.. oh wait here we go. Otherwise if I were to be stopping to think about what I was saying, maybe I would catch myself saying irrational things.

Do you think that's what it really is to be stressed, is to just say some nihilistic or irrational thing in your head, and keep telling yourself the same thing until you finally tell yourself that what you're thinking is invalid or if you finally just forget about it? Because like, here's how it goes. I actually feel like I have a reason to be upset right now. I have been talking to some people, everything was going fine. This whole morning everything was going fine, I was burning incents and playing a song I'm learning. Then I started talking to people, it was difficult. One guy was a fairly cute genderqueer college person from okcupid, we talked on skype a little and he was pretty nice. Then I talked with this guy who was talking about all this stressful as fuck politics. I think that must be what made me upset.

Yeah now that I think about it, I think that was actually the thing that was causing me to feel the anxiety. I feel sort of like, a little lighter now that I realize this, you know what I mean? Because like, maybe it's not that it's difficult for me to get along with people in general, but it's just difficult because I was talking with this guy and he was talking about a lot of really stressful stuff. Because like he's not a bad guy but it was making me think about how everywhere I go people basically think I'm annoying, you know what I mean? So when I'm stressed out by this guy, it makes me think to all the people who I actually don't get along with, so I sort of give myself this irrational line of bullshit thought that tells me that I just don't get along with people in general. Because while it's true that a lot of times I just don't relate to people and I tend to get on people's nerves, I wasn't feeling that way until this other stuff happened.

The cure is dicks

Ever wish

the human race didn't exist?

and then realize

YOU'RE ONE TOO

hahaha nice reference

Pretty sure this is how Hitler started out.

our society sure does have a short attention span these days. I have actually grow to appreciate when people type out long shit. because I type so much, I appreciate when other people type stuff out.

Mr loaf, tear down this wall.

ah yes, I haven't seen a wall of text from loaf in a while