I reconnected with my parents

 
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We knew the world would not be the same.
A few people laughed, a few people cried, most people were silent.
I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad-Gita.
Vishnu is trying to persuade the Prince that he should do his duty
and to impress him takes on his multi-armed form and says,
"Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.."
I suppose we all thought that one way or another.
I figured you guys might be interested in knowing. This forum saw me through some of the worst patches of my life when I got kicked out, so I thought it'd only be fair to share for anyone who was interested.

TL;DR: I was reunited with my family after 4 years of not seeing any of them.

I started getting text messages, and for once they weren't hostile. Eventually the conversation led to my dad offering me a new phone, because mine wasn't working as well as it used to. I didn't even ask, he just asked what kind of phone I had and how well it was preforming, then asked if I was thinking of upgrading soon. I told him that I didn't have the budget and that I still liked my phone even if it wasn't performing the same way it used to because I enjoyed my Note 4 and the utility the stylus provided. I had only owned smart phones with them, so I'd have a hard time using a phone without one. He offered a brand spanking new Galaxy Note 8 which had just come out. "Aren't those phones almost a thousand dollars right now?" He said he found a BOGO deal, and that maybe he could get one for himself too. Immediately my reaction was heavy skepticism, why the hell was he offering me such an expensive phone? I was weary of potential ulterior motives, but I said fuck it. What was he going to do after giving me the phone? Threaten to take it away? He had nothing, and I felt no attachments. So why not? I could benefit from a new phone, and if I didn't really want it or felt weird about the interaction, I could sell for a pretty decent chunk of cash.

So a month or so later after the phone shipped and our schedules aligned, I went to the electronics store we decided to meet at, where they also had the phone case I'd want for it in stock. I didn't realize how nerve wracking this shit would be until I walked through the doors of the store when it hit me. When I spotted him my heart rate spiked so I ducked into another isle and composed myself. I orbited the isle he was in probably about 3 times slowly acclimating myself before I finally approached, and I realized I had the advantage that he didn't recognize me at all to get noticed while doing so.

When I finally worked up the confidence and walked up to him, he was staring at the phone cases and off handedly talking to an employee who went to go search for something. On my drive over he had asked what kind of case I would want, so I sent him the link and told him they should have it in stock. He was standing right in front of it, but had two different cases in his hands. When the employee walked away I came forward and grabbed the case I said I wanted, and as casually as I could said "I think this is the case you were looking for" flipping it over to read the description on the back. He must've thought I was an employee or something at first because he looked over saying "Oh yeah?" and then stuttered upon looking over towards me. "I...wow. I didn't even realize you were right next to me" Somehow his obvious nervousness made me significantly more comfortable, it was almost as though there was a power shift right in that moment. My father had never been the type to show weakness and vulnerability, and right there for a brief moment I had the upper hand and full control of the situation. "Yeah, I realized you didn't recognize me when you looked at my direction and didn't see me, so I figured I might be able to catch you by surprise" He seemed pretty off guard and told me I looked good, asked for a hug, and then we spent probably the next 10-15 minutes awkwardly talking about phone cases and drop tests, and then just phones in general. I couldn't shake the thought that he felt completely spineless. I don't know why, but it wouldn't get out of my head. The power dynamic was gone, and I felt weirdly confident.

The phone was in the car, he said. So we went to the cash register and paid for the case. They didn't have the tempered glass that would be compatible, so I told him not to worry about it and that I'd buy it off Amazon. He insisted, I said don't worry it's fine. We talk outside the store a bit, and he keeps saying in a surprised tone how I looked healthy. I wasn't really sure what he was implying so I said "Yeah actually I'm easily the healthiest I've ever been in my life, I don't think I've ever felt as good as I do now" he even went to the extent of complimenting my facial hair saying it's better than anything he could grow and was even a bit jealous, and we talked about facial hair for a little while before he said "Okay this is a really weird thing to talk about with you" which irked me a bit but I guess I understood why. "It's only weird because you made it weird" he sort of makes this thoughtful hmph sound and goes to his car to gets the phone, which he hands over with $500. He invited me to lunch, and then we went home.

A few weeks later he asks me how I like the phone, and he tells me how much he's enjoying his. I get invited for dinner at Christmas Eve and he tells me my great grandmother would be there. It took several weeks of thinking about it, and ultimately I agreed to it because I knew I'd probably never forgive myself if I said no to my last opportunity to see my great grandmother. I made it clear that my only terms be that they call me by my legal name and accepted me as their son, and that I would leave and never come back if things turned ugly again. He agreed to the terms.

It was agreed that I'd ride the train halfway down and get picked up from the station. I didn't really anticipate how uncomfortable and nerve-wracking the drive down would be. My father was one thing, but my mother was another. I had no idea what to expect. But nothing really happened. We got there, I was welcomed inside, and there was a weird rush of nostalgia.

My dad's hair is going grey, and something that struck me was how much I looked and sounded like him. My mother's voice oddly sounded much higher pitched than I remembered but that could've just been my perception out of whack since my voice dropped quite a lot. My sister was the same, just older and liked wine a lot. One of the dogs died, and the one who was "my" dog had gone mostly blind, mostly deaf, and barely reacted to seeing me at all. It was really bittersweet since back then the hardest thing about leaving was leaving behind my dog who I had raised since she was a puppy. When she was placed in my lap she kind of just...laid down and went to sleep. It's like she wasn't even the same dog anymore. The third dog, who was my "sister's" dog, was actually extremely excited to see me, but I think seeing how much the dogs aged plus my dad's grey hair made me reflect and realize just how long I'd been gone.

My great grandmother arrived with my grandfather, and they greeted me. Nothing happened. There were no weird questions, no offhand comments. A few accidental slip-ups, but they were immediately followed up with an apology and correction. I had no idea how to react. Who the hell are these people and what did they do to my parents? Seriously, what the fuck happened? I had to of been there for 5 or 6 hours before I finally asked "So did you have any questions?"

We've met a few times since then, mostly for lunch of dinner. Honest to god I had no idea how to cope for a while. I still don't, but since Christmas we've had more serious conversations and they feel sorry. I'm not sure what happened but obviously something made them shift pretty dramatically, because they sure as hell aren't the rabid evangelical control freaks they were when I left. I told them about what I had been doing with myself the last few years, my experience being homeless, all the different people I met and lived with, and my hundreds upon hundreds of hours volunteering for various organizations. They said they failed as parents and that they were proud of me.

That's been my last few months. It's strange and I'm still trying to figure out how to feel about it. Since then they've helped me out with a few things, like picking me up and getting my bike repaired after I got hit by a car who was driving recklessly, and paying for a personal trainer.

So yep.
That's my blog post.


 
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We knew the world would not be the same.
A few people laughed, a few people cried, most people were silent.
I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad-Gita.
Vishnu is trying to persuade the Prince that he should do his duty
and to impress him takes on his multi-armed form and says,
"Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.."
I suppose we all thought that one way or another.
Now let's find out if I regret posting this or not lmao


Casper | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Toys are hereby declared:
ILLEGAL
IMMORAL
UNLAWFUL
 anyone found with a TOY in his possession will be
placed under ARREST and thrown in the DUNGEON!
No kidding!               🅱
the fuck? I'm not reading all of that


 
challengerX
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
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Ásgeirr | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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The angel agreed to trade a set of white wings for the head of another demon. Overjoyed, the demon killed one of his own and plucked the head right off its still-warm body.

The angel then led the demon to heaven, where he underwent centuries of the cruelest tortures imaginable. Finally, the pain was so great that he lost consciousness - at which point his dark wings turned the promised shade of white.
Well, certainly better with family than i am. Seeing family members after a long time is hard but its good to see you pulled through.


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People change Nuka. Not all, but most sane people do.

It took your parents 4 years to realize that, and they realized what they did was wrong, so they owned up to it.

I firmly believe everything happens for a reason. What the reason is we will never know. I am glad that they owned up to their shit though. I recall when you used to tell me over Skype how much hell they gave you. Let's hope that hell never comes back. Ever.
Last Edit: March 11, 2018, 11:17:34 AM by Deci


 
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
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they realized what they did was long


Thanks for being my personal spellcheck


 
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We knew the world would not be the same.
A few people laughed, a few people cried, most people were silent.
I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad-Gita.
Vishnu is trying to persuade the Prince that he should do his duty
and to impress him takes on his multi-armed form and says,
"Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.."
I suppose we all thought that one way or another.
I firmly believe everything happens for a reason.
Aren't you an atheist?


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I firmly believe everything happens for a reason.
Aren't you an atheist?

I don't believe in god so yes.

You know, I'd think you'd at least reply with sincerity to me instead of nitpicking what I write, but I guess some things never change.
Last Edit: March 11, 2018, 11:32:27 AM by Deci


 
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
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We knew the world would not be the same.
A few people laughed, a few people cried, most people were silent.
I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad-Gita.
Vishnu is trying to persuade the Prince that he should do his duty
and to impress him takes on his multi-armed form and says,
"Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.."
I suppose we all thought that one way or another.
You know, I'd think you'd at least reply with sincerity to me instead of nitpicking what I write, but I guess some things never change.
lmao fuck off I don't owe you anything


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You know, I'd think you'd at least reply with sincerity to me instead of nitpicking what I write, but I guess some things never change.
lmao fuck off I don't owe you anything

I'm legit trying to be nice to you dude.

I'm tired of you holding a grudge on me. Let that shit go.

they realized what they did was long


Thanks for being my personal spellcheck
1v1 me

1v1 someone else.


Super Irish | Legendary Invincible!
 
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If I'm not here, I'm doing photography. Or I'm asleep. Or in lockdown. One of those three, anyway.

The current titlebar/avatar setup is just normal.
That's seems like the best situation of a bad start, and it's nice to hear they are reconnecting with you. I dunno what I would do if my parents just dropped me.

Hopefully it won't feel so weird in the end.
Last Edit: March 11, 2018, 11:53:53 AM by Doug


 
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We knew the world would not be the same.
A few people laughed, a few people cried, most people were silent.
I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad-Gita.
Vishnu is trying to persuade the Prince that he should do his duty
and to impress him takes on his multi-armed form and says,
"Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.."
I suppose we all thought that one way or another.
That's seems like the best situation of a bad start, and it's nice to hear they are reconnecting with you. I dunno what I would do if my parents just dropped me.

Hopefully it won't feel so weird in the end.
It's the strangest fucking feeling, I don't even know how to describe it. The fact that I didn't even know how to cope with how nice they were for weeks after Christmas speaks volumes to me. It's great don't get me wrong, but it's just so foreign coming from them. I had long come to terms and accepted that they were terrible people and that I didn't need them in my life.

I told them too, one of the times we met up for lunch I kind of just unloaded at them and they just sat there and took it. It's unreal.
Last Edit: March 11, 2018, 12:03:20 PM by ಠ_ಠ


Super Irish | Legendary Invincible!
 
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If I'm not here, I'm doing photography. Or I'm asleep. Or in lockdown. One of those three, anyway.

The current titlebar/avatar setup is just normal.
That's seems like the best situation of a bad start, and it's nice to hear they are reconnecting with you. I dunno what I would do if my parents just dropped me.

Hopefully it won't feel so weird in the end.
It's the strangest fucking feeling, I don't even know how to describe it. The fact that I didn't even know how to cope with how nice they were for weeks after Christmas speaks volumes to me. It's great don't get me wrong, but it's just so foreign coming from them. I had long come to terms and accepted that they were terrible people and that I didn't need them in my life.

I told them too, one of the times we met up for lunch I kind of just unloaded at them and they just sat there and took it. It's unreal.

Maybe it's just regaining the lost feeling that people (specifically family) have your back, or love you. Kinda like how abused animals are wary of caring owners for a while and just expect bad to come from it, idk.

I guess it's therapeutic to unload a bit, but given what happened and what's happening now, I wouldn't bit the hand that feeds too hard.

Good luck to you anyways.


 
 
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theaetherone.deviantart.com https://www.instagram.com/aetherone/

Long live NoNolesNeckin.

Ya fuckin' ganderneck.
It's just really strange to me that your family would've done that to you. My family is very big on sticking with each other no matter how we turn out. I would probably be dead if it wasn't for my grandmother helping me out during these last few years of battling health problems and not being able to live a normal life.

Even my drug addicted, thieving, felon cousin who lost her kids is still treated as family, as much as we all may hate what she's become, and given help from her dad when she really needs it. (Even though we all agree he needs to be a lot tougher on her, as he enabled her to go down the terrible road she did.)

Hearing stories like yours makes me extremely grateful for my family, even if they drive me crazy sometimes. It's nice to hear that yours is warming up to you again. Family needs to stick together as best they can, even if they don't like each other the best.
Last Edit: March 11, 2018, 12:52:50 PM by Aether


 
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
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I firmly believe everything happens for a reason.
Aren't you an atheist?
you don't need to be an atheist to believe something like that, really

everything really does happen for a reason—it's just not always a good reason, or the reason might be, "some stupid motherfucker decided to get really drunk one night because his life is garbage and he decided to ruin someone else's"

that's the reason it's a non-statement, but i suppose the implication is that everything happens for a grand purpose

which of course is silly and ridiculous in a different way, but that's never how i personally read the message


 
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also congratulations


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I firmly believe everything happens for a reason.
Aren't you an atheist?
you don't need to be an atheist to believe something like that, really

everything really does happen for a reason—it's just not always a good reason, or the reason might be, "some stupid motherfucker decided to get really drunk one night because his life is garbage and he decided to ruin someone else's"

that's the reason it's a non-statement, but i suppose the implication is that everything happens for a grand purpose

which of course is silly and ridiculous in a different way, but that's never how i personally read the message

I second that.

For me, if certain events didn't take place, I wouldn't be where I am right now, I wouldn't have the job that I have, the trip I've had, my upcoming trip that I'm going to have, the guitar I'll be making from spare parts, you get the idea.


 
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but like

no shit


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I neither fear, nor despise.
After knowing how things were originally for the longest time, I'm glad they showed some change. Maybe things will work out in the end.


R o c k e t | Mythic Smash Master
 
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I neither fear, nor despise.
I firmly believe everything happens for a reason.
Aren't you an atheist?

I don't believe in god so yes.

You know, I'd think you'd at least reply with sincerity to me instead of nitpicking what I write, but I guess some things never change.

Could've been a serious question ya know


 
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The Rage....
thats nice to hear. glad its going well.


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Excuse me, I'm full of dog poison
I also am glad too, as well.



 
 
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