Posting in serious because my reputation on here doesn't exactly inspire confidence that I'll get serious replies elsewhere.

I have a very, very hard time talking to people that I don't know when I'm not accompanied by someone I do know, and because of that, I have a hard time making new friends without existing ones around to help. Recently, I was finally able to come out of my shell, and this last summer has been the best time of my life because of it. I had dozens of friends, and like 8 close ones, and it was a great fucking experience. It took four years of high school (and a lot of weed) for me to get to a point where I felt truly and confidently happy.

But now I'm losing it. I moved into my dorm on Thursday, and my roommate ended up being a senior. He's a French exchange student with a thick accent and a broken grasp of English. He's a nice guy, he's always polite and friendly, but I can tell that he has no interest in being anything than an acquaintance (and I don't blame him; I doubt I'll want to be friends with a freshman during my senior year either). I probably shouldn't have, but I was betting on getting a decent roommate who would open doors to more friendships, but that just isn't happening. The closest friend (in proximity) to me is over two hours away, and my family is about four. I feel utterly isolated and alone, and it's crushing.

These past few days have been the hardest in my life. My roommate spends a lot of time out of the dorm (and he's stayed out very late every night so far), thankfully, so he hasn't seen me sob for the half an hour I have been every night. I half expected this to happen, so I bummed some clonazepam off of my sister before I left, and I've been taking a tab every night to calm me down and force me to sleep. It's that bad.

I don't know what to do. My parents have paid a LOT of money for me to be here, and while my mom knows that I'm having a crushingly hard time, but she says I need to stick out the semester, at least. My friends, all at other universities, are finding their ways. I've been talking to them, and it seems like their success has all stemmed from having decent roommates. I'm thinking about switching dorms, but I can't do that until after the class drop/add period ends, which is in like two weeks.

I can't continue like this. I'm gonna lose it, and I can see myself doing something I really don't want to do if this continues. I need your guys' advice. What can I do to make friends? How can I work on my social anxiety, and my people skills? How can I make myself feel better?

you're a comp sci major right?

Double majoring in statistics, yes.

It's going to sound extremely fucking cliche, but join a damn club.

I want to, but, as great as my school is, it sucks at advertising its clubs and organizations. I wouldn't even know where to begin looking for something to join.

Join a club, that's honestly the best way to meet people.

If you ever need someone to talk to, you can talk to me. I used to be in a situation where I was always alone and I know how bad it feels.

Quote from: rc on August 23, 2015, 01:37:04 PM

Quote from: Icy Wind on August 23, 2015, 01:33:19 PM

Quote from: rc on August 23, 2015, 01:32:25 PM

Quote from: Icy Wind on August 23, 2015, 01:30:40 PM

Quote from: rc on August 23, 2015, 01:29:30 PM

Quote from: Icy Wind on August 23, 2015, 01:27:40 PM

It's going to sound extremely fucking cliche, but join a damn club.

I want to, but, as great as my school is, it sucks at advertising its clubs and organizations. I wouldn't even know where to begin looking for something to join.

Does your class have a Facebook page - as in, a "Class of 2019" page or whatever? If there is, a good chunk of the time clubs and events will advertise there.

Check out the SUB as well.

It does, but I deactivated my Facebook account a while ago. I guess reactivating it and joining the group is worth a try, thanks.

And what's SUB?

The Student Union Building (Where I'm from, we just say SUB).

It's kind of the center of a university - a lot of them have food courts or the bookstore there, along with where people advertise clubs and such.

Oh, okay. Yeah, we have one, but I haven't been since orientation. It has a food court and bookstore, but not much else for students to do. If clubs are advertised there, I don't know where.

Just watch for posters going up on the walls, or look for a bulletin board. Guarantee they'll be there

Alright, thanks, I will. Sucks that I'll feel this way for a while, though.

Quote from: rc on August 23, 2015, 01:40:06 PM

Quote from: SoporificSlash on August 23, 2015, 01:33:18 PM

Quote from: rc on August 23, 2015, 01:26:47 PM

Quote from: SoporificSlash on August 23, 2015, 01:25:39 PM

you're a comp sci major right?

Double majoring in statistics, yes.

i'd say make friends with people in your classes but in my experience most of the people in my comp sci classes were total sperglords and if that's true for you their social anxiety is probably even worse. But if you can spot a few people that look like normies just chat them up. Ask trivial shit like what was the homework assignment, shit like that. Honestly it is fucking tough and there's not a whole lot that anyone can say that will help it. Many of your classes whether they're your major or not will inevitably make you group up for a project and honestly that's where i've made a lot of my friends and acquaintances in college thus far. There's also an assload of clubs and organizations, find one that suits your interests and join it. That's what college is all about to me is finding people that actually share similar interests. Those people that didn't exist in high school. Once you find someone with similar interests and find some common ground its way easier to make friends with that person.

I'm kind of worried about the CS thing, too. I'm not ugly, but I'm no model either (and I'm insecure as shit about my looks), so the fact that I can confidently say that I was the most normal-looking, attractive person sitting in the CS section of the engineering convocation is worrisome.

I've actually made more friends outside of my major classes as opposed to within. Its taken me a year but I think I'm up to 4 friends in my comp sci class. Two of them are jocks (they're actually really smart though). However I think I've made about 10 different friends in my non major classes. For instance Comp 1 last year he made us set at group tables of 4 and I, inevitably because of the way we sat, became really good friends with those 3 people. This is also related to the fact that there simply isn't much group work in comp sci classes so you'll never be forced to talk to them, you have to take your own initiative.

The thing you'll encounter when sitting next to people is that there's usually someone that will initiate conversation with you and that to me was always easier because my biggest problem is being the one to make the initial connection with someone.

My first class is at noon tomorrow (calc 2 whoop), so I'll see how it goes.

Oh yeah I've never lived on campus so I can't relate to you 100%. I've always gotten to come home to my family and hometown at the end of the day. But I'm moving to my own apartment (off campus but still only 5 blocks from campus) by myself in October so I imagine I might experience something similar.

You'll be happy you live so close to them.

Quote from: DAS WAIFUMEISTER x2 on August 23, 2015, 01:50:58 PM

Join a club.
Become the socially awkward male MC of every SoL rom-com anime ever.

oh fuck that just reminded me my little university in rural oklahoma has a fucking anime club

like what the fuck

Lol, I got an email over the summer from the university about a minecraft club. I nearly shat my pants laughing.

The easiest place to make friends in college is obviously at parties but that's probably not an option for you yet. If you have a pretty social dorm, it should be easy to become friends with the other people on your floor. This is how all of my friends who got shitty roommates made friends.

It's basically impossible to form any serious friendships in classes and I don't know much about clubs but I don't know anyone that have made good friends from clubs either unless they went on a big event with the club which was basically a huge party.

As far as social anxiety goes, I don't know what to say. Just keep trying to work on it I guess.