I'm fine now

Solonoid | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Knees go weak, and I swoon, underneath the pallid moon.
Praise the night, and praise the night!
The only time I feel alright.
This is evidence there's a God. I take back everything I said about this site needing to be shut down. As long as Verbatim reports on his pain to this website, it deserves to exist.
i still don't really know what's causing this vitriol towards me

pretty much everyone who's once disliked me has either gotten over it, or has decided i'm not so bad after all (whether they're right or not, it's what always happens)

the worst thing i could possibly have done to you is say something you dislike, either because it was mean, or simply because you disagreed with it

i think there's a case to be made for me "deserving" what i'm going through right now, but if i do, it's certainly not for whatever i've posted on the internet

i can say that i wouldn't wish what i'm currently going through on even my least favorite user of this website
the only things you don't deserve to come your way are positive

my single greatest desire in life is for you to suffer

I hope that in that way, I am very much like God


MarKhan | Heroic Unstoppable!
 
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Apathy is death
This is evidence there's a God. I take back everything I said about this site needing to be shut down. As long as Verbatim reports on his pain to this website, it deserves to exist.
i still don't really know what's causing this vitriol towards me

pretty much everyone who's once disliked me has either gotten over it, or has decided i'm not so bad after all (whether they're right or not, it's what always happens)

the worst thing i could possibly have done to you is say something you dislike, either because it was mean, or simply because you disagreed with it

i think there's a case to be made for me "deserving" what i'm going through right now, but if i do, it's certainly not for whatever i've posted on the internet

i can say that i wouldn't wish what i'm currently going through on even my least favorite user of this website
Sol just doesn't want to let down your expectations for humans in general
Last Edit: March 11, 2019, 07:30:31 AM by MarKhan


FatherlyNick | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Hey.
I came here from b.net after a few Floods invited me. None of them post on either b.net nor here anymore, which is sad. I was still active on b.net until for some bizarre reason, b.net admins locked out people who have not played Destiny. Even if you wanted to post on the offtopic section. After that, I fully moved here and have not returned to b.net since.
Please come play Halo with me.
Hope you will pass them without much pain and I also wish you lots of health in general.


 
Jono
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Goodness gracious, great balls of lightning!
I'm scared to pee now after reading through this thread


 
Carmen
| Creator of Hot Brown Morning Potion
 
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I am Carmen, this world is Carmen, and everything IN IT is Carmen!
A drug gave me the courage to do what I never ever would've done sober. Can you honestly still cling to your "all drugs are bad" viewpoint knowing this? Again - not trying to get on your nerves or anything, really just trying to see how your logical process works.
the problem is that you can't really know that

i like to think that if i, of all people, with all my neuroticisms and mental issues with severe depression, social anxiety, sweeping misanthropy, an intense hatred of 99% of shit in general to the point where i'm not even comfortable breathing or inhabiting my own skin (last night, when i was in pain, i spent some time contemplating my own heartbeat, and how much it disgusted me), can still abstain from almost all drug and alcohol use and still be in a position where i'm content enough with my existence to better myself (at my own pace), then i honestly believe in my heart of hearts that fucking anybody can

to claim otherwise, i think, would be to claim that i'm somehow special, or an inherently stronger person than average, and i just don't think that's the case (as flattering as that would be)

so honestly yeah, i still don't think your drug abuse is all that helpful—i'm sure believing so feels validating in some way, and i guess that's fine, and it's great that you have this newfound courage

i just refuse to believe that you never could've attained it sober, and i think you have a bit of confirmation bias going on
I think I have it much worse than you. You don't know how hard it is to have this disease. Every day it's all I can think about, and I have to distract myself with TV, video games, social stuff (attention whoring), or drugs, or else I spiral and go crazy with depression and self-hate. Why don't you think it's helpful? Don't you notice a change in me at all? Why do you refuse to believe I couldn't have gained this newfound confidence sober? I really couldn't have.

This is evidence there's a God. I take back everything I said about this site needing to be shut down. As long as Verbatim reports on his pain to this website, it deserves to exist.
i still don't really know what's causing this vitriol towards me

pretty much everyone who's once disliked me has either gotten over it, or has decided i'm not so bad after all (whether they're right or not, it's what always happens)

the worst thing i could possibly have done to you is say something you dislike, either because it was mean, or simply because you disagreed with it

i think there's a case to be made for me "deserving" what i'm going through right now, but if i do, it's certainly not for whatever i've posted on the internet

i can say that i wouldn't wish what i'm currently going through on even my least favorite user of this website
the only things you don't deserve to come your way are positive

my single greatest desire in life is for you to suffer

I hope that in that way, I am very much like God
You're fucking disgusting. You're a worm, not God. You're beneath us all - certainly beneath even me, and that's fucking saying something. Get some mental help please.


 
Verbatim
| Komm, süßer Tod
 
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I think I have it much worse than you. You don't know how hard it is to have this disease. Every day it's all I can think about, and I have to distract myself with TV, video games, social stuff (attention whoring), or drugs, or else I spiral and go crazy with depression and self-hate. Why don't you think it's helpful? Don't you notice a change in me at all? Why do you refuse to believe I couldn't have gained this newfound confidence sober? I really couldn't have.
i highly doubt that you have it "worse" (or "better") than me, but that wasn't really my point anyway, because it's not a contest and it's not productive to gatekeep people's suffering like that

you talk about having to do these things "or else you will" spiral and go crazy with depression and self-hate

you know, kinda like what i've been doing for the past 10 years? which you apparently haven't experienced yet

and guess what: STILL not doing drugs, STILL not an alcoholic

i'm not trying to boast about this or anything, just the opposite--it's not difficult for me in spite of my circumstances, so it shouldn't be difficult for anyone else, and i really don't care who you are

the only exceptions might be if you have fetal alcohol syndrome, or maybe were born an addict because your mother was a junkie, in which case i'd have to concede that you were literally fucked from the beginning
Last Edit: March 12, 2019, 09:49:05 AM by Verbatim


FatherlyNick | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Hey.
I came here from b.net after a few Floods invited me. None of them post on either b.net nor here anymore, which is sad. I was still active on b.net until for some bizarre reason, b.net admins locked out people who have not played Destiny. Even if you wanted to post on the offtopic section. After that, I fully moved here and have not returned to b.net since.
Please come play Halo with me.
I'm scared to pee now after reading through this thread


And never pee again.


Batch | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Get some protein in ya boy


 
Verbatim
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Get some protein in ya boy
i already get more than enough

apparently protein is why you might get stones in the first place

what i need is water
Last Edit: March 12, 2019, 08:27:36 PM by Verbatim


Batch | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Get some protein in ya boy
i already get more than enough

it actually doesn't help and makes things worse

what i need is water
I know you eat plenty of beans.

But yeah honestly I think you need maybe 2-3L a day? I dont know what itll be like coming out, RIP dude.


FatherlyNick | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Hey.
I came here from b.net after a few Floods invited me. None of them post on either b.net nor here anymore, which is sad. I was still active on b.net until for some bizarre reason, b.net admins locked out people who have not played Destiny. Even if you wanted to post on the offtopic section. After that, I fully moved here and have not returned to b.net since.
Please come play Halo with me.
Is there not like a penis plunger that can help succ the stones out?


 
Verbatim
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Is there not like a penis plunger that can help succ the stones out?
No

there's something called laser lithotripsy which was previously alluded to, but it's only performed on patients where the stone is larger than 5mm and would thus be extremely damaging (or outright impossible) to pass

since it involves shoving a device up your urethra, i'm pretty happy it won't be necessary with me


 
Verbatim
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there's also shockwave therapy where they use a fancy machine to break the stone externally using sound waves or some shit, but that is also reserved for medium-sized stones and would be very expensive

passing it manually is painful but free
Last Edit: March 13, 2019, 08:51:58 PM by Verbatim


 
DAS B00T x2
| Cultural Appropriator
 
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This is not the greatest sig in the world, no. This is just a tribute.
sorry but I just need to do this when I read something new in this thread

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


Dietrich Six | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Excuse me, I'm full of dog poison
How goes it verb?


 
Verbatim
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one thing i neglected to mention during my initial visit to the hospital is that they found several cysts all over my kidneys, and they also found one in my prostate

it's actually normal to have maybe one or two cysts on your kidneys, and prostatic cysts are common as well, it's not really a big deal

the problem is that i have several, and the one on my prostate is as big as a fucking golf ball

so i'm seeing a nephrologist for that, because while cysts are rarely malignant, the fact that i have so large and so many of them is very concerning (they never once mentioned cancer during my prognosis, but i have a hunch that it's only because they don't want me to get scared—having kidney stones is a symptom of renal cancer)

during this visit i will have (another) CAT scan that will actually take contrast (color) images this time, so i'll be able to know for sure what these things are doing to me, and whether i should be more worried for them than i am about my kidney stones

i just have one question about that: why the FUCK did they not just take contrast images in the first place? i didn't ask them because i didn't want to seem like a pedantic or insolent smart-ass or whatever, but goddamn that bugged the shit out of me

so anyway, back to the kidney stones

it turns out that if i don't pass them by the 22nd, they're gonna shove a rod up my cock and blast it themselves—it's a process they put you in anesthesia for, but it seems lately that all my biggest nightmares have been coming true (get your dick out, solonoid)

right now, i am experiencing some pretty intense pain in my groin (to where i cannot sit still or do anything besides wait for it to end), and i'm not allowed to take any painkillers containing aspirin on any of the seven days before my scheduled surgery—that mean no ibuprofen—i can take my hydrocodone, which is supposed to be my "good" drug, but i'm only allowed to have one pill every 24 hours

well i took it an hour ago and it hasn't done shit so i guess i'm just fucked for the day

for perspective i started typing this message an hour and 45 minutes ago

i'm also allowed to take tylenol, but it says on the bottle to not take it with drugs that have acetaminophen, which hydrocodone does
Last Edit: March 15, 2019, 10:15:03 AM by Verbatim


Batch | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Dont wanna be that guy, but do you know anyone that can supply you with weed? Preferably butter, put that shit into brownies and itll seriously help with the pain.



 
Elai
| Gay Tupac
 
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male, he/him

dracula can eat my whole ass!
jeez that sounds brutal. hopefully its nothing too serious.


 
Verbatim
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Dont wanna be that guy, but do you know anyone that can supply you with weed? Preferably butter, put that shit into brownies and itll seriously help with the pain.
100% out of the question outside of a prescription


 
DAS B00T x2
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This is not the greatest sig in the world, no. This is just a tribute.
fucking AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA my dude


 
Verbatim
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just had throes of pain bad enough to leave work a couple hours early and tremble in my bed for those two hours instead

i wonder if the pain is really as bad as i think, or if i'm just a baby

whatever the case, somehow, my dogs knew to leave me the fuck alone when i got home

i love my dogs
Last Edit: March 15, 2019, 02:56:32 PM by Verbatim


Ásgeirr | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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The angel agreed to trade a set of white wings for the head of another demon. Overjoyed, the demon killed one of his own and plucked the head right off its still-warm body.

The angel then led the demon to heaven, where he underwent centuries of the cruelest tortures imaginable. Finally, the pain was so great that he lost consciousness - at which point his dark wings turned the promised shade of white.
Its been compared to giving birth so its most likely as bad as you think


Solonoid | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Knees go weak, and I swoon, underneath the pallid moon.
Praise the night, and praise the night!
The only time I feel alright.
I love this.

It's like Christmas for me.


Doctor Doom | Mythic Invincible!
 
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the one true God is Doctor Doom and we should all be worshiping him.
Any progress?

also hey i didn't know you work, what do you do


 
Verbatim
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Any progress?

also hey i didn't know you work, what do you do
i've passed two very tiny fragments of stone, so... whatever that means, and the number of sleepless nights i've been experiencing has noticeably increased, so perhaps i'll get lucky and pass it before the operation, but i'm not gonna get all excited about that

clerk and assistant manager of my dad's record shop

not getting paid monetarily, but work is work
Last Edit: March 17, 2019, 03:39:58 PM by Verbatim


Mmmmm Napalm | Legendary Invincible!
 
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No disintegrations!
Hope you get better :(


 
Verbatim
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didn't pass shit, as far as i'm aware

it's possible that it broke down and i just didn't feel it, but the doctors need confirmation and i don't have any

so i'm getting probed tomorrow


Doctor Doom | Mythic Invincible!
 
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the one true God is Doctor Doom and we should all be worshiping him.
at least you'll be numbed up and it's not like you were planning to do anything with your dick anyway

also review more anime


 
Verbatim
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so i got my cock probed

it went fine, extracted the stone and be able to figure out what it's made out of within the next couple days

i was only a little sore when i woke up from the anesthesia

for the next couple weeks, i have a stent in my ureter (it's a little uncomfortable), so i'm gonna be pissing blood for a little while, but other than that, i'm feeling fine

i still have a stone in my right kidney, but it hasn't been giving me grief, so i'm not worried about it

my second CAT scan has been pushed back two months, which pisses me off a little, because i desperately want to know what these cysts are, but it can't be helped
Last Edit: March 22, 2019, 03:06:27 PM by Verbatim


 
Elai
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male, he/him

dracula can eat my whole ass!
hopefully the worst is behind you.