I'm posting this on my alt simply because I would like to remain anonymous. I'm using TOR so even the mods don't know who I am. I'm doing this because I'm not saying what I'm about to say for attention or pity I just simply would like to vent it out so here we go.

I was having a lot of trouble sleeping lately and I didn't want to go to the doctor to get prescribed some sleeping pills so I took it upon myself to just take about 10 or so PM pain relievers, well it did a lot more than make me sleepy. The active ingredient in these over the counter pain pills is Diphenhydramine which in large doses, like in almost all drugs, can cause adverse side affects. I began to get a feeling of euphoria and have vivid hallucinations. I would be talking to people that weren't there or simply zoning out for an hour or 2 and not even be able to remember the last 2 hours. Well it did indeed make me sleep once I got past those side affects. So I continued to take them and get basically high. And of course I continue to become more and more resistant to them to where we are now. I now take on average 20-30 pills every night each containing 25 mg of Diphenhydramine. So that comes out to 500-750 mg of diphenhydramine. Now that's quite a fucking lot and I can honestly say I've become addicted. I love the euphoric feeling I get from them and the fact they help my rampant insomnia. So I don't know what to do really. Whether I should tell someone, whether I should actually get prescribed to some proper sleeping pills, I just don't know. And if you doubt the potency of diphenydramine just read some of the experience people have from here https://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=49192

You may just look at this post and think "Wow this guy is really addicted to pain relievers? fuckinglol" but it's a seriously fucked up drug.

But there it is.

I'm disappointed, Class.

Yeah consulting a bunch of internet circlejerkers won't help

Go to a doctor

Hmm i wonder what would have happened if i took more than one anti dep.

Please don't.

I didn't want to go to the doctor

Mistake #1.

This hasn't gotten any better, life just seems to be spiraling downward. The other day I didn't allow enough time for the high to wear off and I went to school and it just made me feel like a total piece of shit. Not to mention I drove all the way to college and back while under the influence and could have easily killed someone. I just don't know what to do. If I go to the doctor I'm pretty sure it's going to show up on my parent's health insurance and I just can't allow that to happen. My whole family will probably disown me if they knew how badly I was abusing drugs.

It's not like they aren't legal drugs, and you started using them for a totally legitimate reason. Why don't you tell your family as well as seeing a doctor? Surely they will be supportive, and if they are not fuck them, because they should be.