The title of my post is misleading. I already knew people are fuсking idiots.

So apparently someone shared my Moto 360 Unboxing video to Reddit and it got a bunch of views overnight. Of course, with bunches of views come bunches of stupid comments.

Now, for those of you who were not aware, that video is intentionally shitty and obviously a joke. I used the shittiest camera I could find and I intentionally misinformed my viewers about aspects of the watch. None of my videos are serious in the slightest, in case you've not been able to tell.

So my video got a few stupid comments about how "No, the watch is actually stainless steel" and how my video is shitty because I focused heavily on a piece of foam I found in the box. I know it's stainless steel, idiots. It literally says so right on the back of the watch:



I swear to fuсking Juses Crust that in order for something to be seen as satire, you literally have to put the phrase "THIS IS SATIRICAL/A JOKE" right in the goddamn title. It's obviously a parody of shitty unboxing videos and nobody got it because I'm a genius and nobody can see on the same plane of existence as me.

In case you have no goddamn clue what I'm talking about, watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdI1k_CuGZI

You expected something from YouTube comments?

You expected something from YouTube comments?

I know they're shitty, but I didn't expect them to be that shitty.

Quote from: Yutaka on October 21, 2014, 10:14:55 AM

People how comment on youtube videos aren't always the smartest of people.

How comment on the youtubes?

Fixed.

Quote from: TheOneTrueDesticle on October 21, 2014, 10:13:38 AM

Quote from: Flee on October 21, 2014, 10:12:42 AM

So does this mean you're getting the other watch out of the garbage to give to me?

I'm wearing that one right now. I took the other one back to Best Buy. It's a long story.

I'm stuck in an exceptionally boring class right now. A long story sounds welcome at this point.

It's not actually a long story, it's just embarassing.

So the Moto 360 comes out and I basically came in my Motorola-branded pajama pants over it because Motorola makes my dick rock hard. Of course, since I have infinite money, I rushed out to buy one immediately, but couldn't because literally every store sold out of them immediately. Sadface.

Cut to two weeks ago when the 360 became available in Motorola's store again. I order one and the fucking thing tells me it'll take a full 9 days to get here. Fuck you very much, Moto. This is in part due to the fact that I ordered on a Friday at 2030 or so, so the damn thing won't ship until the next weekday

So anyway, I wait a few days for the following Monday before my friend tells me Best Buy has 360s in stock. Of course, I rush over there immediately and pick one up. I just figure I'll return the watch which was being shipped to me after it arrived.

I get home from Best Buy to see a package on my doorstep from Motorola. I ordered a Moto X and a Moto 360 from them, so I figured that this package is probably my Moto X since the 360 has to take an additional week to ship. So I take the box inside, open that fuсker up and guess what! It's my fuсking 360 (Note that at this time, I still don't have my Moto X even though the 360 shipped in theoretically less than one business day. The actual fuсk).

So a day or two goes by and I get horrible food poisoning. On one of the days I'm home sick, I decide to make that unboxing video and the rest is history. I eventually decided to just return my old watch to Best Buy as I liked the black one Moto sent me better.

And that's the whole damn thing.

A watch should not require a charger....

It only has a 300 milliamp-hour battery. It needs to be charged daily, although luckily the charger takes the form of a cute little stand that turns it into a digital clock. Look at how adorable this thing is:

Quote from: TheOneTrueDesticle on October 21, 2014, 10:22:59 AM

Quote from: Flee on October 21, 2014, 10:15:03 AM

Quote from: TheOneTrueDesticle on October 21, 2014, 10:13:38 AM

Quote from: Flee on October 21, 2014, 10:12:42 AM

So does this mean you're getting the other watch out of the garbage to give to me?

I'm wearing that one right now. I took the other one back to Best Buy. It's a long story.

I'm stuck in an exceptionally boring class right now. A long story sounds welcome at this point.

[the story]

9/10 would read again. Not that embarrassing. Got your Moto X yet?

I mentioned in the story that I do not have it yet.

It's embarrassing because I ended up with two of the same damn thing and I forgot to mention that Moto wouldn't let me cancel my order.

Quote from: True Turquoise on October 21, 2014, 10:29:46 AM

Quote from: The Waifu Master on October 21, 2014, 10:27:36 AM

Quote from: True Turquoise on October 21, 2014, 10:20:40 AM

Fixed like signs.

On the way to the bus stop Bill saw somebody he recognized walking towards him but he couldn't remember his name. He began to think of things to say when they'd be close enough to acknowledge each other. As they drew nearer their eyes locked, uncertain if the other was going to stop to talk.
    The person greeted Bill as Bill mixed up the phrases "What's up" with "How's it going". Confused, the person blurted out "Thanks." before he knew what he was saying. Words caught in Bill's throat and he replied "Wey.". They did a sort of awkward half turn and then continued on confident that the other was not going to stop to talk.
     They never saw each other again and a day later had each forgotten the whole thing.

Is this some dumb way to imply that I act like I don't know you anymore?

That night Bill sat down and put on a big sweater but it only made him sleepy.
In the super market Bill was always very careful to select fruit from only the back of the produce piles as the fruit in the front was at crotch level to the other customers.

What the fuсk is going on here?

Quote from: TheOneTrueDesticle on October 21, 2014, 10:33:20 AM

Quote from: The Waifu Master on October 21, 2014, 10:32:47 AM

Quote from: True Turquoise on October 21, 2014, 10:29:46 AM

Quote from: The Waifu Master on October 21, 2014, 10:27:36 AM

Quote from: True Turquoise on October 21, 2014, 10:20:40 AM

Fixed like signs.

On the way to the bus stop Bill saw somebody he recognized walking towards him but he couldn't remember his name. He began to think of things to say when they'd be close enough to acknowledge each other. As they drew nearer their eyes locked, uncertain if the other was going to stop to talk.
    The person greeted Bill as Bill mixed up the phrases "What's up" with "How's it going". Confused, the person blurted out "Thanks." before he knew what he was saying. Words caught in Bill's throat and he replied "Wey.". They did a sort of awkward half turn and then continued on confident that the other was not going to stop to talk.
     They never saw each other again and a day later had each forgotten the whole thing.

Is this some dumb way to imply that I act like I don't know you anymore?

That night Bill sat down and put on a big sweater but it only made him sleepy.
In the super market Bill was always very careful to select fruit from only the back of the produce piles as the fruit in the front was at crotch level to the other customers.

What the fuсk is going on here?

Probably from a book or some shit..

An old man who smelled of gasoline held up an onion and said, "Big onion." to no one in particular. He smiled at Bill and Bill looked at his socks.
At the checkout counter Bill found himself behind a big guy who's t-shirt read, "2nd place is the first loser".
The checkout girl said, "How are you doing today?" Bill said, "Fine, thanks. How are you?" She didn't answer. Bill felt used.