I don't appreciate your ruse, ma'am.

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โ€”โ€”Carmen
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[An indecisive customer holds up two movies] Are either of these any good?

[Randal ignores her and continues reading the newspaper]

Sir!

What.

Are either of these any good?

I don't watch movies.

Well, have you heard anything about either of them?

No.

You've never heard anybody say anything about either movie?

I find it's best to stay out of other people's affairs.

[Puts movies down and hesitates, before picking them back up] Well, how about these two movies?

They suck.

I just held up the same two movies. You're not even paying attention.

No, I wasn't.

I don't think your manager would appreciate -

I don't appreciate your ruse, ma'am.

I beg your pardon!

Your ruse. Your cunning attempt to trick me.

I only pointed out that you weren't paying any attention to what I was saying.

And I hope it feels good.

You hope what feels good?

I hope it feels so good to be right. There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?

[The indecisive customer wears a face that belies utter disbelief in the audacity of this most lackadaisical video clerk. The unmoving newspaper illustrates the total disinterest of the news-hungry Randal. The indecisive customer shakes her head in disgust and throws the movies back onto the wall.]

Well this is the last time I ever rent here...


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Hey what do you want to be when you grow up


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And every employee at every store ever said.

Good.


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Signature goes here.
God I love Clerks, I miss the TV show too, shame it didn't last long....


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
โ€”Judge Aaron Satie
โ€”โ€”Carmen
YouTube

You're spending - what? Twenty, thirty dollars a week on cigarettes?

Forty.

Fifty-three.


Fifty-three dollars. Tell me, would you pay someone that much money every week to kill you? Because thatโ€™s what youโ€™re doing now, by paying for the so-called privilege to smoke!

We all gotta go sometime...

Itโ€™s that kind of mentality that allows this cancer-producing industry to thrive! Of course weโ€™re all going to die someday, but do we have to pay for it? Do we have to actually throw hard-earned dollars on a counter and say "Please, please, Mister Merchant of Death, sir; please sell me something that will give me bad breath, stink up my clothes, and fry my lungs"?

It's not that easy to quit...

[Gestures to Dante] Of course it's not; not when you have people like this mindless cretin so happy and willing to sell you nails for your coffin!

Hey, now wait a sec...

Now he's going to launch into his rap about how he's just doing his job; following orders. Friends, let me tell you about another bunch of hate mongers that were just following orders: they were called Nazis! And they practically wiped a nation of people from the Earth...just like cigarettes are doing now! Cigarette smoking is the new Holocaust, and those that partake in the practice of smoking or sell the wares that promote it are the Nazis of the nineties! He doesn't care how many people die from it! He smiles as you pay for your cancer sticks and says, "Have a nice day."

I think you'd better leave now.

You want me to leave? Why? Because somebody's telling it like it is? Somebody's giving these fine people a wake-up call?!

You're loitering in here, and causing a disturbance.

You're the disturbance, pal! And here - [slaps a dollar on the counter] - I'm buying some...what's this?...Chewlie's Gum. There. I'm no longer loitering. I'm a customer, a customer engaged in a discussion with other customers.

Yeah, now shut up so he can speak!

Oh, he's scared now! He sees the threat we present! He smells the changes coming, and the loss of sales when the nonsmokers finally demand satisfaction. We demand the right to breathe cleaner air!

Yeah!

We'd rather chew our gum than embrace slow death! Let's abolish this heinous practice of sucking poison, and if it means ruffling the feathers of a convenience store idiot, then so be it!

That's it, everybody out.

We're not moving! We have a right, a constitutional right, to assemble and be heard!

Yeah, but not in here.

What better place than this? To stamp it out, you gotta start at the source!

Like I'm responsible for all the smokers!

The ones in this town, yes! You encourage their growth, their habit. You're the source in this area, and we're going to shut you down for good! For good, cancer-merchant!

[The small crowd begins to chant and jeer in Dante's face.]

Cancer merchant!
Cancer merchant!
Cancer merchant!


[Veronica enters and surveys the mess. The crowd throws cigarettes at Dante, pelting him in the face. Suddenly, a loud blast is heard, and white powder explodes over the throng. Everyone turns to face Veronica as she stands in one of the freezer cases, holding a fire extinguisher.]

Who's leading this mob?

[The crowd looks among themselves. Someone points to the activist.]

That guy.

[The activist carries his briefcase surreptitiously toward the door.]

Freeze. [points fire extinguisher at the activist] Let's see some credentials.

[He reluctantly pulls out a business card and hands it to her.]

You're a Chewlie's Gum representative?

[He nods.]

And you're stirring up all this antismoking sentiment to what? Sell more gum?

[He nods again.]

Get out of here. [she turns to the crowd] And you people: Don't you have jobs to go to? Get out of here and go commute.

[The crowd sheepishly exits, one by one, offering apologetic glances. Dante tries to regain his composure. Veronica watches the crowd disperse, disgusted.]

You ought to be ashamed of yourselves. Easily led automatons. Try thinking for yourselves before you pelt an innocent man with cigarettes!

[Veronica sets the fire extinguisher down next to Dante. Dante is sitting on the floor, head in his folded arms.]

It looked like Tiananmen Square in here for a second.

[As the last of the crowd shuffles out, one of the ex-mobbers approaches the counter, embarrassed.]

Pack of reds.

You have got to be kidding me.
Last Edit: June 10, 2017, 01:27:05 AM by Annie


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
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โ€”โ€”Carmen


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
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โ€”โ€”Carmen
God I love Clerks, I miss the TV show too, shame it didn't last long....
it's honestly so good

YouTube


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
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โ€”โ€”Carmen


 
challengerX
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
This user has been blacklisted from posting on the forums. Until the blacklist is lifted, all posts made by this user have been hidden and require a Sep7agon® SecondClass Premium Membership to view.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
โ€”Judge Aaron Satie
โ€”โ€”Carmen
Hahaha what a kike show
jews are the superior race


 
challengerX
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
This user has been blacklisted from posting on the forums. Until the blacklist is lifted, all posts made by this user have been hidden and require a Sep7agon® SecondClass Premium Membership to view.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
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โ€”โ€”Carmen


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
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โ€”โ€”Carmen
bump