I've been thinking a lot about death

Loaf · February 02, 2015, 07:39:56 PM

I know that it would be insane to actually try to end your own life because that goes against basic human instinct. I have been thinking though that for me I really don't want to die and I think I am kind of scared of dying. I also think that my life has become hopeless though. My mom and I have been fighting a lot. She is taking me to colorado and now that we're here we realized that this was a mistake. I am stuck here with her and she just keeps yelling at me. I have no will to ight anymore. I just feel completely drained and I cannot sleep. This new laptop that i just got alrady has burned out kys on th kyboad. Some o the letters that i typ don't sho up cae the keys aren't sensitive enough. This is my only computr that i was suppoed to use in the move bcause I lft my esktop at home.

There is nowhere for me. I can't live a succesful school career. talking to everyone else they just say that when I talk about epressing stuf t just drags them down. So here I am supposed to be on my own and all I an do is think about how inedibly tired I am of living at all. It's all my mom's fault and that stupi fucker says that she's epressed right now and continues to yell at me and I just want to beat the ever loving shit out o hr. I haven't slept for 2 days and I have an xtreme anxiety attack yesterday where I tried weed for the first time and I literally ouldn't speak or move and it lasted for 8 hours. now the nxt day my mom is here yelling at me and tlling me it is my ault or causing all hr stress.

SecondClass · February 02, 2015, 07:40:51 PM

Literally no one cares.

DAS B00T x2 · February 02, 2015, 07:43:51 PM

I've been thinking to...

I think I need another drink.

Spoiler

YouTube

Assassin 11D7 · February 02, 2015, 07:44:02 PM

Sorry to hear about all that. I don't know what to tell you, I just hope it gets better for you.

Elegiac · February 02, 2015, 07:45:25 PM

You alwayyys hurt the ones you luv, so ayyybe u luv urself

Korra · February 02, 2015, 07:45:58 PM

my daily dose of pessimism

gats · February 02, 2015, 07:46:03 PM

same.

ಠ_ಠ · February 02, 2015, 07:46:15 PM

Do something about it then.

clum clum · February 02, 2015, 07:46:57 PM

CRAWWLLLINGGGGG INNNN MYYYY SKINNNN

THESE WOUNDSSSS THEY WILLL NOT HE-AL

Elai · February 02, 2015, 07:47:17 PM

If you want to kill yourself, there's nothing wrong with that. It's your right by life that you can choose death.

Just remember that by ending your suffering, you push it onto others. There are always people you care about, and IMO, it's quite selfish to end your life when life will do it for you eventually.

George RR Martin said it best, "Death is so final, but life is full of possibilities."

I understand where you're coming from. I'm in a somewhat similar situation, (this feeling of being lost, not sure what's the point of living anymore, etc.) What keeps me alive is those who care about me. Yeah, your mom may yell at you and be abusive, but think how painful it would be when she realises that you killed yourself because of her? That might cause her to kill herself, which affects so many more people (her parents, significant other, perhaps other children, etc.)

We all have our burdens to bear. Some more than others. That's all I'm going to say.

Coomer · February 02, 2015, 07:48:57 PM

Well I'm two months ahead of where you are and I'm still alive so at least you still got time :]

Doctor Doom · February 02, 2015, 07:55:35 PM

I was about to make a serious response but then I saw your avatar.

Elai · February 02, 2015, 07:58:20 PM

Quote from: Lord Keksworth on February 02, 2015, 07:55:35 PM

I was about to make a serious response but then I saw your avatar.

That was on my mind too, but I decided to post anyways because I know a lot of people go through stuff like this. My post was more of an open-ended response to everyone who is feeling this way.

TheOneTrueDesticle · February 06, 2015, 03:50:18 PM

FYI Loaf has been offline for four days now.

Mat Cauthon · February 06, 2015, 03:52:29 PM

Quote from: TheOneTrueDesticle on February 06, 2015, 03:50:18 PM

FYI Loaf has been offline for four days now.

Your point?

Ender · February 06, 2015, 03:53:55 PM

Quote from: TheOneTrueDesticle on February 06, 2015, 03:50:18 PM

FYI Loaf has been offline for four days now.

well then

OT: is it just me or does anyone else find it weird that Loaf didn't get any spelling errors until AFTER he said his keyboard was broken?

Jim · February 06, 2015, 04:08:29 PM

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