I'm seriously thinking about becoming a rapper.

Lord Starch | Ascended Posting Rampage
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: Lord Starch
IP: Logged

1,292 posts
 
I'm about to go in.

This is the beginning I have yet to perfect my wordplay
I care not what you say, I turn the cheek like messiah
The dash reads 100 I'm coming up faster than China
I spit so much I might need to see a dentist, my ego is titanium you cannot dent this
You cannot win this, you niggas are sloppy like a French kiss
I didn't want want to drop a nuke but I see they want to make me MAD
This is very sad, a question was all that I had, they say I am a cancer and now I will break bad

I want the throne like Caesar, I rise above like Jesus on Easter
I have holy rhymes, a divine grind, an ill mind I hop, son
I hate how people take shots like they have an automatic gun
I can see myself with an agent, all of you to me are agents
I'm in the Matrix, I am the one thus you cannot hide or run

Oh my god I'm in for the attack from all of these haters
My rhymes will blow your mind and have you breathing heavy like chronic masturbators
OMG I cook I'm like a baker, fuck all of you haters, you guys are so fruity like cheap Now and Laters
Please do me a favor and just sign a waiver cause you will be bodies, please go pray to your savior
God damn I'm colder than February, I say again you I will bury
I am the grim reaper your fate is scary, my bars so heavy this weight you cannot carry

Fuck being nice I'll pop off a massacre, I'll storm you like ISIS I hit you with lightning, this will be a disaster
OMG I'm more precise than complex chemistry, fuck dominoes I am the king of delivery
They focus on the small lines and ignore the ill bars, it's sick, I'm like Tony Montana I read this shit and my eye is scared

I have yet to see a decent reply because it's something yall don't got
I guess you listened when your mama said don't touch fire, I am too hot.
Last Edit: August 06, 2015, 08:59:56 PM by Lord Starch


Naoto | Legendary Invincible!
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: Naoto
IP: Logged

3,822 posts
{zzz}°°°( -_-)>c[_]
b8ed breath.


Epsira | Legendary Invincible!
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam: interiminitiator
ID: Epsira
IP: Logged

4,041 posts
 


Thun | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam: Thunder
ID: Suarez
IP: Logged

9,084 posts
 


Naoto | Legendary Invincible!
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: Naoto
IP: Logged

3,822 posts
{zzz}°°°( -_-)>c[_]
I SAID B8ED BREATH MOTHER FUCKER.
...

didn't see the edit. Use a new post next time so I get notifications. Make me search for this stuff.
Last Edit: August 06, 2015, 08:58:41 PM by Naoto


Lord Starch | Ascended Posting Rampage
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: Lord Starch
IP: Logged

1,292 posts
 


Lord Starch | Ascended Posting Rampage
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: Lord Starch
IP: Logged

1,292 posts
 
I SAID B8ED BREATH MOTHER FUCKER.
...

didn't see the edit. Use a new post next time so I get notifications. Make me search for this stuff.
My bad, mane. I thought it was nice to have at the top of the page.


Girl of Mystery | Mythic Unfrigginbelievable!
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: TheBritishLemon
IP: Logged

23,485 posts
A flower which blooms on the battlefield
lol

you can't rhyme agent with agents

just stop


 
DAS B00T x2
| Cultural Appropriator
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: DAS B00T x2
IP: Logged

36,870 posts
This is not the greatest sig in the world, no. This is just a tribute.
My rhymes will blow your mind and have you breathing heavy like chronic masturbators
Umm... guy... we don't breathe heavy. Our bodies are conditioned to the act quite well.


Lord Starch | Ascended Posting Rampage
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: Lord Starch
IP: Logged

1,292 posts
 
lol

you can't rhyme agent with agents

just stop
That's all you got? Stay bodied.


Girl of Mystery | Mythic Unfrigginbelievable!
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: TheBritishLemon
IP: Logged

23,485 posts
A flower which blooms on the battlefield
Stay bodied?
I don't get it.


Jive Turkey | Mythic Invincible!
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: Jive Turkey
IP: Logged

6,895 posts
 
Stay bodied?
I don't get it.
You're getting bodied by an internet rapper


Girl of Mystery | Mythic Unfrigginbelievable!
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: TheBritishLemon
IP: Logged

23,485 posts
A flower which blooms on the battlefield
Stay bodied?
I don't get it.
You're getting bodied by an internet rapper
I'm not though


R o c k e t | Mythic Smash Master
 
more |
XBL: Rocketman287
PSN:
Steam: Rocketman287
ID: Rocketman287
IP: Logged

23,350 posts
I neither fear, nor despise.
huh


 
challengerX
| custom title
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: challengerX
IP: Logged

40,836 posts
I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
I feel like you guys are the same person...
Ask any admin. I have no alts.

You, however, are the same person as Lapice who is also an alt. so whoever you are you have two alts and a whole lot of free time.


 
 
Mr. Psychologist
| Imperial Forum Ninja
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: Mr Psychologist
IP: Logged

17,326 posts
<.<
I let the beat drop like old people with polio.


Desty | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: DTEDesty
IP: Logged

9,178 posts
 
I let the beat drop like old people with polio.
I hang dogs from trees so that I can raise the ROOF


 
 
Mr. Psychologist
| Imperial Forum Ninja
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: Mr Psychologist
IP: Logged

17,326 posts
<.<
I let the beat drop like old people with polio.
I hang dogs from trees so that I can raise the ROOF
Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road?
Spoiler
Because it was disabled


Desty | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: DTEDesty
IP: Logged

9,178 posts
 
I let the beat drop like old people with polio.
I hang dogs from trees so that I can raise the ROOF
Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road?
Spoiler
Because it was disabled
the doctors say I have a disease,
but I find that really fucking hard to believe


 
challengerX
| custom title
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: challengerX
IP: Logged

40,836 posts
I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
I'm about to go in.
Stop

Quote
This is the beginning I have yet to perfect my wordplay
And you never will lol

Quote
I care not what you say, I turn the cheek like messiah
Then wrote a wall of text that barely rhymes like the messiah

Quote
The dash reads 100 I'm coming up faster than China
China's growth is bullshit.

Quote
I spit so much I might need to see a dentist,
what

Quote
my ego is titanium you cannot dent this
"I'm humble but also have a huge ego and I need to go to the dentist"

Quote
You cannot win this, you niggas are sloppy like a French kiss
LOL

Quote
I didn't want want to drop a nuke but I see they want to make me MAD
Semi decent

Quote
This is very sad, a question was all that I had, they say I am a cancer and now I will break bad
Cringy

Quote
I want the throne like Caesar, I rise above like Jesus on Easter
So you start with this

Quote
I have holy rhymes, a divine grind, an ill mind I hop, son
I hate how people take shots like they have an automatic gun
And the next two end in the "un" sound? Try actually saying this out loud, it doesn't flow and sounds terrible.

Quote
I can see myself with an agent, all of you to me are agents
I'm in the Matrix, I am the one thus you cannot hide or run
Apart from how weak and generic this part is, you should aim to start your own company like a lot successful rappers are doing now so you don't get shafted.

Quote
Oh my god I'm in for the attack from all of these haters
This barely makes sense. And stop saying "oh my god".

Quote
My rhymes will blow your mind and have you breathing heavy like chronic masturbators
What's your style supposed to be? Joke kiddy bullshit like Eminem or what? Ideally you should be doing your own thing but your rhyming is out of whack that you don't really have a style or a certain way your shit flows.

Quote
OMG
Stop

Quote
I cook I'm like a baker,
Bakers bake. They don't cook. Weak wordplay.

Quote
fuck all of you haters,
We heard you the first 10 times.

Quote
you guys are so fruity like cheap Now and Laters
The idea behind this one is meh but the way you wrote is so lame.

Quote
Please do me a favor and just sign a waiver cause you will be bodies,
Say this one out loud. It's too long, doesn't make sense, and sounds like you're talking.

There's a reason rappers rap like "I be doing bla bla bla" even though they're articulate and know "I be" is incorrect English. It just sounds better.

Quote
please go pray to your savior
LOL

Do you realize how short this line is in comparisons to the last 3, and especially in comparison to the one it's supposed be rhyming with? Not only that, you keep changing your rhythm.

Quote
God damn I'm colder than February, I say again you I will bury
Yeah see this is what happens when you listen to Drake.

Quote
I am the grim reaper your fate is scary, my bars so heavy this weight you cannot carry
This is seriously the weakest stuff I've ever heard.

Quote
Fuck being nice I'll pop off a massacre, I'll storm you like ISIS I hit you with lightning, this will be a disaster
Oh boy where do I begin.

Massacre doesn't rhyme with disaster. If anything you should've had something along the lines of "natural disaster" of your next word was going to be "storm".

ISIS and lightning don't rhyme. At all. And again the whole thing just sounds terrible. It doesn't flow.

Also, who exactly is your target audience? Nazis and Islamic extremists? Why can't you say "I'm like a bomb/natural disaster" instead of "I'm like Adolf/ISIS". It just shows you come up with the wackiest shit because you have nothing people can relate to because you're basically rapping out a violent fantasy and you've never been around enough violence to be able to paint a good picture through a rap.

Try something else.

Quote
OMG


Quote
I'm more precise than complex chemistry, fuck dominoes I am the king of delivery
Slightly better here, but again it's just nonsense that kinda rhymes.

Quote
They focus on the small lines and ignore the ill bars, it's sick,
When 80% to 90% of your lines suck, the whole thing sucks.

Quote
I'm like Tony Montana I read this shit and my eye is scared
Fucking what

Quote
I have yet to see a decent reply because it's something yall don't got
I guess you listened when your mama said don't touch fire, I am too hot.
Basically sounds like you're talking here.

Stop making these pathetic diss songs. Try writing something from the heart and try to tell a story, and work on your wordplay. And I mean REALLY work on your wordplay. Try matching it to a good beat and post the lyrics and the beat.

If you can do that and you show improvement and that you can actually deliver a message to people and paint a picture with your rhymes? Then you should consider that you can rap. Otherwise? You stink.


 
Mat Cauthon
| Ravens
 
more |
Chally, I think you're being rused.

If not, well good for you OP.


 
challengerX
| custom title
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: challengerX
IP: Logged

40,836 posts
I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
Chally, I think you're being rused.

If not, well good for you OP.
How can I be rused if I'm offering advice.


Lord Starch | Ascended Posting Rampage
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: Lord Starch
IP: Logged

1,292 posts
 
I'm about to go in.
Stop

Quote
This is the beginning I have yet to perfect my wordplay
And you never will lol

Quote
I care not what you say, I turn the cheek like messiah
Then wrote a wall of text that barely rhymes like the messiah

Quote
The dash reads 100 I'm coming up faster than China
China's growth is bullshit.

Quote
I spit so much I might need to see a dentist,
what

Quote
my ego is titanium you cannot dent this
"I'm humble but also have a huge ego and I need to go to the dentist"

Quote
You cannot win this, you niggas are sloppy like a French kiss
LOL

Quote
I didn't want want to drop a nuke but I see they want to make me MAD
Semi decent

Quote
This is very sad, a question was all that I had, they say I am a cancer and now I will break bad
Cringy

Quote
I want the throne like Caesar, I rise above like Jesus on Easter
So you start with this

Quote
I have holy rhymes, a divine grind, an ill mind I hop, son
I hate how people take shots like they have an automatic gun
And the next two end in the "un" sound? Try actually saying this out loud, it doesn't flow and sounds terrible.

Quote
I can see myself with an agent, all of you to me are agents
I'm in the Matrix, I am the one thus you cannot hide or run
Apart from how weak and generic this part is, you should aim to start your own company like a lot successful rappers are doing now so you don't get shafted.

Quote
Oh my god I'm in for the attack from all of these haters
This barely makes sense. And stop saying "oh my god".

Quote
My rhymes will blow your mind and have you breathing heavy like chronic masturbators
What's your style supposed to be? Joke kiddy bullshit like Eminem or what? Ideally you should be doing your own thing but your rhyming is out of whack that you don't really have a style or a certain way your shit flows.

Quote
OMG
Stop

Quote
I cook I'm like a baker,
Bakers bake. They don't cook. Weak wordplay.

Quote
fuck all of you haters,
We heard you the first 10 times.

Quote
you guys are so fruity like cheap Now and Laters
The idea behind this one is meh but the way you wrote is so lame.

Quote
Please do me a favor and just sign a waiver cause you will be bodies,
Say this one out loud. It's too long, doesn't make sense, and sounds like you're talking.

There's a reason rappers rap like "I be doing bla bla bla" even though they're articulate and know "I be" is incorrect English. It just sounds better.

Quote
please go pray to your savior
LOL

Do you realize how short this line is in comparisons to the last 3, and especially in comparison to the one it's supposed be rhyming with? Not only that, you keep changing your rhythm.

Quote
God damn I'm colder than February, I say again you I will bury
Yeah see this is what happens when you listen to Drake.

Quote
I am the grim reaper your fate is scary, my bars so heavy this weight you cannot carry
This is seriously the weakest stuff I've ever heard.

Quote
Fuck being nice I'll pop off a massacre, I'll storm you like ISIS I hit you with lightning, this will be a disaster
Oh boy where do I begin.

Massacre doesn't rhyme with disaster. If anything you should've had something along the lines of "natural disaster" of your next word was going to be "storm".

ISIS and lightning don't rhyme. At all. And again the whole thing just sounds terrible. It doesn't flow.

Also, who exactly is your target audience? Nazis and Islamic extremists? Why can't you say "I'm like a bomb/natural disaster" instead of "I'm like Adolf/ISIS". It just shows you come up with the wackiest shit because you have nothing people can relate to because you're basically rapping out a violent fantasy and you've never been around enough violence to be able to paint a good picture through a rap.

Try something else.

Quote
OMG


Quote
I'm more precise than complex chemistry, fuck dominoes I am the king of delivery
Slightly better here, but again it's just nonsense that kinda rhymes.

Quote
They focus on the small lines and ignore the ill bars, it's sick,
When 80% to 90% of your lines suck, the whole thing sucks.

Quote
I'm like Tony Montana I read this shit and my eye is scared
Fucking what

Quote
I have yet to see a decent reply because it's something yall don't got
I guess you listened when your mama said don't touch fire, I am too hot.
Basically sounds like you're talking here.

Stop making these pathetic diss songs. Try writing something from the heart and try to tell a story, and work on your wordplay. And I mean REALLY work on your wordplay. Try matching it to a good beat and post the lyrics and the beat.

If you can do that and you show improvement and that you can actually deliver a message to people and paint a picture with your rhymes? Then you should consider that you can rap. Otherwise? You stink.
Much respect for this advice. I needed it, and I'll use it.