Quote from: Super Irish on May 22, 2021, 03:43:12 AMQuote from: Jono on May 22, 2021, 03:11:37 AMQuote from: ಠ_ಠ on May 21, 2021, 04:03:27 PMQuote from: Dietrich Six on May 21, 2021, 08:08:50 AMYou guys caught me at the very tail end of a major depressive episode so you didn't get to see that much of who I used to be.More or less the same case for a lot of people here. Probably why it became such a cesspool, if you think about it. This has never really been a healthy community.That's why sometimes I worry about the people that vanished from this place without warning and never came back. If they were battling their inner demons I just hope that they managed to get better and find happiness. If leaving this site was for the better for them then I hope they're all doing okay.You never know, this place could have been the source of sone their misery.Maybe leaving it freed them.We made of guys like RomanGladiator a lot for his unfortunate outcomes then one day he vanished and never came back, all without warning too. This guy had the absolute worst luck if all of his stories ended up being legitimate. I hope that he finally found a girl that loves him and is living happily wherever he is. Haven’t heard from other guys like Boomdeyadah either for a while, he even left my discord channel and I haven’t seen him on Xbox when we would always play the MCC together. Hope he’s doing alright too.
Quote from: Jono on May 22, 2021, 03:11:37 AMQuote from: ಠ_ಠ on May 21, 2021, 04:03:27 PMQuote from: Dietrich Six on May 21, 2021, 08:08:50 AMYou guys caught me at the very tail end of a major depressive episode so you didn't get to see that much of who I used to be.More or less the same case for a lot of people here. Probably why it became such a cesspool, if you think about it. This has never really been a healthy community.That's why sometimes I worry about the people that vanished from this place without warning and never came back. If they were battling their inner demons I just hope that they managed to get better and find happiness. If leaving this site was for the better for them then I hope they're all doing okay.You never know, this place could have been the source of sone their misery.Maybe leaving it freed them.
Quote from: ಠ_ಠ on May 21, 2021, 04:03:27 PMQuote from: Dietrich Six on May 21, 2021, 08:08:50 AMYou guys caught me at the very tail end of a major depressive episode so you didn't get to see that much of who I used to be.More or less the same case for a lot of people here. Probably why it became such a cesspool, if you think about it. This has never really been a healthy community.That's why sometimes I worry about the people that vanished from this place without warning and never came back. If they were battling their inner demons I just hope that they managed to get better and find happiness. If leaving this site was for the better for them then I hope they're all doing okay.
Quote from: Dietrich Six on May 21, 2021, 08:08:50 AMYou guys caught me at the very tail end of a major depressive episode so you didn't get to see that much of who I used to be.More or less the same case for a lot of people here. Probably why it became such a cesspool, if you think about it. This has never really been a healthy community.
You guys caught me at the very tail end of a major depressive episode so you didn't get to see that much of who I used to be.
Quote from: ಠ_ಠ on May 22, 2021, 12:38:46 PMQuote from: Super Irish on May 22, 2021, 03:43:12 AMQuote from: Jono on May 22, 2021, 03:11:37 AMQuote from: ಠ_ಠ on May 21, 2021, 04:03:27 PMQuote from: Dietrich Six on May 21, 2021, 08:08:50 AMYou guys caught me at the very tail end of a major depressive episode so you didn't get to see that much of who I used to be.More or less the same case for a lot of people here. Probably why it became such a cesspool, if you think about it. This has never really been a healthy community.That's why sometimes I worry about the people that vanished from this place without warning and never came back. If they were battling their inner demons I just hope that they managed to get better and find happiness. If leaving this site was for the better for them then I hope they're all doing okay.You never know, this place could have been the source of some their misery.Maybe leaving it freed them.ಠ_ಠ noiseswhiny cunt. jkI never got into any serious drama here, but then I suppose it would be because I'm not very "different" or controversial in any way either. For what it's worth, I'm regret not jumping in for anyone's defence which has contributed to this about as much as the cruel things that were said.I still don't know what draws Anarchy has - I think my only thread there was recently (last year lol) asking what it's purpose was. I don't care for shitting on people I barely know for absolutely no reason, and I've got all the weird porn I could find on the internet rather than here at the mercy of someone else's... tastes...I hope you get better, in all manners.Quote from: Jono on May 22, 2021, 05:32:24 AMQuote from: Super Irish on May 22, 2021, 03:43:12 AMQuote from: Jono on May 22, 2021, 03:11:37 AMQuote from: ಠ_ಠ on May 21, 2021, 04:03:27 PMQuote from: Dietrich Six on May 21, 2021, 08:08:50 AMYou guys caught me at the very tail end of a major depressive episode so you didn't get to see that much of who I used to be.More or less the same case for a lot of people here. Probably why it became such a cesspool, if you think about it. This has never really been a healthy community.That's why sometimes I worry about the people that vanished from this place without warning and never came back. If they were battling their inner demons I just hope that they managed to get better and find happiness. If leaving this site was for the better for them then I hope they're all doing okay.You never know, this place could have been the source of sone their misery.Maybe leaving it freed them.We made of guys like RomanGladiator a lot for his unfortunate outcomes then one day he vanished and never came back, all without warning too. This guy had the absolute worst luck if all of his stories ended up being legitimate.Oh man that fucking guy, I forgot about his escapades lol.I get what you mean, there's no real way to confirm the stories of most of us here without risking exposing ourselves to further ridicule (Deci springs to mind). Then there's the older ones who dropped off the map like Dustin (banned), or the rich kid BC1096 (or whatever the numbers were). I remember he had his Snapchat up here and he posted a for a few years and then around the time he stopped coming here, his posts there stopped too. Wonder what he'd be posting now with shit like GME and Dogecoin.There's even the mad bastards on that other tankie forum, now that's some long-running crazy cult drama going on over there.I think the last time I've interacted with people from here has been on the PS4 Community (killed by Sony, F), and that time some of us played Halo Reach (not the one notinvolving Ian and that whole story).
Quote from: Super Irish on May 22, 2021, 03:43:12 AMQuote from: Jono on May 22, 2021, 03:11:37 AMQuote from: ಠ_ಠ on May 21, 2021, 04:03:27 PMQuote from: Dietrich Six on May 21, 2021, 08:08:50 AMYou guys caught me at the very tail end of a major depressive episode so you didn't get to see that much of who I used to be.More or less the same case for a lot of people here. Probably why it became such a cesspool, if you think about it. This has never really been a healthy community.That's why sometimes I worry about the people that vanished from this place without warning and never came back. If they were battling their inner demons I just hope that they managed to get better and find happiness. If leaving this site was for the better for them then I hope they're all doing okay.You never know, this place could have been the source of some their misery.Maybe leaving it freed them.ಠ_ಠ noises
Quote from: Jono on May 22, 2021, 03:11:37 AMQuote from: ಠ_ಠ on May 21, 2021, 04:03:27 PMQuote from: Dietrich Six on May 21, 2021, 08:08:50 AMYou guys caught me at the very tail end of a major depressive episode so you didn't get to see that much of who I used to be.More or less the same case for a lot of people here. Probably why it became such a cesspool, if you think about it. This has never really been a healthy community.That's why sometimes I worry about the people that vanished from this place without warning and never came back. If they were battling their inner demons I just hope that they managed to get better and find happiness. If leaving this site was for the better for them then I hope they're all doing okay.You never know, this place could have been the source of some their misery.Maybe leaving it freed them.
Quote from: Super Irish on May 22, 2021, 03:43:12 AMQuote from: Jono on May 22, 2021, 03:11:37 AMQuote from: ಠ_ಠ on May 21, 2021, 04:03:27 PMQuote from: Dietrich Six on May 21, 2021, 08:08:50 AMYou guys caught me at the very tail end of a major depressive episode so you didn't get to see that much of who I used to be.More or less the same case for a lot of people here. Probably why it became such a cesspool, if you think about it. This has never really been a healthy community.That's why sometimes I worry about the people that vanished from this place without warning and never came back. If they were battling their inner demons I just hope that they managed to get better and find happiness. If leaving this site was for the better for them then I hope they're all doing okay.You never know, this place could have been the source of sone their misery.Maybe leaving it freed them.We made of guys like RomanGladiator a lot for his unfortunate outcomes then one day he vanished and never came back, all without warning too. This guy had the absolute worst luck if all of his stories ended up being legitimate.
Good to see that this place is still alive.For me personally, things have changed quite a bit. To summarize:- Graduated and got my degrees in law.- Started a career in academia as a legal scholar and researcher. Worked on a bunch of international / European development projects on AI while doing the typical academic stuff like publishing articles and whatnot.- Started my PhD last year. - Managed to make something out of my Twitch channel. Got partnered and connected with Bethesda, so I've gotten hired as an analyst and caster for their esports events.- Got married to my girlfriend of 6 years. - After renting a place for the past few years, I just bought a house (signed the contract for now, will be able to move into it in a few months). - Wife and I are expecting our first baby later this year.
although I do remember from b.net that RC was super into crypto before it exploded in '14 and I would actually be interested in hearing what he has to say about what's going on nowidk if he's still around I just haven't seen him in a while
Dude wtf congrats
Quote from: Coomer on May 23, 2021, 07:11:09 PMDude wtf congratsThanks man. Some big changes for sure. How have you been?Edit: just read your comment in the other thread. Anything in particular you're feeling depressed about?
Quote from: Flee_ on May 23, 2021, 07:29:06 PMQuote from: Coomer on May 23, 2021, 07:11:09 PMDude wtf congratsThanks man. Some big changes for sure. How have you been?Edit: just read your comment in the other thread. Anything in particular you're feeling depressed about?Not really Things haven't gotten worseIt's just the tonnage that's piled up is getting heavyAlso I said working isn't the source of my depression but thinking about it, it definitely is making me feel worseWhen I was in school, I could tell myself that my life hadn't started yetThere was still a goal to look forward to, just hold out for a few more yearsBut now it's like, this is it? Now what? Hold out for the rest of my life?It's making time pass by really slow and I'm stewing in the void
I really want Vebatim to post ITT.
Wow, good news all around! Congratulations!
Quote from: Coomer on May 23, 2021, 08:19:15 PMQuote from: Flee_ on May 23, 2021, 07:29:06 PMQuote from: Coomer on May 23, 2021, 07:11:09 PMDude wtf congratsThanks man. Some big changes for sure. How have you been?Edit: just read your comment in the other thread. Anything in particular you're feeling depressed about?Not really Things haven't gotten worseIt's just the tonnage that's piled up is getting heavyAlso I said working isn't the source of my depression but thinking about it, it definitely is making me feel worseWhen I was in school, I could tell myself that my life hadn't started yetThere was still a goal to look forward to, just hold out for a few more yearsBut now it's like, this is it? Now what? Hold out for the rest of my life?It's making time pass by really slow and I'm stewing in the voidTrying to think of how to cobble everything to say here. Your goal never shifted so you never picked up much of anything guiding in school. That means you've done little to no growth towards anything.And I'd be willing to bet you're stuck with a unique problem. You sit around stewing and wondering if that's the endgame, but when you try thinking about all the things you could possibly do, they all seem out of reach or as if you've already run out of time to do them. Would I be right or wrong on that? Can possibly help ya out if you feel like talking about it.
Well the goals I have are kinda in conflict. On one hand I want to improve the world, ease suffering, etc. On the other hand, I really don't want to do anything at all. I naturally crave the loser lifestyle and would be happy living in a one bedroom apartment working as a delivery driver. I feel most fulfilled when I am helping others but doing things for others just drains me emotionally for some reason. The things that make me happy make me feel dead inside at the same time. So going towards one end would lead me further from the other. Either way, I just feel exhausted and not at peace with myself at allNow that I'm out of school, I feel like I have to decide who I have to be. I wonder if I'll ever find anything that will make me happy without make me feel like a piece of shit at the same time. I don't know if this even makes sense but I feel like I'm spinning my wheels in place
Quote from: Flee_ on May 24, 2021, 10:17:54 AMI've since watched and, regrettably, enjoyed the Attack on Titan anime, so even I have become a weeb after all this time. smh
I've since watched and, regrettably, enjoyed the Attack on Titan anime, so even I have become a weeb after all this time.
Quote from: E on May 23, 2021, 10:20:23 PMQuote from: Coomer on May 23, 2021, 08:19:15 PMQuote from: Flee_ on May 23, 2021, 07:29:06 PMQuote from: Coomer on May 23, 2021, 07:11:09 PMDude wtf congratsThanks man. Some big changes for sure. How have you been?Edit: just read your comment in the other thread. Anything in particular you're feeling depressed about?Not really Things haven't gotten worseIt's just the tonnage that's piled up is getting heavyAlso I said working isn't the source of my depression but thinking about it, it definitely is making me feel worseWhen I was in school, I could tell myself that my life hadn't started yetThere was still a goal to look forward to, just hold out for a few more yearsBut now it's like, this is it? Now what? Hold out for the rest of my life?It's making time pass by really slow and I'm stewing in the voidTrying to think of how to cobble everything to say here. Your goal never shifted so you never picked up much of anything guiding in school. That means you've done little to no growth towards anything.And I'd be willing to bet you're stuck with a unique problem. You sit around stewing and wondering if that's the endgame, but when you try thinking about all the things you could possibly do, they all seem out of reach or as if you've already run out of time to do them. Would I be right or wrong on that? Can possibly help ya out if you feel like talking about it.Well the goals I have are kinda in conflict. On one hand I want to improve the world, ease suffering, etc. On the other hand, I really don't want to do anything at all. I naturally crave the loser lifestyle and would be happy living in a one bedroom apartment working as a delivery driver. I feel most fulfilled when I am helping others but doing things for others just drains me emotionally for some reason. The things that make me happy make me feel dead inside at the same time. So going towards one end would lead me further from the other. Either way, I just feel exhausted and not at peace with myself at allNow that I'm out of school, I feel like I have to decide who I have to be. I wonder if I'll ever find anything that will make me happy without make me feel like a piece of shit at the same time. I don't know if this even makes sense but I feel like I'm spinning my wheels in place
Quote from: FatherlyNick 🇷🇺 on May 22, 2021, 05:01:14 PMI really want Vebatim to post ITT.well, if you insisti don't have a lot to say, though, because i'm willing to bet that i've probably changed the least out of anybody still using this websitei joined this forum during my first semester of college, and after seven grueling years, i can finally expect to get my worthless degree by august, whereupon i can spend the rest of my days worrying about how i'm going to pay the government back for the stupidest decision i've made in my lifei haven't really changed any of my beliefs over the past seven years, and if anything, i've only doubled, tripled, or quadrupled down on the majority of them (because the world only continues to prove just how right i am about fucking everything—and yeah, my bitterness has also increased tenfold)if anything about me has changed, i'd say i've gotten a little bit better at communicating with people; i find it much easier to express myself in ways that regular people will actually understand now, and i also find myself a lot more tolerant of people's bullshit in general—but at the core, i'm still a pretty angry and spiteful person who doesn't enjoy life very much, because as anyone could plainly see, there's really not a whole lot to enjoyfirst person to suggest therapy gets to be thrown off a cliff
Sorry for a long rant, I just haven't been posting here for some time and I decided to give some update. I don't think that I changed much for the past few years. I think that environment I'm in changed and currently things on my mind are my job and how to change it, my parents and my friends. On one hand I tend to be quite a workaholic, quite "straight to the point" man once I get annoyed by something and on the other hand my interest in system administration is high enough to spend a lot of time on it, so hopefully I work this future job opportunity out.
Quote from: MarKhan on May 29, 2021, 02:17:28 PMSorry for a long rant, I just haven't been posting here for some time and I decided to give some update. I don't think that I changed much for the past few years. I think that environment I'm in changed and currently things on my mind are my job and how to change it, my parents and my friends. On one hand I tend to be quite a workaholic, quite "straight to the point" man once I get annoyed by something and on the other hand my interest in system administration is high enough to spend a lot of time on it, so hopefully I work this future job opportunity out.hey, sent you a PM regarding work.