how do i console this friend of mine

 
Verbatim
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>approaching his late 20s
>hates his job
>got a 4-year degree and moved to the other side of the country to get it; hates it there
>has no friends outside of the internet, can't make any more due to anxiety
>makes more money than he needs for his lifestyle
>lives with his shitty conservative family who drives him up the wall every day
>nowhere else to go
>is overall unhappy
>wants to quit and move back to his home where he has friends
>plans on doing this
>decides to stick it out for another 4 months so he can put 2 full years of experience on his resume
>3 months later
>just suffered through the slowest performing month in his career
>suddenly receive a raise and a bonus for seemingly no reason
>literally can't quit now without it being a spit-in-the-face and instantaneously burning the only bridge he's ever built
>can't whine about this to anyone without seeming like an entitled brat
>seems like he's gonna be trapped in this boring friendless cesspit forever but he makes bank so he's not allowed to complain

what do i even say to this guy
Last Edit: November 20, 2018, 02:46:21 PM by Verbatim


maverick | Legendary Invincible!
 
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Honestly seems like this guy is wayyy too concerned with what other people think. Not sure if you’re looking for advice to give him but I would hightail it out of there and come back home.


 
Verbatim
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Honestly seems like this guy is wayyy too concerned with what other people think. Not sure if you’re looking for advice to give him but I would hightail it out of there and come back home.
this is the only job he's ever had, so in his eyes, if he burns the bridge, it's 2 years of experience down the drain and he'll be back at square 1

whatever references he'd have been able to use aren't gonna have anything nice to say about a guy who quits after receiving such a generous gift, and since he's far up into the "making it somewhere in life" meme (which i don't have the heart to disillusion him from), it's not necessarily about caring what people think, it's just a fear of wasting all of his efforts networking by making what could ultimately and honestly be described as an overall selfish decision
Last Edit: November 20, 2018, 03:25:53 PM by Verbatim


 
challengerX
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
If he got a raise and bonus they must value him in the company. Are there no other branches maybe in his home state that he could maybe transfer to? I don’t know what his field is and what the company culture is like but maybe he can level with his employer and tell him why he doesn’t want to be there anymore, that he values all the opportunities and everything else etc. but that he just has to go home.

But what exactly would he be going home to? I know money isn’t everything but he doesn’t really seem to care about his family (or starting one of his own). Maybe he’s just bummed out about all of this and he thinks the good times he had in his youth will be there waiting for him when he gets back, but that actually isn’t the case. The grass is always greener on the other side until you get there. He might quit and go home then see he’s actually no better off AND he lost a good paying job.


 
Carmen
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convince him to let me move in with him I will change his life


 
DAS B00T x2
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This is not the greatest sig in the world, no. This is just a tribute.
There's not a problem in this world that five pounds of tannerite can't fix.


 
challengerX
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
There's not a problem in this world that five pounds of tannerite can't fix.
Yeah I guess if his company became a hole in the ground all his problems would technically be solved.


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If I'm not here, I'm doing Photography. Or I'm asleep. Or hungover. One of those three, anyway.

The current titlebar/avatar setup is courtesy of Father Dougal McGuire, from Craggy Island's Father Ted.
  • Use his more money than needs to rent/buy a deposit on a house somewhere else (Solves the parents problem)
Plan on saving that mad bank he's got if it isn't immediately doable, and if he can't sustain himself alone on his wage then there's a perfect excuse to just leave that says "I leave because I have to, not because I want to" vibe. Might even be an opportunity to get  a better raise if they really want him there.
  • There is no obligation to be loyal to the company (Though America's a bit fucked with the whole capitalism thing, workers rights, etc..., then there's professionalism in general, if the manager's a cunt then there's not much you could do whether he left before or now.).
If he looks for another job right now while still working currently, then he can claim when he leaves that they had better benefits/packages/whatever. Workers can be poached and it's a problem with the company, not the worker if someone else offers a better deal. That's if he really has trouble with just leaving, but it means staying there longer then trying with the first point.

He has no friends at work at all, and they gave him a raise? What does he do? It's hard to console or remedy without a bit more to go on.



Last Edit: November 20, 2018, 07:23:14 PM by Doug.al


DGTF | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Seems like the memories of home are holding him back from moving forward in his current situation


Solonoid | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Knees go weak, and I swoon, underneath the pallid moon.
Praise the night, and praise the night!
The only time I feel alright.
give him some tough love and tell him he needs to just do it

lying to him and saying some bull so he'll feel better (which wouldn't work anyway) would only weigh on your own conscience

before you can get out of a rut, you need a sense of direction and the drive to go in that direction


Solonoid | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Knees go weak, and I swoon, underneath the pallid moon.
Praise the night, and praise the night!
The only time I feel alright.
oh and by just do it, I mean that he should do whatever he wants to, not what he feels he has to


 
 
Flee
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You never specified what he does but it's a pretty general rule of thumb in highly qualified professions that you never go back down the wage ladder. If that's the case here, tell him to look for jobs in his home state while continuing to work where he is now and not going below his current wage.


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He should find a job back home and move back. He should be qualified enough to get a similar wage. And even if not a similar wage, why does it matter then if he already makes more money than he needs for his lifestyle?

Needs to get himself out of that toxic environment(parents/work that he hates). Literally no point to continue there just for the approval of others (or fear of disapproval). Fears basically the only thing holding him back from all this. But if he doesn’t face it he’ll be miserable anyways so there’s nothing to lose


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Dating apps.