How's my essay?

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EDIT: FUCK YEAH I GOT A 100!

So, I had to write a DBQ (document based question) essay for my AP Euro class, in which I had to analyze the cause of and responses to the German Peasants' Revolts of 1524-1526. Interested as to what you guys think.

Edit: Regarding this "plagiarism software" I'm pretty you guys are referring to turning in assignments online using a system other than Google Drive, and I also think it's important to note that this is for high school. I have never heard students nor teachers mention any plagiarism software similar to that which you guys speak of.

Quote
The German Peasants’ Revolts were a series of revolts occurring from 1524-1526 in which peasants ran amok throughout the German states, with some groups converging on the town of Memmingen, Swabia, to form a Peasant Parliament and voice their grievances in the Twelve Articles of the Swabian Peasants. The revolts were caused by religious teachings and abuse inflicted by lords, and were responded to with support, as well as condemnation.

The revolts’ were quite connected to new religious teachings, as prior to and during the revolts, the Protestant Reformation was taking hold, and with it the rise of Lutheranism in particular. Indeed, Leonhard von Eck, the Chancellor of Bavaria, in his report to Duke Ludwig of Bavaria (Document 1) would go so far as to state that the primary cause of the revolts was Lutheran teachings. However, the validity of Leonhard von Eck’s testimony is negatively affected by his status as Chancellor of Bavaria, a primarily Catholic region of Germany. Taking into account his connection of the rebellion to Lutheran teachings, and his status as Bavarian chancellor, it can be ascertained that the Chancellor is likely Catholic, and would be more likely to link two phenomena he deemed to be negative. However, while von Eck could be considered a source partial to one perspective, there exists more evidence of a connection between the revolts and Lutheran teachings. Theologian Martin Luther spoke of the priesthood of all believers, which would be interpreted by some as the equality of all believers in all aspects of life, as indicated by statements from the Articles of the Peasants of Memmingen (Document 3). The teachings of radical Lutheran theologian Thomas Münzer played a role in the revolts as well, as stated by Martin Luther in his piece Against the Murdering, Thieving Hordes of Peasants (Document 7), a conclusion supported by Münzer’s open letter to the people of Allstedt (Document 6), in which Münzer would advocate violent action taken by the peasantry, claiming it to be God’s Will.

Abuse and oppression inflicted by lords upon the peasantry was another significant cause of the revolts. Abuse of the serfs had long been a characteristic of the feudal system, and statements in the Twelve Articles of the Swabian Peasants (Document 2), which speak of lords forcing more services upon serfs without compensating them for additional labor serve as a testament to this. Indeed, Caspar Nützel, in his letter to Duke Albert of Prussia (Document 9), referred to the mistreatment of the peasantry as excessive in nature.

 The revolts were met with support from the citizens of various towns, and indifference on behalf of the nobility and upper class early on in the revolts, although this would soon change. As suggested by Pastor Johann Herolt’s report on the events at Weinsburg, the townspeople were supportive of the rebelling peasants, as they would likely have been impoverished themselves, and would have been in agreement with the ideals of the revolting serfs. In regards to the nobility, as indicated by Count Wilhelm von Henneberg’s letter to Duke Albert of Prussia (Document 11), and Lorenz Fries’ report on a peasant assembly (Document 8 ) some members of the nobility and peasantry were initially indifferent to the uprisings, as at that point the peasantry had primarily targeted priests and monks, looting and destroying monasteries. However, this indifference would soon become fear, as once the rebelling serfs had concluded laying wastes to the monasteries, they set their eyes upon the wealth and possessions of the upper class and nobility, once again as detailed in documents eight and eleven. Indeed, as is stated in nobleman Christoffel von Lichtenstein’s plea for leniency (Document 10) many nobles were forced to swear an oath of allegiance to the cause of the revolt to avoid death and robbery. The validity of Lichtenstein’s statement, however, becomes subject to skepticism when one considers his predicament at the time. In document ten he is requesting legal leniency, to avoid punishment for swearing an oath of allegiance. Therefore, he may have exaggerated the quantity of nobles that were forced to join the revolt in order to justify his actions. However, Martin Luther also testifies to such occurrences in document seven, thus Lichtenstein’s statements appear true.

The revolts also received a great deal of condemnation. Martin Luther himself delivered a stern condemnation of the rebels’ action in his piece Against the Murdering, Thieving Hordes of Peasants (Document 7), in which he names Münzer as responsible for the chaos. In document seven, Luther is clearly attempting to distance himself from Münzer and the peasants, who were influenced by Lutheran teachings, so as to avoid the anger of those who might see him as the cause of the revolts. THe revolts were condemned by secular forces as well, as indicated by the Decree of the Imperial Diet of Speyer (Document 12). In document twelve, as well as the Memmingen town council’s reply to the Articles of the Peasants of Memmingen (Document 4) the authorities appear to have adopted a certain degree of leniency towards the peasants, enabling them to either purchase their freedom from their lords, or in the case of document twelve, giving lords the ability to restore the previous status of peasants who had rebelled. This was likely done in order to make those in power appear more benevolent in the eyes of the peasantry, and lessening the likelihood of future revolts.
Last Edit: October 06, 2014, 05:30:50 PM by Mmmmm Napalm


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Are you turning it in online or printing it out and turning it in?
Last Edit: October 05, 2014, 08:11:54 PM by Septy


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Are you turning it in online or printing it out and turning it in?
Online.


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See you Cowgirl,
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Are you turning it in online or printing it out and turning it in?
Online.
What have you done...


 
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Goodness gracious, great balls of lightning!


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Are you turning it in online or printing it out and turning it in?
Online.
What have you done...

What terrible wrong have I committed?


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See you Cowgirl,
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Are you turning it in online or printing it out and turning it in?
Online.
What have you done...

What terrible wrong have I committed?
The plagiarism finder thing will flag your essay at 100% plagiarized if it picks it up on this website.


Mmmmm Napalm | Legendary Invincible!
 
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gurb
Are you turning it in online or printing it out and turning it in?
Online.
What have you done...

What terrible wrong have I committed?
The plagiarism finder thing will flag your essay at 100% plagiarized if it picks it up on this website.
I have to name the documents that I am provided, it's a DBQ. Besides, I didn't directly quote anything.
Last Edit: October 05, 2014, 08:19:19 PM by Mmmmm Napalm


 
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This is not the greatest sig in the world, no. This is just a tribute.
Are you turning it in online or printing it out and turning it in?
Online.
What have you done...

What terrible wrong have I committed?
The plagiarism finder thing will flag your essay at 100% plagiarized if it picks it up on this website.
I have to name the documents that I am provided, it's a DBQ. Besides, I didn't directly quote anything.
He means the shitty automated plagiarism software will see this page and flag your paper as a complete copy/pasta.


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Are you turning it in online or printing it out and turning it in?
Online.
What have you done...

What terrible wrong have I committed?
The plagiarism finder thing will flag your essay at 100% plagiarized if it picks it up on this website.
I have to name the documents that I am provided, it's a DBQ. Besides, I didn't directly quote anything.
no he's saying it will find your paper on this site and it will think you stole your own work.


Mmmmm Napalm | Legendary Invincible!
 
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Is that a good thumbs up, or a sarcastic thumbs up?

By the way, I'm happy you're finally here Jono!
Last Edit: October 05, 2014, 08:21:40 PM by Mmmmm Napalm


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gurb
Are you turning it in online or printing it out and turning it in?
Online.
What have you done...

What terrible wrong have I committed?
The plagiarism finder thing will flag your essay at 100% plagiarized if it picks it up on this website.
I have to name the documents that I am provided, it's a DBQ. Besides, I didn't directly quote anything.
He means the shitty automated plagiarism software will see this page and flag your paper as a complete copy/pasta.

What plagiarism software?


 
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Goodness gracious, great balls of lightning!

Is that a good thumbs up, or a sarcastic thumbs up?

By the way, I'm happy you're finally here Jono!

A good thumbs up.

And now that I'm here...


 
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This is not the greatest sig in the world, no. This is just a tribute.
Are you turning it in online or printing it out and turning it in?
Online.
What have you done...

What terrible wrong have I committed?
The plagiarism finder thing will flag your essay at 100% plagiarized if it picks it up on this website.
I have to name the documents that I am provided, it's a DBQ. Besides, I didn't directly quote anything.
He means the shitty automated plagiarism software will see this page and flag your paper as a complete copy/pasta.

What plagiarism software?
The one teachers use to find plagiarized shit.


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See you Cowgirl,
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Are you turning it in online or printing it out and turning it in?
Online.
What have you done...

What terrible wrong have I committed?
The plagiarism finder thing will flag your essay at 100% plagiarized if it picks it up on this website.
I have to name the documents that I am provided, it's a DBQ. Besides, I didn't directly quote anything.
He means the shitty automated plagiarism software will see this page and flag your paper as a complete copy/pasta.

What plagiarism software?
Have you never turned a paper in online before?


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If you're handing it in online, never ever post it online.


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gurb
Are you turning it in online or printing it out and turning it in?
Online.
What have you done...

What terrible wrong have I committed?
The plagiarism finder thing will flag your essay at 100% plagiarized if it picks it up on this website.
I have to name the documents that I am provided, it's a DBQ. Besides, I didn't directly quote anything.
He means the shitty automated plagiarism software will see this page and flag your paper as a complete copy/pasta.

What plagiarism software?
Have you never turned a paper in online before?
Of course, my school district just uses Google Docs. I shared the paper via Google Docs with my AP Euro teacher.


 
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#13
Are you turning it in online or printing it out and turning it in?
Online.
What have you done...

What terrible wrong have I committed?
The plagiarism finder thing will flag your essay at 100% plagiarized if it picks it up on this website.
I have to name the documents that I am provided, it's a DBQ. Besides, I didn't directly quote anything.
He means the shitty automated plagiarism software will see this page and flag your paper as a complete copy/pasta.

What plagiarism software?
Have you never turned a paper in online before?
What if he edits the post and deletes it?


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I once had a tech paper come back with "1% plagarised" from a online store that sold washing machines.

I was pretty mad.
Last Edit: October 05, 2014, 08:28:34 PM by Trojanlord


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See you Cowgirl,
Someday, somewhere
Are you turning it in online or printing it out and turning it in?
Online.
What have you done...

What terrible wrong have I committed?
The plagiarism finder thing will flag your essay at 100% plagiarized if it picks it up on this website.
I have to name the documents that I am provided, it's a DBQ. Besides, I didn't directly quote anything.
He means the shitty automated plagiarism software will see this page and flag your paper as a complete copy/pasta.

What plagiarism software?
Have you never turned a paper in online before?
What if he edits the post and deletes it?
I suppose that would work. Hopefully deleted posts aren't archived somewhere.
Last Edit: October 05, 2014, 08:29:07 PM by Septy


Septy | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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See you Cowgirl,
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I once had a tech paper come back with "1% plagarised" from a online store that sold washing machines.

I was pretty mad.
Lol, a little amount of plagiarism is to be expected when righting essays and using direct quotes. Teachers usually only get suspicious if it goes over 10%


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Are you turning it in online or printing it out and turning it in?
Online.
What have you done...

What terrible wrong have I committed?
The plagiarism finder thing will flag your essay at 100% plagiarized if it picks it up on this website.
I have to name the documents that I am provided, it's a DBQ. Besides, I didn't directly quote anything.
He means the shitty automated plagiarism software will see this page and flag your paper as a complete copy/pasta.

What plagiarism software?
Have you never turned a paper in online before?
Of course, my school district just uses Google Docs. I shared the paper via Google Docs with my AP Euro teacher.

If your doing the same here you should be fine, this is for high school correct? For the future keep in mind that once you get to college digital papers are run through programs that detect plagiarism by searching for the sentences used in the paper online, and having it posted online will set off that program and get you flagged.


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gurb
Are you turning it in online or printing it out and turning it in?
Online.
What have you done...

What terrible wrong have I committed?
The plagiarism finder thing will flag your essay at 100% plagiarized if it picks it up on this website.
I have to name the documents that I am provided, it's a DBQ. Besides, I didn't directly quote anything.
He means the shitty automated plagiarism software will see this page and flag your paper as a complete copy/pasta.

What plagiarism software?
Have you never turned a paper in online before?
Of course, my school district just uses Google Docs. I shared the paper via Google Docs with my AP Euro teacher.

If your doing the same here you should be fine, this is for high school correct? For the future keep in mind that once you get to college digital papers are run through programs that detect plagiarism by searching for the sentences used in the paper online, and having it posted online will set off that program and get you flagged.

Alright, thanks. Yes, it's for high school.


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it's important to note that this is for high school.
What does high school have to do with it? Plagiarism is plagiarism, my high school used the same software that colleges use. If your school is the same way then I hope they don't find your post here.


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Just edit the OP to not have the essay and you are just fine. Woo!


 
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Critique from a writer inbound:

Quote
The German Peasants’ Revolts were a series of revolts occurring from 1524-1526 in which peasants ran amok throughout the German states, with some groups converging on the town of Memmingen, Swabia, to form a Peasant Parliament and voice their grievances in the Twelve Articles of the Swabian Peasants. The revolts were caused by religious teachings and abuse inflicted by lords, and were responded to with support, as well as condemnation.

The introduction is weak, in my opinion. The thesis is fine, but as a whole, it falls flat.

Quote
Abuse and oppression inflicted by lords upon the peasantry was another significant cause of the revolts. Abuse of the serfs had long been a characteristic of the feudal system, and statements in the Twelve Articles of the Swabian Peasants (Document 2), which speak of lords forcing more services upon serfs without compensating them for additional labor serve as a testament to this. Indeed, Caspar Nützel, in his letter to Duke Albert of Prussia (Document 9), referred to the mistreatment of the peasantry as excessive in nature.

It's pretty obvious, in comparison with the other two body paragraphs, this one is extremely weak. Try and bring in more outside knowledge on the subject.

Also, add a conclusion.


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It's very well written, good job. :)


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Critique from a writer inbound:

Quote
The German Peasants’ Revolts were a series of revolts occurring from 1524-1526 in which peasants ran amok throughout the German states, with some groups converging on the town of Memmingen, Swabia, to form a Peasant Parliament and voice their grievances in the Twelve Articles of the Swabian Peasants. The revolts were caused by religious teachings and abuse inflicted by lords, and were responded to with support, as well as condemnation.

The introduction is weak, in my opinion. The thesis is fine, but as a whole, it falls flat.

Quote
Abuse and oppression inflicted by lords upon the peasantry was another significant cause of the revolts. Abuse of the serfs had long been a characteristic of the feudal system, and statements in the Twelve Articles of the Swabian Peasants (Document 2), which speak of lords forcing more services upon serfs without compensating them for additional labor serve as a testament to this. Indeed, Caspar Nützel, in his letter to Duke Albert of Prussia (Document 9), referred to the mistreatment of the peasantry as excessive in nature.

It's pretty obvious, in comparison with the other two body paragraphs, this one is extremely weak. Try and bring in more outside knowledge on the subject.

Also, add a conclusion.

Thank you! I needed some constructive criticism.


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TUNNEL SNAKES RULE
(ง ͡͡ ° ͜ ʖ ͡ °)ง
Refrain using the term "peasant" that many times, especially in the first sentence. Synonyms are your friends here