How'd you overcome failing at something or great loss?

January 08, 2021, 01:27:40 AM

Here's a hypothetical for you lads. Imagine whatever it is big that you have planned or going on in your life. Then imagine life ripping it a new asshole and leaving you with nothing.

My questions are; what do you think you'd do if that happened, and if it already did happen, why do you keep trying?

I know there's a few of you here who've seen shit and shit accessories. Your respective responses are worth my asking the question. I'm gonna take your answers(provided they're legit) and drop them on a fellow I've been holding together mentally for a couple months now. He's not going to make it much farther if nothing changes, and I sure as fuck ain't leaving him to his fate. I couldn't get my camper past the US border if I tried to give him a hand, so I need some answers that show why people earnestly try even if shit's failed over and over again.

January 08, 2021, 05:35:49 AM

Quote from: ಠ_ಠ on January 08, 2021, 02:25:42 AM

I'm pretty damn accustomed to most of the things I want or plan not working out. Enough to the point where failure is the expected default, and good things are a genuine surprise. Can't say I do much of anything to cope, and I can't answer why I keep trying in spite of things. I just do.

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. After while enduring things gets easier as you build up resilience. But I also wouldn't consider myself the best person to ask.

Bout the best answer I could hope for. One at least. Thank you kindly for that.

Ian · January 08, 2021, 06:53:43 AM

I got extraordinarily lucky when my sociopathic ex tried to get me fired on a false accusation of harassment. Not only did the company find her accusation entirely baseless and told her to never to make up a lie like that again, but she ended up losing her most dreamed position/location to me in the end afterwards.

Had she gotten away with it though, and had I lost my job, I have several thousand dollars in savings in the case of unexpected unemployment and have various levels of backup plans laid out in case one of those things don't work out. It would be a major setback to my overall plans but I figured if things just keeping failing for me, so long as I can get an overnight security guard position at some retirement home I'd be okay. Sure I'd lose all my ambitious goals, but if I'm failing constantly, I'm probably not cut out for that anyways.

January 08, 2021, 09:10:39 AM

Quote from: Ian on January 08, 2021, 06:53:43 AM

I got extraordinarily lucky when my sociopathic ex tried to get me fired on a false accusation of harassment. Not only did the company find her accusation entirely baseless and told her to never to make up a lie like that again, but she ended up losing her most dreamed position/location to me in the end afterwards.

Had she gotten away with it though, and had I lost my job, I have several thousand dollars in savings in the case of unexpected unemployment and have various levels of backup plans laid out in case one of those things don't work out. It would be a major setback to my overall plans but I figured if things just keeping failing for me, so long as I can get an overnight security guard position at some retirement home I'd be okay. Sure I'd lose all my ambitious goals, but if I'm failing constantly, I'm probably not cut out for that anyways.

Cheers on that. Thanks for the help Ian.

Mordo · January 09, 2021, 10:37:41 AM

No point serenading you in cheap clichés, but there does come a point where you need to self heal, learn from the failure as best you can and build yourself back up again. Easier said than done I know, but even just getting out bed and tackling the day is an accomplishment, even if it is just a simple walk around the block. Don't downplay anything that you do achieve. Baby steps are better than no steps.

I lost my job, my girlfriend and my mental health in 2020. A fair bit was due to covid, but a lot of it was other things. I came very close to checking out, but thankfully I didn't. Success or happiness isn't a straight path. You learn more from life shattering moments than you ever do from the peaks.

I mean, when this covid fiasco is over, we're all gonna be able to say to ourselves that we survived a global pandemic. That's an historic achievement in and of itself.

Jono · January 10, 2021, 01:24:55 AM

My dog is 17 years old. This past year in 2020 I had way too many close calls with him. Multiple vet visits were needed and later on because of covid I was unable to take him to the vet and just hoped the medicine I have would help him get better. There was times he couldn't even walk or hold his head up straight. I would come home from work crying seeing him struggle to get out of his bed to come greet me like he always does. I would pick him up, hug him, and scratch his ears for him to try to make him feel better because I knew he was in pain. My dad had to carry him to his bowl to eat and carry him outside to do the bathroom. He got his strength back to walk but his walk was never the same as he still bumps into things every once in a while.

He's been with me most of my life and when the day comes when he is no longer with us... well... I don't know what I'll do with myself. It was hard enough losing my other dog a few years ago but this one will hurt even more.

January 10, 2021, 07:26:44 AM

Thanks for the replies guys. Made enough of an impact in point to turn things around for the fellow I'm dealing with.

cuneif · January 18, 2021, 10:59:41 AM

Me having a much simpler solution to things, I just have this incredible amount of mental toughness that I could literally get it over with. But on a much helpful note, I believe that a lot of the shit that's going on is temporarily and there's always solutions to these things.