The invention of the popular photo fad, the selfie, came with the invention of photography in the late 1820s. French inventor Nicéphore Niépce was attempting to photograph the countryside near Toulouse when he accidentally snapped a photo of himself.
Of course, he didn't realize this immediately because it took a few days for the picture to develop. Once it did develop, he came to the conclusion that it was the most absolutely swagtastic thing he had ever seen. He quickly patented the act of taking a selfie.
Within a few years, selfies were taking by people of all walks of life. John Wilkes Booth, famous killer of the 16th US president Abraham Lincoln, took a selfie moments before the event and uploaded it to InstaGraham™. "Totes gonna assassinate this nerd. #SouthPride" he wrote.
Unfortunately for Booth, the NSA used this post to find and capture him.
Around 80 years later, German dictator Adolf Hitler enacted the Nuremberg Laws. These laws were mostly targeted at the Jewish population, but among these laws was the prohibition of taking a selfie. You see, Mr. Hitler lacked the self-confidence to share any photos of himself with others. This ban resulted in a wave of German immigrants arriving in the US. Most modern white girls are descended from these immigrants.
What selfie takers do not realize is that every selfie ever taken is stored in a database by the Illuminati, which sells the pictures to their prime customer, the Israelis. The Israelis then use their enigmatic Judaic Magics to create clones from these images to serve in the IDF . This is why the small country has such a steady supply of manpower for their military.
history time with ember