For once, I need actual advice

BC | Legendary Inconceivable!
 
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Oh, hey.
Whether or not this is the best place to come for stuff like this, it doesn't hurt to hear different opinions and advice.

I recently separated from my girlfriend after 6 years, and I am having a remarkably hard time dealing with it. I won't go into details as to why, because of the sheer amount of detail that goes into each element of what caused the downfall. I just don't know how to really move on from it. I can't communicate with her anymore, so I can't get closure or really anything. I honestly can't rap my head around moving on after losing the person I literally did everything with for 6 straight years. The person I have talked to literally every single day for 6 years. The only person I have ever been fully transparent with, and the only person in which I stayed genuine in every way imaginable. It was incredibly difficult and taxing to always be transparent, but I felt I owed it to her.

Hell, it has been so many years since I have been this down. I haven't had thoughts of self harm since middle school and early high school, but they came again, and I got uncomfortably close to acting on it on two different occasions over the last 3 days. It's just so much to wrap my head around and I just don't understand how all of this happened.

Was it a bad break up? In my opinion yes, as I have never had a break up which involved cutting all ties in terms of communication. I am just left alone with the thoughts that keep creeping into my mind, and the feeling of being alone.

I hope some of you guys have been in similar situations and can give me some advice. I know I will get some joke answers, but hopefully I do get something with substance because I really do need it.


MyNameIsCharlie | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Get of my lawn
First, how old are you?


 
Elai
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male, he/him

dracula can eat my whole ass!
in time youll feel better. thats all that can be said, really. it doesn't ever go away, you just become better a handling it.


BC | Legendary Inconceivable!
 
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Oh, hey.


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MyNameIsCharlie | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Get of my lawn
It just takes a while, it hurts. That is normal.

Pretty much this. I really wish I had better for you.


Coomer | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Make sure you don’t spend time alone

Retreating into your own depressed thoughts sounds like a bad thing to do at this point


Dietrich Six | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Excuse me, I'm full of dog poison
Most of your energy now should be focused on work, school, hobbies, whatever else. Shit is going to be tough be it'll get easier. Like everyone else said it just takes time, a 6 year relationship is going to take quite a bit.

I'd avoid drinking and trying to date for the time being, let yourself grieve and heal before moving on. Alcohol tends to extend the time it takes to get over heartbreak.

You got this man, stay positive and you'll be fine.


Zonda | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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I’m a rebound-type guy. It’s a band-aid over a canyon type solution but it helps for me


Batch | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Got out with some friends, get in contact with people you havent talked to in ages.

Im not saying go out and look for a fuck, but just spending time with friends helps a lot. But its going to hurt, no doubt about it. Really you're going to feel absolutely trash, but stay strong cause you're still alive and breathing, the world sucks, but it isn't over.


Batch | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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I’m a rebound-type guy. It’s a band-aid over a canyon type solution but it helps for me
Stick it into another hole while you're still hard amirite fam?


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If you know, you know.
Cutting all contact is a good step. Very hard initially, but you are better off that way. That person no longer exists.
Give yourself time to feel sad. Cry if you feel like it and as time goes on, you will be happy again.


Zonda | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Seriously though you’re handling it well man, there’s no quick way to get over this feeling and reconnecting with old friends (or just strengthenening your ties to the current ones) is the most wholesome way you can possibly handle it.

Even if they don’t know what’s going on, it’s really comforting knowing you aren’t truly alone, even though you’ve lost your special bond with the one who you did everything with. I was doing the same when my Ex and I had the writing on the wall.


 
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This is not the greatest sig in the world, no. This is just a tribute.
Now you've come to know why 2d women are superior to 3dpd. A waifu will never leave you, even if your government bans lewd art of her.


Mega Sceptile | Heroic Unstoppable!
 
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1st off, you will NEVER be able to recapture that same feeling as when you were together with your ex, it's impossible, don't try to compare any future relationship to it.

2nd, go on a bro trip with all your best friends and have some fun, DON'T sit around moping and have some fun to clear your head.

3rd, try dating again and  refer to point 1, have some fun with some people you have never met and maybe have a relationship just as unforgettable as the last, just in a different way, and stick with it, try to improve on this one by learning from the mistakes you/they made last time.


🂿 | Mythic Unfrigginbelievable!
 
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I'm going through a semi situation like that right now. I say semi because I believe that's what its going to lead to.

PM me and I'll do my best to help you.


🂿 | Mythic Unfrigginbelievable!
 
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1st off, you will NEVER be able to recapture that same feeling as when you were together with your ex, it's impossible, don't try to compare any future relationship to it.

2nd, go on a bro trip with all your best friends and have some fun, DON'T sit around moping and have some fun to clear your head.

3rd, try dating again and  refer to point 1, have some fun with some people you have never met and maybe have a relationship just as unforgettable as the last, just in a different way, and stick with it, try to improve on this one by learning from the mistakes you/they made last time.

This is a very solid answer. I approve.


 
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
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R o c k e t | Mythic Smash Master
 
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I neither fear, nor despise.
Everyone is making good points.

You survived before you ever met this person, you'll survive after them too.


Jive Turkey | Mythic Invincible!
 
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A legit breakup with someone you’ve invested your entire sense of self with is probably one of the most excruciatingly painful emotional trials you can ever go through. I don’t care what anyone says, a true love breakup is world shattering to the person. And as an already empathetic person, you’re going to feel the severity of it much more than most will understand.

First thing you need to know, is that it will get better. Second thing you need to know, is that nothing I say will be able to ease the pain for you right now. For how long depends up to you. Your identity, sense of self, everything was somewhat to majorly dependent on HER. That’s what happens in relationships like this. Your brain is like legit wired to her brain. You have identical experiences, the habits you’ve formed with her are so strong, those neural pathways so thick, that by breaking up you’re going  to have to basically tear them out, and that’s painful as fuck.

The best thing I did was to in a way reinvent myself. When I went through a horrible suicide provoking breakup, I felt over time that I was sorta shedding away layers of myself as time went on and the pain would come and go. And that I was adding new layers to myself, better improved layers. That surrounded my core identity/values. I completely transformed in a way, improved immensely, and am so much happier and fulfilled now.

That seems impossible to you I know, but you have to keep it in your mind that it will get better. That’s not meant to make you feel better though like I said. You’re acrually probably going to feel like absolute shit for a good while, with occasional glimpses of happiness. It’s almkst like the theme of the world you live in changed, everything’s the same but so different right?  Just pretend like you’re living in a nightmare right now. You’re gonna have to be strong and push through it. Just feel your emotions as they come, don’t try to block them out in any way!!

I recommend filling your life with brand new experiences. New people, new places, new new new. And enjoyable to you. Force yourself to flood your brain with all these new experiences. Read! Reading changes your thought patterns so well. I highly recommend getting into meditation too, it’s changed my life tbh.

Not sure the circumstances but I’m here for you man. Snap me or somethjng if you ever need to talk or just vent to a semi anon person. I have a lot of experience with this


BC | Legendary Inconceivable!
 
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Oh, hey.
1st off, you will NEVER be able to recapture that same feeling as when you were together with your ex, it's impossible, don't try to compare any future relationship to it.

2nd, go on a bro trip with all your best friends and have some fun, DON'T sit around moping and have some fun to clear your head.

3rd, try dating again and  refer to point 1, have some fun with some people you have never met and maybe have a relationship just as unforgettable as the last, just in a different way, and stick with it, try to improve on this one by learning from the mistakes you/they made last time.

That first point is a real son of a bitch. Mainly because it was a relationship where I was totally okay if I ended up marrying her. We were already living together, and it had been on my mind for a while. Just too young to get around to it, and then this happened lmao.

I always compare people, which is a terrible thing to do but I just do it naturally. X person isn't as attractive as Y, X doesn't even have near as great as a personality as Y.

Point 3 is something I'll get to in like half a year, right now I mainly just getting my side of things back in order because everything came to a screeching halt last week.


BC | Legendary Inconceivable!
 
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Oh, hey.

A legit breakup with someone you’ve invested your entire sense of self with is probably one of the most excruciatingly painful emotional trials you can ever go through. I don’t care what anyone says, a true love breakup is world shattering to the person. And as an already empathetic person, you’re going to feel the severity of it much more than most will understand.

First thing you need to know, is that it will get better. Second thing you need to know, is that nothing I say will be able to ease the pain for you right now. For how long depends up to you. Your identity, sense of self, everything was somewhat to majorly dependent on HER. That’s what happens in relationships like this. Your brain is like legit wired to her brain. You have identical experiences, the habits you’ve formed with her are so strong, those neural pathways so thick, that by breaking up you’re going  to have to basically tear them out, and that’s painful as fuck.

The best thing I did was to in a way reinvent myself. When I went through a horrible suicide provoking breakup, I felt over time that I was sorta shedding away layers of myself as time went on and the pain would come and go. And that I was adding new layers to myself, better improved layers. That surrounded my core identity/values. I completely transformed in a way, improved immensely, and am so much happier and fulfilled now.

That seems impossible to you I know, but you have to keep it in your mind that it will get better. That’s not meant to make you feel better though like I said. You’re acrually probably going to feel like absolute shit for a good while, with occasional glimpses of happiness. It’s almkst like the theme of the world you live in changed, everything’s the same but so different right?  Just pretend like you’re living in a nightmare right now. You’re gonna have to be strong and push through it. Just feel your emotions as they come, don’t try to block them out in any way!!

I recommend filling your life with brand new experiences. New people, new places, new new new. And enjoyable to you. Force yourself to flood your brain with all these new experiences. Read! Reading changes your thought patterns so well. I highly recommend getting into meditation too, it’s changed my life tbh.

Not sure the circumstances but I’m here for you man. Snap me or somethjng if you ever need to talk or just vent to a semi anon person. I have a lot of experience with this

Thankfully I feel I have made a full recovery, although I am more then aware Ill feel sad at some point in the future. It was just immensely difficult to be with that person and having an incredible day, and then the next its over. That shit blew my mind and I just kept trying to wrap my head around it which just made it more painful and confusing. I would sit there asking myself how did this happened and what did I do to deserve this. Eventually after talking to her and my friends it became clear that I did nothing wrong, and there was really nothing I could have done. She was immensely happy with our relationship, as was I, but then the events of that day occurred and well shit hit the fan faster then I could keep up.

It was a lesson in self worth, because it made me feel worthless. I had done everything in my power for her, everything she needed I provided, whether it was time or money spent I did it. She helped me through a lot of stuff, was by my side through so many thing, and was just at every step a truly remarkable girlfriend. How it happened, and how she acted towards me immediately following just made me feel completely worthless. I was discarded like nothing, and I just couldn't handle that.

The best way I have gotten over it was simply to appreciate the time we had, rather then feeling it was wasted. People expected me to be angry and hate her, which I don't. Shockingly at no point during all of this did I get mad, I was just sad and hurt. Slap to the face of an experience but hey atleast I feel better. Still havent talked to her, but sounds like I'm going to have to at some point.

Unsure if it is smart or not to atleast try and stay friends, feel like it would be awkward especially with what happened.

As shitty as it sounds, I just woke up one day and just didn't give a shit about what happened. Maybe I am in a denial phase, or my brain just was like we can't stay sad about this shit so lets throw it into the back and forget. I still love her to death and would do anything I can to help her. But god damn was it a shit show of a night.


Zonda | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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As much as it sucks what happened, I’m glad you’re feeling better man.


BC | Legendary Inconceivable!
 
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Oh, hey.
As much as it sucks what happened, I’m glad you’re feeling better man.

I appreciate it, happy to be back to normal


Solonoid | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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whatever this post may be, it's definitely not worthwhile advice for op

maybe I'm telling someone to kill themselves?


BC | Legendary Inconceivable!
 
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Oh, hey.
Update, feel like absolute dog shit again.

You guys weren't playing when you said it comes in waves.


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I think Halo is a pretty cool guy. Eh kills aleins and doesnt afraid of anything.
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A Cheese Potato | Legendary Invincible!
 
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I wish I could come in waves


BC | Legendary Inconceivable!
 
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Oh, hey.
Have you tried suicide?

Certainly have heavily considered it at some points