favorite short stories?

rC | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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ayy lmao
mine is the last question by asimov: http://www.multivax.com/last_question.html

i first read it near my mental bottom, and it gave me a feeling of hope that i hadn't felt in a while. it's very short, i highly recommend giving it a read.



 
SecondClass
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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
—Judge Aaron Satie
——Carmen
love this one
Barry looked out the cold soulless glass of the flower shop window. Raining again. Water falling out of the sky like tears from an orphaned civilization.

"The ten million sheep keep grazing," Barry murmured to himself. "The slime and filth of New York all runs downhill." Benson & Associates didn't take off like Barry dreamed it would. The only clients he got were scumbag addicts who couldn't find their antenna if it was hanging in front of them.

The flower shop door opened, and a mosquito flew in. "Fucking bloodsuckers," Barry grumbled, lighting a cigarette. The flame burned like the embers of a forgotten time. Barry could hardly remember the last time he was happy; working for Honex and spending time with Adam and Vanessa. Adam was now the CEO of Honesco and fired half the bees to save money, and Vanessa hadn't been the same since she started drinking.

"Mr Benson, hello?" The mosquito buzzed around Barry. "Oh god, I need your help. PLEASE!"

Barry took another drag from his cigarette and rolled his eyes. "What is it, asshole?" He couldn't stand insect filth who wasted his time.

Time. Like the gears of a machine, turning in place, never reaching a conclusion. Barry's time never ended. He had prayed for death before, but no one answered. He used to believe in God, but now God was like a moat flowing through a windmill.

The mosquito put its face in its hands. "Oh god...the kids...Elaine...they're all dead."

"Let me guess, you got drunk and flew into a rage." The rain kept coming.

"What? God no, Barry. It was...it was a car accident. The SUV pulled out in front of me, I had no time to react!"

Barry scoffed. "Yeah right, punk. Let me guess, you were on the pipe again?"

"No Barry, I'm off that stuff! You've gotta believe m-"

Suddenly a giant bare foot came down in front of Barry, crushing the mosquito. Barry looked up and saw Vanessa smirk at him, sangria in her hand. Then she silently walked away.

"What a bitch," Barry thought.

The rest of the day dragged on. Barry smoked cigarette after cigarette. He would've tried to steal some of Vanessa's liquor, but he knew the consequences if he was caught. He looked out the window again. The city was slowing down, falling asleep. Robots following their programming. Spurred on only by the promise of a divine reward.

"Cowards," Barry thought. He took another puff and coughed. The smoke had completely filled his tiny bee body. He doubled over in pain and fell to the hardwood floor. The floor was as cold as a drinking a glass of water after you chew a piece of mint gum. Except way colder than that.

Barry felt enormous pain as he started to succumb to tobacco poisoning. He saw Vanessa stumble into the room and make eye contact with him. She was holding a bottle of vodka now.

"Vanessa...kill me." Barry pleaded.

Vanessa just laughed at his plight and left the shop.

"Wh...what a bitch..."

Barry couldn't take the pain anymore. He had to end it. He crawled over to the couch and took a deep breath before plunging his stinger into the fabric. The pounding rain coming from the sky started to subside into a light drizzle. As the stinger left his body, Barry sighed in relief. It would all bee over soon.


 
Jono
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Goodness gracious, great balls of lightning!
I have been summoned back with an update on my personal life, comrades. It seems my penis is doing well, perhaps even better than before. No circumcision required, just removal of a small skin tag. The foreskin can now be pulled down farther than before for increased pleasure, and I can even look like cut guys. It can also be cleaned much better now, and it's overall hygiene has been increased.

Next, I have a full-time teaching interview this afternoon; although it is still a substitute position and different classes everyday. Meh...

Third, I met an amazing girl Saturday night. She is as nerdy as I am and literally likes most things that I do, and we really clicked. She is gorgeous and looks like Scarlet Johannsen mixed with Adele and Marilyn Monroe. She looks like a doll and we had instant chemistry. I'm glad we met each other, and I realized I don't want to just hook up. Only problem is she just got out of a four year relationship, so I don't want to seem too pushy with her. But she does want to see me again and watch the Force Awakens together on Wednesday. She is just as unlucky as I am. On our first date we went to a park with our coffees. It rained and we got soaked, she spilled hers, and by the end of the night my car battery had died.


Coomer | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Baby shoes for sale, never used.


Doctor Doom | Mythic Invincible!
 
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the one true God is Doctor Doom and we should all be worshiping him.
The Cask of Amontillado.


Dietrich Six | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Excuse me, I'm full of dog poison
Baby shoes for sale, never used.

I cri


Batch | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Welp I heard it while playing a game. But I liked it.

A man went to the forest to make an axe, so he asked the trees for wood for the handle

The trees gave him a sapling because they didnt want to lose their limbs

And eventually the man made his axe

Then returned to the forest and cut down the oldest trees.