Mad raver: Listen, listen you damned walkers, callous fools, classless morons!

Sir Hardun: What is it that annoys you so much to spurt your annoying use of language on us?

Mad raver: Ah, you are idiots as the rest of them! I hold myself solitary on this street, a vigilant in paupers rags, can't you see me? But I will tell you my exalted views on the world and I shall force you to recognize my radiant world insight!

Sir Cadrigan: Let's go, he's obviously mad-"

Mad Raver: I am the voice of reason here!

Sir Hardun: Not a person walking along these darkened alleys gives a single shit about whatever it is you blither on about

Sir Cadrigan: Hardun, Why bother with this madman? Can't you see the deranged look in his eye? The way he conducts himself as if he's a Lone wolf among a horde of sheep? Come Sir Hardun, he cares nothing for the likes of you and me, but sees himself only, a solitary priest in a world of sinners needing enlightenment when it is he that lies in this dark gutter, mumbling to himself and assaulting newcomers. I hope few people walk this way...

Sir Hardun:  Unhand me, friend! This nuisance must see the error of his ways! I refuse to let someone of his low caliber walk on me with his shitty musings! Come, help me against him!

Mad Raver: What are you trying to pull here- [pulls out a knife]

Sir Cadrigan: Shall we leave now?

Sir Hardun: Well, we don't have anything like that


[Knights back away from the madman and continue down the alleyway]

Scene II

Sir Cadrigan: Ah, the air feels a bit lighter here

Sir Hardun: Why couldn't you take offense to him?!

Sir Cadrigan: take offense, you have that sense of pride that allows umbrage to affect you, the same kind that Raver sulks with in the dark.

Sir Hardun: What am I now, a monster?

Sir Cadrigan: Monsters live in the dark, they sustain a certain flame of hatred, they may live under bridges for all I know. No, Hardun, as long as you walk beside me you'll never hunch low on scaly haunches

Sir Hardun: So what, you fancy yourself a samaritan then? What, you prevent the would-be sinners from sinning? What are you, a priest? What are you, god?

Sir Cadrigan: There's good skepticism in your voice. That's precisely what I preach, skepticism. You'll be taken in by nothing and be taken by nothing. To care for these alleys is a mistake, and the ones who try cleansing its denizens most become the dirtiest refuse. I stay away from care, for it makes monsters of good people.

[Enter Shadow]

Sir Hardun: By god, what is that thing?

Sir Cadrigan: I don't see it

Hardun: No? There [points] I see it, is it feigning death over there?

[Shadow lifts itself]

Shadow: look at me, look at me! See my lovely form, tormented by this awful darkness?!

Sir Cadrigan: I can't see much of anything, actually

Shadow: Here, come closer and inspect me you two fine fellows, come to me

Sir Cadrigan: I'd rather not

Sir Hardun: Perhaps we should listen to what it has to say, it may really be a lovely creature! Who can tell with all this darkness?

Sir Cadrigan: What, are you Sir hard-on now? Don't think with your cock in a place like this. Everything is transient in darkness, even ladies. I don't trust it.

Shadow: Ah, another horrid critic! Such woe is me, I am agony! Surely there's no worse creature alive than I. Don't pity me, men, I am so lost.

Sir Hardun: come on, have a heart! This one, unlike the last, needs us! Don't you see that?

Sir Cadrigan: What is this thing you keep seeing? I can't see anything! And you [gestures towards the darkness], you who steal openly from Oedipus, shame on you! You discredit pain itself with your bitching!

Shadow: Your words burn, stranger
(Aside: Yes!)
and I like it so! Yes, hear me, let one see me, come closer you, and you, berate me so. This attention is simply arousing!

Sir Cadrigan: What a sick creature! Such sadistic tendencies!

Shadow: Yes, I'm low, yes, scum! Continue my sweet critic, and I'll bathe in your loathing, I'll be your mistress of misery, the more you hate me, the more I'll love you!

Sir Hardun: (Aside- I must admit, I'm drawn to her, though I can't say why).

Sir Hardun: My friend, can't you see? You give her precisely what she wants! If you give in so willingly, accompany me in servicing her other need.

Sir Cadrigan: You can't even see it! I can't even see it! How do we know it's even there?! Why would we want to know? Can't YOU see that the pathetic creature isn't worth another second of our time? Can't it see that its existence is something trivial and sick? Can you see, lascivious lady of shadow, your pointlessness and your baseness? I have an answer for you, alleviate us of yourself and dissipate in the light!

Sir Hardun: Stay friend! You're taking this much too far! You care too much about this topic, you make yourself a monster!

Sir Cadrigan: [covers face with hand] Let's leave this place, I'm sick of darkness, I need some light. Damn you morning, you wait too long!

Lady of Shadow [rising]:
Stay here a bit longer with me, until sunrise! Then I'll cease to exist and we may both have our wishes.

Sir Hardun: Ah, see her now? There she is, taller before us, just a shade lighter than the lightless alley. I wonder...

Sir Cadrigan: When is morning anyway?

Sir Hardun: I'm curious, Lady Shadows, can you see us?

Lady of Shadow: From here, you both look dark.

Sir Hardun: On this level, I'll bet we all look the same.

Sir Cadrigan: No we don't!

Sir Hardun: But think for a moment, friend. Here you are, about to attack her with another volley of insults when you're as indistinguishable from the dark as she is. We all blend in here even if we say we don't. All of us are part of the darkness.

Sir Cadrigan:  Fine. May we leave now? I can't stand her.

Sir Hardun: Sure, but after you apologize for being a hypocritical ass.

Sir Cadrigan: I won't apologize for her, I don't care for her.

Sir Hardun: You are your own kind of monster, Sir Cadrigan.

Sir Cadrigan: Aren't we all?

[Exit Lady Shadow]

Sir Hardun: She's gone, and there's no more reason to stay. I wonder why she left...

Sir Cadrigan: I don't care.

[Exit Sit Hardun and Sir Cadrigan]

Sir Hardun: Why shouldn't we go inside? What are you afraid of, hypocrisy? You've already showed me the value of your ideals, friend!

Sir Cadrigan: What does the inside matter? It's light enough out here. Are you hoping to find something in there, in a place like this? Girls? Adventure? Glory?

Sir Hardun: Unlike you, I still like to have fun. Come on, the building isn't a prison, and we aren't inmates. We have nothing to worry about except how much fun we can have. Come on, let's laugh a bit tonight!

Club goer: Hello chaps! Are you going inside?  Plenty room for more!

Sir Cadrigan: Actually we were about to-

Sir Hardun: walk inside and enjoy ourselves. Lead the way!

Club Goer: It's right this way!

Sir Hardun: And here goes our gloom, you'll see!

Sir Cadrigan: Aside: And here goes our last shreds of decency.

[ Club Goer, Sir Cadrigan, And Sir Hardun walk inside. A sea of people fan out before them.]

Sir Hardun: Well, would you look at this place!

 Sir Cadrigan: Where is our guide?

Sir Hardun: [looks around] Ha! I don't know. I suppose he got lost in the crowd. My, there are a lot of people in here!

Sir Cadrigan: I've always heard Hell was rather crowded.

Sir Hardun: Don't be an ass. Here, let's see if these people want to dance!

Sir Cadrigan: I'd rather not.

Sir Hardun [to dancers]: Mind if two deadbeats join in?

Dancers:  [...]

Sir Hardun: Strange, they seem to be ignoring us.

Sir Cadrigan: Capital observation captain obvious!

Sir Hardun: Ah, those talkers over there must have something good going on. Come on!

Christians: Why do you always ask us these stupid questions about the lord, they're juvenile!

Atheists: Why don't you provide enough evidence to prove your god's existence?!

Christians: It's a matter of faith! Some things can't be proven! Who are you to tell us what to believe?

Atheists: Ha! You can't follow your own advice, hypocrites! How can you expect us to believe any of the drivel spouting from your mouths!

Christians: What disrespect!

Atheists: What hypocrisy!

Christians: What idiots!

Atheists: To hell with you!

Sir Cadrigan: Let's not get involved-

[Atheists and Christians begin brawling]

Sir Hardun: Look at them go! Do they really fight like this for their beliefs, or their pride?

Sir Cadrigan: Both if you ask me.

[Something flashes across the room]

Sir Cadrigan: Oh, see that?

Sir Hardun: See what? There's too much to see!

Sir Cadrigan: I thought I saw a glint of something across the way.

Sir Hardun: Don't tell me its the door.

Sir Cadrigan: Nothing that luminous, no, not an escape sign. Follow me further into the crowd, friend.

Sir Hardun: Alright, this place demands exploring!

[Both approach a massive stone table, arrayed with golden eggs]

Sir Cadrigan: Incredible.

Gambler:  Why hello there, chaps. Come to converse with us gamblers?

Sir Hardun: That depends... [staring at eggs] do we get to play?

Gambler: You have something better, the chance at any of these eggs!

Sir Cadrigan: I don't like this

Sir Hardun: Do you like anything?

Gambler: Ahem... We had a misunderstanding with one of our players. They took our assets, chiefly, playing cards. If you stick around for a bit our circumstances should improve.

Sir Cadrigan: A bit doesn't measure time

Gambler: Say, until sunrise.

Sir Cadrigan: We're doomed

Sir Hardun: The sun has to come out eventually, and I think I'd enjoy the company of these people. There will be cards, after all [still eyeing the eggs]

Sir Cadrigan: But see, at this rate, we'll never get to play! We'll wait for cards, cards! The very idea sounds ridiculous! Why are we going to wait for cards?

Sir Hardun: [Whisper] Because then we'll get a shot at those treasures!

Sir Cadrigan: Somehow, I don't trust my eyes when I look at them. I think this is a sham.

Sir Hadrun: So what isn't a sham then? Do you trust anything?

Sir Cadrigan: Skepticism doesn't look kindly upon trust. It's like a sheep eyeing a wolf in sheep's clothing

Sir Hardun: Why did you even come out tonight if you're just going to ruin all the fun?

Sir Cadrigan: I'm keeping you safe, friend

Sir Hardun: That's a laugh! Say, where were you when that Mad Raver tried to jump us? I think you were well ahead of me when we retreated.

Sir Cadrigan: As I recall, you ran with me! I was close by your side, that's where I'm needed most.

Sir Hardun: Really? Were you by MY side when you insulted that lady back in the street? I think you were quite content berating her by yourself

Sir Cadrigan: Friend, she was an insult to everyone, an affront to my sanity. What could I do?

Sir Hardun: If you cared about anything, you would have done nothing, like you preach with your "skepticism"

Sir Cadrigan: You make my reality sound fake

Sir Hardun: That's because it is! Your "reality" doesn't exist!

Sir Cadrigan: Why you- [Sir Cadrigan clamps a hand over his mouth, stands up, and walks away]

Sir Hardun: You really can't do much of anything, can you? Can't even stay by my side, dear friend? Can't even defend yourself? Fine! I don't need you. Stay away from me!
(Aside: So much for friendship!)

[Exit Sir Cadrigan]

Gambler: Ah, where did your friend go?

Sir Hardun: He left. Couldn't stand the place. I can't stand him.

Gambler: I'm sorry to hear that. This place isn't really suited for some people. There's too much to see here, am I right?

Sir Hardun: Yes, yes there certainly is

Gambler: If you want, a few us are having a talk while we wait for cards. Care to join?

Sir Hardun: Yes, yes I would

[Exit Gambler and Sir Hardun]

[Sir Cadrigan is amongst the dancers]

Sir Cadrigan: My skepticism is wrong, really? True skepticism doesn't rely on absolute truth in anything! Skepticism shouldn't even take itself seriously! The nerve he has! Gah!

Dancer: Did you say something?

Sir Cadrigan: Hmm? Oh, not really... What's it to you?

Dancer: Just thought you were upset, nothing more.

Sir Cadrigan: Truth be told, it's just some stupid quarrel between peeved friends anyway, I bet it'll blow over by the end of the night.

Dancer: Yes, when the night is over...

Sir Cadrigan: Shit!

Dancer: What? What?

Sir Cadrigan: I almost forgot, night doesn't end here, does it? It doesn't seem that way, anyway.

Dancer: It's not over yet, I guess. I lose track of time here.

Sir Cadrigan: Do you come here often?

Dancer: You only have to come once to be a regular.

Sir Cadrigan: Ha! you make this place sound like a bad drug. Hahahahaha!

Dancer: What?

Sir Cadrigan: I'm just thinking, this would all seem like a bad trip to an outsider! Some clever joke by a cynic!

Dancer: I don't see what you mean.

Sir Cadrigan: Don't think about it. Just a little bit of my madness, nothing more. Say, how long have you been here?

Dancer: I don't really know. Hard to say.

Sir Cadrigan: Come on, you must have some idea. What about purpose, why are you here?

Dancer: I suppose I didn't like it much outside, so my friends and I came in, like you and your friend. We wandered about for a while until-

Sir Cadrigan: Until what?

Dancer: Until we ran by a table. The gamblers were going to play some game-

Sir Cadrigan: Let me guess, they didn't have any cards?

Dancer: Yes, that was it! There were no cards for Chicken poker!

Sir Cadrigan: Chickens? All I saw were the eggs.

Dancer: The eggs? You should have seen the chickens. Heard they came from another club quite a while back. They were so much more valuable, they could lay those eggs!

Sir Cadrigan: Now don't tell me chickens lay golden eggs.

Dancer: Can anything really be logically explained in a place where the sun doesn't shine?

Sir Cadrigan: Indeed! Say, friend, would you mind teaching me to dance a bit? I like your company.

Dancer: Why not? We have time, don't we?

[Sir Cadrigan and Dancer start dancing, eventually melting into the crowd]

Scene III
[back at the gamblers den]

Gambler: That was some story, newcomer! What did you say his name was again?

New Gambler: Come to think of it, I can't quite remember, it seems so long ago. Oh, it doesn't really matter, I'm pretty content with you fellows now [eyes eggs]

Gambler: That's unfortunate! I'd like to have met him; he sounds like quite a character, though a bit boorish.

New Gambler: Say, are those cards coming? I'm starting to feel anxious.

Gambler: Oh, that feeling will pass, and I'm sure the cards will be here soon enough.

New Gambler: Then we can play?

Gambler: Yes, you can play, win even. But for now let's talk some more.

New Gambler: I do grow tired of conversation though.

Gambler: Perhaps you should dance; I believe I saw your friend go that way.

New Gambler: Friend? What friend?

Gambler: Oh, you've already forgotten him? Truly?

New Gambler: Yes.

Gambler: Well, I do suppose they come and go, especially in a place like this. Really sets the blood on fire, don't you think?

New Gambler: It's difficult to withhold judgement at night, can't see a damn thing and everything looks dangerous.

Gambler: Yes, but we will have our Chicken Poker when all is said and done, what does anything else matter?

New Gambler: We will have it?

Gambler: Of course. When the sun comes up over the rooftops and shines down into these dark alleyways, the people will stop dancing, there will be no more waiting I assure you. The eggs will be waiting, and who doesn't want gold? Don't worry, we'll all get a chance...

New Gambler: When the night is over?

Gambler: Yes, newcomer, when the night is over.

End