And no, I'm not being dramatic. You're just interpreting what I'm saying as dramatic so that you can shrug it off as an excuse to say that drinking at a young age is fine and dandy and that being a functioning alcoholic is actually some magical condition where alcohol no longer affects you and that you can pull a successful life out of your fucking ass because of it.

I never said that. Alcohol dependence is of course still terrible, but functional alcoholics can still be considered successful by financial and career standards. I also wouldn't say it's the point of no return. This of course is anecdotal, but my old friend's dad was a functional alcoholic all throughout my childhood, but started going to AA four or so years ago and stopped drinking. They may not be extremely prevalent, but cases like that are far from uncommon.