that you want the whole world to experience you? But you don't know how to share yourself to everyone and you're thinking about going public etc and end up becoming anxious that people are missing out. I felt like that around the end of August and it was nice. I can't feel like that anymore because I don't feel like there's anyone I can spend my energy for. That thought is holding me back, and every weekend I feel sad because I love people but I'm alone. Heck, my whole life I've kinda been lonely. I never really bought into the whole girlfriend thing, but I need a sort of real friend, so maybe I should try to find one. I don't see another way to escape my sadness; my only sadness and negativity in life.

I'm rather pretty by my school's standards--engineering students aren't the most fashion-minded individuals, but I'm a hermit and generally a loner, so I'm happy to keep it to myself.