Chav Thread, It's time for a bongarong.

 
 
Mr. Psychologist
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<.<
Alright fellow britbongs, europoors and our friends across the sea <.<
Disable your anti-british filters to appreciate this thread in it's entirety.
Spoiler
Example of the filter blocking out the image of a cup of tea.

For information on how to do so visit this site.
www.howtodisabletheantibritbongfilter.com

With that out of the way, you can now enjoy the entirety of the Chav thread.

Some soothing music to help set the mood
Bongarong
YouTube

Chav Fights
AND WOT
YouTube

NAH I'M NOT FAKIN KIDDIN BRAV
YouTube

The Chav Chariot
YouTube

Bouncer Assassination takedown
YouTube

Observe the chav on horseback
YouTube

Bonus Video
YouTube



Next up: The Anatomy of the Chav

Anatomy of the Chav

Article 1, Headwear.
Typically the chav will wear either a baseball cap and/or hoodie. For the yanks and europoors among us, that is a hooded jumper or tracksuit.
Article 2, Bling.
In order to attract a mate* a chav will wear as much shiny fake gold as it is possible to move it. It is not shown on this filthy pleb as it is concealed by his burberry tracksuit.
Article 3, The tracksuit.
The most ubiquitous of Chav clothing, typically sportswear or other tasteless crap from high street clothing stores.
Article 4, The trainers.
No chav is complete without a pair of ridiculously overpriced sports trainers, these are an extension of the bling mentioned in article 2.
Article 5, The slouch.
Very rarely you will ever encounter a Chav walking or standing normally, they are always either doing some kind of moronic swagger that looks like they have defecated themselves or they are just blind drunk at 9 in the morning. They prop themselves up on lampposts, walls, windows and other street furniture to maintain their balance and to "LOOK FOOKIN 'ARD"

*A mate can both refer to a spawning partner and an acquaintance who will help you kick old lady's heads in.

Comparisons may be drawn between Chav dialect and the particular version of Orkish found in Warhammer 40,000.
Here is an example of such an accent.
Spoiler
YouTube

Another interesting thing to note is what Chav stands for, much debate among pseudo-intellectuals on wikipedia and the guardian tries to dispel the idea that it stands for Council Housed and Violent, but anyone with any first hand experience of such degenerate creatures will know that the acronym is entirely correct.

Chav reproduction.
Little is known about just how Chavs manage to replicate themselves in such large numbers but several credible scientists have again drawn comparison to the Orks of Warhammer 40,000. They reproduce their sheer numbers as a part of their perculiar biology in which they are actually a form of sentient fungal xenos that when killed releases thousands of spores into the air which will eventually grow into other individual orks. The hypothesis is that when a Chav and a Chavette come into contact in the Dole queue, they release the corresponding halves of their spores into the air which combine to produce infectious particles, capable of mutating otherwise pleasant schoolchildren into yet more of their disgusting ilk.
The counter point is that by constantly feeding them benefits they are able to spend all day fornicating and as they are too stupid to use contraception they reproduce at a rate comparable to rodents.

This information has been brought to you by the Campaign for the Extermination of all Chav Inbred Lifeforms.
Or CECIL.


For more information on how to properly counter the virulent threat of the chav menace, please keep your eyes peeled for the update to the Original Post.


BC | Legendary Inconceivable!
 
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Oh, hey.
This...is magnificent.


 
challengerX
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
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Hahahaha very funny Zonda
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RIP ENDIE
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Last Edit: October 13, 2014, 06:05:25 PM by ねこ


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My stupidity is self evident.
Oh, oh god. . .


 
Mat Cauthon
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[Shitposting Quietly]


 
Mat Cauthon
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>tfw American ghettos have class compared to the UK

feels weird mang
There are English ghettos?

That third fight is outside Buckingham Palace.
Last Edit: October 13, 2014, 06:11:02 PM by Byrne


 
gats
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You will find out who you are not a thousand times, before you ever discover who you are. I hope you find peace in yourself and learn to love instead of hate.
Ah London I've seen my fair share of chavs on London buses.
Playing their music out loud at the back until a black guy comes on and they shut up and turn their phones off. lol


 
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
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Mat Cauthon
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>tfw American ghettos have class compared to the UK

feels weird mang
There are English ghettos?

That third fight is outside Buckingham Palace.
Maybe not technically ghettos but shitty neighborhoods.
Spoiler
I was implying it's all shit


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"flaming nipple chops"-Your host, the man they call Ghost.

To say, 'nothing is true', is to realize that the foundations of society are fragile, and that we must be the shepherds of our own civilization. To say, 'everything is permitted', is to understand that we are the architects of our actions, and that we must live with their consequences, whether glorious or tragic.
Not hearing "Bitch! AH not my weave!" makes England seem even weirder.


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The angel agreed to trade a set of white wings for the head of another demon. Overjoyed, the demon killed one of his own and plucked the head right off its still-warm body.

The angel then led the demon to heaven, where he underwent centuries of the cruelest tortures imaginable. Finally, the pain was so great that he lost consciousness - at which point his dark wings turned the promised shade of white.
._.


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oh my head that is horrid


CIS | Legendary Invincible!
 
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This is quite possibly one of the best threads ever made on this site. 


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Your love gets me so high
OI! U MAKIN FOON OF ME WIT DIS THRED M8? LETS FOOKIN RUMBLE M8 IM DA SIKKEST BLOKE U WILL EVA MEET


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01001001 01101101 00100000 01100111 01101111 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01110010 01101111 01110111 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110011 01110000 01101001 01100100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101
If you though Chavs were bad...

Spoiler



 
True Turquoise
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fuck you
I find this extremely offensive and against my culture. I'm reporting you and you will be removed from the mod team.


Have a nice day fgt.


 
Mat Cauthon
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I find this extremely offensive and against my culture. I'm reporting you and you will be removed from the mod team.


Have a nice day fgt.
I saw you on Xbox Live the other day.

Your gamertag is: XxxButtHurtAllDayxxX


 
True Turquoise
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fuck you
I find this extremely offensive and against my culture. I'm reporting you and you will be removed from the mod team.


Have a nice day fgt.
I saw you on Xbox Live the other day.

Your gamertag is: XxxButtHurtAllDayxxX
I saw you too xxIsukdiksxx


 
Mat Cauthon
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I find this extremely offensive and against my culture. I'm reporting you and you will be removed from the mod team.


Have a nice day fgt.
I saw you on Xbox Live the other day.

Your gamertag is: XxxButtHurtAllDayxxX
I saw you too xxIsukdiksxx

>Trying this hard


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Wow, I heard Chavs were horrible, but not this bad.


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TUNNEL SNAKES RULE
(ง ͡͡ ° ͜ ʖ ͡ °)ง
Least you don't have a parliament like Ukraine's

YouTube


Assassin 11D7 | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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"flaming nipple chops"-Your host, the man they call Ghost.

To say, 'nothing is true', is to realize that the foundations of society are fragile, and that we must be the shepherds of our own civilization. To say, 'everything is permitted', is to understand that we are the architects of our actions, and that we must live with their consequences, whether glorious or tragic.
Least you don't have a parliament like Ukraine's

YouTube

That sounds like a great team-building exercise


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So am I to understand that Chavs are comparable to wiggers?

Spoiler
This is my favorite thread I've seen so far.


 
 
Mr. Psychologist
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<.<
So am I to understand that Chavs are comparable to wiggers?

Spoiler
This is my favorite thread I've seen so far.

Somewhat >.>

I'd say they are more akin to rednecks without guns.


The Lord Slide Rule | Legendary Invincible!
 
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My stupidity is self evident.
So am I to understand that Chavs are comparable to wiggers?

Spoiler
This is my favorite thread I've seen so far.

Wiggers are usually affluent suburban white kids that act ghetto because they think it's cool.

I'd be more inclined to say these people are more comparable to the actual ghetto folk.


 
big sponge
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Nice paid actors.

Chavs don't exist.


Raw Sugar | Heroic Unstoppable!
 
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Sick humour, no respect.
My cousin is a Canadian chav it sounds like. You were spot on with the describing.