also a really angry and depressing one, so
if you're having a good day, don't let me rain on it

I already know none of you are gonna take this seriously, so I don't expect serious or thoughtful responses, but regardless, I'm in the worst mood I've ever been in... well, about a week. And I feel like taking some people down with me.

For some of you, I'm gonna sound like a broken record, because I talk about this all the fucking time, but it just eats and eats at me and when it peaks, I just go fucking insane because I can't handle it.

So...

I just got my grades back for my first semester of college. Straight As, except for one B-. That's not bad, huh? That's good. Yeah.
Not so special now, huh. Normally, I'd be pretty happy--I mean, I've never had straight As in my life, because I always slacked off in high school. It was bad. But now things are changing. I'm doing my work, getting things done, and everything's dandy.

But then I have all these people--mostly on the Internet, but I get this in real life, too, all the time--who just like to put me down. My grades mean nothing, because I'm studying such a useless subject that's not going to get me a lucrative career in the future. Because that's all that I should care about is money.

No, don't be yourself, don't follow your dreams. Be like us. Go into some STEM subject that you have no interest in. Then you can actually make money and people will care about you.

...But what if I have no interest in any of those subjects? What if I can't do math and don't have any background with engineering? What if I have this talent for writing that I'd like to explore and hone?

Doesn't matter. If you aren't studying STEM, enjoy flipping burgers for the rest of your life. Your grades mean nothing, because you're studying a pointless subject.

Okay, so what you're telling me to do is switch to some kind of engineering major, just like everyone the FUCK else in my generation, to go into a career that I don't have my heart in, have no interest in whatsoever, just so that I can make more money?

Yes.

What if that doesn't make me happy? Writing makes me happy. I was quite happy with my major until you decided to piss all over everything that I enjoy. The one thing that I enjoy in the world--THE ONE THING--I can't enjoy it, because it's not "practical".

Yes.

You realize I've given myself purpose with writing, right? And if I had it taken away from me, I would have no purpose, right?

Oh, quit being dramatic. Who doesn't like money?

I fucking hate money. And I fucking hate you, and your pretentious cocksuckery. I'm going to continue with my major, and I don't give a cunt what you think about it. This notion that I have to study some shitty STEM subject--that I HAVE to do what everyone else is doing just to make a living, is a fucking joke. I fucking hate life as it is. Why make myself even MORE miserable by committing myself to a subject that I don't have a single iota of fucking interest in?

It makes me want to just spit blood into your shit-eating face. Find me a single goddamn subject--Hey, law, I could totally go into law. I love law. "Well, you'd have to go out of state, and take another two years or four years of college..." If that's what I fucking want to do, though, why does it FUCKING matter? What the fuck do you want from me? This is horseshit.

Everything that I want to do, I can't do it.
Everything that I like, everything that makes me happy.
I'm just wasting my time with it, huh.
I should be even more miserable, because fuck me and my interests.
And you wonder why I lash out at people for their interests?

This was supposed to be a happy moment for me, but because of society's perceptions of worth, I can't be. Sometimes, I like to convince myself that I was just born in the body and mind of a person who just doesn't belong here--that I wasn't conditioned to be who I was. The more and more I get to know society, however, the more I discover that it's actually the latter that's true. Society is not to blame for all my idiosyncrasies, but I know in my heart that there is not a single thing that society can do to discourage me from doing what I want to do with my life.

I will continue being made to feel useless.
I will continue being made to feel like I'm wasting my life.
I will continue to be harassed by cocksuckers and STEM elitists.

And I will continue to respond, as I always have, in the same exact way:

Fuck you.

Fuck off.

wow you really are pathetic lol

didn't you say you were gonna stop being so pathetic

I don't alwyas talk to liberal arts majors, but when I do, I'm usually ordering a coffee at Starbucks.

TL;DGAF

Quote from: Grapes on December 18, 2014, 01:06:52 AM

TL;DGAF

That's even more fascinating. I don't even know you, so like... even if you did read it, and had some real input, I'd probably disregard it anyway on the account that you're... nobody.

Holy shit... I think I actually felt those hitmarkers.

what is even going on in this thread

Quote from: Nuka on December 18, 2014, 01:11:21 AM

what is even going on in this thread

It's really not that hard to tell.

Everything past the OP is really confusing.

Maybe people are telling you that a liberal arts degree isn't helpful because its not actually helpful. Maybe they're trying to save you a lifetime of regret and misery.

By all means pursue what you enjoy, but understand that that comes with a tougher living and no guarantess. If you're a freshman in college you probably don't understand just how hard that can get at times. Tens of thousands of dollars a difference a year is a big thing.

But rule number one is to not let stress irl transfer onto the internet. Because that'll just beget more stress. Its usually far better to get out and go for a walk and get away from people. Chillax

I tend to be a dick to people who are acting dickish. I found your attitude grating so I returned in kind.
If you'd lighten up on certain subjects and stop stating your opinions as facts we'd probably get along peachy.

Not that you can read this since I'm muted. 

Quote from: Nuka on December 18, 2014, 01:16:21 AM

Everything past the OP is really confusing.

the first three replies are me

taking the role of you, the audience

mocking you, mocking me.

because those three responses are typically what i get when i try to talk about anything personal
i did your job for you

uh...huh....
right. okay then.

you feeling okay?

Maybe people are telling you that a liberal arts degree isn't helpful because its not actually helpful. Maybe they're trying to save you a lifetime of regret and misery.

This is why you're fucking muted. Studying something that I have no interest in will make me hate my life even more. It will.

It fucking. Will.

Because I'm not doing what I want!

If you can't understand that basic fact, go fuck every ounce of yourself. Prick.

What do you like writing about? If you do fiction, I'd love to hear some of it.

Sure. Yeah, I write fiction.

you feeling okay?

Nope!

Thanks for asking, pal!

Go for 2 degrees at once. Major in something that will help you support yourself. Make your dream your Minor IF it is something like Music, where there isn't much job security.

Thanks. I appreciate the advice.

Quote from: Nuka on December 18, 2014, 01:23:06 AM

you feeling okay?

Nope!

Thanks for asking, pal!

>.>

Quote

Private message from user BL:
Kill yourself

See, nah, I don't really feel like doing that, though. That would mean all the fuckers who want to see me die--they win. So, shit, can't have that, can I.

If you report that, I'm sure his ban will get extended.

YOU CAN REPORT MY FIST UP YOUR ASS BITCH

dude i wasn't gonna report you

you don't have to be afraid