Avengers Infinity War HYPE THREAD

FUCKING 10/10! ABSOLUTE FUCKING KINO!

Saw it.

Yeah. Didn’t see Disney having the balls to do that.

Saw it.

Yeah. Didn’t see Disney having the balls to do that.

speaking of balls

Spoiler

When Thanos SNAPPED to get rid of the niggers.

Disney really out did themselves

Now, here’s an interesting question:

Spoiler

Was Thanos really a villain? I can’t really fault his logic. He wanted to avoid extinction due to overpopulation. He didn’t see any species capable of stopping unchecked growth. He just removed the choice. I don’t know. That kinda makes Verb Thanos.

>He wanted to avoid extinction 
>That kinda makes Verb Thanos

Verb wants extinction

Now, here’s an interesting question:

Spoiler

Was Thanos really a villain? I can’t really fault his logic. He wanted to avoid extinction due to overpopulation. He didn’t see any species capable of stopping unchecked growth. He just removed the choice. I don’t know. That kinda makes Verb Thanos.

Spoiler

mass genocide instead of just making resources or whatever with the Infinity Gauntlet seems a bit extreme

Now, here’s an interesting question:

Spoiler

Was Thanos really a villain? I can’t really fault his logic. He wanted to avoid extinction due to overpopulation. He didn’t see any species capable of stopping unchecked growth. He just removed the choice. I don’t know. That kinda makes Verb Thanos.

Spoiler

mass genocide instead of just making resources or whatever with the Infinity Gauntlet seems a bit extreme

Spoiler

He didn’t do mass genocide though. He culled half the population of sentient beings. He did this out of what he saw happen to Titan. I don’t think he could make resources infinite. Look what happened to him and the glove by wishing half the universe dead. There’s clearly a limit on what the MCU gauntlet can do. This isn’t the comic one. In the comics Thor couldn’t have touched him.  I think, given the limitations, he chose the most expedient option.

Spoiler

If they had left Spider-Man alive, I might have bought that this isn’t just going to be undone in the next one.

Spoiler

It was okay.

The character juggling was handled better than I expected but there was some semblance of favouritism I found. I think Cap had what, like 10 lines in total? I barely remember him in this film at all.

Thanos is good, probably the best MCU villain they have to offer right now, although that's not saying much. His motives were pretty retarded though. They basically turned him into a cosmic pest controller. "Hurr durr cull half the population of a literal infinite universe because there's not enough mouths to feed durr". Whatever Russo's.

I did however like the guilt character arc they're going with him, especially that dream sequence segment with kid Gamora. Feel like they could incorporate more of that into their film's.

I thought Disney were actually going to be ballsy with the culling act of the film but then I realised that none of the main Avengers were affected in any way, and 90% of the characters that died have already several sequels in the pipeline, so I don't really feel like their deaths are going to be all that impactful.

Overall it was a fairly watchable experience that I have no particular interest in seeing again. Pretty much what I expected from a MCU film bar a couple of tidbits that surprised me.

6/10
 

Spoiler

pretty good film. doesnt specialise in much, its more of a jack of all trades in terms of quality. it felt both too long and rushed at the same time; having a lot of plot threads bogged down the flow of the film, even if individually they all work well. i dont feel as though it took any risks. thanos' motivation is absolutely retarded but his convincing performance works. he's no Ultron though. im not sure how theyd address these issues in the future. some characters didnt get enough spotlight but i didnt feel anyone got too much... i guess thats the problem with a cast of this size. good effort but would have liked to have seen something a little more unexpected.

You guys expect too much. The whole point of a blockbuster is you switch your brain off and enjoy the spectacle. If you want thought provoking movies you go to the indie shows.

“Why can’t you just turn your brain off and enjoy something?”

Ask any critic for a list of their top 5 most annoying frequent comments, and this question is sure to be on there. Aside from the fact that it basically undermines the entire practice of criticism, what makes this question so frustrating is that it’s bullshit. No one is actually able to just turn their brain off and enjoy something–and if they were, then they’d have no reason to consume media in the first place–they’d be perfectly entertained by staring at a fucking wall.

Not having any critical judgement about anything is the same thing as literally having no taste. As soon as you’re able to distinguish between things that you like, and things that you dislike, then you’ve proven yourself to have a standard of critical judgement, even if you can’t define it.

But as much as I’d love to keep pulling this phrase apart and making fun of it, there’s another, slightly more nuanced question which critics get asked all the time that I think gets closer to the heart of what these people are really asking.

“Do you hate fun?”

There was a moment towards the end of the Winter anime season when I was watching Myriad Colors Phantom World and I legitimately stopped, took a step back, and asked myself, “do I hate fun? Because it’s pretty clear that this show has no real intentions of being anything other than fun; and yet I’m not having any fun, and I hate this. Is something wrong with me?”

Later into the show, there was a specific moment when I realized entirely why this show was not fun. It was during a scene wherein all of the main characters were being dragged into performing a school play by the head of the drama club, and where at some point it was revealed that the standoffish loner character who’d never been made an official member of the group was also there for literally no reason–at least in the context of the narrative. The meta reason for this character to be there is that it would theoretically be fun to have the entire primary cast participating in this play–but what I realized in this moment is that the prospect of having this character around meant nothing to me.

I did not care about this character at all. She had never done anything cool, she didn’t have an interesting personality or backstory, and she overall left very little impression on me. The idea that having her play a part in this school play would somehow make the episode more fun was totally lost on me, because I didn’t give a shit.

While ruminating on that, I remembered a time in which I did indeed have fun. It was in December of 2006, when I first marathoned the first season of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. In that show, there was an episode wherein Haruhi and Yuki were recruited for a school festival performance by a band who’s guitarists were both out of commission. The main emotional crux of the episode revolved around Haruhi’s involvement with this band–but Yuki was pretty much there just for fun; and her inclusion was absolutely genius.

That’s because Yuki is an incredibly fun character. She’s basically an alien with the power to bend reality, who uses those powers to do hilariously mundane things in everyday scenarios; and she’s got a really memorable personality and does all kinds of super-badass things. There’s a moment of realization when Yuki picks up the guitar and starts shredding these huge-ass riffs and solos that of course she can play the guitar perfectly, because she can learn pretty much anything; but the setup for it is so well-earned that it goes a long way in crafting what is overall one of the most legendary scenes in anime.

Fun is not something that you get to have without trying. Fun has to be earned. You don’t get to have fun by sitting around on the couch doing nothing; to have fun you have to do something–and likewise, if you want to make others have fun, then you have to work for it. You can’t just dangle keys in front of someone’s face and expect them to be entertained if they’re over the age of 1, because they’ve seen that shit before and they’ve got standards.

There are no shortage of ways that a series can achieve fun–even without the use of brilliant writing, deep characters, or profound themes. Sometimes, the key to making something fun is just to not fuck anything up. Recently, I encountered a pair of shows which both took a very similar approach to trying to create the pure sensation of fun–but whose level of success in doing so came down largely to each show’s margin of error.

Heavy Object is a show about a small team of soldiers who are tasked with trying to take down these gigantic metal war machines called Objects through the use of knowledge and tactics. The appeal of each arc was just in watching these characters try to distinguish and then exploit the unique weaknesses of each enemy Object–all while running around and wisecracking with a brisk, light tone. There is no reason that Heavy Object couldn’t have been a fun show, and it very nearly succeeded at being one for me. However, what kept taking me out of the experience and spoiling the fun was all the little piece of dumb bullshit.

Like how in just about every firefight, there’ll be a scene wherein the characters get spotted by the enemy, but have just enough time to wisecrack back and forth before the enemy starts shooting. Or how most of the time when they’re being shot at, they seem to be right in the enemy’s line-of-sight, and pressured under heavy gunfire, but miraculously never get hit, while constantly taking out enemy soldiers. Or how in this scene wherein their teammate accidentally fires her anti-personnel guns at them, they stand there staring while an epic rain of bullets falls all around them. Or how in this scene, the characters are sneaking into an enemy base while the guards aren’t paying attention, and the one guy just leaves the door open like he’s asking the enemy to notice. Et cetera.

On their own, none of these moments are that big of a deal–but what happens when all of them are stacked on top of each other is that they keep me thinking about things that I shouldn’t be thinking about, and slowly eat away at the dramatic tension of each scene. How am I ever meant to believe that the main characters’ lives are in danger, when they can make enormous tactical mistakes on a constant basis and never suffer any repercussions? If the appeal of this series is meant to be the use of strategy to overcome seemingly impossible odds, then why does it feel like luck is always on the side of the main characters, and like they can’t possibly lose?

This isn’t to say that I’m totally averse to shows that are just about crazy ridiculous bullshit–but this show isn’t nearly over-the-top enough to be fun on that level. If you’re gonna have a story where the rules of reality barely apply, then you really have to go over-the-top for it to leave any kind of impression. At the very least, if this show had been really nice-looking, or had well-directed action scenes and great animation, then it might have been cool enough to look at that I’d want to watch it anyways–but given that the show is uglier than sin, it has no such qualities.

Which brings me to a show from last season that succeeded in all of the places where Heavy Object failed, called High School Fleet. This one is about a bunch of cute high school girls who end up commanding a battleship, which they use to fight against other student ships while some light mystery plot unfolds around them. The story is nothing noteworthy–but it is very tightly paced and written, without any parts that drag or get boring. Its characters are simple and easy to understand, but all of them work to keep the series brisk and enjoyable. Its themes are as basic as they possibly could be, its action scenes aren’t particularly clever or tactical, and there’s not really any deep, philosophical, or unique reasons to enjoy the show.

However, High School Fleet is hella fun–because as long as you can buy into the central conceit of a bunch of cutesy moe girls running a battleship, the show doesn’t have any bullshit. Every action scene poses a legitimate threat to the characters’ lives, and there’s even some tension in the early part of the show over not being clear on how dark the series might eventually get. Each scene is paced and directed in such a way that the action is satisfying and engaging, even when there’s not a whole lot really going on; because it’s easy to understand the circumstances of each situation, and how those situations are affecting the characters.

And a lot of how the show accomplishes that is simply through the use of excellent visual design and animation. When there’s an action scene that’s meant to be frenetic and confusing, then we’ll get a shot of the ship’s scaredy-cat navigator frantically spinning the steering wheel while her eyes transform into spirals. When the crew are about to fire off a big fuck-off missile to assure their victory in a battle, then that missile launches with an impeccably staged and animated smoke effect. The music, voice acting, animation, and dialog all march in lockstep to create a tense and exciting scene in a show that you’ll probably never give all that much thought to when you’re not actually watching it–because the appeal of the show is that the actual act of watching it is fun.

And I love fun. I don’t think you’ll find a lot of people who actually hate fun. There are plenty of other things that media can to do be interesting besides being fun, but when something actually pulls off legitimate fun and does it well, then it’s worthy of being celebrated–and I think it would be insulting to the accomplishment of those works to suggest that the best way to appreciate the fun that they provide, is by turning your brain off.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHYmFJv_obY

It always comes back to anime.

As someone very cynical and somewhat tired of superhero movies, I really bloody enjoyed that.

I hope Korg was okay. Also, when Thanos called Peter an insect I was really hoping he'd quip back with 'I'm actually an arachnid,' but that's a very minor nitpick, lol. I rarely laugh at these films but Starlord doing a Thor impression had me in stitches.

I like the fact I have some semblance of a soul still left and found myself enjoying this a lot.

You guys expect too much. The whole point of a blockbuster is you switch your brain off and enjoy the spectacle. If you want thought provoking movies you go to the indie shows.

“Why can’t you just turn your brain off and enjoy something?”

Ask any critic for a list of their top 5 most annoying frequent comments, and this question is sure to be on there. Aside from the fact that it basically undermines the entire practice of criticism, what makes this question so frustrating is that it’s bullshit. No one is actually able to just turn their brain off and enjoy something–and if they were, then they’d have no reason to consume media in the first place–they’d be perfectly entertained by staring at a fucking wall.

Not having any critical judgement about anything is the same thing as literally having no taste. As soon as you’re able to distinguish between things that you like, and things that you dislike, then you’ve proven yourself to have a standard of critical judgement, even if you can’t define it.

But as much as I’d love to keep pulling this phrase apart and making fun of it, there’s another, slightly more nuanced question which critics get asked all the time that I think gets closer to the heart of what these people are really asking.

“Do you hate fun?”

There was a moment towards the end of the Winter anime season when I was watching Myriad Colors Phantom World and I legitimately stopped, took a step back, and asked myself, “do I hate fun? Because it’s pretty clear that this show has no real intentions of being anything other than fun; and yet I’m not having any fun, and I hate this. Is something wrong with me?”

Later into the show, there was a specific moment when I realized entirely why this show was not fun. It was during a scene wherein all of the main characters were being dragged into performing a school play by the head of the drama club, and where at some point it was revealed that the standoffish loner character who’d never been made an official member of the group was also there for literally no reason–at least in the context of the narrative. The meta reason for this character to be there is that it would theoretically be fun to have the entire primary cast participating in this play–but what I realized in this moment is that the prospect of having this character around meant nothing to me.

I did not care about this character at all. She had never done anything cool, she didn’t have an interesting personality or backstory, and she overall left very little impression on me. The idea that having her play a part in this school play would somehow make the episode more fun was totally lost on me, because I didn’t give a shit.

While ruminating on that, I remembered a time in which I did indeed have fun. It was in December of 2006, when I first marathoned the first season of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. In that show, there was an episode wherein Haruhi and Yuki were recruited for a school festival performance by a band who’s guitarists were both out of commission. The main emotional crux of the episode revolved around Haruhi’s involvement with this band–but Yuki was pretty much there just for fun; and her inclusion was absolutely genius.

That’s because Yuki is an incredibly fun character. She’s basically an alien with the power to bend reality, who uses those powers to do hilariously mundane things in everyday scenarios; and she’s got a really memorable personality and does all kinds of super-badass things. There’s a moment of realization when Yuki picks up the guitar and starts shredding these huge-ass riffs and solos that of course she can play the guitar perfectly, because she can learn pretty much anything; but the setup for it is so well-earned that it goes a long way in crafting what is overall one of the most legendary scenes in anime.

Fun is not something that you get to have without trying. Fun has to be earned. You don’t get to have fun by sitting around on the couch doing nothing; to have fun you have to do something–and likewise, if you want to make others have fun, then you have to work for it. You can’t just dangle keys in front of someone’s face and expect them to be entertained if they’re over the age of 1, because they’ve seen that shit before and they’ve got standards.

There are no shortage of ways that a series can achieve fun–even without the use of brilliant writing, deep characters, or profound themes. Sometimes, the key to making something fun is just to not fuck anything up. Recently, I encountered a pair of shows which both took a very similar approach to trying to create the pure sensation of fun–but whose level of success in doing so came down largely to each show’s margin of error.

Heavy Object is a show about a small team of soldiers who are tasked with trying to take down these gigantic metal war machines called Objects through the use of knowledge and tactics. The appeal of each arc was just in watching these characters try to distinguish and then exploit the unique weaknesses of each enemy Object–all while running around and wisecracking with a brisk, light tone. There is no reason that Heavy Object couldn’t have been a fun show, and it very nearly succeeded at being one for me. However, what kept taking me out of the experience and spoiling the fun was all the little piece of dumb bullshit.

Like how in just about every firefight, there’ll be a scene wherein the characters get spotted by the enemy, but have just enough time to wisecrack back and forth before the enemy starts shooting. Or how most of the time when they’re being shot at, they seem to be right in the enemy’s line-of-sight, and pressured under heavy gunfire, but miraculously never get hit, while constantly taking out enemy soldiers. Or how in this scene wherein their teammate accidentally fires her anti-personnel guns at them, they stand there staring while an epic rain of bullets falls all around them. Or how in this scene, the characters are sneaking into an enemy base while the guards aren’t paying attention, and the one guy just leaves the door open like he’s asking the enemy to notice. Et cetera.

On their own, none of these moments are that big of a deal–but what happens when all of them are stacked on top of each other is that they keep me thinking about things that I shouldn’t be thinking about, and slowly eat away at the dramatic tension of each scene. How am I ever meant to believe that the main characters’ lives are in danger, when they can make enormous tactical mistakes on a constant basis and never suffer any repercussions? If the appeal of this series is meant to be the use of strategy to overcome seemingly impossible odds, then why does it feel like luck is always on the side of the main characters, and like they can’t possibly lose?

This isn’t to say that I’m totally averse to shows that are just about crazy ridiculous bullshit–but this show isn’t nearly over-the-top enough to be fun on that level. If you’re gonna have a story where the rules of reality barely apply, then you really have to go over-the-top for it to leave any kind of impression. At the very least, if this show had been really nice-looking, or had well-directed action scenes and great animation, then it might have been cool enough to look at that I’d want to watch it anyways–but given that the show is uglier than sin, it has no such qualities.

Which brings me to a show from last season that succeeded in all of the places where Heavy Object failed, called High School Fleet. This one is about a bunch of cute high school girls who end up commanding a battleship, which they use to fight against other student ships while some light mystery plot unfolds around them. The story is nothing noteworthy–but it is very tightly paced and written, without any parts that drag or get boring. Its characters are simple and easy to understand, but all of them work to keep the series brisk and enjoyable. Its themes are as basic as they possibly could be, its action scenes aren’t particularly clever or tactical, and there’s not really any deep, philosophical, or unique reasons to enjoy the show.

However, High School Fleet is hella fun–because as long as you can buy into the central conceit of a bunch of cutesy moe girls running a battleship, the show doesn’t have any bullshit. Every action scene poses a legitimate threat to the characters’ lives, and there’s even some tension in the early part of the show over not being clear on how dark the series might eventually get. Each scene is paced and directed in such a way that the action is satisfying and engaging, even when there’s not a whole lot really going on; because it’s easy to understand the circumstances of each situation, and how those situations are affecting the characters.

And a lot of how the show accomplishes that is simply through the use of excellent visual design and animation. When there’s an action scene that’s meant to be frenetic and confusing, then we’ll get a shot of the ship’s scaredy-cat navigator frantically spinning the steering wheel while her eyes transform into spirals. When the crew are about to fire off a big fuck-off missile to assure their victory in a battle, then that missile launches with an impeccably staged and animated smoke effect. The music, voice acting, animation, and dialog all march in lockstep to create a tense and exciting scene in a show that you’ll probably never give all that much thought to when you’re not actually watching it–because the appeal of the show is that the actual act of watching it is fun.

And I love fun. I don’t think you’ll find a lot of people who actually hate fun. There are plenty of other things that media can to do be interesting besides being fun, but when something actually pulls off legitimate fun and does it well, then it’s worthy of being celebrated–and I think it would be insulting to the accomplishment of those works to suggest that the best way to appreciate the fun that they provide, is by turning your brain off.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHYmFJv_obY

It always comes back to anime.

He's lost, when will our boy come home?

yeah there were some genuinely funny moments in the film. and it didnt feel as current year as you'd expect... dont get me wrong, that stuff is here, but a lot of the jokes felt like they were ripped right out of a comic panel. that starbucks line in particular.

Just saw it, enjoyed it a lot. One of the best Marvel films I've seen. Structure was a bit off, like how you'd get a scene with Iron Man and then not see him again for another hour but on the whole I think they juggled the characters a lot better than I was expecting. Humour was much better than usual; the majority of the jokes landed well.

Spoiler

It's pretty obvious that those who died at the end are coming back, but I don't think that affected the impact of the ending at all. It's still a pretty depressing note to end on, especially from the perspective of the general audience. The theatre I was in was fairly packed and the atmosphere once the credits started rolling felt very weird. A little kid sitting in the row in front of me started crying.

I guess Part 2 will be one final hurrah for the original Avengers before Tony or Cap dies.

So Strange just casually dispels a singularity. How is he not a literal god?

So Strange just casually dispels a singularity. How is he not a literal god?

He's Strange

So Strange just casually dispels a singularity. How is he not a literal god?

Dr Strange is probably the most OP hero Marvel has. As the Sorcerer Supreme he goes regularly against or with cosmic abstracts, which are a level or two above gods. Think Batman with the power to create prep time and a book that gives him whatever power or plot device needed at the moment.

WHY IS GAMORA

Kick names and take ass.

WHY IS GAMORA

This got to me a bit too much

Spoiler

>Why didn't Thanos just use the gauntlet to create infinite resources?
>Why didn't the heroes just try to cut off his arm?
>Why didn't War Machine just fly outside the shield and carpet bomb most of the aliens?
>What was Captain Marvel doing this whole time?
>Why did Nick Fury wait so long to call her?
>Why didn't Thor keep attacking Thanos with his weapon before he snapped his fingers?
>Why didn't Thanos just kill off all the heroes just to be sure he would be successful?
>Why didn't they just choose to destroy the time stone?
>If Spiderman was close to getting the gauntlet off by himself why didn't Tony pin Quill down sooner?
>Why didn't they just kill Thanos right there?
>Why would Thanos let a single dwarf live that can build weapons that can kill him?
>Why didn't Thor use his lightning powers sooner?
>What the fuck does Red Skull do in his free time?
>Why didn't Thanos just pull the whole moon down on Titan and teleport away?
>Why did he wait so long sitting on his ass to collect the rest of the stones?

t. brainlet

okay that was a pretty fucking cool movie

still trying to organize my thoughts

>He wanted to avoid extinction 
>That kinda makes Verb Thanos

Verb wants extinction

Nah, I actually see where he's coming from with that comparison. I'm not 100% on board with Thanos, of course, but I'm able to find his motivation sympathetic in a lot of ways.

Spoiler

>Why didn't Thanos just use the gauntlet to create infinite resources?
>Why didn't the heroes just try to cut off his arm?
>Why didn't War Machine just fly outside the shield and carpet bomb most of the aliens?
>What was Captain Marvel doing this whole time?
>Why did Nick Fury wait so long to call her?
>Why didn't Thor keep attacking Thanos with his weapon before he snapped his fingers?
>Why didn't Thanos just kill off all the heroes just to be sure he would be successful?
>Why didn't they just choose to destroy the time stone?
>If Spiderman was close to getting the gauntlet off by himself why didn't Tony pin Quill down sooner?
>Why didn't they just kill Thanos right there?
>Why would Thanos let a single dwarf live that can build weapons that can kill him?
>Why didn't Thor use his lightning powers sooner?
>What the fuck does Red Skull do in his free time?
>Why didn't Thanos just pull the whole moon down on Titan and teleport away?
>Why did he wait so long sitting on his ass to collect the rest of the stones?

Because we gotta suck those Disney bucks outta you goy.

Yeah, I haven't really felt the need to watch a movie a second time in a really long time, but I'm really excited to see it again with my friends this week.

Spoiler

>Why didn't Thanos just use the gauntlet to create infinite resources?
>Why didn't the heroes just try to cut off his arm?
>Why didn't War Machine just fly outside the shield and carpet bomb most of the aliens?
>What was Captain Marvel doing this whole time?
>Why did Nick Fury wait so long to call her?
>Why didn't Thor keep attacking Thanos with his weapon before he snapped his fingers?
>Why didn't Thanos just kill off all the heroes just to be sure he would be successful?
>Why didn't they just choose to destroy the time stone?
>If Spiderman was close to getting the gauntlet off by himself why didn't Tony pin Quill down sooner?
>Why didn't they just kill Thanos right there?
>Why would Thanos let a single dwarf live that can build weapons that can kill him?
>Why didn't Thor use his lightning powers sooner?
>What the fuck does Red Skull do in his free time?
>Why didn't Thanos just pull the whole moon down on Titan and teleport away?
>Why did he wait so long sitting on his ass to collect the rest of the stones?

Tbh I think the majority of the serious questions you asked are pretty easily answered

Spoiler

My biggest complaint is that wiping out half the population wouldn't really solve much...the human population doubles in less than 100 years, so unless Thanos plans to snap his fingers every century (apparently not possible after the first time he did it), then his plan is childishly stupid. Not as dumb as an attempt to seduce the literal embodiment of death, but I think it undermines his character quite a bit.

Spoiler

>Why didn't Thanos just use the gauntlet to create infinite resources?
>Why didn't the heroes just try to cut off his arm?
>Why didn't War Machine just fly outside the shield and carpet bomb most of the aliens?
>What was Captain Marvel doing this whole time?
>Why did Nick Fury wait so long to call her?
>Why didn't Thor keep attacking Thanos with his weapon before he snapped his fingers?
>Why didn't Thanos just kill off all the heroes just to be sure he would be successful?
>Why didn't they just choose to destroy the time stone?
>If Spiderman was close to getting the gauntlet off by himself why didn't Tony pin Quill down sooner?
>Why didn't they just kill Thanos right there?
>Why would Thanos let a single dwarf live that can build weapons that can kill him?
>Why didn't Thor use his lightning powers sooner?
>What the fuck does Red Skull do in his free time?
>Why didn't Thanos just pull the whole moon down on Titan and teleport away?
>Why did he wait so long sitting on his ass to collect the rest of the stones?

Tbh I think the majority of the serious questions you asked are pretty easily answered

Spoiler

My biggest complaint is that wiping out half the population wouldn't really solve much...the human population doubles in less than 100 years, so unless Thanos plans to snap his fingers every century (apparently not possible after the first time he did it), then his plan is childishly stupid. Not as dumb as an attempt to seduce the literal embodiment of death, but I think it undermines his character quite a bit.

Spoiler

only if the ones culled were arbitrarily selected

which they very well may have been, but perhaps there was some method to it, like only culling the ones most likely to reproduce? or something like that