Spoiler Avengers: Endgame

Ian | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Garlemald did nothing wrong.
Super long wall of text
I'm gonna try and put all my thoughts together but I'm probably (like guaranteed) to miss a lot of stuff that I made a mental note of during the movie. I'm just gonna use meme arrows as bullet points because I tend to miss even more of my own thoughts when I try to condense things into paragraphs. I'll also put my joke nit picks in a additional spoiler bracket since my joke nit picks from Infinity War anally ass ravaged a few people on here. Spoilers obvious, the spoiler collapse for the length of post.

TL;DR: It was fucking 10/10 Kino

Before the movie:

>I'd like to give a shout out to Square Enix for getting me excited for seeing this movie by including a trailer for Shadowbringers FFXIV in the pre-preview advertisements. I've seen the full extended trailer well over 50 times by now, but seeing it on the big screen made me all the more happy with my ticket purchase.
>I liked all the movie previews I saw surprisingly but man am I excited as FUCK for Detective Pikachu.
>Not that many trailers, which is good. Got to the actually movie starting after a fair amount of time.
>I got recliner seats and only paid 4 bucks for an XL popcorn and XL drink so I was ready to go.

The movie itself:

>Like I said in my previous post: A five minute intermission would not have hindered this movie at all. Gone With The Wind had a ten minute intermission and that film is considered Kino by the Library Of Congress.
>Starting with Hawkeye's family getting Snapped was actually pretty rough to watch. Camera work and tone was way off from typical Marvel movies and therefore felt right for this particular Marvel title.
>Thanos telling Thor to aim for the head and then having Thor decapitate him was fucking brilliant. Didn't think the Russo brothers would do something from so small a detail but they play me like a fiddle later on in the movie with more of similar stuff.



>Speaking of Thor, his hobo scene in New Asgard was one of the funniest fucking scenes I've laughed at in years. I was holding in laughing well after the movie got serious and moved on from it, I just couldn't get my mind off it. The sheer over the top blunt silliness was just perfect.
>Seeing Tony start a family only enforced my own goal of one day wanting to start one. Everything I do in life is literally just to help one day reach it and this movie showing all that family stuff really hit close to home (Not as close as Evangelion has ever gotten to me but Evangelion was made specifically for people like me whereas Marvel is aimed at a much broader audience).
>Please tell me I wasn't the only one who caught Ant Man Baneposting in the movie. "We met at the airport....I was the big guy....I had a mask" that shit had me fucking weak.
>Having the characters make fun of the time travel mechanics is great considering at face value, having time travel mechanics in any serious film has always been....lackluster and detrimental to the plot. Luckily the Russo brothers handled it VERY carefully and it didn't end up ruining the film, even if it did leave me confused on a variety of points.
>So five years goes by, but we don't see any results of the Snap. We get one aerial view of an empty baseball field, and Scott visiting a graveyard but nothing else really. We're consistently told things are so different now but I feel like the Russo brothers should have spent a little more time fleshing that out.
>I'm kind of confused about the actual plot revolving the Space Stone/Blue Cube. I was first confused by it appearing in Captain Marvel cause it was my understanding that it was frozen with Captain America but the movies combined tend to have this particular stone all over the place.
>Having Captain America whisper Hail Hydra was a pretty great nod at the mistakes the comic books having been making as of late. I'm glad Disney can acknowledge internal screw ups and use them for positive gains.
>The time heist scenes (the second act of the three) were a little less exciting than I thought it would be, Infinity War was nonstop relentless thrill and action whereas half the scenes were kind of just nods at themselves from previous movies. I actually used the scene where Nebula fights herself to use the restroom and I was able to pick up immediately what was going on when I came back because it was kind of obvious how it was gonna play out. I wouldn't call it bad though, I couldn't see the Russo brothers coming up with a better solution given the structure of the story.
>I'd like to take this meme arrow and dedicate it to the Russo brothers themselves. More big project movies need a second person with equal command behind the wheel to help keep each other in check. All too often we get a movie with a write/director/producer with a vision which is GOOD but the movie falls flat on it's face cause no one reeled them in. I can think of a certain big name Disney movie coming out this December that could definitely use a second chief in charge *cough*cough*Star Wars*cough*.
>The final battle was straight up entertaining to watch. I normally don't get phased by pure cool/action shot porn, but I was in agreement with the applauding audience when Captain America grabbed Thor's hammer. That shit completely blew my fucking mind.
>The choreography was absolutely topnotch. Most action scenes these days have so much shit going on you can't tell what happening, so having it being comprehensible AND badass is an A+ in my book.
>I concur with Aether's post about Tony killing Thanos. Tony felt like the MC of the entire MCU and seeing him be the one to beat the big bad and end this(his) story arc was a good call. It was a perfect roundabout beginning (with the first Iron Man film) and ending ("I...am Iron Man").

Tony Stark's death & Spiderman:

>Alright Disney, fucking fine, you win, I'm not made of stone. Seeing Peter for that split two seconds before Potts moves him away definitely hit me hard. I'm particular hard on Tom Holland's Spiderman partly because I see so much of myself in this iteration of Peter Parker but keeping an unmoved reaction from that moment would've been a struggle I knew I wasn't going to win.

Ending:

>It's no fault of the movie or Marvel, but theater etiquette has really gone out the window these days. Yeah, a scene is cool, hype and all kinds of badass, but can people not screech like a animal into the ear of the guy sitting next to them? I understand getting excited and everything but this particular case was noticeably unpleasant.
>I'm glad they ended the movie with Captain America. Tony may have been the MC but the Capt was definitely the runner up. And he also drove home the point I made further up about starting a family. Fuck the naysayers, I WILL WIN! ;-;
>Not having an end credits scene was perfect. Even though we're getting Black Panther 2 and Spiderman 2 and GoTG3 and all the sequels, it feels like a clean slate. I may not be able to keep up with their new arc, I was only able to catch up to this one because of a friend but I'm still interested/invested. Especially since DC has been shitting the bed (what they're doing to Teen Titans is fucking criminal).

Joke Nitpick Time!

>How did Captain Marvel find Tony Stark? She had no idea where he was.
>Running out of oxygen? Forget that Tony, what the fuck have you been eating?
>If Thanos wanted to make his Snap absolutely permanent with no reversal why didn't he just force all the heroes to die to the Snap and THEN kill half the universe at random? He had no problem killing everyone else that got in his way, why is it suddenly different after the fact when he had enough foresight to plan to get rid of the stones afterwards?
>Having Thor play Fortnite and not do the floss dance at any point during the movie is absolutely unforgivable.
>So five years have gone by, and Captain is telling a support group to move on....but he cant. That little hypocritical shit goes back on the GOOD advice he's been giving people and does the complete opposite. If I wanted to watch a hopeless romantic go back on what he's been saying and end up dying at the end I'd rewatch Cowboy Bebop.
>Any time any writer wants to introduce Time Travel into their plot, they need to stop and ask "Can I introduce Bruce Almighty right here, right now, into this scene where I want to use time travel, and still tell the same story I want to tell?" If the answer is no (which it almost always will be), they need to put the pen down and go back to the drawing board.
>Scott's daughter was just a tiny little girl, five years would not make her the much older.
>How did Nebula know about Morag? Didn't Thanos only take Gamora to get the Soul Stone?
>Where did Loki go with the Space Stone? He literally just NOPE'D on outta there.
>They have just enough Pym Particles for everyone for a round trip. Not too many, not too few, that sure is awfully convenient for the plot of this movie!
>What the fuck was Hawkeye doing in Tokyo?
>Why would Tony think that helping bring everyone back from the Snap undo his family? We learn later on in the movie that you can do fuck all in the past and have no consequences in the future.
>Wouldn't future Nebula know that she'd be linked to Thanos's wifi-whatever and as a result risk being caught the way she did when she was on Morag?
>Should Tony and Steve had maybe told Scott there plan to go back to the 70s? What reason was there to leave him in the dark?
>I like how Tony tells everyone not to do Butterfly Effect bullshit before going back in time and HE HIMSELF doesn't keep his interaction with his father to a minimum. We're supposed to be [mildly] disappointed in Thor for going to see his mom, but Tony gets a free pass? No.
>So we see in multiple instances that they diverged from the original timeline, (knocking out Quill, Captain fighting Captain, Loki teleporting to Aldenard for all we know) yet the future is still the same? No.
>Fucking future Nebula SHOT HER PAST SELF....AND NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED. WHAT?!
>Right before all the female cast back up Captain Marvel, they say "We'll back her up" but why? Nothing we've seen from both this film and Captain Marvel would lead us to think that she couldn't handle that entire army by herself. She takes down fucking warships just by flying through them. Honestly, what realistic damage could any of that army do to her?
>Why didn't they just use the stones to bring back Tony? Or Vision? Or anybody other than Black Widow/Gamora who died for the soul stone? They're literal gods with all of them.
>Why didn't they just have Thor go back in time to right before the Snap and aim for the head? Or at any other point where they could just easily kill Thanos and prevent the Snap?
>I hope Steve understands that by spending the rest of his life with Peggy, he also has to live the rest of his life knowing his good pal Bucky is in some shitpit somewhere getting tortured. BUCKY WAS A GOOD BOY, HE DINDU NUFFIN


 
Jono
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Goodness gracious, great balls of lightning!
Infinity War is still better


maverick | Legendary Invincible!
 
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Spoiler
fyi time travel in endgame actually creates a separate timeline rather than changing the existing one. when steve goes back in time at the end, he actually was living in a separate “universe”, the movie just never explaines how he got back to the original one.


Aether | Legendary Invincible!
 
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Long live NoNolesNeckin.

Ya fuckin' ganderneck.
Spoiler
fyi time travel in endgame actually creates a separate timeline rather than changing the existing one. when steve goes back in time at the end, he actually was living in a separate “universe”, the movie just never explaines how he got back to the original one.
Spoiler
The only thing I can think of is that, because he was able to marry Peggy finally, he would've obviously gotten involved with S.H.I.E.L.D. and would've been able to acquire new Pym particles as well as the unbroken Captain America shield. So, assuming he kept the time travel suit, he must've used it to return to his original timeline after living out the life he wanted.


 
Verbatim
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I can think of a certain big name Disney movie coming out this December that could definitely use a second chief in charge *cough*cough*Star Wars*cough*.
Yeah, like Rian Johnson!


Ian | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Garlemald did nothing wrong.
You might be on to something. Having one guy who doesn't change fucking anything (JJ) work with a guy who changes too much (Rian), that's literally a perfect balance.

I can think of a certain big name Disney movie coming out this December that could definitely use a second chief in charge *cough*cough*Star Wars*cough*.
Yeah, like Rian Johnson!


 
Jono
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Goodness gracious, great balls of lightning!
Spoiler
Is anyone else upset that Hulk hasn't done shit for 2 movies now?


 
Elai
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male, he/him

dracula can eat my whole ass!
Super long wall of text
I'm gonna try and put all my thoughts together but I'm probably (like guaranteed) to miss a lot of stuff that I made a mental note of during the movie. I'm just gonna use meme arrows as bullet points because I tend to miss even more of my own thoughts when I try to condense things into paragraphs. I'll also put my joke nit picks in a additional spoiler bracket since my joke nit picks from Infinity War anally ass ravaged a few people on here. Spoilers obvious, the spoiler collapse for the length of post.

TL;DR: It was fucking 10/10 Kino

Before the movie:

>I'd like to give a shout out to Square Enix for getting me excited for seeing this movie by including a trailer for Shadowbringers FFXIV in the pre-preview advertisements. I've seen the full extended trailer well over 50 times by now, but seeing it on the big screen made me all the more happy with my ticket purchase.
>I liked all the movie previews I saw surprisingly but man am I excited as FUCK for Detective Pikachu.
>Not that many trailers, which is good. Got to the actually movie starting after a fair amount of time.
>I got recliner seats and only paid 4 bucks for an XL popcorn and XL drink so I was ready to go.

The movie itself:

>Like I said in my previous post: A five minute intermission would not have hindered this movie at all. Gone With The Wind had a ten minute intermission and that film is considered Kino by the Library Of Congress.
>Starting with Hawkeye's family getting Snapped was actually pretty rough to watch. Camera work and tone was way off from typical Marvel movies and therefore felt right for this particular Marvel title.
>Thanos telling Thor to aim for the head and then having Thor decapitate him was fucking brilliant. Didn't think the Russo brothers would do something from so small a detail but they play me like a fiddle later on in the movie with more of similar stuff.



>Speaking of Thor, his hobo scene in New Asgard was one of the funniest fucking scenes I've laughed at in years. I was holding in laughing well after the movie got serious and moved on from it, I just couldn't get my mind off it. The sheer over the top blunt silliness was just perfect.
>Seeing Tony start a family only enforced my own goal of one day wanting to start one. Everything I do in life is literally just to help one day reach it and this movie showing all that family stuff really hit close to home (Not as close as Evangelion has ever gotten to me but Evangelion was made specifically for people like me whereas Marvel is aimed at a much broader audience).
>Please tell me I wasn't the only one who caught Ant Man Baneposting in the movie. "We met at the airport....I was the big guy....I had a mask" that shit had me fucking weak.
>Having the characters make fun of the time travel mechanics is great considering at face value, having time travel mechanics in any serious film has always been....lackluster and detrimental to the plot. Luckily the Russo brothers handled it VERY carefully and it didn't end up ruining the film, even if it did leave me confused on a variety of points.
>So five years goes by, but we don't see any results of the Snap. We get one aerial view of an empty baseball field, and Scott visiting a graveyard but nothing else really. We're consistently told things are so different now but I feel like the Russo brothers should have spent a little more time fleshing that out.
>I'm kind of confused about the actual plot revolving the Space Stone/Blue Cube. I was first confused by it appearing in Captain Marvel cause it was my understanding that it was frozen with Captain America but the movies combined tend to have this particular stone all over the place.
>Having Captain America whisper Hail Hydra was a pretty great nod at the mistakes the comic books having been making as of late. I'm glad Disney can acknowledge internal screw ups and use them for positive gains.
>The time heist scenes (the second act of the three) were a little less exciting than I thought it would be, Infinity War was nonstop relentless thrill and action whereas half the scenes were kind of just nods at themselves from previous movies. I actually used the scene where Nebula fights herself to use the restroom and I was able to pick up immediately what was going on when I came back because it was kind of obvious how it was gonna play out. I wouldn't call it bad though, I couldn't see the Russo brothers coming up with a better solution given the structure of the story.
>I'd like to take this meme arrow and dedicate it to the Russo brothers themselves. More big project movies need a second person with equal command behind the wheel to help keep each other in check. All too often we get a movie with a write/director/producer with a vision which is GOOD but the movie falls flat on it's face cause no one reeled them in. I can think of a certain big name Disney movie coming out this December that could definitely use a second chief in charge *cough*cough*Star Wars*cough*.
>The final battle was straight up entertaining to watch. I normally don't get phased by pure cool/action shot porn, but I was in agreement with the applauding audience when Captain America grabbed Thor's hammer. That shit completely blew my fucking mind.
>The choreography was absolutely topnotch. Most action scenes these days have so much shit going on you can't tell what happening, so having it being comprehensible AND badass is an A+ in my book.
>I concur with Aether's post about Tony killing Thanos. Tony felt like the MC of the entire MCU and seeing him be the one to beat the big bad and end this(his) story arc was a good call. It was a perfect roundabout beginning (with the first Iron Man film) and ending ("I...am Iron Man").

Tony Stark's death & Spiderman:

>Alright Disney, fucking fine, you win, I'm not made of stone. Seeing Peter for that split two seconds before Potts moves him away definitely hit me hard. I'm particular hard on Tom Holland's Spiderman partly because I see so much of myself in this iteration of Peter Parker but keeping an unmoved reaction from that moment would've been a struggle I knew I wasn't going to win.

Ending:

>It's no fault of the movie or Marvel, but theater etiquette has really gone out the window these days. Yeah, a scene is cool, hype and all kinds of badass, but can people not screech like a animal into the ear of the guy sitting next to them? I understand getting excited and everything but this particular case was noticeably unpleasant.
>I'm glad they ended the movie with Captain America. Tony may have been the MC but the Capt was definitely the runner up. And he also drove home the point I made further up about starting a family. Fuck the naysayers, I WILL WIN! ;-;
>Not having an end credits scene was perfect. Even though we're getting Black Panther 2 and Spiderman 2 and GoTG3 and all the sequels, it feels like a clean slate. I may not be able to keep up with their new arc, I was only able to catch up to this one because of a friend but I'm still interested/invested. Especially since DC has been shitting the bed (what they're doing to Teen Titans is fucking criminal).

Joke Nitpick Time!

>How did Captain Marvel find Tony Stark? She had no idea where he was.
>Running out of oxygen? Forget that Tony, what the fuck have you been eating?
>If Thanos wanted to make his Snap absolutely permanent with no reversal why didn't he just force all the heroes to die to the Snap and THEN kill half the universe at random? He had no problem killing everyone else that got in his way, why is it suddenly different after the fact when he had enough foresight to plan to get rid of the stones afterwards?
>Having Thor play Fortnite and not do the floss dance at any point during the movie is absolutely unforgivable.
>So five years have gone by, and Captain is telling a support group to move on....but he cant. That little hypocritical shit goes back on the GOOD advice he's been giving people and does the complete opposite. If I wanted to watch a hopeless romantic go back on what he's been saying and end up dying at the end I'd rewatch Cowboy Bebop.
>Any time any writer wants to introduce Time Travel into their plot, they need to stop and ask "Can I introduce Bruce Almighty right here, right now, into this scene where I want to use time travel, and still tell the same story I want to tell?" If the answer is no (which it almost always will be), they need to put the pen down and go back to the drawing board.
>Scott's daughter was just a tiny little girl, five years would not make her the much older.
>How did Nebula know about Morag? Didn't Thanos only take Gamora to get the Soul Stone?
>Where did Loki go with the Space Stone? He literally just NOPE'D on outta there.
>They have just enough Pym Particles for everyone for a round trip. Not too many, not too few, that sure is awfully convenient for the plot of this movie!
>What the fuck was Hawkeye doing in Tokyo?
>Why would Tony think that helping bring everyone back from the Snap undo his family? We learn later on in the movie that you can do fuck all in the past and have no consequences in the future.
>Wouldn't future Nebula know that she'd be linked to Thanos's wifi-whatever and as a result risk being caught the way she did when she was on Morag?
>Should Tony and Steve had maybe told Scott there plan to go back to the 70s? What reason was there to leave him in the dark?
>I like how Tony tells everyone not to do Butterfly Effect bullshit before going back in time and HE HIMSELF doesn't keep his interaction with his father to a minimum. We're supposed to be [mildly] disappointed in Thor for going to see his mom, but Tony gets a free pass? No.
>So we see in multiple instances that they diverged from the original timeline, (knocking out Quill, Captain fighting Captain, Loki teleporting to Aldenard for all we know) yet the future is still the same? No.
>Fucking future Nebula SHOT HER PAST SELF....AND NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED. WHAT?!
>Right before all the female cast back up Captain Marvel, they say "We'll back her up" but why? Nothing we've seen from both this film and Captain Marvel would lead us to think that she couldn't handle that entire army by herself. She takes down fucking warships just by flying through them. Honestly, what realistic damage could any of that army do to her?
>Why didn't they just use the stones to bring back Tony? Or Vision? Or anybody other than Black Widow/Gamora who died for the soul stone? They're literal gods with all of them.
>Why didn't they just have Thor go back in time to right before the Snap and aim for the head? Or at any other point where they could just easily kill Thanos and prevent the Snap?
>I hope Steve understands that by spending the rest of his life with Peggy, he also has to live the rest of his life knowing his good pal Bucky is in some shitpit somewhere getting tortured. BUCKY WAS A GOOD BOY, HE DINDU NUFFIN

Thank you so much for your service.


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Wasn't as good as Infinity War but I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Spoiler
My one real problem was Thanos being kinda lame in comparison IW

Spoiler
Is anyone else upset that Hulk hasn't done shit for 2 movies now?

Spoiler
They fucking killed Hulk off and replaced him with a Jojo Stand is what they did. Easily the saddest death in the movie.


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Long live NoNolesNeckin.

Ya fuckin' ganderneck.
Spoiler
"Hulk" wasn't even in End Game. It was just Banner with Hulk's body.


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In my opinion Black Panthers scenes in Captain America: Civil War are more enjoyable than his own movie and his scenes in Infinity War + Endgame.


 
 
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They explain a lot of those gripes in the movie itself. There's literally an entire scene about how "standard" timetravel as we know it from other movies like BTTF doesn't work, courtesy of Banner. You can't change the present by going back in time and doing things differently. Time is not a linear thing. If you travel back to the year 2000, the current present just becomes part of the past in this timeline. Your actions in 2000 are then actually the future when compared to the current present, and you cannot change things that have already happened by doing something in the future. There's some sense to it as the movie essentially treats timelines as alternate universes.

That's why the entire point of their travel is not to go back and kill Thanos or stop him in the first place. It's to bring back the unbroken stones from different past timelines to repair our own. Changing something in the other timeline only changes the future of that one. It's the entire reason Cap brings the stones back to their respective timelines at the end.


Ian | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Garlemald did nothing wrong.
So there's a gazillion different timelines where Thanos still wins in the end and we're still supposed to root for the heroes who literally risk destroying the universe or some shit for their own specific timeline?

That's why the entire point of their travel is not to go back and kill Thanos or stop him in the first place. It's to bring back the unbroken stones from different past timelines to repair our own. Changing something in the other timeline only changes the future of that one. It's the entire reason Cap brings the stones back to their respective timelines at the end.


 
 
Flee
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So there's a gazillion different timelines where Thanos still wins in the end and we're still supposed to root for the heroes who literally risk destroying the universe or some shit for their own specific timeline?
They don't dig into it that far but the way I figure it works is that the alternate timelines are only created when someone travels back and does something that affects it.

This is kind of explained by the bald wizard lady when she talks to Banner. She summons the orange light beam to illustrate what happens when you remove the time stone from their timeline. It creates a divergent timeline where they don't have the stone and shit hits the fan because they can't defend themselves (she doesn't specify it, but I assume she's referring to Strange using the stone to rewind time over and over again to barter with that one monster in his movie).

So you've got the main timeline (A) which is the one we're in. This is the only timeline up until someone travels back and changes something. This doesn't affect the present or future of A but instead creates an offshoot timeline B starting at the moment of the change.

In short, this would mean that there's one Thanos for every timeline that is created upon time travel. Thanos from timeline A (the main one) is dead because Thor chops his head off at the beginning of the movie. Thanos from timeline B (the one from 2014 where Nebula gets captured) is also dead because he traveled forward in time to timeline A where the gauntlet turned him to ash. All the other Thanoses presumably continue to live but get their asses kicked in the end.

The main issue with this is that while Thanos never wins, he also keeps existing. Because in all other alternate timelines, things essentially pan out the exact same way they did in the main timeline - all the way up to the point that the alternate timelines catch up to the big finger snap and also have to go back to get more stones and thereby create more spinoff timelines that keep going through the motions over and over.

Second problem is that one timeline where their actions in the past allow Loki to get away with the blue stone. That's the one timeline I see that majorly deviates from the main timeline A in a way that could change the entire outcome so that Thanos wins. Thinking back about it, the Avengers really did fuck up and just leave. That is unless Loki somehow does manage to get away with it in the main timeline (I don't remember what happens in that movie so that might be it).

That, or there really just are infinite timelines and Thanos does win in trillions of them (but still loses in infinitely more). I believe that Fury tells Spiderman that the multiverse is real in the trailer for the new movie, so that's a real possibility.

And damn, what a fucking post this is. I don't even like superhero movies much or care about the MCU.
Last Edit: May 11, 2019, 07:19:05 PM by Flee