A few days ago, one of my dogs found a bird nest in a chair on our back porch and knocked it down. There were little nestlings all over the porch. I gathered them up, rebuilt the nest, and replaced them. I made sure that one of their parents was still paying regular visits, and I tried to conceal the nest as well as I could from potential predators (we have a privacy fence that keeps cats and racoons and stuff out, but I just wanted to make sure.)

All was well until yesterday. Two of the five baby birds (they're either a species of wren or finch) had disappeared. No blood anywhere. One of them was dead and had been pushed from the nest. I buried it in a flowerpot. Up until this point, I knew for sure that the mother or father had been paying regular visits to the nest. I decided that the nests' position wasn't safe, and relocated it to a more secure, elevated position on a little glass shelf on my porch, away from any spots from where a mammal could attack. Snakes aren't common here, but I won't rule out the possibility of a rat snake or something predating the two missing birds. In any case, I moved the nest to a safer, nearby location in good faith, having been informed by my research+a contact at the national wildlife center that it would be fine, because birds have a good sense of hearing and would be able to find them no problem (the thing about mother birds abandoning chicks which have come into human contact is a myth; they have a terrible sense of smell). I left them in peace last night, assured that my actions were benevolent and in the best interests of the surviving chicks.


I just got home from class, and one of the remaining two birds had perished in the nest. I buried it with its sibling in the flowerpot. Now, only one remains- they did not beg for food when I checked, unlike every other time, so I'm not entirely sure that the other birds starved to death. However, I am at an impasse- I could leave him to the care of his mother, or I could contact wildlife rescue and possibly ensure his welfare. I'm afraid the chicks may have suffered internal injuries when they originally fell from the nest, and that may have contributed to the nest deaths. I don't want this little baby bird to die. They would have all perished on the floor of my porch had I not intervened. I wanted to give them a fighting chance, and two of them were ripped away silently in the night, and two died nesting with their remaining siblings. I am now entirely unsure that the last bird will make it.

I cannot intellectually or emotionally reconcile with this experience. Why were they born just to be ripped from the mortal plane in such a brutish manner? Why were my actions Pyrrhic? Is mortality the only constant in the universe? Why do we live if we must die? Why do we live if our souls aren't immortal? What's the existential meaning of sentient life, if it's just going to be swept away in the blink of an eye and rendered meaningless?

I cannot be optimistic in the face of such horror. I cannot believe that there is some higher, benevolent power watching over and protecting us. If there is, it's just as incompetent as I am. Right now, I can only imagine that every other garden planet in this universe suffers the same fate. We are all victims of mortality. How am I supposed to find solace amongst this terror?

Quote from: >le meme arrow on April 23, 2015, 03:04:19 PM

Quote from: Azumarill on April 23, 2015, 02:19:29 PM

A few days ago, one of my dogs found a bird nest in a chair on our back porch and knocked it down. There were little nestlings all over the porch. I gathered them up, rebuilt the nest, and replaced them. I made sure that one of their parents was still paying regular visits, and I tried to conceal the nest as well as I could from potential predators (we have a privacy fence that keeps cats and racoons and stuff out, but I just wanted to make sure.)

All was well until yesterday. Two of the five baby birds (they're either a species of wren or finch) had disappeared. No blood anywhere. One of them was dead and had been pushed from the nest. I buried it in a flowerpot. Up until this point, I knew for sure that the mother or father had been paying regular visits to the nest. I decided that the nests' position wasn't safe, and relocated it to a more secure, elevated position on a little glass shelf on my porch, away from any spots from where a mammal could attack. Snakes aren't common here, but I won't rule out the possibility of a rat snake or something predating the two missing birds. In any case, I moved the nest to a safer, nearby location in good faith, having been informed by my research+a contact at the national wildlife center that it would be fine, because birds have a good sense of hearing and would be able to find them no problem (the thing about mother birds abandoning chicks which have come into human contact is a myth; they have a terrible sense of smell). I left them in peace last night, assured that my actions were benevolent and in the best interests of the surviving chicks.


I just got home from class, and one of the remaining two birds had perished in the nest. I buried it with its sibling in the flowerpot. Now, only one remains- they did not beg for food when I checked, unlike every other time, so I'm not entirely sure that the other birds starved to death. However, I am at an impasse- I could leave him to the care of his mother, or I could contact wildlife rescue and possibly ensure his welfare. I'm afraid the chicks may have suffered internal injuries when they originally fell from the nest, and that may have contributed to the nest deaths. I don't want this little baby bird to die. They would have all perished on the floor of my porch had I not intervened. I wanted to give them a fighting chance, and two of them were ripped away silently in the night, and two died nesting with their remaining siblings. I am now entirely unsure that the last bird will make it.

I cannot intellectually or emotionally reconcile with this experience. Why were they born just to be ripped from the mortal plane in such a brutish manner? Why were my actions Pyrrhic? Is mortality the only constant in the universe? Why do we live if we must die? Why do we live if our souls aren't immortal? What's the existential meaning of sentient life, if it's just going to be swept away in the blink of an eye and rendered meaningless?

I cannot be optimistic in the face of such horror. I cannot believe that there is some higher, benevolent power watching over and protecting us. If there is, it's just as incompetent as I am. Right now, I can only imagine that every other garden planet in this universe suffers the same fate. We are all victims of mortality. How am I supposed to find solace amongst this terror?

Holy shit I didn't ask for your life story

sorry i didnt reply with a meme. i figured since this is the serious board that i ought to maybe consider this topic seriously.

ps: go fuck yourself

Both.

I'm starry-eyed in some respects, but bitterly cynical in others.

Basically, I'm optimistic about human potential. Incredibly pessimistic about the realization of such potential.

I was coming in here to say realist but I guess that's the wrong view so nvm

Quote from: Verbatim on April 23, 2015, 05:40:04 PM

Quote from: SecondClass on April 23, 2015, 05:25:43 PM

I was coming in here to say realist but I guess that's the wrong view so nvm

it's the "look at me look how different i am" view

I legitimately make an effort to see things how they are,

Personally, I think not caring about any label for your own personality is a healthier practice for that personality.