WOOAHHHUGH

 
Elai
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dracula can eat my whole ass!
then my friends are coming over for laser tag so cant really complain
fuckin' right

do you know what time youre going to swing by?
I always forget you two know each other

yeah man hes one of my oldest friends
I would be embarrassed af if someone I knew saw my posts on here lol

sometimes i feel that way but honestly tblocks is such a good guy he looks past my blunt honesty and just chills

i can be as real with him irl as i am with folks on here. its p liberating


 
TB
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#13
then my friends are coming over for laser tag so cant really complain
fuckin' right

do you know what time youre going to swing by?
I always forget you two know each other

yeah man hes one of my oldest friends
I would be embarrassed af if someone I knew saw my posts on here lol
It's a hell of a thing eh? Keeps you on your toes.
And it helps that *most* of the stuff I post I don't really care about Eli seeing. Not exactly heavily guarded secrets for me. And if I did he's chill so.


 
Elai
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dracula can eat my whole ass!
problem with an idea like suicide pills is that you have to go through your organs shutting down and you'd be aware of it all happening unless you black out first

there'd be no turning back if you reach a moment of desperation where you change your mind

why are you always so pedantic

the idealistic suicide pills im referring to dont work that way


MyNameIsCharlie | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Get of my lawn
"Died in your arms tonight" is a Shakesperian allusion to orgasm.


 
Elai
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dracula can eat my whole ass!
"Died in your arms tonight" is a Shakesperian allusion to orgasm.

its also a rockin tune man


 
𝑺𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒅𝑪𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒔
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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
—Judge Aaron Satie
——Carmen
not to get dark but carbon monoxide poisoning would be the way to go

I couldn't handle a gunshot where you exist one second and completely don't the next


Sαndtrap | Heroic Posting Rampage
 
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I'm just going to go ahead and be absolutely blunt. I'll let my inner redneck talk for a second.

You're lazy. And you're complacent about being lazy and sitting around in a state of non caring about much because that's the easiest route to take.

I'm not panning that as an intended insult nor am I trying to bring your day down. But if I ask myself what's up with you, that's the answer I get at the very bottom of things. Maybe that's because years ago, I was the same way. But, I'm no doctor after all.

On the bright side of things, you'll get there if you keep moving on the upswing. Not every day is one where you feel like rainbows and sunshine. The point is not to let the down moments drag you a step backwards.


 
𝑺𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒅𝑪𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒔
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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
—Judge Aaron Satie
——Carmen
why not be lazy when there's nothing worth caring about


 
Elai
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dracula can eat my whole ass!
problem with an idea like suicide pills is that you have to go through your organs shutting down and you'd be aware of it all happening unless you black out first

there'd be no turning back if you reach a moment of desperation where you change your mind

why are you always so pedantic

the idealistic suicide pills im referring to dont work that way
I call 'em as I see 'em.
I used to see things in idealistic ways but that stopped when it started slowing me down. Better to just look to what's realistically possible rather than toss and turn over things that can never happen.

oh my god shut up you fucking faggot

using a hypothetical that works in the optimal way to convey a specific concept tailored to the conversation is different than having an idealistic world view

and youre more idealistic than ill ever be. trust me.


Sαndtrap | Heroic Posting Rampage
 
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why not be lazy when there's nothing worth caring about

You only say that because you haven't found anything much to care about.

People don't slide down when their attention is held by something that sparks their interests and drives their life forward by sheer passion.

Most of all, these days, people aren't taught properly how to find that.


 
Elai
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I'm just going to go ahead and be absolutely blunt. I'll let my inner redneck talk for a second.

You're lazy. And you're complacent about being lazy and sitting around in a state of non caring about much because that's the easiest route to take.

I'm not panning that as an intended insult nor am I trying to bring your day down. But if I ask myself what's up with you, that's the answer I get at the very bottom of things. Maybe that's because years ago, I was the same way. But, I'm no doctor after all.

On the bright side of things, you'll get there if you keep moving on the upswing. Not every day is one where you feel like rainbows and sunshine. The point is not to let the down moments drag you a step backwards.

im not lazy, theres just nothing (few things) worth working for

the things i deem worth it i work hard at. like being meticulously clean in every aspect of my life, or finalising the editing on a short film ive directed.

i can understand why youd think that though because i used to think i was lazy, too. then i realised im actually capable of going the distance, but id rather just stay home.


 
Elai
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dracula can eat my whole ass!
why not be lazy when there's nothing worth caring about

You only say that because you haven't found anything much to care about.

People don't slide down when their attention is held by something that sparks their interests and drives their life forward by sheer passion.

Most of all, these days, people aren't taught properly how to find that.

you can be lazy and motivated you know

finding something in your life you want to do doesnt magically make you unlazy -- being lazy just means you dont want to do something.

being the opposite of lazy (hard working) is only possible when youre not motivated.


 
TB
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#13
the things i deem worth it i work hard at. like being meticulously clean in every aspect of my life, or finalising the editing on a short film ive directed.
See, you're a good kid. Good kid. Straight from the academy.


 
Elai
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dracula can eat my whole ass!
problem with an idea like suicide pills is that you have to go through your organs shutting down and you'd be aware of it all happening unless you black out first

there'd be no turning back if you reach a moment of desperation where you change your mind

why are you always so pedantic

the idealistic suicide pills im referring to dont work that way
I call 'em as I see 'em.
I used to see things in idealistic ways but that stopped when it started slowing me down. Better to just look to what's realistically possible rather than toss and turn over things that can never happen.

oh my god shut up you fucking faggot

using a hypothetical that works in the optimal way to convey a specific concept tailored to the conversation is different than having an idealistic world view

and youre more idealistic than ill ever be. trust me.
As someone who has wrestled with existentialism since adolescence and has seen and been through quite a bit of shit, rather than dwell on the pointlessness of existence and the perfection of nonexistence I reached a turning point where it shifted to the opposite side. Live life despite the absurdity of it, and do what you can to enjoy the ride.

I don't bother with unobtainable ideals because they keep you stuck dwelling and unhappy.
You're not going to agree with anything I say and that's fine.

"wrestled"

okay buddy whatever you say

ive seen your existential arguments before.


but what irks me more is the fact that you took a minute word choice and decided to flip the entire conversation onto your "superior" philosophical world view when it had literally nothing to do with the conversation. my hypothetical idealistic suicide pills are not unobtainable -- there are relatively painless methods of suicide. that was my point.

i also dont expect to see you all in hell, in case you were wondering.


Sαndtrap | Heroic Posting Rampage
 
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I'm just going to go ahead and be absolutely blunt. I'll let my inner redneck talk for a second.

You're lazy. And you're complacent about being lazy and sitting around in a state of non caring about much because that's the easiest route to take.

I'm not panning that as an intended insult nor am I trying to bring your day down. But if I ask myself what's up with you, that's the answer I get at the very bottom of things. Maybe that's because years ago, I was the same way. But, I'm no doctor after all.

On the bright side of things, you'll get there if you keep moving on the upswing. Not every day is one where you feel like rainbows and sunshine. The point is not to let the down moments drag you a step backwards.

im not lazy, theres just nothing (few things) worth working for

the things i deem worth it i work hard at. like being meticulously clean in every aspect of my life, or finalising the editing on a short film ive directed.

i can understand why youd think that though because i used to think i was lazy, too. then i realised im actually capable of going the distance, but id rather just stay home.

Even though you summed up laziness by broad definition. Every single person is capable of going the distance. Those that choose to stay back, would be, by definition, lazy.

There's other factors too. Like I said. People our age these days haven't been taught how to properly find the things that actually make a life worthwhile. Either through the fault of the trends in the system or just the way parents raised you. In most cases, it's both.

Either way, all it comes down to for you at the moment is this. You've got some ups in your life and things that you can enjoy, but you're still missing complete fullfillment. Whatever that missing piece is, that's up for you to work towards and find on your own. But you'll never find it if you shut everything out automatically and claim that it's not worthwhile without even having tried it.






 
Elai
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dracula can eat my whole ass!
i guess im lazy then


 
Elai
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dracula can eat my whole ass!
man you cant even let me dislike you properly. you have to make feel all guilty about it by apologising.


 
𝑺𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒅𝑪𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒔
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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
—Judge Aaron Satie
——Carmen
why not be lazy when there's nothing worth caring about

You only say that because you haven't found anything much to care about.

People don't slide down when their attention is held by something that sparks their interests and drives their life forward by sheer passion.

Most of all, these days, people aren't taught properly how to find that.
People talk about passions like everyone has one, or can find one if they just try hard enough, man!

That's bullshit.


Sαndtrap | Heroic Posting Rampage
 
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why not be lazy when there's nothing worth caring about

You only say that because you haven't found anything much to care about.

People don't slide down when their attention is held by something that sparks their interests and drives their life forward by sheer passion.

Most of all, these days, people aren't taught properly how to find that.
People talk about passions like everyone has one, or can find one if they just try hard enough, man!

That's bullshit.

If you stop and reread your sentence you'll realize that you only say that because you haven't found one. You're sitting on an entire planet's worth of places, subjects, sights and whatever else that you've never seen before. And even if you spent your life walking the planet and taking all of it in, you'll have only ever covered the smallest fraction of it.

It's an immense world. And to think that there isn't something out there that can catch your interest and make your days worthwhile is exactly like staring out your window and labeling that tiny view as the world itself. The more you restrict yourself and impose limits on yourself, then the more walls with tiny windows you'll start to see.

Nobody said it's easy to just go up and find something meaningful to you. But then again, it won't show itself if you never look for it.


Sαndtrap | Heroic Posting Rampage
 
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i guess im lazy then

Everybody's got lazy in them. It's not exactly uncommon and I wouldn't even call it a really bad thing. But it gets in the way of people sometimes. But the choice is always in the hands of people. Fight it, or don't.

What's important is your outlook on it. If you end up in a shallow unfullfilled life because of too much laziness or holding yourself back, and sit there and wallow in self pity over it, then, really, there is nobody else and nothing else to blame but yourself. And that feeds itself into a vicious circle. You feel like ass about yourself, which makes you feel like even more ass. Rinse and repeat.

But I don't think that's neccessarily the case with you. Depression can fuel laziness and make it worse. You keep going at it. Keep moving forwards and upwards. You'll get there.


 
𝑺𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒅𝑪𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒔
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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
—Judge Aaron Satie
——Carmen
why not be lazy when there's nothing worth caring about

You only say that because you haven't found anything much to care about.

People don't slide down when their attention is held by something that sparks their interests and drives their life forward by sheer passion.

Most of all, these days, people aren't taught properly how to find that.
People talk about passions like everyone has one, or can find one if they just try hard enough, man!

That's bullshit.

If you stop and reread your sentence you'll realize that you only say that because you haven't found one. You're sitting on an entire planet's worth of places, subjects, sights and whatever else that you've never seen before. And even if you spent your life walking the planet and taking all of it in, you'll have only ever covered the smallest fraction of it.

It's an immense world. And to think that there isn't something out there that can catch your interest and make your days worthwhile is exactly like staring out your window and labeling that tiny view as the world itself. The more you restrict yourself and impose limits on yourself, then the more walls with tiny windows you'll start to see.

Nobody said it's easy to just go up and find something meaningful to you. But then again, it won't show itself if you never look for it.
do you just have a stock of hallmark cards on hand or what

there could be infinite subjects out there, doesn't mean any are innately worthwhile or passion-worthy for everyone

not to mention it's hardly external lack that drives depression, it's internal


Solonoid | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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just turn off your emotions with drugs, alcohol, and obsessing over tv shows

mental distractions are the best way to keep depression subsided

thats actually what ive been doing for the most part

you may have noticed (or may not have) but ive kinda mellowed out recently and im feeling a lot better, depression-wise at least

i guess im just regretting my life so far because i couldve been actually living had i had these inhibitions removed a long time ago

idk i feel like my life can finally start now but its too late to have the experiences everyone else already had
That's no way yo go through life.

My life has been a massive clusterfuck of unfortunate happenstances, but drugs only exacerbated the problem.

You can't hide from life, you have to face it head on, or the moment it finally gets through to you, you'll snap like a twig.

A year ago, I was at the end of my rope. I had spent the years prior looking for somewhere, anywhere to belong. My family didn't care for me, and my friends weren't reliable at all.

Each time I thought I could finally settle down and move forward, things fell apart. I lost jobs, homes, friends, and possessions. Finally, one day, my AC went out.

This was the start of a downward spiral.
I lay naked for hours with my windows open to keep cool.

I made what little food I had with the limited resources I possessed.

Then I had to start stealing food (I had lost my job weeks prior).

Soon, I was carving into the walls with a knife, clutter was strewn about, and I sat downing sake and preparing for the inevitable end, but the damnable heat  kept me just sober enough to know I was miserable.

Soon they came for me. I could do nothing, so I ran, disappearing for weeks.

Indeed, I don't remember how it came to pass, but I do remember that it was my mother who found me.

I remember festering blisters and pain about the soles of my feet, a fever that would not subside, and a child who did not exist.

When I was finally coherent again, I was in a mental facility. I have no recollection of for how long, only that after coming to, I was soon let free, the tale does not end there, but all that is important does.

The reason I'm telling you this is because you can't hide from these problems forever, and they wont just go away. You need to face them now or feel the great burden of life later.


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Sol shut up


Solonoid | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Oh boo you whore.


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just turn off your emotions with drugs, alcohol, and obsessing over tv shows

mental distractions are the best way to keep depression subsided

thats actually what ive been doing for the most part

you may have noticed (or may not have) but ive kinda mellowed out recently and im feeling a lot better, depression-wise at least

i guess im just regretting my life so far because i couldve been actually living had i had these inhibitions removed a long time ago

idk i feel
like my life can finally start now but its too late to have the experiences everyone else already had
YouTube


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Have you ever tried writing? I've found it a cool thing to do when I'm sick of everything. Particularly last year when I was feeling really shitty about everything.

I do it now more because I enjoy it than it being necessary. It's a nice creative outlet.