No.

I wouldn't mind. Although what I would say without slippin' down into something depressive I don't know.

I wouldn't mind. Although what I would say without slippin' down into something depressive I don't know.

Say it. Open the floodgates!

Anyone else supper bummed about the UKIP blowout?

Anyone else supper bummed about the UKIP blowout?

I'm happy about it. UKIP is trash and deserves to stay there.

Quote from: Sandtrap on May 10, 2015, 10:34:33 AM

I wouldn't mind. Although what I would say without slippin' down into something depressive I don't know.

Say it. Open the floodgates!

Studying myself and what makes me tick. Don't like the answers. May not be able to change them. I don't believe I'm a decent person, to the point that I don't like myself. In fact I hate myself. Which is why I do what I do. All this work that I do, is done because I think I owe something. And it's never enough. Whatever I do, I'm never satisfied with it, never satisfied with what I've done. It's never enough to me. I could do things better for the people around me.

And, while I have a quaint disliking of people, and avoid them as much as I can, I am cripplingly on my own. I think all the friends I've ever had in my life weren't friends. They were acquaintances. People that were other outsiders like me. Similar people group together. So I latched onto them to cope as I went along. But they're only ever passerby.

I'm not opposed to the idea of having any sort of partner. A close friend or somebody more than that. But, I believe it won't ever happen. I stare at people and I can pick out how they work. Their words, the way they speak, their mannerisims. I can tell they wouldn't get along with me over time. Finding another person out here who is in any way like me is mathematically shit in terms of statistics.

And again, I don't believe it'll ever happen because I think I'll just go until I die. I think I'll just end up living on my own, doing my thing. And the real reason, the main one, is that I don't believe I should have that. I don't believe I should ever have that because I'm not a decent person.

If there's one thing you can say to me that goes in one ear, and out the other, it's that I'm supposedly a decent person. Even knowing that I know how I think doesn't stop it.

Quote from: Sandtrap on May 10, 2015, 10:52:36 AM

Quote from: Not Comms Officer on May 10, 2015, 10:35:12 AM

Quote from: Sandtrap on May 10, 2015, 10:34:33 AM

I wouldn't mind. Although what I would say without slippin' down into something depressive I don't know.

Say it. Open the floodgates!

Studying myself and what makes me tick. Don't like the answers. May not be able to change them. I don't believe I'm a decent person, to the point that I don't like myself. In fact I hate myself. Which is why I do what I do. All this work that I do, is done because I think I owe something. And it's never enough. Whatever I do, I'm never satisfied with it, never satisfied with what I've done. It's never enough to me. I could do things better for the people around me.

And, while I have a quaint disliking of people, and avoid them as much as I can, I am cripplingly on my own. I think all the friends I've ever had in my life weren't friends. They were acquaintances. People that were other outsiders like me. Similar people group together. So I latched onto them to cope as I went along. But they're only ever passerby.

I'm not opposed to the idea of having any sort of partner. A close friend or somebody more than that. But, I believe it won't ever happen. I stare at people and I can pick out how they work. Their words, the way they speak, their mannerisims. I can tell they wouldn't get along with me over time. Finding another person out here who is in any way like me is mathematically shit in terms of statistics.

And again, I don't believe it'll ever happen because I think I'll just go until I die. I think I'll just end up living on my own, doing my thing. And the real reason, the main one, is that I don't believe I should have that. I don't believe I should ever have that because I'm not a decent person.

If there's one thing you can say to me that goes in one ear, and out the other, it's that I'm supposedly a decent person. Even knowing that I know how I think doesn't stop it.

Why do you dislike yourself? You have to have quite a few reasons. >.>

But we seem to have similar problems, it sounds like.

I don't know. I can't pin it down. The sort of dull grey state I'm in right now leaves my head clear. And even with that I can't figure it out. The only theory or semblance of an idea I have is that I've been around so many people over time that didn't like me, that I started believing what they said. But that wouldn't leave that deep of a mark.

I can't answer it because I can ask myself questions and get answers. They're a different kind of answer. It's something that has a concreteness to it. Like it's set in stone. I ponder why I hate myself and all I ever get is that I just do. I just don't like myself. As soon as I get into any form of trouble I attack myself. Which is what keeps me up on my feet, which is what's been keeping me moving for years.

That's why I don't think I can change it. I've only gotten this far because I've hated myself. Hating myself, telling myself that I'm a piece of shit is what makes me act in the way I do for the people around me and it's what pushes me through my problems or ailments. The hate that I feel towards myself is what drives me.

Which is why I think I'm not a decent person. Take that hate away and the drive goes with it. Which means I'd be selfish.

Quote from: Not Comms Officer on May 10, 2015, 10:55:53 AM

Quote from: Sandtrap on May 10, 2015, 10:52:36 AM

Quote from: Not Comms Officer on May 10, 2015, 10:35:12 AM

Quote from: Sandtrap on May 10, 2015, 10:34:33 AM

I wouldn't mind. Although what I would say without slippin' down into something depressive I don't know.

Say it. Open the floodgates!

Studying myself and what makes me tick. Don't like the answers. May not be able to change them. I don't believe I'm a decent person, to the point that I don't like myself. In fact I hate myself. Which is why I do what I do. All this work that I do, is done because I think I owe something. And it's never enough. Whatever I do, I'm never satisfied with it, never satisfied with what I've done. It's never enough to me. I could do things better for the people around me.

And, while I have a quaint disliking of people, and avoid them as much as I can, I am cripplingly on my own. I think all the friends I've ever had in my life weren't friends. They were acquaintances. People that were other outsiders like me. Similar people group together. So I latched onto them to cope as I went along. But they're only ever passerby.

I'm not opposed to the idea of having any sort of partner. A close friend or somebody more than that. But, I believe it won't ever happen. I stare at people and I can pick out how they work. Their words, the way they speak, their mannerisims. I can tell they wouldn't get along with me over time. Finding another person out here who is in any way like me is mathematically shit in terms of statistics.

And again, I don't believe it'll ever happen because I think I'll just go until I die. I think I'll just end up living on my own, doing my thing. And the real reason, the main one, is that I don't believe I should have that. I don't believe I should ever have that because I'm not a decent person.

If there's one thing you can say to me that goes in one ear, and out the other, it's that I'm supposedly a decent person. Even knowing that I know how I think doesn't stop it.

Why do you dislike yourself? You have to have quite a few reasons. >.>

But we seem to have similar problems, it sounds like.

I don't know. I can't pin it down. The sort of dull grey state I'm in right now leaves my head clear. And even with that I can't figure it out. The only theory or semblance of an idea I have is that I've been around so many people over time that didn't like me, that I started believing what they said. But that wouldn't leave that deep of a mark.

I can't answer it because I can ask myself questions and get answers. They're a different kind of answer. It's something that has a concreteness to it. Like it's set in stone. I ponder why I hate myself and all I ever get is that I just do. I just don't like myself. As soon as I get into any form of trouble I attack myself. Which is what keeps me up on my feet, which is what's been keeping me moving for years.

That's why I don't think I can change it. I've only gotten this far because I've hated myself. Hating myself, telling myself that I'm a piece of shit is what makes me act in the way I do for the people around me and it's what pushes me through my problems or ailments. The hate that I feel towards myself is what drives me.

Which is why I think I'm not a decent person. Take that hate away and the drive goes with it. Which means I'd be selfish.

Yeah, I can't really relate to that point, since I don't really dislike myself. :/

Quote from: FatherlyNick on May 10, 2015, 11:08:34 AM

Anyone have anything special planned for the summer?

Eh, I'm gonna go down to Germany in September to take the German language proficiency test I need to take to be admitted into any decent university there.

Nazi.

Quote from: Not Comms Officer on May 10, 2015, 11:11:41 AM

Quote from: FatherlyNick on May 10, 2015, 11:08:34 AM

Anyone have anything special planned for the summer?

Eh, I'm gonna go down to Germany in September to take the German language proficiency test I need to take to be admitted into any decent university there.

Nazi.

Bitch please.

Quote from: Not Comms Officer on May 10, 2015, 11:10:55 AM

Quote from: Sandtrap on May 10, 2015, 11:07:31 AM

Quote from: Not Comms Officer on May 10, 2015, 10:55:53 AM

Quote from: Sandtrap on May 10, 2015, 10:52:36 AM

Quote from: Not Comms Officer on May 10, 2015, 10:35:12 AM

Quote from: Sandtrap on May 10, 2015, 10:34:33 AM

I wouldn't mind. Although what I would say without slippin' down into something depressive I don't know.

Say it. Open the floodgates!

Studying myself and what makes me tick. Don't like the answers. May not be able to change them. I don't believe I'm a decent person, to the point that I don't like myself. In fact I hate myself. Which is why I do what I do. All this work that I do, is done because I think I owe something. And it's never enough. Whatever I do, I'm never satisfied with it, never satisfied with what I've done. It's never enough to me. I could do things better for the people around me.

And, while I have a quaint disliking of people, and avoid them as much as I can, I am cripplingly on my own. I think all the friends I've ever had in my life weren't friends. They were acquaintances. People that were other outsiders like me. Similar people group together. So I latched onto them to cope as I went along. But they're only ever passerby.

I'm not opposed to the idea of having any sort of partner. A close friend or somebody more than that. But, I believe it won't ever happen. I stare at people and I can pick out how they work. Their words, the way they speak, their mannerisims. I can tell they wouldn't get along with me over time. Finding another person out here who is in any way like me is mathematically shit in terms of statistics.

And again, I don't believe it'll ever happen because I think I'll just go until I die. I think I'll just end up living on my own, doing my thing. And the real reason, the main one, is that I don't believe I should have that. I don't believe I should ever have that because I'm not a decent person.

If there's one thing you can say to me that goes in one ear, and out the other, it's that I'm supposedly a decent person. Even knowing that I know how I think doesn't stop it.

Why do you dislike yourself? You have to have quite a few reasons. >.>

But we seem to have similar problems, it sounds like.

I don't know. I can't pin it down. The sort of dull grey state I'm in right now leaves my head clear. And even with that I can't figure it out. The only theory or semblance of an idea I have is that I've been around so many people over time that didn't like me, that I started believing what they said. But that wouldn't leave that deep of a mark.

I can't answer it because I can ask myself questions and get answers. They're a different kind of answer. It's something that has a concreteness to it. Like it's set in stone. I ponder why I hate myself and all I ever get is that I just do. I just don't like myself. As soon as I get into any form of trouble I attack myself. Which is what keeps me up on my feet, which is what's been keeping me moving for years.

That's why I don't think I can change it. I've only gotten this far because I've hated myself. Hating myself, telling myself that I'm a piece of shit is what makes me act in the way I do for the people around me and it's what pushes me through my problems or ailments. The hate that I feel towards myself is what drives me.

Which is why I think I'm not a decent person. Take that hate away and the drive goes with it. Which means I'd be selfish.

Yeah, I can't really relate to that point, since I don't really dislike myself. :/

Doesn't matter anyway. I'm not going to live a long enough life to figure it out anyway. Iffy heart, fucked lungs, cancer tendencies in my genes? Not even counting the hostile environment and the physical strain I consistently work with, I'd put money down that within the next 10 years something will happen.

Some things you can change, and some things you can't. This is one of those mysteries I don't think I'll be able to put together.

Yeah...

I don't really know what to say aside from the fact that you'll find peace one way or another.

Quote from: Not Comms Officer on May 10, 2015, 11:29:46 AM

Quote from: Sandtrap on May 10, 2015, 11:27:28 AM

Quote from: Not Comms Officer on May 10, 2015, 11:10:55 AM

Quote from: Sandtrap on May 10, 2015, 11:07:31 AM

Quote from: Not Comms Officer on May 10, 2015, 10:55:53 AM

Quote from: Sandtrap on May 10, 2015, 10:52:36 AM

Quote from: Not Comms Officer on May 10, 2015, 10:35:12 AM

Quote from: Sandtrap on May 10, 2015, 10:34:33 AM

I wouldn't mind. Although what I would say without slippin' down into something depressive I don't know.

Say it. Open the floodgates!

Studying myself and what makes me tick. Don't like the answers. May not be able to change them. I don't believe I'm a decent person, to the point that I don't like myself. In fact I hate myself. Which is why I do what I do. All this work that I do, is done because I think I owe something. And it's never enough. Whatever I do, I'm never satisfied with it, never satisfied with what I've done. It's never enough to me. I could do things better for the people around me.

And, while I have a quaint disliking of people, and avoid them as much as I can, I am cripplingly on my own. I think all the friends I've ever had in my life weren't friends. They were acquaintances. People that were other outsiders like me. Similar people group together. So I latched onto them to cope as I went along. But they're only ever passerby.

I'm not opposed to the idea of having any sort of partner. A close friend or somebody more than that. But, I believe it won't ever happen. I stare at people and I can pick out how they work. Their words, the way they speak, their mannerisims. I can tell they wouldn't get along with me over time. Finding another person out here who is in any way like me is mathematically shit in terms of statistics.

And again, I don't believe it'll ever happen because I think I'll just go until I die. I think I'll just end up living on my own, doing my thing. And the real reason, the main one, is that I don't believe I should have that. I don't believe I should ever have that because I'm not a decent person.

If there's one thing you can say to me that goes in one ear, and out the other, it's that I'm supposedly a decent person. Even knowing that I know how I think doesn't stop it.

Why do you dislike yourself? You have to have quite a few reasons. >.>

But we seem to have similar problems, it sounds like.

I don't know. I can't pin it down. The sort of dull grey state I'm in right now leaves my head clear. And even with that I can't figure it out. The only theory or semblance of an idea I have is that I've been around so many people over time that didn't like me, that I started believing what they said. But that wouldn't leave that deep of a mark.

I can't answer it because I can ask myself questions and get answers. They're a different kind of answer. It's something that has a concreteness to it. Like it's set in stone. I ponder why I hate myself and all I ever get is that I just do. I just don't like myself. As soon as I get into any form of trouble I attack myself. Which is what keeps me up on my feet, which is what's been keeping me moving for years.

That's why I don't think I can change it. I've only gotten this far because I've hated myself. Hating myself, telling myself that I'm a piece of shit is what makes me act in the way I do for the people around me and it's what pushes me through my problems or ailments. The hate that I feel towards myself is what drives me.

Which is why I think I'm not a decent person. Take that hate away and the drive goes with it. Which means I'd be selfish.

Yeah, I can't really relate to that point, since I don't really dislike myself. :/

Doesn't matter anyway. I'm not going to live a long enough life to figure it out anyway. Iffy heart, fucked lungs, cancer tendencies in my genes? Not even counting the hostile environment and the physical strain I consistently work with, I'd put money down that within the next 10 years something will happen.

Some things you can change, and some things you can't. This is one of those mysteries I don't think I'll be able to put together.

Yeah...

I don't really know what to say aside from the fact that you'll find peace one way or another.

Who or whatever comes to say hello to me, I don't mind. You never know. I might get lucky. It could actually be somebody I could get along with. Or I just might drop on the spot one day. Who knows. Take a gamble and a coin flip and we'll see how far I can make it.

Yeah, I see that sort of thing pretty similarly to you in the way of just leaving everything open-ended to that degree. And it's a pretty depressing outlook on life. From personal experience of course. I don't get it really. I usually think of people in a positive manner, yet most of my relationships with people are just shallow and empty. Doesn't matter that I get along well with almost everyone I meet since my relationships with them are hollow.

NO LOL

Challenger being Challenger as usual.

Quote from: Not Comms Officer on May 10, 2015, 11:39:09 AM

Quote from: challengerX on May 10, 2015, 11:36:00 AM

NO LOL

Challenger being Challenger as usual.

Comms acting like he's known me my whole life as usual.

Bitch please.

I've been watching you since before I was even conceived.