Would you like to live in the Republic of Meta?

More Than Mortal · October 28, 2014, 04:05:28 PM

We know what the progressive, gun-controlled, safety-helmeted, calorie-restricted, carbon-neutral weenie dictatorship looks like. But, if you could take a little chunk of America; say, 5 million steely-eyed missile men and 5 million sleek, capable and naughty librarians and make your own little State what would it look like?

Welcome to the Republic of Meta. Politically, the fundamental structure of the Republic is familiar. It's the U.S. constitution, verbatim, with one minor change - the 28th Amendment, which reads “No one elected to public office shall, once their term expires, be eligible to hold that same office.”

Marriage

You can marry a person of the same sex in the Republic of Meta. You can marry your office chair if you’d like; we really don’t care. Some people say this de-sanctifies marriage; we think sanctity is internal and can’t be imposed by force of government. That said, there are some things you can’t do in the Republic and one of them is impose your will on others.

Property

Similarly, we believe in your right to exercise private property. If you own a restaurant, and don't want to serve Arabs, Lesbians, Conservatives or just me then that's your business. Of course, the government is totally colour-blind, and racism isn't tolerated.

Energy

The Metan economy is doing well. We have some regulations for safety, but nothing excessive. Energy is cheap and plentiful as we utilise oil, natural gas and nuclear energy, with a reasonable carbon tax to factor in externalities.

Education and Healthcare

Education and healthcare are also very affordable. They're treated as what they are - commodities. Our schools compete for students, so they're incentivised to provide high test scores and low tuition. And, aspirin in the Republic costs two cents, not twenty dollars. People pay cash for the small items, doctors and hospitals show their actual rates and consumer satisfaction; they buy stop-loss insurance for big-ticket items.

Taxes

People can also afford such items because the government doesn't tax the hell out of them. Income taxes in the Republic are 10%, and everybody pays. We get as much government as the taxes buy. Now, if you want to pay for Public Radio, the Republic of Meta Grant for Literature and Arts or a government run retirement plan then you can. You get a pull-down menu when you do your taxes online and you can direct any additional earnings to what you want them to go towards. But the original ten percent funds what the government is supposed to do: defend and build roads.

Well, we hope you enjoyed your brief tour of the Republic of Meta. You’re welcome to stay; we love hard-working people. The registration forms for legal immigration are on the counter; they’re printed in English because that’s the official language of the Republic of Meta. We’re happy to help translate into Spanish… or French, Mandarin, Russian, Korean or anything else. But we do business in English.

The rules are simple. Don’t be a jerk, and Mind your own business. It’s printed right there on the money, along with a cutout of a profile – not of me or any other politician. That profile could be anybody. That’s the profile of the common person. That’s your profile.

Welcome home.

Spoiler

The views expressed within this documented are not representative of Meta Cognition's actual opinions.

Saleem · October 28, 2014, 04:14:33 PM

Are we at war with Eastasia or Eurasia?

More Than Mortal · October 28, 2014, 04:15:43 PM

Quote from: Saleem on October 28, 2014, 04:14:33 PM

Are we at war with Eastasia or Eurasia?

Eastasia.

Mr. Psychologist · October 28, 2014, 04:17:05 PM

I think I'll pass <.<

Saleem · October 28, 2014, 04:18:37 PM

Quote from: Meta Cognition on October 28, 2014, 04:15:43 PM

Quote from: Saleem on October 28, 2014, 04:14:33 PM
Are we at war with Eastasia or Eurasia?
Eurasia.

Alright.

*Sips victory gin*

The Lord Slide Rule · October 28, 2014, 04:20:25 PM

I'd give it a go.

It's not like you can stop me from leaving if it sucks.

More Than Mortal · October 28, 2014, 04:20:46 PM

Quote from: Saleem on October 28, 2014, 04:18:37 PM

Quote from: Meta Cognition on October 28, 2014, 04:15:43 PM
Quote from: Saleem on October 28, 2014, 04:14:33 PM
Are we at war with Eastasia or Eurasia?
Eurasia.
Alright.

*Sips victory gin*

Manipulating information from Minipax?

Off to a labour camp, prole!

Dustin · October 28, 2014, 04:20:54 PM

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Hahahaha very funny Zonda · October 28, 2014, 04:22:32 PM

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More Than Mortal · October 28, 2014, 04:23:16 PM

Quote from: ねこ on October 28, 2014, 04:22:32 PM

Wut bout women?

Brutally oppressed.

As they should be.

Hahahaha very funny Zonda · October 28, 2014, 04:24:11 PM

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DAS B00T x2 · October 28, 2014, 04:49:01 PM

Sounds wonderfully libertarian leaning without being too Ron Paul...

I'll take it!

Mordo · October 28, 2014, 04:51:49 PM