I'm starting to lose it

RomanGladiator · November 05, 2014, 12:13:26 PM

Yes, after taking a drive to Dunkin Donuts and Nardelli's and talking to myself along the way about how meaningless life is. (This is how pathetic I am, I have to drive to places a few times a week to get food just to do something with my life. All I can think about while I'm driving is how much of a relief it would be to get destroyed by an 18 wheeler) Other people are working even those jobs and contributing to society while I have done nothing. I have three months of work experience and I am 22 years old. Video games consumed me since I was ten years old. Can't find a job? Just play to feel better. Rejected? Play. No social life or friends? Play. It's getting to the point where I want an accident or something horrible to happen to me because I don't have a purpose in life. Yes, I got my stupid degree but that doesn't mean shit.

I don't even know what to think anymore other than dying would be a relief so I don't have to worry about anything anymore. Unattractive, abandoned by "friends" because they know you're no fun to be around, never satisfied with your appearance, having to fake smiling and being polite and courteous to other people. No one or anyone matters. If you die, the world will continue. You only see the world through your own eyes. I went through college just because my parents wanted me to it. Video games ruled my life to the point where they were purpose of living: "If I kill myself then I won't be able to play this game." That's seriously how I used to think. And now it seems like everything's crumbling around me. I don't want to do anything, that's the point. Yes, I've been trying to get a job for six months, but it's meaningless when you don't know what you want to do. I am un-hire-able. They just need to take a look at my resume to see I haven't done jack shit in my life. I like to be realistic, and the truth is I don't matter when there is 7.5 billion people alive. I wish I was never born in the first place. Well that's it. Reality hit me and I can't deal with it.

PSU · November 05, 2014, 12:16:42 PM

Bro, getting a job isn't that important. You'll find one eventually, everyone does.

The fact that you have a degree already puts you in a category of being more successful that 80% of other people on earth.

If playing video games is what you love, than just do it. Don't feel guilty about it.

Lemy the Lizerd · November 05, 2014, 12:27:39 PM

Yeah I'm not reading all of that whining.

PSU · November 05, 2014, 12:49:27 PM

Quote from: Lemy the Lizerd on November 05, 2014, 12:27:39 PM

Yeah I'm not reading all of that whining.

Hater

gats · November 05, 2014, 02:09:36 PM

Get a job then? Apply where it suits your degree and hope for the best. Until then try out some retail positions. You like games? Apply at a store that sells games.

Mr. Psychologist · November 05, 2014, 02:11:34 PM

I think you might just need to suck it up and take whatever job comes your way. If you demonstrate that willingness to work then other more prestigious jobs should become available. Nowadays barely anyone walks out of college straight into a nice job, and if they do then they've probably already done all of the shit shovelling work <.<

Sandtrap · November 05, 2014, 02:12:20 PM

Okay bud. I'm going to do something here for you. I don't have the time to fire off a huge wall of writing, but I can speak faster than I can write today, so that's what I'm going to do in a little bit. Speak for you, to you, because speaking one's mind helps.

And you need to listen. Give me time, and I'll have something for you.

Sandtrap · November 05, 2014, 02:44:18 PM

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1hXUxjffYqm

There you go, as quick as I could, a lot of ground to cover. Gonna be busy now, but give it a listen. Faster than I can currently write today at the moment.

Dustin · November 05, 2014, 02:49:31 PM

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Lemy the Lizerd · November 05, 2014, 02:51:58 PM

Quote from: Dustin Creationism on November 05, 2014, 02:49:31 PM

Quote from: Lemy the Lizerd on November 05, 2014, 12:27:39 PM
Yeah I'm not reading all of that whining.
You'll probably be in the same position when you realize Hollywood won't hire you and no one wants to buy your shitty art.

If acting doesn't work out I'll go back to school and go into A) healthcare if my debt is horrible B) Education if it isn't

PIXLEsauce · November 05, 2014, 02:59:06 PM

You could make a career out of gaming, you know.

Luis · November 05, 2014, 03:49:45 PM

Quote from: PIXLEsauce on November 05, 2014, 02:59:06 PM

You could make a career out of gaming, you know.

Camnator · November 05, 2014, 04:01:04 PM

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challengerX · November 05, 2014, 04:05:45 PM

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BC · November 05, 2014, 04:06:36 PM

Quote from: Camnator on November 05, 2014, 04:01:04 PM

I seriously wish you and Verbatin would try cannabis. Ironically, you two are probably the kind of people it helps most. I had some of your same problems and my social life became far improved after cannabis. Before, I never wanted to speak to anyone, not even on forums.

I'm not saying anything bad.

But isn't it kind of sad that you need that to help you become a person?

Like it literally made you. Like, you don't find that a tad bit sad?

Be honest, I know you love weed and all that, but seriously think about it

BC · November 05, 2014, 04:07:40 PM

Er...

I don't really know what to say

Camnator · November 05, 2014, 04:11:27 PM

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BC · November 05, 2014, 04:12:40 PM

Quote from: Camnator on November 05, 2014, 04:11:27 PM

Quote from: BC1096 on November 05, 2014, 04:06:36 PM
Quote from: Camnator on November 05, 2014, 04:01:04 PM
I seriously wish you and Verbatin would try cannabis. Ironically, you two are probably the kind of people it helps most. I had some of your same problems and my social life became far improved after cannabis. Before, I never wanted to speak to anyone, not even on forums.

I'm not saying anything bad.

But isn't it kind of sad that you need that to help you become a person?

Like it literally made you. Like, you don't find that a tad bit sad?

Be honest, I know you love weed and all that, but seriously think about it

Not at all. It's like telling a sick person they're sad for needing medicine to function in society. If a safe and beneficial substance can improve someone's life, how is that at all sad? I used to be a very angry person because I always had head aches and let everything bother me. Cannabis cured those head aches and generally improved my mood.

I get that, but you said it completely changed who you were.

So do you believe all of that was unachievable on your own?

Camnator · November 05, 2014, 04:17:33 PM

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BC · November 05, 2014, 04:20:25 PM

Quote from: Camnator on November 05, 2014, 04:17:33 PM

Quote from: BC1096 on November 05, 2014, 04:12:40 PM
I get that, but you said it completely changed who you were.

So do you believe all of that was unachievable on your own?

No, it didn't. It just helped me stand people. Nothing is really "achieved" by being more social, but the reduction of pain definitely wasn't achievable other than Tylenol which is far worse and many people die using. Are people that drink sodas here and there horrible people or something?

You do realize I'm not judging, simply just asking questions.

Camnator · November 05, 2014, 04:21:59 PM

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BC · November 05, 2014, 04:23:31 PM

Quote from: Camnator on November 05, 2014, 04:21:59 PM

Quote from: BC1096 on November 05, 2014, 04:20:25 PM
Quote from: Camnator on November 05, 2014, 04:17:33 PM
Quote from: BC1096 on November 05, 2014, 04:12:40 PM
I get that, but you said it completely changed who you were.

So do you believe all of that was unachievable on your own?

No, it didn't. It just helped me stand people. Nothing is really "achieved" by being more social, but the reduction of pain definitely wasn't achievable other than Tylenol which is far worse and many people die using. Are people that drink sodas here and there horrible people or something?

You do realize I'm not judging, simply just asking questions.

I just don't understand that mindset at all. Ya, if you need any drug to be happy, you're not really happy, but that's not to say responsible drug use can't help you and make you feel better. Hell, alcohol and cannabis are both healthy and beneficial in moderation and can even extend your life.

I'm not asking about this. Just asking questions.

I wouldn't waste my time arguing (not saying I am or plan to) because you won't budge.

I was just curious

Camnator · November 05, 2014, 04:27:07 PM

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BC · November 05, 2014, 04:30:26 PM

Quote from: Camnator on November 05, 2014, 04:27:07 PM

Quote from: BC1096 on November 05, 2014, 04:23:31 PM
I'm not asking about this. Just asking questions.

I wouldn't waste my time arguing (not saying I am or plan to) because you won't budge.

I was just curious

Have you used cannabis before? It might surprise you that I use it maybe once or twice every month or two, it also helped me give up alcohol completely. I don't even use caffeine anymore.

I have. I see that it changes people, mostly for the worse (if used weekly) and you can't really argue that. If you do it as infrequently as you say, then I see nothing wrong with it.

I quit, because it was just not something I was about. Same with my good friend, she does it very infrequently now.

I never saw the point. Sure, I've done it at parties, albeit rarely. I'm not much of a drinker either. Halloween was the first time in months I got drunk.

Plus, it's not a matter that I'm too busy to do any of that, I have a lot of time on hands, and I have a lot of ways of getting it in my possession.

Just not about it.

Camnator · November 05, 2014, 04:35:43 PM

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Forgewolf · November 05, 2014, 09:28:36 PM

Quote from: Camnator on November 05, 2014, 04:27:07 PM

Quote from: BC1096 on November 05, 2014, 04:23:31 PM
I'm not asking about this. Just asking questions.

I wouldn't waste my time arguing (not saying I am or plan to) because you won't budge.

I was just curious

Have you used cannabis before? It might surprise you that I use it maybe once or twice every month or two, it also helped me give up alcohol completely. I don't even use caffeine anymore.

I feel like I haven't taken enough yet to complete my transformation. Is it funny that I word it that way?

Camnator · November 05, 2014, 09:31:28 PM

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Taci7urn · November 06, 2014, 04:25:51 PM

Start somewhere, anywhere, but start networking as soon as possible.