I've been sitting here for some time now thinking of how to type out a rant about all the things I encountered at university(I started a month ago) and the surrounding the city that I flat out hate, and there's quite a lot of things about the modern world that I just can't stand.


The past month has been a twofold experience, on one hand it's a confirmation of my suspicions about the problems with Western Democracy, and on the other it's been a shock at just how little I've grown as a person, at how there can be so much variety and depth to every person around me that I've never noticed and been too incompetent to even ask about. A good analogy for my experience is Simpson's paradox, it's been a month of seeing a world that I despise on a grand scale, yet love on an individual level.


Because despite all the mistakes that I've already made this year and despite how at ends I am with the people around me (for reference I've been trying to go cold turkey on the election and news and politics in general but everyone I know ends up chiming in on it and forcing me to hide what I really think) and despite how isolated and despondent I've felt about everything (I really started to doubt my love of maths as well), I just can't bring myself to hate all these people.


I can't hate my feminist friend despite how horrible feminist policies have been for the world; I can't hate my friends and family who voted for changing the flag despite it being a giant fuck you to the small amount of history we have as a country; I can't hate all the nonwhites I now live with despite them being the cause for my impending minority status and dim housing prospects. I can't hate my gay relative despite them never shutting up about their bullshit.


There's so much history and subtlety to every person that leads them to act the way they do, it's damn near impossible to make a face value judgement of who they are, let alone why they chose the views the hold. But while I'm on this point, I can hate the media; I can hate them for twisting the truth and misleading the public, for pitting the country against itself. for reference I've already pointed out that there are serious issues with accepting refugees - The media loves to portray the situation as innocent women and children fleeing from the horrors created by evil white intervention in their homeland, and that their biggest danger is evil white racists not letting them into their countries; when really the reality is that the refugees ARE FUCKING RAPISTS.

If the media actually told the truth about the refugees, if they ran those stories 24/7 instead of the current "blame whitey" shit then the public opinion would be unanimously opposed to open borders, but instead Europe is still letting them in. In summary, the media is directly responsible for every single rape that has taken place. And that's just the most obvious case, when I still watched the news I'd pick up on some deception every single day, sometimes it was simple miswording or film editing, overtimes it was flat out lies (the most notable being dismissing the fact that my country's housing problem is caused by immigrants and Chinese businesses as casual racism)And to go a step further, this entire political climate is a result of leftism/liberalism/democratic thinking.


A cornerstone of feminism/Marxism is the destruction of the patriarchy/bourgeoisie, the liberation of the oppressed/proletariat, and finally the new age of utopia now that the evil archaic world is gone. Well congratulations, you fucking got it, your ideas are taught at every level of education and in almost every field (even my calculus book is vaguely political, how very convenient that your climate data only goes back 200 years despite the earth's age); the media exclusively reports from your point of view even if (in the case of Europe) it completely contradicts reality; government policy in the Western world is in favor of your policies (lax border control, endless free trade, anything LGBT related); All the music, movies, books and even video games pander to your sensibilities.


And of course, voicing opposition gets you ostracized. All these terror attacks now stem from your fetishizing the concept of a moderate muslim and innocent refugee - If you wanted to help someone you culd always help the people already living in your own country, there's always been plenty of them, yet instead you import troubled people and you import their troubles with them.
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See I'm stuck in a position where I don't really believe in anything anymore, I've tried being apathetic, tried being optimistic, tried being right wing and left wing and anything in between, or outside of it all; tried being religious, tried being atheist, tried ignoring the world, tried learning everything about the world (The further I get into maths, the less real everything feels despite how much more I know about everything)  - And I know I'm young , that a lot of this is just angsty venting and that despite moving out of my home and living on the other-side of the country I'm still not really grown up, that I've still got a stupidly long way to go before I can say I'm not just a dumb kid anymore, that there's still lots of things that I'm not even aware of their existence - But I also know that I've learned enough from experience and theory to make a good approximate guess about things.

What I see is that the political system doesn't currently exist to improve people's lives, any benefits to humanity comes about in spite of democracy and in spite of egalitarianism, not because of it. Immigration hasn't improved my country due to some innate superiority of removing white people, but because the people who came over were simply good people. My country is peaceful and functioning not because democracy is capable of producing an effective government (it's laughable just how bad our current one has been), but because all the individual people involved work their hardest in spite of bureaucratic bullshit.
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To summarize this mess of a post, I get the undeniable feeling that the world has turned against me; sometimes it's a subtle change of words and sometimes it's an overt attack on my existence. It makes me mad as hell that I've ended up in this position and I'm even more mad that everyone before me and around me let the world end up like this. But at the same time I don't want to end up hating everything. Even in the mess of a city that I now live in there's plenty of good things and good people, even among the groups of people that i dislike the most there's still significant amounts of common ground between us; hell, on this site I agree with people more often than not despite being an abrasive dick to everyone.

I'm terrible at communicating my thoughts in any medium, but I needed to get this off my chest, bottling things up turns me into a horrible person and I want to change that but right now I haven't a clue what to do. All I really know is that I'm opposed to the modern world and I'm opposed to being a horrible person, beyond that I've only got a vague idea of improving myself  that's had mixed results so far.

Thanks to anyone that bothered to read that.
Kudos to Sandtrap for formatting, notepad killed the formatting and my enthusiasm for fixing it.

I'm gonna be a cunt just this once. I write walls too. Can't help it. Just the way I write things.

But the very top of my list when writing a wall is to keep it separated and readable. It might not be readable because of it's sheer length or my scrambled off the rail thoughts.

But damn will it ever look classy and cleanly separated.

oppie you need to spend some time off of /pol/

I get being critical of democracy and liberalism, I do, but please no /pol/ muh white minority disappearing bullshit

For sure, /pol/'s been as just as much of a nuisance as it's been helpful. That also goes for my entire forum experience.

I've decided to leave this site, it's been fun but I need to get back to the real world. Have a nice life sep7