Living with someone who is mentally ill

 
More Than Mortal
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This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.
While I'm not sure he has received a diagnosis from a clinician, my mother has always told me my uncle is bipolar. And from personal experience, I can confirm that there is definitely something wrong with him and it probably is bipolar disorder - as opposed to something similar, like BPD.

He is in his mid-to-late 40s and still lives with my grandparents. He does a lot for them, such as helping my disabled grandfather in and out of bed, and helping him out of his chair to go on walks around the house. He doesn't do this, however, out of choice. He doesn't still live with his parents out of a desire to help them; he doesn't have a job (and hasn't for a long, long time) and doesn't have any friends.

He goes up and down a lot, as you'd expect from somebody who's bipolar. I remember, a few months ago, that he was actually the happiest I've ever known him. He was smiling, friendly and slapping me on the shoulder while making jokes. I've always known him as aloof, and had learned to be wary of him even before I grasped that he is mentally ill.

Nowadays, he barely says hello when I walk in after college. Months ago (before his aforementioned "good" cycle) he snapped and shouted at my grandfather while helping him out of bed, throwing clothes and punching the light. A few weeks ago, he walked down into the kitchen and shoved my grandma out of the way of the sink, in order to fill his glass of water. And just now, as I sit in my grandmother's bedroom, I can here him in the adjacent room punching the walls and occasionally shouting.

I don't know whether it's just my family which has a somewhat considerable history of mental illness (depression, bipolar, personality disorders) or whether this is endemic in most families. Regardless, it's definitely a big enough issue to warrant significantly more attention than it gets. I don't know whether my family is an anomaly, and that it's unusual to live in such an environment that can be quite tense. Does anyone else have experience of living with somebody who's mentally ill? What's it like?


God | Ascended Posting Riot
 
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My mother is diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She takes medication for it which really mellows her out most of the time, but when she is off her meds she is incredibly irritable and prone to having tantrums.

The last one was on a trip we took together about a year ago, it was late and we were trying to find the hotel we booked, but she refused to believe me when I told her which hotel it was since she remembered it being different or something (still unsure what her reasoning was). When we went to a hotel that ended up being the wrong one she ended up throwing her car keys on the ground and punching the car radio with her fist while shouting at me, and spent a good half hour just biting her own hand before being able to drive again. She was even worse before she began taking meds at all, which didn't happen until I was in halfway through middle school.


Despite her being my only parent for most of my life, I never did learn to deal with it. After my grandma died when I was starting middle school I sincerely feared for my life because of her, and now I just avoid her even though she has gotten a lot better since she met my stepdad.


 
Sandtrap
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Rockets on my X
My sister is blind, her husband has ADHD, and my mother has enormous baggage on her head to the point of being emotionally unstable. My father's an alcoholic with insecurity issues.

No real mental disorders though. Just difficulties. I don't know if you would call or contribute a mental disorder to being a dysfunctional family, but, in a lot of cases nowadays, there are a A FUCK ton of dysfunctional families. Which, sort of makes sense, considering that roughly 50% of marriages or more, don't work out.

Keep in mind, I say don't work out, and not split. Sometimes people fight to hold things together and it only gets worse. But, to answer your question, I am very familiar with having to step around tripmines.

But it's all good. My sister fights and works alongside me despite having a quarter of one eye functioning, her husband seems to be fine at rolling along, I don't talk to my father when he's drunk, and I fight my mother's tendancy to swing around and get angry with humor.

But, you are right however. Non-functioning families, either through disorders or troubles, is downplayed quite a bit.


 
challengerX
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
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Kinder Graham | Respected Invincible!
 
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TUNNEL SNAKES RULE
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I have ADD, but don't really see it as a mental disorder. I just get impatient and distracted easily. My brother is on the autism spectrum and he was a devil when he was younger and really just wanted to punch him


Super Irish | Legendary Invincible!
 
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If I'm not here, I'm doing photography. Or I'm asleep. Or in lockdown. One of those three, anyway.

The current titlebar/avatar setup is just normal.
Dementia and Alzheimers runs strong in my mother's side of the family, but I'm not sure if it's because that side has a tendency to live far longer than average or it's actual gene related stuff (I met my great grandmother and knew her long enough until she died in her late 90's, but my great uncle died at 80 after suffering from Dementia for a good few years and needed his son to take care of him for a long time).

On the outer relations of my father's side we have raging psychopaths (coupled with early heart-disease, but that's another story). I guess I'm somewhat fortunate to say that in my direct family, there isn't someone effected by mental illness (yet, as my mother is convinced she's getting Alzheimers because of bloodlines), but atm I'm living in house with a roommate with clinical depression.

They can be happy and perhaps even manical on some days, but then others they shut-out the world and become generally unsociable. I don't know what to do to help, if I even can help.


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My mom started acting crazy around her late 20's.  A year into my parent's divorce I remember we were driving home one night and she randomly asked me if "my people" thought we should get pop from the gas station.  Being 7ish I just said sure and didn't think much of it.  But over the span of the 6 year divorce it gradually got worse.  She thought pretty much every person she has or ever had came into contact with was in the CIA, one faction on our side and another on my dad's side out to get us.  My dad tried having the judge force her to get diagnosed to get help since the judge refused to give him custody and she was court ordered to but skipped it and the judge never held her for contempt.  My dad filed a complaint on the judge and won the case representing himself.  I guess she has some kind of pyschosis or schizophrenia?


 
gats
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You will find out who you are not a thousand times, before you ever discover who you are. I hope you find peace in yourself and learn to love instead of hate.
I have an uncle that suffers from schizophrenia. Other than his usual delusions and quick changes in behaviour he's pretty funny. One time he went into mosques and stole qurans. lol