I just found out my childhood best friend has skipped town because she has warrants out for her arrest.

She was on probation for possession of paraphernalia (a meth pipe), and for driving while under the influence of methamphetamine.

She has always had issues with addiction. First it was her anorexia, then coke, and now meth.

The court ordered her to go to rehab twice. The first time she was admitted she worked the system to get out the same time her fiancé got out of jail for his second or third DUI.

The second time she didn't even show up.

I found out that she failed one of her probation drug tests, mouthed off to a judge, and then skipped town.

I learned this after I found out that her fiancé was admitted to ICU after over dosing on meth. He injected himself with a gram of meth.

I met her when I was very young. We moved into our neighborhood on the same day almost 24 years ago. I have watched her struggle through the years with her addictive personality. I just never knew it would ever get this bad.

I thought her selling her body for meth was her rock bottom, but oh how I was wrong.

I am very distraught and disappointed that she refused to gain control over her life. I used to go to AA and CA (cocaine anonymous) with her so she wouldn't have to go alone, and so I knew she was actually going. It was never enough to stop her.

I wish I could understand but this is the hardest thing to understand until you develop your own addiction.

I just don't know how to feel. I'm apathetic and yet I want to track her down and beat her ass. I'm apathetic because I wrote her off as dead after she began using meth again while on probation and buying others piss to pass her own tests.

Has anyone else had any similar experiences?

Her body, her choice.

Quote from: SecondClass on May 30, 2015, 03:16:18 PM

Her body, her choice.

I agree with you but shouldn't you at least try to help?

If she's asking for it, of course.

If she doesn't want it, then of course not.

Her fiance sounds like a piece of shit, too. Birds of a feather, I guess.

Quote from: goots on May 30, 2015, 03:28:39 PM

Quote from: SecondClass on May 30, 2015, 03:25:06 PM

Quote from: goots on May 30, 2015, 03:19:18 PM

Quote from: SecondClass on May 30, 2015, 03:16:18 PM

Her body, her choice.

I agree with you but shouldn't you at least try to help?

If she's asking for it, of course.

If she doesn't want it, then of course not.

oh okay yeah just let them kill themselves

If they're stupid enough to do that, then they don't deserve to live anyways.

well if someone is pumping themselves full of class A drugs they're not exactly in a right state of mind.

jeez I'd hate to have you guys as friends. where's the compassion

Nah I don't hang out with fiends.

I don't either.
I just grew up with an aspiring addict.
I'm an only child and I considered her my family. I still call her my sister, but I haven't spoken to her in over a year.

The worse part is nothing traumatic actually ever happened to her to trigger it. She just didn't take her parent's divorce very well, and her dad was a sleeze ball.

that sounds like an event that can be emotionally traumatizing.

I've been there.

I've been there.

Would you mind explaining the mentality behind it?
I'm seriously curious. I don't know if there is anything I can do, or if I should do anything.

Would you mind explaining the mentality behind it?
I'm seriously curious. I don't know if there is anything I can do, or if I should do anything.

I mean, I've known people with addictive personalities, and I know the confusion, and the anger, and the disappointment. The mentality changes depending on the person, of course. From what I'm able to gather, the most common catalyst is depression.

A lot of drug abusers, and people with addictive personalities, are also very depressed for some reason or another. It's important to remember that depression isn't necessarily intense sadness or mopeyness. For most thinking people, it's a state of perpetual boredom, malaise, and apathy. Nothing you do feels like it's worth it. Time either goes by too slow, making you feel like you're frozen in time, or too fast, making you think you're wasting your days away being useless. Everything you used to enjoy doing, you cannot derive enjoyment from anymore. You grow tired of who you are and what you're living through. For some people, they begin to lose the will to live. You start getting paranoid, thinking that everyone secretly hates you, is getting sick of you, or doesn't care about you. And it doesn't end. The only thing that you truly want is to either fade away, or get rid of the feeling. To get yourself out of the rut.

Drugs allow you to make that feeling go away. As stupid and dangerous and irresponsible as they are, that's just what they do. They allow you to cheat your psychology, mask your problems, and pretend as though your life means something now, because now you're happier. You're more sociable. You're less paranoid. Instead of finding meaning in their lives, they create meaning.

This is why most people drink alcohol, I'd wager.

That's all I really have. I'm one of the most depressed people I know, and I've never, ever thought for even a single moment to ever use drugs, and I have a burning contempt for those who do. Why I happen to be an "exception", I don't know. It's all very frustrating and confusing. But yeah, that's essentially what I meant when I said I knew that feeling. I haven't answered your question fully, because I can't, really. And that part's frustrating, too. I've lashed out at countless people for indulging in various substances--even weed--because I value so much our capacity to be sober. Our capacity to be in total control of our faculties. That's the part I will never understand: Your brain is the most important organ in your body. Why in the fuck would you EVER fuck with it?

But what I've learned is that not everybody values their agency as much as I do.
I think they're fucking idiots, but I guess that's just the truth of the matter.

I just say what I believe. No one has an obligation to live.

i believe the same thing, in essence
but it's just so infuriatingly off-subject, though

it's not about forcing people out of their choices--it's about convincing people to make the right choices

no i don't lol

i don't have to accept shit

caring about the welfare of others, though it may be an alien concept to you, is not a problem by any rational means

That's all I really have. I'm one of the most depressed people I know, and I've never, ever thought for even a single moment to ever use drugs, and I have a burning contempt for those who do. Why I happen to be an "exception", I don't know. It's all very frustrating and confusing. But yeah, that's essentially what I meant when I said I knew that feeling. I haven't answered your question fully, because I can't, really. And that part's frustrating, too. I've lashed out at countless people for indulging in various substances--even weed--because I value so much our capacity to be sober. Our capacity to be in total control of our faculties. That's the part I will never understand: Your brain is the most important organ in your body. Why in the fuck would you EVER fuck with it?

But what I've learned is that not everybody values their agency as much as I do.
I think they're fucking idiots, but I guess that's just the truth of the matter.

You don't see the same thing in others because not many people have such hardline values when they're options in life are put through the filter of depression. I'm pretty fucking nihilistic and depressed and avoid drugs because I know they work too well for me and I enjoy incapacitating myself too much. What value is my agency if it seems I'm not ever going to use it to satisfy myself? If being sober doesn't compel me to live, tell me what should compel me to avoid drugs?

She should be locked up. it's only a matter of time until she hurts someone else. I don't give a shit what she does to herself.

I couldn't agree with you more. The judge who decided that she deserved a second chances is considered to be one of the toughest judges in our area and is intolerable to drug charges. Him letting her skip jail was the biggest mistake.