Don't trust Big Pharma or Ag, the FDA, or WTO? I've got what you need!

Turkey | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Hey there Sep7agon, are you feeling tired or groggy? Not completely excited to wake up every day? Maybe a bit flabby or overworked? Tired of trusting what Big Pharma says is healthy, or what Big Agriculture says is safe to eat? Mistrustful of the FDA and WTO?
We here at Snake Oil Promotions® have just the solution for you!

Are you eating regular ol' beef, chicken and pork, and still feeling down? Well that's because of all the chemicals and hormones and water pumped into them by Big Agra to make you unhealthy!*
(We at SOP are legally required to inform you that hormones are banned from use in poultry and pork in the U.S., and in beef the residual hormones left in edible tissue is negligible, and consumed in quantities 1000s of times larger in regular, home-grown veggies and nuts. But don't let fact inform your lifestyle!)

So what's the solution, you ask? Let me make your decision for you! Eat organic meats and veggies! They're not full of all the chemicals and pesticides Big Agra uses!*
(Again we have to clarify that this isn't actually true; organic food also uses lots of pesticides and growth additives, but because it's slightly more natural we get to pretend there's a difference! Lying is fun!)

Still not comfortable with eating meat? No problem! We completely understand your aversion to cancer-causing toxins found throughout cattle and livestock! May we suggest a nice block of tofu? (Please disregard that tofu contains 10,000x as much estrogen hormone as a serving of beef.) Of course, if you're going to be eating a meat-free diet, you're going to need a way to supplement your nutrients somehow, and we have exactly what you need!* (Depending on what new product has avoided being banned yet by the FDA due to unforeseen and unscreened side effects like seizures, infertility, death, and more!) Nevermind all the Capitalist Propaganda that says a healthy, balanced diet contains all the nutrients you need! And all those minerals and weird chemicals definitely do not build up in your arteries and organs, or stress your liver to the point of early failure! In fact, you can even just use our quick and handy detox diet which consists of drinking lemon water for a week and taking a random pill we say is healthy. Normally your liver would clean up any scary toxins in your body, but now that you've ruined it with synthetic trash Miracle Pills, you'll need it!

But on the off chance these Magic Products come with some side effects, we have another solution: homeopathy! Homeopathy is basically using natural plants with big confusing names and pretending they're good for you. Also, all of it is untested by the Evil FDA, so you can be sure Wall Street doesn't have its grimy fat cat fingers in it! (Please disregard that the FDA requires decades of testing and refinement just to release a product, and in the unlikely case of severe side effects, the FDA will ban the product and sue the team into oblivion.)

Sep7agon, I hope you've seen the light and realized that a healthy, happy lifestyle is just a random pill away! And remember: if you can't pronounce it or don't understand the science behind something, it's not good for you!



Snake Oil Promotions®
Science is scary. We'll choose for you.â„¢
Last Edit: September 29, 2015, 03:52:01 PM by HurtfulTurkey


 
More Than Mortal
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This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.
To be fair, you could be pretty justified in not trusting the FDA and being indifferent to the WTO.

Big Pharma, for all its flaws, still manages to get too much slack.


Turkey | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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To be fair, you could be pretty justified in not trusting the FDA and being indifferent to the WTO.

Big Pharma, for all its flaws, still manages to get too much slack.

I agree! That's why every night before bed I rub fresh basil leaves all over my pillow to prevent toxins from building up in my brain while I sleep.


Jocephalopod | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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I witnessed my local CVS detaining sovereign citizens at the pharmacy drive through.


the end times truly are near


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My problem with the pharmaceutical industry is how they have basically taken over as the new standard for conventional medicine. My problem isn't really with the drugs themselves, but the direction that modern medicine has taken. It all revolves around symptomatic relief.

For example, you go in to see a doctor for an eczema rash. The first thing he/she will probably do is prescribe a steroidal cream to suppress the autoimmune reaction. While it will make the symptom (red skin) go away, it ignores the underlying issue, which is that it's caused most likely by intestinal permeability caused by food sensitivities and a poor diet.

Most doctors will spend 10-15 minutes maximum with you, you'll ask what your symptoms are and they'll prescribe you something that will relieve said symptoms, without really getting to the root cause of the issue. Everyone wants a quick fix or a magic pill, and that's really hurting modern medicine.


 
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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
—Judge Aaron Satie
——Carmen
Nice meme. Doesn't stop those organisations from being corrupt and evil.


Turkey | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Nice meme. Doesn't stop those organisations from being corrupt and evil.

But the alternatives are corrupt, predatory, unregulated, and unscientific. I'd rather take the FDA with a heaping of salt than trust what some blogger says is the latest health trend.


 
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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
—Judge Aaron Satie
——Carmen
Nice meme. Doesn't stop those organisations from being corrupt and evil.

But the alternatives are corrupt, predatory, unregulated, and unscientific. I'd rather take the FDA with a heaping of salt than trust what some blogger says is the latest health trend.
How about neither? Make your own choices. Look at the ingredients. Don't be a sheep.


 
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This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.
Look at the ingredients. Don't be a sheep.
That's a great way of bringing society to a halt when everybody--most of whom are fucking stupid, let alone totally ignorant of pharmacology--is checking the fucking ingredients of their medicine.


 
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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
—Judge Aaron Satie
——Carmen
Look at the ingredients. Don't be a sheep.
That's a great way of bringing society to a halt when everybody--most of whom are fucking stupid, let alone totally ignorant of pharmacology--is checking the fucking ingredients of their medicine.
Then the obvious alternative is to have a food and drug administration that isn't literally fucking owned by the companies it's supposed to regulate. Until that happens (it won't) self-regulation is the only way.


 
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This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.
that isn't literally fucking owned by the companies it's supposed to regulate.
Gee, that must be why the FDA is routinely criticised for being too sluggish. . .

Does regulatory capture happen? Sure, but bureaucrats are usually more concerned with keeping their cushy government job. If you want to make the FDA better, you need to streamline the system and make it more efficient/quicker. The problems with the FDA today are, by and large, little to do with corporations pushing through their products.

Hell, the FDA doesn't even allow the reduction of the risk of cardiac arrest to be advertised on Aspirin, despite the fact that it's a well-known benefit.


 
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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
—Judge Aaron Satie
——Carmen
The FDA isn't incompetent, it's corrupt.


Turkey | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Make your own choices. Look at the ingredients. Don't be a sheep.

The FDA-mandated ingredients list?


 
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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
—Judge Aaron Satie
——Carmen
Make your own choices. Look at the ingredients. Don't be a sheep.

The FDA-mandated ingredients list?
Wow, sometimes bad people are pressured to do good things. Hitler was nice to his dog, I guess that excuses everything else!


Turkey | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Make your own choices. Look at the ingredients. Don't be a sheep.

The FDA-mandated ingredients list?
Wow, sometimes bad people are pressured to do good things. Hitler was nice to his dog, I guess that excuses everything else!

Tbh I'm really confused as to what your position is. Do you not eat meats or products from large companies or FDA approved drugs and food? I'm genuinely asking here, because I'm not at all trying to excuse the FDA's past shittiness or its current inefficacy and ties to corporations, but it's also unreasonable to say all the science around food and drugs is complete bunk.


 
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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
—Judge Aaron Satie
——Carmen
If the FDA approves something, it's not like I refuse to eat it on that basis. But the reverse is true, too. If the FDA deems something unfit to consume, I take that with a grain of salt. All in all, I do my own research on what to eat. I have a problem with the people who take the FDA's decisions as the gospel truth.


Turkey | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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All in all, I do my own research on what to eat.

I do the same. But whenever I bring up the research I've done (for instance, fluoride in tap water or aspartame toxicity), you blow it off and call me a government shill. Just because my position happens to coincide with the FDA's doesn't make it wrong.


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Why do people act like you can't research this stuff yourself? Biology is biology, and you can fact check if someone is bullshitting you. Just how doctors regularly point out how the FDA doesn't give decent health information. They swore up and down bread and wheat was a health miracle yet forgetting insulin spikes due to the glucose in bread.