Death in the family...

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How do you guys handle death in the family? Especially if its someone close that you know. I've told a couple of you via PM or outside the site the whole story on what happened with me these past few weeks and I won't get into detail here, but I've recently lost a family member that everyone was close with in my family.

Their death was extremely sudden and unexpected, something that you would think wouldn't happen in a million years to that person, but it did. Everyone was in shock, and even in denial.

We've grieved in our own way, I for one couldn't really stay at home and I had to go outside to one of the libraries here to find some peace as well as explore the park that the library is located on.

As time went by, things begin to heal, but things aren't really any better, if that makes any sense. What about you guys?


 
Luciana
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I sort of have to be by myself. When I'm around others we obviously talked about the good times, laughed sadly, etc.

But a lot of times I'm alone. Or confide to my significant other. At least when I had one. Best friend also is nice. Basically, I actually just kind of get away from the family and talk to an outside party since they're not as affected by it and have a cooler head. That calmness soothes me.

Edit: And for what it's worth, I'm sorry you're going through pain like that. It's never fun.


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I just go with the motions. Bottom line is: they're gone, and there's nothing you can do but cherish the memories you made with them.

Although, I suppose that I have went numb to the whole concept of a loved one dying considering a lot of people in my family have died within the past decade.


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"A time is coming when men will go mad, and when they see someone who is not mad, they will attack him saying, 'You are mad, you are not like us'."
-Saint Anthony the Great
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Luciana
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I've been blessed to have only experienced close deaths recently. The kind of thing that would devastate a younger me really had no impact when it came. I attribute it to years of desensitization through the internet and video games. I feel bad about it sometimes. I'm a cold dude, and not in the positive sense.

So it's hard for me to sympathize with the losses others experience. I really want to, but it's alien to me at this point.
It's what makes us human. You can feel a bit sorry for their pain, but to not care if they have no impact on you personally is only natural. Hell even my grandma dying and my mother breaking down in tears didn't really phase me all that much.


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I sort of have to be by myself. When I'm around others we obviously talked about the good times, laughed sadly, etc.

But a lot of times I'm alone. Or confide to my significant other. At least when I had one. Best friend also is nice. Basically, I actually just kind of get away from the family and talk to an outside party since they're not as affected by it and have a cooler head. That calmness soothes me.

Edit: And for what it's worth, I'm sorry you're going through pain like that. It's never fun.

Its alright. Life is just fucking unpredictable sadly. Whatever plans you have, you never really know if you'll ever achieve them, you'll never really know for sure if there is a tomorrow for you until you live to see it I suppose.


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I've been around a fair number of people who've gone up and died. Some were family, others were close friends. Some where people I knew on a regular basis.

I cried for a time and continued about with what I had to do. I can understand the empty feeling that never quite leaves you in their absence. Some people have that effect on you. But then I realize that I don't have to dwell on thier absence alone. I've got the memories of time spent with them.

In some situations, some days, I'd ask myself, "what would this person do or say?" I know them well enough to remember their mannerisms and personality. I imagine what they would do at the present moment alongside me. It gives me some measure of comfort and humor.


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I've been around a fair number of people who've gone up and died. Some were family, others were close friends. Some where people I knew on a regular basis.

I cried for a time and continued about with what I had to do. I can understand the empty feeling that never quite leaves you in their absence. Some people have that effect on you. But then I realize that I don't have to dwell on thier absence alone. I've got the memories of time spent with them.

In some situations, some days, I'd ask myself, "what would this person do or say?" I know them well enough to remember their mannerisms and personality. I imagine what they would do at the present moment alongside me. It gives me some measure of comfort and humor.

I ask myself that too, many times.


 
Naru
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The Rage....
No idea, no one I actually cared for in my family has died at the moment. Grandma, I don't talk to her really, uncle, well I don't care really (just his life before and hidden details from his son), and a brain dead cousin, all died from what I remember. I can't really sympathize with what you're dealing with, but I never really felt sad for those deaths. All I said was, well, its bound to happen and we can only just remember them for the good they've caused.


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No idea, no one I actually cared for in my family has died at the moment. Grandma, I don't talk to her really, uncle, well I don't care really (just his life before and hidden details from his son), and a brain dead cousin, all died from what I remember. I can't really sympathize with what you're dealing with, but I never really felt sad for those deaths. All I said was, well, its bound to happen and we can only just remember them for the good they've caused.

Jeez. We have some non sympathetic people here. Then yet again this is Sep7agon...


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Eh. I sort of realised/ accepted a long time ago that everything dies at some point, and there's no point crying over it because its waste of time and it won't change anything.

It sucks, but I'm not going to let something like that affect how I live my life even for a day. I know, at least, anyone close enough for me to care about would expect me to be able to get on with business.


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Eh. I sort of realised/ accepted a long time ago that everything dies at some point, and there's no point crying over it because its waste of time and it won't change anything.

It sucks, but I'm not going to let something like that affect how I live my life even for a day. I know, at least, anyone close enough for me to care about would expect me to be able to get on with business.

Crying is a normal part of grieving for most people, including myself. Everybody grieves differently. To say that its a waste of time is an insult to those who really need it.

When you lose someone who was really close with you who came by every weekend, birthday, let alone fucking Christmas and New Year, and that person was extremely positive in your life, you're never going to feel the fucking same again.

So I don't need you to tell me its a waste of time, and I wouldn't expect people in my real life to just carry on with their business in less than a day if I died. Shit takes time for a lot of people.
Last Edit: September 19, 2016, 03:06:34 AM by Decimator Omega


 
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We knew the world would not be the same.
A few people laughed, a few people cried, most people were silent.
I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad-Gita.
Vishnu is trying to persuade the Prince that he should do his duty
and to impress him takes on his multi-armed form and says,
"Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.."
I suppose we all thought that one way or another.
My roommate's brother was found dead at the start of this past summer. Cops found his car off the side of a cliff. He had a really hard coping and I convinced him to go on a trip for at least a week to get away from everything for a while, so he went to go visit a friend in another state.

Seems like it helped a lot, but fact is that if someone's close to you the pain is never going to completely go away.


 
Naru
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The Rage....
No idea, no one I actually cared for in my family has died at the moment. Grandma, I don't talk to her really, uncle, well I don't care really (just his life before and hidden details from his son), and a brain dead cousin, all died from what I remember. I can't really sympathize with what you're dealing with, but I never really felt sad for those deaths. All I said was, well, its bound to happen and we can only just remember them for the good they've caused.

Jeez. We have some non sympathetic people here. Then yet again this is Sep7agon...
like i said, no one i deeply cared about has died. i really cant be sad for someone ive never had a connection with, like you did with your loved one, so its hard to imagine


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If I'm not here, I'm doing photography. Or I'm asleep. Or in lockdown. One of those three, anyway.

The current titlebar/avatar setup is just normal.
No idea, no one I actually cared for in my family has died at the moment. Grandma, I don't talk to her really, uncle, well I don't care really (just his life before and hidden details from his son), and a brain dead cousin, all died from what I remember. I can't really sympathize with what you're dealing with, but I never really felt sad for those deaths. All I said was, well, its bound to happen and we can only just remember them for the good they've caused.

Jeez. We have some non sympathetic people here. Then yet again this is Sep7agon...
like i said, no one i deeply cared about has died. i really cant be sad for someone ive never had a connection with, like you did with your loved one, so its hard to imagine

I too have the fortune to have no dead close relatives, yet.

Most died before I was born (e.g. some Grandparents on both sides) and some I don't know all that well so hearing of their deth wouldn't phase me much, unless it was a particularly gruesome end.

And to answer your question Deci, I've not a clue. I think if I thought about the time spent I might feel worse because I wouldn't be ble to revisit/re-live  those moments, so I'd try to blank them. Sounds pretty cruel doing that to someone who's died recently that I cared about, but they won't care afterwards and I would have to cope somehow for the time being.


 
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
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