Original text:

"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo."

...10 translations later, Yandex gives us:

"What the hell, this is bullshit, tell me you don't have enough problems? What you need to know: what led me to my class naval forces, special forces and have been involved in a number of attacks on the mystery of al Qaeda, and I've more than 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla war, and that I'm the best sniper in the entire United States army. You're nothing for me, but for other purposes. Shit, in cooperation with an accuracy which has never been seen on earth, mark my words. You think you can tell me over the Internet? Think again, bitch. And we, I said, and my secret network of spies in the United States and Your IP is being tracked right now so you better prepare for the storm, stream. The storm that wipes pathetic, what you call your life. You are dead meat. And can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my hands. Don't know, I extensively trained unarmed combat, but I should have access to the entire Arsenal of the marine corps of the UNITED States, and we must use their fingers to regain your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only I could know what evil is punished a little smart comments that fell on you, you can spend your bloody language. But you must be, and must now pay the price, you goddamn idiot. I'm going to shit in a rage, and all around you, and you have to take risks. You are dead meat."

Original text:

"Uranus is the third largest planet in the Solar System. It has a diameter of 31,765 miles or 51,118 kilometers which is about four times the diameter of Earth. Uranus has a volume which is about 63 times the volume of Earth which means that 63 Earths can fit inside Uranus."

 ...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:

 "The sky is the third planet in the solar system. Inch,31,765 51,118 km. Or km, Which is almost four times greater than the diameter of the earth, the air, the sky,the world, home to 63 63 times."

Original text:

"Oh no, my pineapple is ruined."

...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:

"Nothing."

Original text:

"I would berry my dick so far inside your ass who ever could pull it out would be crowned king arthur"

...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:

"This is the legend of king Arthur."