The mods who can read IP addresses will know who I am. However, I'm still posting this on a throwaway.

Basically, I can feel myself getting worse. I'm more angry, and feel more violent. There are moments when I feel incredibly close to lashing out, even against family and friends. I thought occupying myself and having things to do would improve the situation and make me feel like this less. But I feel like I'm getting worse and worse as time goes by.

I'm becoming exceptionally manipulative, as well, pitting my closest friends against each other just for the sport. I feel like getting into arguments with teachers and it's like I'm looking for reasons to be pissed off. I also feel like my friends are noticing me being less agreeable and much more sadistic/cruel in what I say and do.

I'm not entirely sure where to go from here.