not sure if you're still discussing in this thread but after reading through some of the pages i feel like i should give my two cents. i don't talk about what i am about to tell you often at all and i didn't sleep much last night, so bear with me here.

these feelings of emotional emptiness that you're dealing with and being unable to deeply connect with other people is something that i shared throughout the majority of my life. having a group of friends, socializing, and sharing romantic feelings with girls were completely foreign concepts to me. up until the very end of my senior year of high school, i was constantly fighting myself in and out of depression and ended up being very reclusive. i hated everything about myself and spent many hours looking at myself in the mirror and wishing that i was different. this lead me to make really bad decisions that could have seriously affected me in a bad way, one of these decisions was frequently getting blackout drunk at home alone around the time when i had just turned 17 because i thought it would help me cope with my problems...but, obviously, that only made it worse and it led to the breaking point - my failed suicide attempt.

anyway, during this time there were people who wanted to help me. my older brothers always sensed that something was wrong and would try prying me open in attempts to help, but i would deny any advice thrown at me. 'why should i do these things, it's not going to work for me, i'm just too different from everyone else, so there's no point in even trying.' this was what i told myself instead of accepting help from others, and it was this mentality that i feel was at the root of my dark past. i was afraid of failure and would avoid trying anything anybody told me because of that.

eventually, nearing the end of my senior year, i met one of my best friends who without a doubt is responsible for helping me make a complete turnaround on my life. he was in a few of my classes but we never really shared anything more than awkward small-talk. on one occasion he asked me for a ride home and i was very close to making up a reason why i couldn't, but i'm glad i did because it sparked a close connection with someone, which was something that i had simply never felt before. he told me that he could always tell just from looking at me that i was constantly hurting on a daily basis and wanted to help, because he also shared similar problems in his life. listening to his story and what he went through helped me realize that i wasn't so different from other people after all, that maybe it is possible to make a positive change for your outlook on life. if he did it, why couldn't i do it too?

what i'm trying to get at with all of this is that, you'd be surprised how similar human beings really are on a conscious level. having the mindset that only you are dealing with a certain problem is fallacious, because everyone on this planet is fighting with their own demons on the inside. don't be scared of failure when offered advice, because failure is not as bad as you may perceive it to be. the cost of not trying is so much higher than giving up the chance of making a positive change because the fear of failure is there.

haha memes

no way i'd buy a psychedelic substance from a random, that's just asking to be ripped off tbh

don't worry guys i promise i won't die 

shoestring is obviously the god-tier of fries

idiots

i'm currently locked out of my apartment so i'd say it's been a pretty good Friday night so far

why not?

I WANNA BE A MOTHAFUCKIN GANGSTA

remember kids, always bring your own clean needles when injecting marijuana to reduce your risk of contracting AIDS!

I'm already dead

am i talking to a ghost?

spam

i'm definitely not the only one who clicked on the badoo ads

nah fuck english, we speak AMERICAN here

don't mind me as i enjoy my year-round summers down here in florida

yeah dude if i were you i wouldn't take those...

and as i typed that i see you just took them, c'mon man