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Messages - challengerX
31
« on: July 15, 2020, 02:34:27 AM »
Pardon my intrusion into the conversation as I read along. Just a question out of curiosity. Why attempt to bury dirty laundry by seeking account deletion? I only ask since any sort of move of that caliber stands against my own personal code of conduct, and it has me curious as to the mentality of it.
”dirty laundry”? Hahaha what the fuck. I don’t want to be associated with this place or with the people on here anymore. That’s it. If I was trying to hide my own shit why would I bring up stuff I’ve said? Man you really thought you said something too 😂👍
Why go the extra mile and ask for account deletion and not just walk off then? Not wanting to associate has a set of very different meanings to it.
yeah it means I don’t want to have any association with you, verbatim, or anyone else on here because I think you’re all very weird and boring people
32
« on: July 15, 2020, 02:32:52 AM »
you didn’t watch the video did you. It’s not about not posting dude, I have no temptation to post here. As you can see I’ve basically been inactive here almost the entire year. I don’t want to be associated with this place anymore. I’m glad to see quite a few users have changed their ways, but I still don’t want to be associated with this place.
but you're having cheat permaban you though right
why is that necessary, is what i'm asking
why not just leave without a word
Because I don’t want to be a part of this website. I tried to leave without a word but cheat didn’t answer for me 2 days so I made a thread. Then I saw Ender’s post and it shocked me how much she changed, so I talked to her, then I talked to you. Why are you so worried about what I’m doing?
it's just so fucking weird and lame
if i were to leave, i would sign off and never sign in again, getting cheat to ban me isn't a necessary part of that process
ok I really appreciate your input
33
« on: July 15, 2020, 02:16:26 AM »
you didn’t watch the video did you. It’s not about not posting dude, I have no temptation to post here. As you can see I’ve basically been inactive here almost the entire year. I don’t want to be associated with this place anymore. I’m glad to see quite a few users have changed their ways, but I still don’t want to be associated with this place.
but you're having cheat permaban you though right
why is that necessary, is what i'm asking
why not just leave without a word
Because I don’t want to be a part of this website. I tried to leave without a word but cheat didn’t answer for me 2 days so I made a thread. Then I saw Ender’s post and it shocked me how much she changed, so I talked to her, then I talked to you. Why are you so worried about what I’m doing?
34
« on: July 15, 2020, 02:06:32 AM »
destroys temptation, and eliminates accountability
but also not really, since you can still read blacklisted members' posts by checking their profile
besides those two reasons, there's nothing else
seriously why can't you just not post if you don't want to, why does it have to be a thing
you didn’t watch the video did you. It’s not about not posting dude, I have no temptation to post here. As you can see I’ve basically been inactive here almost the entire year. I don’t want to be associated with this place anymore. I’m glad to see quite a few users have changed their ways, but I still don’t want to be associated with this place.
35
« on: July 15, 2020, 01:32:30 AM »
destroys temptation, and eliminates accountability
but also not really, since you can still read blacklisted members' posts by checking their profile
besides those two reasons, there's nothing else
36
« on: July 15, 2020, 01:22:30 AM »
Pardon my intrusion into the conversation as I read along. Just a question out of curiosity. Why attempt to bury dirty laundry by seeking account deletion? I only ask since any sort of move of that caliber stands against my own personal code of conduct, and it has me curious as to the mentality of it.
”dirty laundry”? Hahaha what the fuck. I don’t want to be associated with this place or with the people on here anymore. That’s it. If I was trying to hide my own shit why would I bring up stuff I’ve said? Man you really thought you said something too 😂👍
37
« on: July 14, 2020, 09:43:13 PM »
That’s the tone you take when you have conversations, you always want to be right.
I always want to be understood.
If that’s what you think ok.
38
« on: July 14, 2020, 09:18:48 PM »
I just like discussion for discussion's sake. Positive or negative, it literally doesn't matter. If you were to watch all of Evangelion and you thought it sucked, I would encourage you to go for paragraphs upon paragraphs explaining to me why, because I'm there for the discourse. Not to prove you why you're wrong or whatever, but because I'm genuinely interested in your reaction (unless you're like Flee, and intentionally missing the point just to be annoying. That's no fun).
The people I consider my friends don't have to like all the same things I do. Just knowing that I have somebody to talk about stuff with is enough. My "going on for three days" was me trying to engage with you about something you were interested in. If I were you, I'd find that exciting, not discouraging or annoying.
Just a personality difference, I guess. You were always being argumentative. You know that. I don't recall ever trying to shut a conversation down.
That’s the tone you take when you have conversations, you always want to be right. Look this really isn’t that big of a deal. I don’t dislike you or hold anything against you.
39
« on: July 14, 2020, 07:58:50 PM »
But it's absolutely true that I could've been less harsh when you were just trying to help out, especially when the advice wasn't completely unsolicited. That’s all I was saying. Are you talking about Breaking Bad? You asked me to watch the show, so I eventually did, and I gave my honest thoughts about it. I wasn't into the first season, but it did get better, and I decided it was a pretty good show by the time I finished it.
To quit after a few episodes after deciding "it wasn't for me" is, to me, extremely fucking lame. Especially when you've been hyping it up like crazy, and obviously want to know what I think about it. I always give people my in-depth thoughts on stuff when they ask me to watch stuff. It's my way of giving back. If those thoughts happen to be negative, what's the big deal? I don't get it. I never shat on you for the recommendation, and if anything, it gives us the chance to have a discussion on what you personally liked about it so we can come to an understanding.
There's no way you actually see anything wrong with that, so I don't understand what this weird disconnect is. Well that’s just something you’re into doing. If I don’t like something I may continue watching it to give it a chance or I’ll just drop it. I won’t spend a bunch of my time posting every thought I’ve ever had about it especially when it’s a rehash of the same negative opinion. Well, I've softened my stance on mods and piracy and other game-related stuff recently, so there's that. If you asked me to play some Half-Life mod with you, I'd probably say "sure" (although the issue right now is that I don't even have a machine that could run it).
As far as "injecting myself into conversations," I don't really understand what the big deal is there either. I can't always be there at the very beginning of every discussion, man. And if I have something to say about a topic, I'm gonna say it. There shouldn't be anything wrong with that. There’s nothing wrong with it when you want to actually be part of a conversation instead of trying to shut it down because you dislike it. I agree with some of your suggestions, and disagree with some others. I still don't think I was ever that bad in the first place.
To me, you were being negative most of the time and fighting with everybody over nonsense. I guess like I said to Ender, it’s a shame you weren’t like this before. At least you have lightened up some, though.
40
« on: July 14, 2020, 07:52:16 PM »
I came here recently to tell Cheat to delete my account/permaban me, because of the ugly history this website has which was propagated by you and users like you.
do you honestly think she contributed more to the website's ugly history than you have
is your last post on here going to be a lie
I’ve said plenty of ugly things here that I’m ashamed of and have even apologized for. But yes I’d say users like ender, slash, psy, commander whatever his name was, iron man (?), kinder, brenman94, etc. the list goes on made this site a legitimately hateful website that is more akin to 4chan than bungie. When the protests and riots in Baltimore were occurring, ender and many other people were referring to the protestors as “chimps” and saying they were “chimping out” as well as posting edited images with “Planet of the Apes” being a thread title by that iron man dude. You can check my posts where I railed hard against these posts and called them out for their vile and racist bullshit.
You can check my post history. For every distasteful joke (of which I made plenty) and occasional bigoted comment, I made many more defending equality when things actually got serious. I’ve never been a racist person although I have said racist things out of anger due to altercations I’ve had with people that created that hatred inside me. It’s not an excuse at all, but at least I have never in my life considered myself superior to anyone else due to ethnicity or any other characteristic a person has that is out of their control.
I spent years getting called a sandnigger and a spic by a lot of users on here. Have you? To top it off they’d rarely get banned for it. One of those users (das boot) is actually a good friend of yours, who you have defended vehemently over the years. I can easily find and post screenshots of you defending him on my server claiming it’s all just jokes and his constant pedophile jokes aren’t a cause for concern at all lmao. Who the fuck are you to try and call me out on anything?
In regards to the conduct of users, this site also started almost 6 years ago. Many people here - and their views - have changed.
Jester was only 12 when the site started. I was 17, and I'm 23 now. Plenty of users were edgy and stuff in the past and haven't remained so.
Jester was a crazy kid but he never really did anything malicious to anybody. 17 really isn’t that young dude. It’s not about posting “edgy” shit. This site is a cesspool. I remember the way you guys were and I see how some of you guys talk about current things now.
I didn't cite myself or Jester as examples of malicious people, I was just giving examples of how young some people were.
Okay, 17 year old isn't that young but six years is plenty of time for someone to change. That's the important figure here; this site has existed for almost six whole years.
And you say "you guys" like you weren't an active member of the site for years lol
I wasn’t referring to you specifically either, I’m just using your example of 17. I say “you guys” because it was a lot of people here that were very negative people, and quite a few of them still are.
41
« on: July 14, 2020, 06:43:51 PM »
Venting about life isn't normal to you? Seriously? We've had several meaningful heart-to-hearts about life. I still think about those conversations sometimes. So what if I shoot your advice down? To me, that just leads to a deeper and more invigorating conversation. I tried to be a friend to you so many times, and so many of those times you told me I was full of empty platitudes. Like my life experiences don’t count for anything and I don’t have anything of substance or anything original to say. It's not like I wouldn't have played games with you. We just don't really play a lot of the same games, otherwise I probably would have. It's not like I haven't tried compensating. I've recommended you stuff to read/watch so that we could have something to discuss and relate to. It didn't pan out, but let's not pretend I didn't try. I guess, in your way, you feel like you did try. But it always felt like you wanted to able to argue about something else, or to prove a point. I remember I told you to watch something and you spent like the next 3 days shitting on it on and off in the server hahaha. I was like what the fuck. Just say it isn’t for you and move on. You’d always make things so negative. Although very little of that is my intention, I guess I don't blame you for feeling that way. Well, take this and learn from it so you don’t mess up future (and more important) relationships. I mean, kinda. Yeah. It obviously wasn't enough. I get that you’re full of anger about everything, even more than that I empathize with you. I don’t know man. You’re so hardline about everything. I remember when we all invited you to play that Half Life multiplayer mod and you were like “I don’t play mods”. Hahaha it’s like come on dude, lighten up a little. There were also a lot of times where you’d rarely post, but you’d inject yourself into a conversation just to let everybody know how much you disagree with what’s being discussed. This isn’t just me, a lot of people get this vibe from you and it’s off putting. I’m not trying to insult you or judge you, I’m just saying you should take a look at how you’ve been acting all your life, look at the results, and think about if you want to keep getting those same results.
42
« on: July 14, 2020, 06:24:57 PM »
I came here recently to tell Cheat to delete my account/permaban me, because of the ugly history this website has which was propagated by you and users like you.
do you honestly think she contributed more to the website's ugly history than you have
is your last post on here going to be a lie
I’ve said plenty of ugly things here that I’m ashamed of and have even apologized for. But yes I’d say users like ender, slash, psy, commander whatever his name was, iron man (?), kinder, brenman94, etc. the list goes on made this site a legitimately hateful website that is more akin to 4chan than bungie. When the protests and riots in Baltimore were occurring, ender and many other people were referring to the protestors as “chimps” and saying they were “chimping out” as well as posting edited images with “Planet of the Apes” being a thread title by that iron man dude. You can check my posts where I railed hard against these posts and called them out for their vile and racist bullshit.
You can check my post history. For every distasteful joke (of which I made plenty) and occasional bigoted comment, I made many more defending equality when things actually got serious. I’ve never been a racist person although I have said racist things out of anger due to altercations I’ve had with people that created that hatred inside me. It’s not an excuse at all, but at least I have never in my life considered myself superior to anyone else due to ethnicity or any other characteristic a person has that is out of their control.
I spent years getting called a sandnigger and a spic by a lot of users on here. Have you? To top it off they’d rarely get banned for it. One of those users (das boot) is actually a good friend of yours, who you have defended vehemently over the years. I can easily find and post screenshots of you defending him on my server claiming it’s all just jokes and his constant pedophile jokes aren’t a cause for concern at all lmao. Who the fuck are you to try and call me out on anything?
In regards to the conduct of users, this site also started almost 6 years ago. Many people here - and their views - have changed.
Jester was only 12 when the site started. I was 17, and I'm 23 now. Plenty of users were edgy and stuff in the past and haven't remained so.
Jester was a crazy kid but he never really did anything malicious to anybody. 17 really isn’t that young dude. It’s not about posting “edgy” shit. This site is a cesspool. I remember the way you guys were and I see how some of you guys talk about current things now.
43
« on: July 14, 2020, 06:04:32 PM »
And given that I was right in the end, it's very hard for me to regret that. Now, if I were to come back, knowing how seriously you feel about my past behavior, I'd probably respect that and cut it out for the most part, although I don't see anything wrong with @ing you an article that debunks something you said that I thought was dumb years ago. It's genuinely funny to me, and I also consider it productive, because you're learning something. And yes, when I'm proven right about something, I have an insufferable habit of rubbing it in, and if you honestly hate that so much, I'd be happy to stop it. That’s not being a friend, though. That’s continuing whatever this website is, where we’d all kind of get along but none us ever became friends or a real community. But the problem with me not being sorry about the Midget thing is that I would do it again, and you wouldn't like it. And you don't to like it, I suppose. If you wanna just create the chillest and most conflict-free little gamerbro club possible, where nobody ever has to worry about being called stupid for posting something dumb, that's your prerogative.
But the fact that I don't fit into this mold is not a me problem. Nah, I had a disagreement with Desty about some of the stuff that’s going on right now. We had a discussion about it and nobody insulted each other, at least not to the extent you would. And even if Desty were to call me a fucking retard, I wouldn’t really take it personally because I know he’s a hothead and we actually have a real friendship. You and I have never played a game together, or ever really had a normal discussion. It was usually you venting about your life or life in general, and any advice or opinion of mine you would shoot down and just react in a very bitter way. Right now, I'm only criticizing you for foolish decisions that I think you've made, not calling you an idiot, because I guess I just felt a desire to wrap things up with you now that you're apparently checking yourself out of this website forever.
But if you're talking about back then, it's because I don't consider lightly insulting people to be a big deal. I just don't. It's not like it ever got personal, and if it did, who cares? People fucking fight sometimes. That's life. Even you and Fedorekd have fought heatedly about some serious political shit in there. I've seen it happen. Yeah we have, but the difference is I know he doesn’t actively dislike me. The way you’d act towards me was always extra. You’d always go the extra mile to try and belittle me or make it personal. I would in the past. I try not to anymore because I've learned that friends, especially ones over the Internet, don't typically respond well to negative reinforcement, even though that's the only kind of reinforcement that I know how to do. The problem is that I've never known anyone who doesn't take my abuse to heart, even though I've always wanted to have that kind of friendship where we can just insult each other without having to worry about anyone's feeling getting hurt or anybody taking it too seriously, because we have a mutual understanding that we care for each other and just want to see each other improve. That's my ideal friendship, but I guess it's not something you can force into existence.
I don't have much else to say at this point man. I've aired out my frustrations and it seems like we're not going to change each other's minds on the things we still disagree about, but that's okay. I'm glad I was able to hash it out with you one more time regardless.
Well, it’s like I said. You have to actually create a bond with somebody that becomes strong enough to where you can have that kind of relationship. Can you honestly say you’ve even tried to do that with me, or anyone in my server?
44
« on: July 14, 2020, 04:31:14 PM »
There's a million things I'll change about myself before I change how I behave online towards people like Midget, and that's why I'm not welcome back. No I can understand perfectly why you behaved that way towards midget and I don’t hold it against you. What bothered me is that I asked you so many times to stop and you didn’t. Yeah, and that's your problem, if you'd forgive a racist troll faster than you'd forgive me, just because I call people idiots a lot. Why are you calling me and people who are my friends idiots when we’re not, though? Because we disagree with you on a certain issue? The crazy thing to me is I don’t even really disagree with you on anything, it’s just the way you go about everything that’s a turn off for people. But don't go and think that this is some kind of special instance. There's no amount of time that could pass by where I could forgive or forget any situation where I felt like I was wronged, going back to when I was a little kid. In the first grade, I had a substitute teacher who backed me into a corner during class and scolded me because I got up as soon as the bell rang instead of waiting for her to excuse us. I've held a grudge on this person ever since, even though she's been fucking dead for ten years. It's fucked up, but it's the way I am. This is just one more thing in the pile. I agree with you on this since I’m pretty much the same way. The difference though is I didn’t wrong you, you wronged yourself. No. Not if they had a good reason, and I did. You didn’t. Look, what’s the point of being in a server/group text with people if you don’t consider them your friends? You act like you’re like this with everybody, but you’re not. I’ve never seen you call people on here idiots, who I know are your friends. That’s because friends don’t jump down each other’s throats over disagreements. You admitted yourself you’ve had this issue since you were a kid. I’m not sure what else to tell you, I can’t seem to through to you on this because you don’t want to hear it from me.
45
« on: July 14, 2020, 04:08:12 PM »
I've never supported president Trump but if it's the jokes I make in acting like I do, I will refrain from making such jokes or at least be a bit more obvious that I'm joking. Also I've never wanted to kick people out of the country.
Ian if you ever stop being a trumpublican (which I highly doubt) then yes. That doesn’t mean I’m going to forgive you for wanting people like me out of this country. I’m not an idiot. Forgiveness is for people who change for the better and make amends. if you say so
46
« on: July 14, 2020, 03:59:59 PM »
I sincerely hope you stand by these words 100% completely.
You see, unlike you, I don’t condemn people over something they’ve said or done for the rest of their lives. I’m a forgiving person. Ian if you ever stop being a trumpublican (which I highly doubt) then yes. That doesn’t mean I’m going to forgive you for wanting people like me out of this country. I’m not an idiot. Forgiveness is for people who change for the better and make amends.
47
« on: July 14, 2020, 03:56:51 PM »
This thread is about riots, maybe you should move your discussion to a separate thread or use PMs.
Fuck this thread. These riots don’t need to be justified, this is anger from centuries of oppression.
48
« on: July 14, 2020, 03:47:41 PM »
I can admit that I did enjoy being on your server, and after Midget was finally booted, I did appreciate when you invited me back, because it showed that you still saw me as somebody who could be cool enough to hang around with in spite of everything. It's not often that I get accepted in places, so I tend to take it harder than usual when I'm thrown out of a place where I used to be accepted. It's obvious and worthless to point out, but I probably take a lot of Internet stuff too seriously in that regard.
The reason I didn't come back is not because I'm uninterested in returning, or because I dislike you guys. It's because I knew it would be pointless. You would probably just throw me out for teasing you about your shitty beliefs about veganism again, even though from my perspective, it's all in good fun. It's because you seem to want me to be sorry for what I did, and I'm just not. Fuck Midget. Fuck the idea that you'd let him in for any reason. There's many things I'm prepared to apologize for, and have apologized to you for, but that's not one of them.
It's not that I don't want back in. You don't want me back in, because I haven't changed in the specific way you want me to.
I wouldn’t kick anybody for teasing me about anything. I don’t want you to be sorry about anything, all I asked was if you want to come back you’re welcome to, just don’t insult people. Like I said a bunch of times before it’s like a group text in there, so when somebody starts insulting people and belittling people wouldn’t you exclude them from the group when nobody else engages in that behavior? Come on dude you know you have a problem with this. It’s the reason you’ve been kicked out of other places too. This isn’t new to you. And like I said, midget was legitimately a friend to me for a while. Unfortunately he just couldn’t get rid of that hatred he has inside him. I’m not gonna let you tell me I’m a bad person for giving him a chance, though.
49
« on: July 14, 2020, 03:41:13 PM »
because, as you've shown, you still don't get it
you can talk all you want about how it wasn't the only reason, and that i was always acting out, so it was building up over time, and this was just the final straw
but the fact of the matter is, the final straw for you was the fact that i wasn't going to accept the presence of a complete scumfuck shithead like midget in that server, No, the final straw was that I said you had to stop acting like you were and I gave you 3 final warnings after countless times talking shit to everybody in there. It’s obvious you haven’t changed. who has always been the way he is, and you've never had any reason to believe he's changed—and then of course, after you kicked the wrong person, he went on to prove me exactly right. my hatred of that fuck has never just been about his treatment of me, or his trolling—he's just a trash human being, and i've always known it I had plenty of reason. We had a lot of conversations, he opened up to me about a girl he was in love with a lot of times and asked for my advice and we had a lot of good conversations. You see, unlike you, I don’t condemn people over something they’ve said or done for the rest of their lives. I’m a forgiving person. And he actually never said anything racist to me or anybody else when he was back in there, but I didn’t like the jokes he was making. I asked him to stop, I timed him out, he just couldn’t help himself I guess. So I kicked him. and yet, he deserves to be in the server more than i do, because i don't jerk you off enough
i don't know why i still care either—i just think that's the most hilarious fucking thing ever, and i guess was just wondering if you've caught on to the humor yet. guess not
Nobody jerks anybody off in there lmao. You are simply incapable of being normal when somebody disagrees with you. I’m not judging you for it, I’m not saying you’re worse than anybody else because of it, but it’s a problem you have that you refuse to work on. You don’t find any of this hilarious. It’s painful to you. For you to care this much after all this time, it’s obvious. I’m sorry you feel this way, but this is a result of your own actions.
50
« on: July 14, 2020, 03:10:07 PM »
One point I will make, is that you just being some guy on the internet isn’t true. You always have influence, especially on those that consider you a friend. Them knowing you’re against racism vs you actually calling them out makes a huge difference. Especially when it was against me who you had a well known dislike for. If you (and a lot of other people) would’ve called this behavior out, this website would’ve been very different.
also, just saying, the last time i refused to accept the presence of a racist, i was kicked out of a discord channel
You’re really gonna bring this up again. You just didn’t like him because of the shit he kept saying to you. He wasn’t being racist when I kicked you. When he started posting racist shit and I asked him to stop. He didn’t, so I kicked him. I thought he had changed, but he hadn’t. You can see how quickly he went back to calling me a nigger on here because I didn’t allow him to demean black people in my server. I tried giving him a second chance, it didn’t work out. I kicked you mainly because all you would do is argue with everyone there, and I asked you several times to stop behaving that way. I get disagreeing with people and having strong opinions. But you’d constantly belittle and insult everybody. I said if you’re not like that anymore you’re welcome back, but you didn’t respond. That leads me to believe you’re not interested in being in the server, so I’m not sure why you still care.
51
« on: July 14, 2020, 02:27:59 PM »
You have a "facts are facts" attitude, I have a "jokes are jokes" attitude. Maybe these are two sides of the same coin?
This is all I really wanted to hear, though, so thank you—although I'm in no position to thank you on behalf of those you've hurt, I very much appreciate your honesty and your willingness to reflect on these things.
You also make a good point about silence, and you're absolutely right that I (and many others) could've done a lot more to actively fight against that kind of posting. I only have three things to say in defense of that, and they're all pretty weak, so you can take them or leave them:
1. I didn't like you. That's definitely not a good reason, but it's the most straightforward one. I was younger, pettier, and less mature. I've never approved of anyone using your race against you on any level, but I understand that my silence has also contributed damage when I could've spoken up for you in the interest of doing the right thing. I'm sorry.
2. A lot of racism here is expressed in dogwhistles, and I'm pretty slow on the uptake. Someone could post something extremely fucking racist here five years ago and I probably wouldn't have even known it was supposed to be some kind of callsign for white supremacy. Even if I do see someone post a slur, my brain has sort of been conditioned at this point to take it as a joke—call it an overactive defense mechanism.
Let me reclarify my position on jokes, I guess: I do on some level agree that this type of a thing, posted as a joke, could cause some serious harm in the long run. My defense of jokes has always come from the standpoint of "don't hate the joker—hate the idiots who take the jokes seriously," but your perspective on the matter does make sense to me. If nobody realizes you're joking, and all your joke does is create a rally cry for actual racists, then that's not a joke worth telling. There kind of has to be a well-established or widespread understanding that what you're posting is a joke for it to really function as one.
3. My condemnation of racism has sort of always been an implicit thing by choice, because while I would do anything in my power to eliminate it, I'm ultimately just a guy on the Internet with no authority. This is part of why—believe it or not—I wanted to become a mod here, because it would actually give me the power to get rid of these people. Without that power, if I see someone dropping racial slurs here, there's virtually nothing I can do besides virtue signal—condemn it, despite the fact that everybody already knows that I condemn racism, and if anything, revealing that it upsets me on any level would just encourage even more of it—or so I've been conditioned to believe. It was a meek and defensive and selfish strategy, and while I won't say that I've been entirely nugatory on the matter (I did try to become a mod so I could help enforce the stricter rules that I helped to implement), I have to concede that I could've done more.
So yeah, you're absolutely right about that, and I am sorry for not doing my part to make the forum a bit more enjoyable for you. I could've done a lot more, but between our personal history, my ignorance about racist rhetoric, and my social hang-ups when it comes to openly condemning the universally condemned on the Internet sort of made it difficult for me.
We could go back and forth on minute details, but I don’t really want to argue with you or anyone on here, especially since you’re apologizing for what I called you out on. One point I will make, is that you just being some guy on the internet isn’t true. You always have influence, especially on those that consider you a friend. Them knowing you’re against racism vs you actually calling them out makes a huge difference. Especially when it was against me who you had a well known dislike for. If you (and a lot of other people) would’ve called this behavior out, this website would’ve been very different. Thank you for being so honest, and thank you for your apology. We never really ever fully got along, and I think that’s a shame, but I still hope things work out for you one day.
52
« on: July 14, 2020, 01:05:30 PM »
Well, it's not just whatever racist comments you've made in the past—and if they were jokes, then there's not much reason to care about them, as far as I'm concerned—but you've also spewed a lot of horrible un-joking shit about transpeople, too, which you've never openly expressed any remorse over.
Even if you still find yourself stuck in your ways about that topic, the garbage opinions and misinformation you've spread about trans issues would go on to fuel the flames stoked by other more toxic and less charitable users than yourself, vindicating their bigotry, and making the forum significantly less comfortable for the high volume of trans users that were present in those times, many of whom were still deeply closeted and figuring themselves out. In your laundry list of users who you've labeled as hateful people, how many of them would like all your posts that expressed conservative gender politics? Probably a lot. Probably all the time.
I'm not trying to pin all this stuff on you, or claim that you're responsible for anyone else's actions. I'm not even asking you to apologize about anything you've said about transpeople, because I know you wouldn't anyway. I'm just asking you to acknowledge that hatred has played a bigger part of your legacy here than you've chosen to own up to.
If you don't, then to me, it proves that you're not exactly the most reformed and morally changed individual that you're trying to paint yourself as here—so enlightened and above it all—when you still perhaps have some work to do in certain areas.
Asking questions and having debates is perfectly okay, but the discussions you've taken part about trans rights have contributed nothing positive to the website whatsoever. By the time you discovered more reasonable ways of engaging with these subjects, it was far too late, and sadly, it had a net negative impact on the community in the long run. Should this matter to you? I don't know, but I think it would be big of you to acknowledge it.
No, I agree that I’ve said fucked up things to trans people on here, but only after they called me shit first. Nuka being a great example of this. I remember I told him to stop whining about something related to the site, and as a result him and Nick McIntyre relentlessly called me a sandnigger for various months and never faced any bans over it. Cindy was another one who almost everybody here disliked, for the pretentious behavior he displayed and even worse attitude than you. I remember clearly that I made a post telling him he’ll never become a woman as a joke response to something he was saying, I hadn’t even posted in the thread previously. Is that fucked up to say? To me, at that time, after Cindy (and Luciana who was a mod at the time) liked several posts written by Das where he said it’s in my DNA to be “ignorant” about these topics because of my ethnicity, no. I felt like I was simply reciprocating the hate that was being spewed at me which NOBODY on this site ever tried to stop. Be they a mod or just another member of the community who could’ve at least said “hey dude I don’t agree with him either but that’s not cool”. Especially when at the beginning I was being very respectful when it came to discussions on trans issues. That said, I still believe transitioning does a significant amount of harm to people and many are not happy with the results and STILL commit suicide. My point was always that there must be a better way for trans people to exist. That was ALWAYS my main point, and it quickly turned into every trans user on here thinking I hated them. And apart from that I have apologized for (some) of the things I said. I won’t apologize for talking about the suicide rates among post transition trans people because those are facts, whether people like them or not. Jokes will always be jokes to me, and I don't think it really matters what the current social climate is. It's one of those things I'll probably never budge on.
That said, a big part of my defending of Das does come from a vague sense of loyalty I have towards those who I consider friends/friendly (which you can say is one of my weaknesses), and also from the idea that I don't want to believe he's really like that offline. I don't believe I've ever said his sense of humor wasn't "cause for concern." If I have, then that was foolish of me to say, and I take it back. What I would say instead is that, as someone who's actually spoken with him, I'm in a better position than you to say that he's not actually a complete degenerate, and over the past year or so he's made some noticeable strides to be a lot less edgy about shit. You haven't been around, so you wouldn't know.
He's a pervert, but the reason I like him in spite of that is because he's honest about it, and he's never really made much of an effort to defend himself. His humor, while gross, is often very self-depreciative and unpretentious in a way that makes it very clear to me that he's not asking you to like him, which I find inherently respectable. He also doesn't dislike me, and has never once given me shit about fucking anything, which I cannot say the same for legitimately anyone else here, at all. As a result, I like the guy. Sue me.
That said, I've never encouraged his humor. I don't even like it, and wish he never developed it, because he was a lot more "normal" on Bnet. I just don't think he's ever really crossed the line, or given me any reason to believe that he's a genuinely bad guy. It's okay if you disagree, though. I understand why you feel the way you do, and it's perfectly rational. I just see the guy differently.
What I'm calling you out over is the horrible stuff you've posted that wasn't in jest. I consider that very different.
Jokes are not always jokes. The jokes you make reveal underlying traits of a person. There’s a reason I said I’m ashamed of some of the jokes I’ve made on here, elsewhere, and in real life. Jokes can stem from hatred and anger. That said, while you never personally called me a racial slur on here despite the countless arguments we’ve had, you never called out anybody for being racist towards me because of your dislike of me. Your silence (and the silence of many others on here) allowed that type of behavior to become the norm on here. Part of that is because (in your specific case) you didn’t want these people to start “giving you shit about anything”. Did I make distasteful jokes about trans people? Sure, and I have apologized for them to (certain) trans users, such as Nuka who has also apologized for vile and racist shit he said to me. Did I ever act like the racist scumbags on this website and just use slurs in discussions and act like I was superior to trans people? Never. I would discuss the issue respectfully and present my points against transitioning. It was in fact, quite the contrary. Whenever I would present links to the suicide rates post transitioning I would be personally and racially attacked (on the Serious board of all places when it actually had moderation) and none of these people would ever get banned. The only person I can think of who would get consistently banned for calling me slurs was Kinder, and that was because everybody disliked him. So like I said, who are you to call me out on anything? You don’t even have the right to call Ender out on her past behavior the way I see it, because you DIDN’T call her or anyone else out on their behavior when it mattered and when it was doing real damage.
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« on: July 14, 2020, 03:28:24 AM »
I came here recently to tell Cheat to delete my account/permaban me, because of the ugly history this website has which was propagated by you and users like you.
do you honestly think she contributed more to the website's ugly history than you have
is your last post on here going to be a lie
I’ve said plenty of ugly things here that I’m ashamed of and have even apologized for. But yes I’d say users like ender, slash, psy, commander whatever his name was, iron man (?), kinder, brenman94, etc. the list goes on made this site a legitimately hateful website that is more akin to 4chan than bungie. When the protests and riots in Baltimore were occurring, ender and many other people were referring to the protestors as “chimps” and saying they were “chimping out” as well as posting edited images with “Planet of the Apes” being a thread title by that iron man dude. You can check my posts where I railed hard against these posts and called them out for their vile and racist bullshit. You can check my post history. For every distasteful joke (of which I made plenty) and occasional bigoted comment, I made many more defending equality when things actually got serious. I’ve never been a racist person although I have said racist things out of anger due to altercations I’ve had with people that created that hatred inside me. It’s not an excuse at all, but at least I have never in my life considered myself superior to anyone else due to ethnicity or any other characteristic a person has that is out of their control. I spent years getting called a sandnigger and a spic by a lot of users on here. Have you? To top it off they’d rarely get banned for it. One of those users (das boot) is actually a good friend of yours, who you have defended vehemently over the years. I can easily find and post screenshots of you defending him on my server claiming it’s all just jokes and his constant pedophile jokes aren’t a cause for concern at all lmao. Who the fuck are you to try and call me out on anything?
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« on: July 14, 2020, 12:43:14 AM »
Also I honestly think leaving this site helped me a lot with that, I got into more positive circles and less harmful ones all around.
I’m glad you’re doing better and not associating with the lame ass people you were before. I wish you nothing but the best. Thank you for showing everybody that it’s never too late to change.
Cheers man, I hope you are/will take care of yourself too.
It's funny, because I used to think "why do people on here hate me?" But honestly looking back on it I can totally fucking understand completely. Very sorry for the things I've done and how I acted, to say the least.
Thanks, I’ve been doing good. And don’t worry about it. With all this stuff that’s happened recently, people have been showing their true colors. You see these videos every day of people being vile and racist, politicians and people in places of power exposing just how bad they really are. It’s been a while I came home, and I really started to rethink everything, all those years I struggled to get back. For what? It didn’t feel like the America I remembered. I was always someone who throughout everything that’s happened, respected the flag and didn’t like when people burned it or flipped it upside down. A few days ago I started to think, what’s the difference? I’ll never be an American to these people. This flag doesn’t stand for anything anymore, and no matter how much I respect it, around half the country will never give me that respect back. I came here recently to tell Cheat to delete my account/permaban me, because of the ugly history this website has which was propagated by you and users like you. I didn’t want to be associated with this place anymore. Then I saw your post, and it was like after those 5 years of posting hate, you made up for all of it. That’s why I said thank you. To see that you changed, you have no idea the way it impacted me, and the hope it gave me that maybe we can all move past this together. I know this is long and maybe it’s a little too sentimental, but it’s how I feel. What you say on the internet does affect people, no matter how anonymous you think you are. Thank you Ender.
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« on: July 13, 2020, 10:38:41 PM »
Also I honestly think leaving this site helped me a lot with that, I got into more positive circles and less harmful ones all around.
I’m glad you’re doing better and not associating with the lame ass people you were before. I wish you nothing but the best. Thank you for showing everybody that it’s never too late to change.
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« on: July 13, 2020, 04:27:32 PM »
Was on mobile and didn’t see it. I’ll respond soon. Apparently I’ve missed several others too.
ok thanks
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« on: July 13, 2020, 12:25:12 PM »
He doesn't like you.
I wouldn’t wanna fight me neither
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« on: July 13, 2020, 11:58:59 AM »
It’s unbecoming
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« on: July 12, 2020, 03:25:19 AM »
Been to as many of the local protests as I can (have 70-80 hour work weeks, so that gets hard at times), and I've seen plenty of both fucked up shit and perfect shit. I got shot at a few times with those wooden baton rounds, and have seen a medic bleeding out after getting one to the head while helping someone. I've also seen peaceful protests where we've just marched, and not much else, most fo the more violent-y ones have started this way, but then some pig dude pulls some shit, and things go haywire.
Just want to say fuck cops, fuck cop supporters, fuck racists, and fuck these feddy boys through and through.
why couldn’t all of you been like this before
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« on: June 29, 2020, 12:27:54 AM »
“Hola Principal Snickers” dice El Bart
“Bart vas a estar en una gran problema si seguís llamándome eso” dice El Principal Skinner
“Principal Snick-“ dice El Bart
“HIJO DE LA GRAN PUTA” dice Skinner dandole una bofetada al Bart
i recently learned the joke behind sneed's feed and feed (formerly chuck's) the other day
don’t tell me you go to 4chan now
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