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Messages - Lemy the Lizerd
Pages: 1 ... 535455 5657 ... 67
1621
« on: November 14, 2014, 11:27:49 AM »
OFFICIAL COD TIERS LIST
TOP TIER:
MODERN WARFARE
MW2
BLACK OPS
OKAY TIER:
BLACK OPS 2
SHIT TIER:
MW3
GHOSTS
LOL DIDNT PLAY TIER:
the rest
1622
« on: November 14, 2014, 11:23:41 AM »
Lemy
1623
« on: November 14, 2014, 11:23:25 AM »
>they still haven't realized Halo is a shit game
1624
« on: November 14, 2014, 08:45:00 AM »
You did the right thing
1625
« on: November 14, 2014, 08:36:26 AM »
1626
« on: November 14, 2014, 07:59:09 AM »
Sweater time bitch
1627
« on: November 13, 2014, 09:45:20 PM »
>using gas airsoft guns
>in the cold
Triggered
CO2 isn't affected by cold. Green gas is. Get your facts straight, mister.
>using CO2 over Green Gas
Looks like we've got a polluter on our hands.
What airshit do you have? Most of mine is gone save a G36K AEG and a KWA HK45
I made a thread about this a while ago. I can go over my whole list again.
Vintovka:
-Shitty P90 AEG
-King Arms M4 (I hate M4s. I don't even know why I have one)
-CYMA M14 (previous owner painted it green)
-Echo 1 RPK
Pistolet (all CO2):
-Elite Force 1911
-WG .357
-Desert Eagle (so ridiculous)
-Generic Glock clone pistol (since Glock stopped everyone from making actual Glocks)
>tfw there will never be a quality, affordable airshit P90, only expensive Classic Army that's never in stock, and shitty chinese junk ;_;
1628
« on: November 13, 2014, 09:35:18 PM »
>using gas airsoft guns
>in the cold
Triggered
CO2 isn't affected by cold. Green gas is. Get your facts straight, mister.
>using CO2 over Green Gas Looks like we've got a polluter on our hands. What airshit do you have? Most of mine is gone save a G36K AEG and a KWA HK45
1629
« on: November 13, 2014, 09:23:43 PM »
>using gas airsoft guns
>in the cold
Triggered
1630
« on: November 13, 2014, 09:18:58 PM »
>Defacing ancient cave art
I sure hope this stupid fuck didn't deface Acadia. I was planning on going there later this year...
I was just in Acadia this August. That has got to be the most beautiful place in this country, if not the world.
1631
« on: November 13, 2014, 08:37:43 PM »
FUCK YOU FUCKING MAPLENIGGER
ID FUCKING KILL PEOPLE FOR SOME FUCKING SNOW
YOU MOTHERFUCKERS WILL NEVER KNOW THE SUFFERING I GO THROUGH EVERY WINTER IN THE SANDHILLS
IT GETS COLD AS SHIT BUT WE ONLY GET MAYBE A FEW DAYS OF SNOW IF WE'RE REAL FUCKING LUCKY
SUCK MY BALLS YOU UNGRATEFUL FUCKING FAGGOTS
1632
« on: November 13, 2014, 02:50:06 PM »
>>>/Facebook/
1633
« on: November 13, 2014, 01:55:37 PM »
My bad mang
1634
« on: November 13, 2014, 01:49:04 PM »
> friend tells me his mom made him some nachos earlier
> I want some fucking nachos
> phone up my mum in the next room and just scream until she comes into my room and asks what's wrong
> "I want nachos now"
> she moans that it's 3am and she has to be up early for work
> tell her if she doesn't make me nachos I'm going to tell social services that she abused me
> start to dial social services number on my phone as I know it off the top of my head by now
> she starts crying and goes downstairs and makes me the nachos
> by the time she gets back I'm in bed asleep
nachos suck anyway
1635
« on: November 13, 2014, 01:44:29 PM »
>I really don't want to be there, I'd rather be playing LoL
>Through out the play criticize the acting and set design that these 4th graders made
>I make very smart and well thought out jokes about the play
>Nobody seems to get my joke
>Start repeating them louder hoping they'll get it
>The parents starts booing and the teachers are giving me evil glares
>Why cant they see how bad the play is?
>I try to calm them down, telling them that I know what I'm talking about cause I post reviews on /tv/ all the time
>The school principle tells me to get out
>"Fine" I say
>"HAVE FUN WITH THIS PLEBIAN GARBAGE" I yell to the crowd
>Get my mom's car keys to the minivan and go outside
I'm sitting in the passengers side right now, posting from my ds on the school wifi. If my parents try to move me to the back seat I'll lock the doors. See how they like it in the back. Fucking cunts
1636
« on: November 13, 2014, 01:39:47 PM »
>Forget to tell me that a bunch of alcoholic pedophiles are going to be in my house
>Come downstairs to have my mom fix me chicken nuggets
>There's a whole roasted pig on the table and these assholes are using my forks and Star Wars cups to drink poison out of
>Scream at the top of my lungs that they need to fucking stop, those glasses arent meant to be drunk out of
>Some old asshole who hired my dad kinda smirks and asks me how I've been
>Knock his plate out of his hand and spit in his drink
>Dad tells me to cut it out and I need to run to the liquor store and buy some more beer
>Ive got it right here for you dad!
>Pull down my pajamas and start pissing in the punch bowl
>Piss all over the gross pig and in the potato salad
>Moms whore friend grabs my arm and tells me to stop
>turn around and spray diarrhea all over her stupid wedding dress costume thing
>Everyone gags and starts leaving
>Mom helping her friend
>Make me my nuggets mom! Fucking do it now!
>She starts to cry and opens the freezer while my dad starts pulling up his resume
Thats what you get for coming to my house on nugget night. And EVERY NIGHT is nugget night.
1637
« on: November 13, 2014, 01:28:55 PM »
>Go down stairs for dinner
>Nobody is in the kitchen
>Wtf
>Go to my parents room and pound on the door
>"WHERE THE HELL IS DINDIN?!!"
>Mom tells me to go away cause it's their anniversary
>Open door and start yelling."DINDIN NOW DINDIN NOW!" as I march around the room
>They are both naked under the cover
>They were obviously have sex because they are sick freaks
>"How could you ever love a disgusting 3DPD?" I say to my dad
>He gets mad and lunges at me
>Barrel roll to the side hitting the door
>I dodged his attack and kick him as hard as I can in the nuts
>Mom is crying in the corners covered in the blanket
>"This is what happens when when I dont get my Dindin" I tell her
>Go downstairs
>Sit at the dinner table and patiently wait for mom and dad to come down so we can have our Dindin
1638
« on: November 13, 2014, 01:26:16 PM »
>Parents don't get me anything for my 20th birthday
>Get mad and steal her game
>She starts crying and tells mom and dad
>I start yelling and tell them to buy me more stuff like they do her
>Dad says I need to get a job or go to school
>Then tells me, he's disappointed in me
>Idgaf
>Turn to my mom tell her to go fuck herself cuz she's a worthless whore that does nothing for the family
>they tell me gtfo out of the house
>I run into my room and lock the door
>Start playing Minecraft on full volume with my shitty $500 studio monitors they got me a month ago so they can hear it
Fucking hate my parents and little sister.
1639
« on: November 13, 2014, 01:24:03 PM »
>Bitch mom has to clean it up
1640
« on: November 13, 2014, 12:39:15 PM »
Uhh, you know the Norks weren't allied with the Ruskies, right?
They were on the Chinese side of the Sino-Soviet split.
1642
« on: November 13, 2014, 11:50:35 AM »
OFFICIAL BOND TIER LIST
TOP TIER:
BROSNAN
CONNEREY
CRAIG
GOOD TIER:
MOORE
LAZENBY
SHIT TIER:
DALTON
1643
« on: November 13, 2014, 11:37:16 AM »
>decide to visit the Queen's Commonwealth of the USA one year
>touch down in the evening, jetlagged, long nap, wake up midday
>go outside, unbelievably bright, from some kind of white orb in the sky I've never seen before
>jogging around the neighbourhood
>ahead of me, coming my way, is an obese man on a scooter walking an obese labrador on a smaller scooter
>they take up the entire footway and don't even try to slow down or get around me
>can't jump down the kerb because the cars are so wide they take up the whole street
>at the last second I duck into a restaurant to get out of the way
>am immediately seated and given the largest menu i've ever seen, every item on the menu is thousands of calories and would fill 3 human stomachs
>tentatively try and ask for a beef wellington ensemble with cheese
>waitress looks at me oddly
>comes back with a living raccoon on a platter
>"enjoy your meal"
>do my best to finish my plate
>check my wristben, it just turned 3 bong
>look around frantically
>no one counting
>everyone just eating and talking
>remember my bong preparedness training from grammar school, stand up on the table, one arm pointing up and the other pointing to my left
>at the top of my lungs, "BONG, BONG, BONG"
>everyone quiet
>everyone staring
>then, slowly, tentative clapping
>it swells into full blown applause, people cheering, yelling, slapping me on the back
>a fellow cav stands up, looking confused. "Oi, why're you bloody gits clapping? 'E can't 'ear you!"
>someone screams "A REDCOAT!"
>everyone pulling out guns, firing at the brit, yelling things like "Die commie!" and "Remember the Alamo"
>run out with my arms above my head in the confusion
1644
« on: November 13, 2014, 11:35:40 AM »
At least Slavrunes kind of resemble real letters
1645
« on: November 13, 2014, 11:34:39 AM »
uhhhh
Gods not real
1646
« on: November 13, 2014, 11:16:35 AM »
What does this even mean lel
You are a: Right-Leaning Anarchist Total-Isolationist Bleeding-Heart Libertine
Collectivism score: -33%
Authoritarianism score: -83%
Internationalism score: -83%
Tribalism score: -100%
Liberalism score: 83%
1647
« on: November 13, 2014, 09:03:00 AM »
>decide to take a vacation in England
>land in London
>it's completely dark
>and there's water coming from the sky
>ask a passerby what it is
>he tells me he can't understand my accent
>in response to this insult, I shoot him with my revolver, as is our custom
>I decide to go pick up my horse rental, wet stuff or no
>arrive at the stable
>there are no horses
>man brings out some sort of iron contraption, belching smoke
>realizing the man to be a horse thief, I shoot him with my shotgun, as is our custom
>stomach rumbles
>decide to walk the short distance to Edinburgh for lunch
>walk into a local restaurant, order a steak
>it arrives deep fried and over done
>demand to see the chef and complain about my meal
>YOO WOT U YANKEE GIT
>I shoot him with my rifle, as is our custom
>police are called to arrest me
>I shoot them with my gatling, as is our custom
>they finally get within tazer distance
>I get brought before a judge
>complain about the infringement of my minority rights as a Texan
>Judge orders the police to let me go immediately and awards me a medal for defending myself against majority oppression
>a parade is thrown in my honor
>I meet the Queen
>You Yanks are alright, she says
>I shoot her
Britain was a lovely state to visit if a mite dark, I tell you hwhat
1648
« on: November 13, 2014, 08:20:55 AM »
>on flight to Middle East
>step off plane
>"DURKA DURKA MOHAMED JIHAD!!"
>grab my rifle and start killing arabs
>97 kill count
>bus bombs going off all over the place
>Brit GI comes up screaming "OY U NEED TO GEYDOWN!"
>jump to cover as machete wielding jihadist chops off GIs head.
>BONG, BONG, BONG!
>London...shit. I'm still only in London.
>get on my connecting flight and fly the rest of the way to middle east.
1649
« on: November 13, 2014, 08:10:31 AM »
>vacation in England
>step out of the airplane, smell the beautiful, clean air
>overhear two british men talking
>"There's nothing like putting the butt of a fag in your mouth and inhaling deeply"
>get back on the plane
>go back to America
1650
« on: November 13, 2014, 08:06:03 AM »
Never going to happen ever
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