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Messages - Lemy the Lizerd

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1411
The Flood / Re: can I get a translation please
« on: November 20, 2014, 06:20:16 PM »
>running .exe's from torrents

holy shit, i knew you were stupid, door, but not this dumb
explain
you're willingly infecting your machine
it has like 70 seeders and 40 leechers
Poor Raulina had like 70 seeders after she was coerced into the porn industry to support her little brother who shines the shoes of the executive of the company who wrote the code for the ISO you've illegally downloaded.

How do you feel now, asshole?
the fuckk is an iso

is it like isis
Why are you this fucking new?
cuz im not a gay anime neet hacker lol
Ugh... fine, unles I understand it wrong, an ISO file is the content of a disc thrown into an image file. You mount this file into some kind of software to read it and then it functions as if you had a CD-rom right in your disc drive.
It's how us weebs pirate all our porn games.
where do i get this elusive software

1412
The Flood / Re: can I get a translation please
« on: November 20, 2014, 06:15:12 PM »
Quote
2.Instalar Setup.Exe.

>running .exe's from torrents

holy shit, i knew you were stupid, door, but not this dumb
explain
you're willingly infecting your machine
it has like 70 seeders and 40 leechers

Quote
is an iso

Door

This is

This is concerning
explain

1413
The Flood / Re: Recommend me an anime and/or a manga.
« on: November 20, 2014, 06:14:46 PM »
Bleach

1414
The Flood / Re: can I get a translation please
« on: November 20, 2014, 06:13:15 PM »
>running .exe's from torrents

holy shit, i knew you were stupid, door, but not this dumb
explain
you're willingly infecting your machine
it has like 70 seeders and 40 leechers
Poor Raulina had like 70 seeders after she was coerced into the porn industry to support her little brother who shines the shoes of the executive of the company who wrote the code for the ISO you've illegally downloaded.

How do you feel now, asshole?
the fuckk is an iso

is it like isis
Why are you this fucking new?
cuz im not a gay anime neet hacker lol
um, yes you are
lets make a deal

if you stop acting like such a tremendous faggot

ill tell you what it's like to get your dick sucked

1415
The Flood / Re: can I get a translation please
« on: November 20, 2014, 06:11:20 PM »
>running .exe's from torrents

holy shit, i knew you were stupid, door, but not this dumb
explain
you're willingly infecting your machine
it has like 70 seeders and 40 leechers
Poor Raulina had like 70 seeders after she was coerced into the porn industry to support her little brother who shines the shoes of the executive of the company who wrote the code for the ISO you've illegally downloaded.

How do you feel now, asshole?
the fuckk is an iso

is it like isis
Why are you this fucking new?
cuz im not a gay anime neet hacker lol

1416
The Flood / Re: can I get a translation please
« on: November 20, 2014, 06:08:38 PM »
>running .exe's from torrents

holy shit, i knew you were stupid, door, but not this dumb
explain
you're willingly infecting your machine
it has like 70 seeders and 40 leechers
Poor Raulina had like 70 seeders after she was coerced into the porn industry to support her little brother who shines the shoes of the executive of the company who wrote the code for the ISO you've illegally downloaded.

How do you feel now, asshole?
the fuckk is an iso

is it like isis

1417
The Flood / is this torrent safe
« on: November 20, 2014, 06:06:41 PM »


i dont speak brown person

1418
The Flood / Re: can I get a translation please
« on: November 20, 2014, 06:04:27 PM »
>running .exe's from torrents

holy shit, i knew you were stupid, door, but not this dumb
explain
you're willingly infecting your machine
it has like 70 seeders and 40 leechers

1419
The Flood / Re: can I get a translation please
« on: November 20, 2014, 06:02:13 PM »
>running .exe's from torrents

holy shit, i knew you were stupid, door, but not this dumb
explain

1420
The Flood / Re: can I get a translation please
« on: November 20, 2014, 06:01:52 PM »
Trying to run some Brazilian h-games, huh Door? Didn't think you were in to that...
do they even have computers in brazil?
Sure, how else do you think they make high quality porn featuring the poor homeless kids that were left to fend for themselves after the world cup took everything they ever kew and loved from them?
stop tryna make me feel mang i jus wanna smoke weed and get killstreaks

1421
The Flood / Re: Seriously, how much does Santa weigh?
« on: November 20, 2014, 06:00:12 PM »
Bout tree fiddy

1422
The Flood / Re: can I get a translation please
« on: November 20, 2014, 05:59:16 PM »
Trying to run some Brazilian h-games, huh Door? Didn't think you were in to that...
do they even have computers in brazil?

1423
Serious / Re: AMA about my opinions/beliefs
« on: November 20, 2014, 05:57:59 PM »
How do you feel about the blatant Mod Bias on this website?
i feel like you should stay on your main, Max

1424
The Flood / Re: can I get a translation please
« on: November 20, 2014, 05:52:31 PM »
This is Portuguese.
so like spanish but gayer

1425
Gaming / Re: >feel like playing Black Ops again
« on: November 20, 2014, 05:29:36 PM »
What is your main gaming system?
don't really have a main one anymore.

I play on PC mostly now but it's a weakass laptop.

1426
Gaming / Re: >feel like playing Black Ops again
« on: November 20, 2014, 05:29:01 PM »
>Not owning an Xbox One
>Wanting to play CoD
>Playing on a pissy

Top lel
>owning a DRM box
>not liking cheesy anachronistic cold war stories
>being a consolepleb

1427
Gaming / Re: >feel like playing Black Ops again
« on: November 20, 2014, 05:28:03 PM »
>not playing Black Ops 2

Fucking Faggot
black ops 2 would be good if it was only set in the 70s and 80s

The future segments are fucking dumb
You forgot to change to Door, FAGGOT
probably cuz im not door

1428
Gaming / Re: >feel like playing Black Ops again
« on: November 20, 2014, 05:26:31 PM »
>not playing Black Ops 2

Fucking Faggot
black ops 2 would be good if it was only set in the 70s and 80s

The future segments are fucking dumb

1430
Serious / Re: 3 wounded in shooting at FSU
« on: November 20, 2014, 03:01:34 PM »
NSFW - Dead guy, not graphic

Pic of the main suspect

it's a black guy so

Inb4 coverage stops

1431
The Flood / Re: How do you pronounce "pint of ale"
« on: November 20, 2014, 02:51:26 PM »
American pronunciation:
"Pint of ale"

British pronunciation:
"POIN' O' AYYYLL"

1432
Serious / Re: Sexual Assaults on US College Campuses.
« on: November 20, 2014, 02:49:13 PM »
Inb4 muh brotherhood

Inb4 muh greek life

Inb4 you wouldnt understand

1433
Serious / Re: Sexual Assaults on US College Campuses.
« on: November 20, 2014, 02:48:34 PM »
Best form of rape prevention right here. I'd make sure if I ever have a daughter, she'd get one before going off to college

you can't carry on most campuses

1434
Serious / Re: 3 wounded in shooting at FSU
« on: November 20, 2014, 02:28:37 PM »
politicians,
They have these things called "bodyguards" to do it for them

1435
The Flood / Re: >tfw no bf
« on: November 20, 2014, 02:20:49 PM »
Mfw rc is really a grill


1436
The Flood / Why are black cops so cool all the time
« on: November 20, 2014, 02:18:14 PM »
Like every time I meet a white cop it's like a spectrum from thug to good guy, but black cops in my experience are like almost always bro tier.

Last year there was this time I was up at 3am in a thunderstorm chugging energy drinks and I got real paranoid. I heard this banging on the side of my house and I thought some tweaker from the trailer park on the other side of the woods was trying to steal my copper wire, so I stepped outside with a replica Orcrist sword from the Hobbit  and I was like "if you don't fuck off I'm gonna chop your faggot arms off!" While waving the sword around. I went back inside and it didnt stop so I called the cops. 20 minutes later a black cop shows up and looks around and he says it turns out this potted plant hanging on my neighbor's house was banging on his wall and the wind made the sound carry over to me. I apologized and he was like "nah it's cool I'm just glad no crime was committed, before I came here I had to chase a guy and pull him out from under a trailer".

Why are black cops so cool?

1437
Serious / Re: 3 wounded in shooting at FSU
« on: November 20, 2014, 02:06:00 PM »
>be me
>see headlines
>"oh fuck yeah, finally something interesting happening in Fayetteville!"
>open article
>Florida State University
>not Fayetteville State University

fuck this gay earth

1438
Serious / Re: One thing I can't stand in California.
« on: November 20, 2014, 08:53:04 AM »
I say anybody that breaks into your home or in your car should be shot with no charges pressed against you.
Strongly disagreed. This should only apply to cases where apparent danger exists to you and/or other persons.
is rape not an apparent danger?

1439
The Flood / The Story Of How I Lost My Virginity
« on: November 19, 2014, 06:30:56 PM »
>be me 16yo dumb teen in highschool
>like every other dick with too much time, i do weird stuff at school
>smoking and shit, breaking stuff, picking locks and exploring prohibited areas

yeah you can pick locks if you practice enough. not too hard to do, especially with old, worn

out locks.

>anyway, there was this attic/multi purpose room with a padlock.
>dumb teachers use padlock on closed hooks.
>hooks are attached to the wall and the door with screws. lol.
>no need to pick the lock, i simply used my small screwdriver.

i always carry a screwdriver with me. i like unscrewing things. so what

>i started going there at lunch time
>grab a bite to eat, go be by myself, smoke some cigarettes. nobody to bother me.
>the room was mostly filled with junk.
>old computers, desks, lamps, broken chairs, props from school plays and shit
>and this big ass worn out red couch
>after im done, i screw the hooks back, so nobody finds out and does a better job at locking

the place
>one day, as i'm sitting around doing nothing, this girl comes along
>ffs, this was my spot
>she's from the same grade, but not the same class
>seen her a couple of times, never talked, 7/10 imho
>what are you doing here Lemy?
>nothing, smoking and shit i guess...
>well.. ok.

>she looks around, explores, not interested in me.
>sometimes mumbles shit like "ooh how interesting...", "oh look at that"
>yeah well it's a nice spot..
>how did you get in here anon?
>ohshit.jpeg
>the door was open, i said why not
>oh ok then
>cue noises, giggles and shit
>we look at each other worried, someone else is coming
>im sitting still feeling like a hipster with his favorite spot going mainstream
>she panics and starts looking around for a place to hide
>im sitting on the floor, behind the couch so i can see the door
>but no one can see me
>suddenly i see this senior couple walking in
>tongues down each others throats, horny as fuck
>ohfuckfuckfuck
>i crawl towards the girl, she found a place behind dumped desks
>thinking why the fuck am i hiding? is the senior guy suddenly going to decide to fuck me
>instead of his slut gf?
>they dont notice us.
>the guy throws his gf to the couch
>fuckyeahfuckyeahfuckyeah
>the other girl covering her mouth not to scream
>it wasnt weird its just you dont get to watch people fucking right in front of you everyday
>we got the perfect spot behind desks, in the dark
>i mean there must be like 50 desks all tangled up and shit, its like a 5yo's pillow fortress
>behind all that metal and wood, we got this perfect vantage point
>i can see the red couch and the couple
>she's lying there all fuckmenow mode on
>instant boner
>the guy is this jock type asshole. feeling her up, trying to say nasty stuff
>saying funny shit like "oh yeah now you're mine"
>probably watches more cheesy porn flicks than i do
>my boner is becomming more sad by the second
>cmoncmoncmoncmoooonnn get to the fucking good stuff
>random girl next to me still covering her mouth
>dont care what she does, hope that she wont make a noise and ruin everything
>jock dick starts undressing his gf
>unbuttons her shirt
>cue TITS
>omg those perky white tits with pink nipples
>i just sighed so loud i thought it was all over
>lucky us, they cant hear for shit
>starts going ape shit on her, doing all the tricks like an imbecile
>shes giggling and saying slutty things like stop dont lol
>starts sucking her, feeling up her but, trying to get the panties off
>i cant tell if the slut enjoys it or not
>i figure she must be like oh this is getting serious now
>stops him cold by pushing him
>allow me
>grabs him by the belt
>he's grinning like a retard i know what's coming and he does too
>unzips him
>start sucking like a vacuum machine
>slurping.wav
>licking.wav
>moaning.wav
>he has this OMFG face. i cant tell if this is horny of funny as fuck
>meanwhile the girl next to me is all red
>its like red you have never seen before
>like a tanning salon trip gone bad red
>i whisper u ok?
>she just looks at me and blinks her eyes
>ohshit she looks amazing
>im looking at her as the blowjob goes on in the background
>only thing hiding our heavy breathing is the slurping noises
>she looks at me again
>ohfuckfuckfuck i must have been staring at her like a psycho
>i quickly turn my head to the show
>jocks gf stops sucking him and slowly gets up
>oh new scene coming up, saved by the bell i guess...
>she puts in his dick from under her skirt
>i can hear the guy exhaling with pleasure
>the bitch is more experienced than i previously thought
>certainly more experienced than the meathead shes fucking
>she starts moving up and down
>idiot jock starts making pornstar noises like "oh yeah" and shit
>she shushes him
>someones gonna hear us, keep it low
>but at the same time shes enjoying it
>quietly moaning herself
>suddenly the girl next to me leans to my ear.
>i was so into the show, i almost jump
>i look at her like wtf?
>she whipers, i gotta change position my legs are going numb
>im like r u fucking kidding me...
>but i notice shes sitting on her legs
>i try to scooch back
>i cant touch the desks and shit, it like a hulking mess of junk
>if i touch anything, best case i will make a lot of sound
>worst case our desk fortress come crashing down on top of us
>she moves her ass to my side, trying to stretch her legs
>we are no longer side by side
>im sitting behind her, looking at the action over her shoulder
>its getting really cramped up in here so i stretch my legs to her sides
>we're not touching each other, but we're really really close.
>meathead decides to change position
>picks her up, swings her and pins her to the couch
>missionary... seriously?
>all we can see is his ugly ass buttcrack
>the sounds keep it interesting tho
>screeching old couch and a lot off muted moans
>just as i start losing my boner i notice the random girls legs
>its a cramped space (did i tell you?) so she cant stretch her legs that far
>her knees are bent, so her skirt falls back a little, revealing her thighs.
>they look fucking amazing.
>i mean, im a leg and butt guy.
>and they are AMAZING
>she's still uncomfortable tho, trying to find a better spot to put her ass on
>suddenly thinking, please be it my lap oh pleaseee
>but its all cold hard concrete floor
>anyway, she ends up touching my thigh.
>reset:boner
>i try to get closer to her
>she turns her head, looks at me
>i whisper, i cant see shit
>she's still red as and apple
>meathead changes positions again
>oh yeah, doggystyle is next
>he starts moaning like an ape again
>she's trying to shush him
>meanwhile i can hear the random girl's breathing
>she's breathing to the beat of the sex scene right in front of us
>she's almost hyperventilating
>the scene gets better and better
>now they are really into it
>everynowandthen the slut looks back and bites her lips or does some similar ridiculous shit
>oh now she's a porn star too... works for me!
>sudden hand on thigh!
>ohshitohshit is this happening?
>when did she get this close?
>her hair is practically right in my face
>smells gorgeous
>i finally gather myself and decide to try and make a move
>maybe start by accidentaly touching her?
>after all its a small space
>heart starts beating faster and faster
>i hang my right hand from my right leg
>my fingertips are touching her bare leg.
>nothing happens...
>lets try the left hand
>i say fuck it lets go all in and put my left hand on her left hand, which is on my left leg
>she leans on to my right hand
>jack-fucking-pot!
>i stop beating around the bush and start caressing her thigh, gently
>and i mean really GENTLY
>like is this real or am i about to get busted so i should do this gently, GENTLY.
>she leans back a little more
>now my chin is over her shoulder
>my boner is getting so large, i can almost touch her spine with my tip
>i grab her left hand, signalling that im going for it
>she grabs back, tightly
>fuckyeahherewego.jpg
>i slide my right hand to her inner thigh
>slowly making my way down
>carefully pushing back the skirt on the way
>meanwhile, she leans back even more
>our faces are touching each other
>both of us are unable to look at each other
>too affraid of ruining the moment
>its way too surreal, lets not turn it into a confrontation i say
>my right hand comes to a halt
>i went as far as i could
>i can feel her warmth on my fingertips
>im touching her panties
>her white, mildly damp panties
>she leans back completely
>still grabbing her left hand, i put my hand to her belly
>pinning her to me completely
>at this time, the porn couple change positions again
>i can feel that they will finish up soon
>we can do this as long as they are fucking like dumb rabbits
>the moment their thing is over, we will find ourselves in a very awkward situation
>so i have to act quickly
>i skip the let's start with over the panties action
>and immediately shift her panties to one side
>she gasps for air
>i cant tell if it was excitement, shock, fear or wtf
>by now im so horny, i couldnt care less if she was having a fucking heart attack
>following after our porn stars, i shush her by leaning to her ear
>her, lets start kissing her while we're at the ear, right?
>i start playing around with her pussy
>i think she shaved a couple of days ago.
>i can feel brand new, needle like hairs
>she's breathing heavily, as do i, to her neck line
>licking her neck and shit, trying not to make too much noise
> I gently start stroking her, unsure of myself because I'm a bit beta
> She leans her head really far back, and licks the outside of my ear
> This tickles, and I almost giggle, but manage to stifle it
> My hand starts to move a little bit more quickly
> My finger slides inside her while I stim her clit with my other hand.
> She starts to undo my pants
> My boner explodes out as it is free
> She pushes me onto my back and slides her panties down around her ankles and past her shoes
> She steps over me, and I'm almost inside her, but then she stops suddenly
> "Are we...why did you?" I sputter, feeling her warmth dripping down onto me
> "We will" she whispers "but first, I'm gonna need about free fidy"
> This is when I realize this 7/10 qt3.14 is actually a 50 ft behemoth from the paleozoic era.

1440
The Flood / >need a facebook for tinder
« on: November 19, 2014, 06:07:29 PM »
wait..so people download a hook up app thats connected to a thing friends family and co-workers use?

Am I the only one who sees the problem with this?

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